Casual sex is no longer casual for me

[Pandora]

Same problem. I made a thread called taking a break from dating. But i think your OP describes it even better.

I keep running into the same situation when i use OLD for example. If I would swipe like a woman( consciously and not power right swiping) , I would hardly ever get the matches i truly want. So I power swipe, get matched with a mweh lady imo, BUT from the first sentence you can tell she is REALLY into me. And that's where the problems start.

By proceeding its like I take this burden on me on purpose. Just recently a woman flipped out on me because she felt I was stringing her along (which I did). When giving the choice not playing such a woman somehow feels better. By the way this was an age thing, while she was just slightly older than me.

After getting my own fair share of getting strung along I somehow feel more sympathy for women when I am the one doing it. Like I know what's she goes through, and its difficult to just put it aside. It's like I became more human over time.

This Bob qoute hit me hard.
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Exactly bro. Good men become more "human" as they get older. You become more empathetic to what they are possibly feeling. You are also less horny so the sex is not worth the pain you may cause this woman. Sex is a big deal especially if she connects with you.

 

[Pandora]

I have been in this position for a while, and it's partly down to the fact that I've done my share of ruining some women. It might have started with good intentions, or just from a point of just wanting to get my d!ck wet, but ended with the woman being hurt rather badly for whatever reason.

I think the men who are out there to smash as much poon as they can just to run up their ego notch count has a lot to do with the current terrible state of women.

But ultimately the blame for this lies with the birth control pill that enabled women to engage in this kind of behavior.

So the argument is are the men to blame for engaging in this behavior. Some argue that we should be an example of sexual morality to women lol.

Btw have you ever contacted these women you ruined years later? Did you ever apologize? I apologized to a few.

 

[SW15]

A 20 yr old will just go find another guy lol.

There's plenty of demand out there for 30-40 year old women. 30-40 year old women might not get approached as much in-person but all they have to do is be more active on social media or go on a swipe app and then demand for them explodes. It's easy for a 30-40 year old woman to find another guy.

Older guys were not joking when they said it gets better in your 30s.

This hasn't been my experience in my 30s. Attracting-seducing has still been time consuming. I've not seen a magical increase in demand for me in my 30s. In both my 20s and 30s, I attracted and I seduced. I had to put in a lot of effort in both decades of my life.

 

[zekko]

Yeh that could be it. I have more money now. I can take them to better places and not stress too much. I am funnier. I am not as handsome but I am more interesting to talk to now. Older guys were not joking when they said it gets better in your 30s. What is your opinion on this Zekko?

Oh yes, I firmly believe that. As long as you don't let yourself go, and if you put some work into yourself in your 20s. Even taking the edge off the hormones a bit helps IMO.

 

[DonJuanjr]

By the time a guy is in his middle age his sex game will be drastically more well rounded than it was in his 20s.

How has your sex game became more well rounded vs. your 20s?

 

[Kotaix]

So the argument is are the men to blame for engaging in this behavior. Some argue that we should be an example of sexual morality to women lol.

Btw have you ever contacted these women you ruined years later? Did you ever apologize? I apologized to a few.

The argument is that some men are to blame for it, mostly ****bois. Aka narcissists. And in regards to being an example, you can't redpill someone who isn't seeking the truth. All you can do is live by your principles.

I have never contacted them. Did the apology actually do anything?

 

[ThisIsSparta]

I don't know what has changed. I am in my late 30s now and women get more attached now than ever before. I am afraid of having sex with women that I do not want to fully commit to. Sex is not casual anymore. If you fyck her well she will get attached ( as she should).

If she is healthy she will have healthy coping mechanisms to her attachment. If she is unhealthy then things will get real interesting in a bad way. When I was in my younger years I never cared or noticed. It was not a big deal if they got attached or not. I was just really horny and wanted to smash everything. I truly did not connect the dots between sex and tears. I was mostly the one getting hurt more often than not. Girls would semi ghost after sex.

Now I think and say " maybe I should not have sex with her because if she starts to fall for me its going to be a lot of tears and a broken heart. That's not cool to do to someone".

I wish I viewed sex in the same way when I was younger. I also do not remember girls getting as attached. Or maybe my sex game was not that good. Or maybe girls in their 20s have so many options that they can fight their attachment with finding another guy quickly.

Years ago I asked a co worker why he does not pursue a certain girl sexually. He told me " I know myself, if I smash she will get all crazy and attached". I did not understand what he meant. I thought he was being ****y and hyperbolic. Sure enough he was right. He passed, I smashed, and I regret it lol.

I´ve been there in my early 30s ......


Rejecting all that women (pumping and dumping) made me feel bad.
I went as far as telling me " i will not fvck a woman unless she seems like a potential GF".

There are dangers involved in holding back though.

Be aware you might fall victim to oneitis-mindset....... one day you will meet a girl that seems to ge GF-material and you will put her on a pedestal and it will most likely be your downfall.

Also, you will lose abundance-mindset and most likely suffer from pvssy supply shortages.

Be aware of the dangers!

Looking back, worrying about random womens feelings didnt pay off.

And more then one time i found out later that the pumped and dumped in question have been hoes with boyfriends that they tried to monkeybranch from.

Wouldnt recommend it from todays perspective.

 

[Pandora]

And more then one time i found out later that the pumped and dumped in question have been hoes with boyfriends that they tried to monkeybranch from.

Wouldnt recommend it from todays perspective.

Wow. Interesting. You gave me a lot to think about. I guess being moral to amoral creatures is foolish. Thanks