Challenge

[EternalBachelor]

I have been reading Doc Love's System which is basically based around being a challenge and had a few questions for the more experienced DJs.

How do you carry Challenge off without seeming too passive? It sounds as if you are basically just hanging back and letting the girl chase you, and the only action you really do is getting the number and arranging the dates and the rest of the time just being calm and relaxed and being friendly in a light, polite sort of way. But does this work in practice when you are confronted by insecure girls afraid of getting hurt and who are no used to chasing and tend to wait for the guy to do all the moves?

How is it adapted to situations where you see the girl a lot of the time e.g. in an office or an evening class or at school? His method of just asking for the number within a halfhour of knowing her would be considered too forward at least in England and a bit desperate. DOc LOve intimated that they will let you know when they are avaliable and interested-how do they do this and what are the signs to look for.

I am a firm believer in challenge as it worked miracuosly for me last summer. I was working in an office and there was a girl I liked, so I was friendly, gave away very little information about myself, arranged for a female friend of mine to come along to a drinks party where she was, and remain evasive about my relationship with that girl. After 4 weeks she cracked and at a drinks evening on her birthday she flirted like crazy with me, trying to touch me all the time (I did not respond) and then tried to kiss me and hug me at the end of the evening.

I screwed this relationship up as I went back to AFC mode as soon as I realised I had won her over, and she predictably dumped me.

As I am very good at controlling my emotions and disciplining myself, and tend to be quiet and non-aggressive anyway, being a challenge tends to come easily to me-sometimes I think I am too much of a challenge. How do you balance this out?

 

[tactic]

So you've finally made a date with a chick, good job! Last time i read your post about not getting any dates with women.


tactic

 

[EternalBachelor]

Thanks tactic. Yeah it felt good to finally get a date, shame I screwed it up, but it is all learning. I also had a very good chance with three older women who were flirting with me during an evening at a concert (we were in the same box), buying me drink after drink-trying to take advantage of me Unfortunately I drank too much and my parents were at the concert too (in different seats) and dragged me away at the end before things could become more interesting.

Yah, the problem at university is that I am really only interested in high-quality (not looks more personality) at an age where a lot of girls are immature and shallow. The few good girls I have come across are unfortunately taken. I have on occassion been to clubs and discos with friends and usually get attention from girls but these tend to be the slutty type and very common (I prefer preppy, classy girls). I figure things will be easier when I leave uni, but until then I am learning to become completely self-sufficent without women and hence a challenge.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Doc Love's email address is on the front page of this website if you wish to ask him any questions about his system.

 

[chimps_rule]

yeah im the same, im too laidback and passive, and girls treat it as hard to get, and the truth is i often not sure about girls interest levels, even if they are sitting down next me and staring longlingy into my eyes, im not sure.

i think u just gotta remain urself and do the challenge thing, and remember there is a window u have to act within, or u lose the opportunity.

give a few bites that u might be interested, then do what u have to do to get her number or whatever.

yeah, im exactly what u described, its a pain sometimes, but it works.

 

[HuuBinh]

my understandin on challenge is that it doesn't work very well on insecure women b/c as challenge kicks in, the woman feels inferior, even though she may have high IL, she assumes that you have a lot of women chasing you thus, she loses her competitiveness only b/c she doesn't think that she can overcome this challenge. But i don't think any of us wants an insecure woman.

 

[chimps_rule]

ive been getting no help on my thread, maybe here i can get some. heres a challenge situtation that happened to me over the past 2 weeks.

there is this chick i dig, and im kinda sure she was interested in me but i wasnt sure (shes a bargirl at this place), anways, i end up getting on with another chick where she works, i leave with the girls number but not too interested to call her cos i liked the bargirl, and i was hoping she didnt see my little display. my friends reasssured me that she didnt see it.

turns out she did.

i go there a few nights ago, bargirl ignores me totally, total opposite to how she was before, no flirting no playfulness etc.

so when her break comes she parades out this barguy, puts her arm around him and looks at me, then walks off with him. my friends who know my story laugh and say, yeah, that was obvious. she comes back and does teh same thing, stares straight at me as she kinos this barguy. more jest from friends.

i usually dont have to get drinks from the bar cos she comes around and gets them for me, and loads them with more then the standard shot. none of this, but because i was kinda not in the wild party mood, i was fairly passive and cool the whole night, so i was getting my drinks from teh bar, i wasnt hitting on anyone, but eventually, the bargirl came aorund again and began playfellness (like pushing me as i walked past kinda stuff), getting my drinks and loading them up with more then the standard shot.
i left early , jsut played it cool and unaffected by the whole thing.

now the question remains, is this barguy her rebound jealousy test thing, revenge for my making-out display on the dance floor? the barstaff after the 'barguy parade' thing where talking, grining and pointing at me after they left, so something is going on!

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

She felt overlooked, easy as that. Maybe she likes you, probably does. Only fvcked up girls would do that kind of emotional bull**** and parading if she didn't like you.