Enough Tap Dancing, Soldiers!
Str8up, this IS NOT directed at you, my friend, This is directed at the Fukk Buddy Scenario as a whole. Because MANY of us have been in this emotional twilight zone you have just posted about.
Here's the truth about Fukk Buddies, Friends with Benefits, and "Friends" (in quotation marks):
You'll RARELY hear this on a site like this due to the inordinant amount of pride, ego, and testosterone that most men allow to clog up their reason. But the truth is...all these types of "pseudo" relationships are volatile in nature----these "relationships" all have a TIME LIMIT attached to them.
They NEVER stay in the previously agreed upon category. NEVER. Even if you can maintain it for 40 years, I can GARAUNTEE you that on year 41, SOMEBODY will want MORE than what was originally agreed upon.
If a man has a heart and he still has NOT burned his conscience to the point of NO RETURN, if he keeps routinely fukking a woman, he WILL develop an emotional attachment to that woman whether he intended to or not.
SEX is a spiritually, biologically, and emotionally BONDING experience that is designed to KEEP two people TOGETHER----even when they're NOT having SEX.
And if you DOUBT the validity of the above statement, then simply ask yourself:
"If sexuality does NOT eventually lead to emotional attachment, and it is NOT The Natural Order of Things, then why is it that most men have to fight AGAINST developing ONEitis, rather than fight FOR it? Hmmmmm???"
We often like to PRETEND that only women get attached, but that's just a bunch a macho bullshyt. Men get attached too---they just HATE to admit it. Guys who aren't in the Sosuave Army think that any emotional INVOLVEMENT with a woman is WEAK----while MANY guys IN the Sosuave Army have been programmed to think that it's AFC.
But SOME emotional involvement is natural---and it always leads to emotional attachment over the LONG HAUL---so choose women WISELY. That's why AFCs lose control and turn into stalkers, killers, or suicide victims. And that's also why so-called DJs (players, macks, human dildos, etc) often hide behind the revolving door of fukking multiple biiitches to AVOID the reality of emotional attachment that SURELY awaits them IF they stay with any given woman TOO LONG.
You see, INSIDE we all KNOW that sex is bonding----it's just that some men become quicker and more agile when it comes to running from it than others. But again, IF they still have a heart, even THEIR legs will eventually give out. So that's why they choose to GET THE HELL OUT (of a possible, newly FORMING relationship bond). Hence, the fukking of multiple biiitches once again ensues...
But this is like playing roulette----THE RUSSIAN KIND. True mature men should realize that if they meet a woman who MIGHT be worth their sole attention, even if it DOESN'T work out, you are STILL prize enough to replace her with just ONE day/night of approaching.
That is, if we really BELIEVE the things we've learned here at the Sosuave Training Academy...
NOT MANY GUYS CAN HANDLE THIS STATEMENT, but here goes anyway:
Often times. Friends with Benefits, Fukk Buddies, etc, CAN be a form of acting out of FEAR and a lack of SELF-CONTROL.
Now, I'm NOT saying that one shouldn't interact with as many women as possible if he's not ready to be serious and just wants to have fun. Or, if he's ctually trying to eventually select just ONE. Just remember that despite what some of us have been taught; people are NOT pawns in a game. There are ALWAYS consequences to our actions. What I AM saying is that we should all do a gut check from time to time.
Are we out here throwing our Dikks around because we are INSPIRED, or are we doing it because we feel DRIVEN.
INSPIRATION you can guage, measure, and control. But being DRIVEN is when you feel forced or compelled, which is EVIDENCE of a lack of a certain amount of self-control.
So, if we are engaging in these types of fukk-buddy manuevers because we are AFRAID to be alone, or are afraid we can't eventually find ONE particular woman who may be worth our extra time, OR are CONTROLLED by our hormones and can't help ourselves------Then we have to realize that we still have a lot of MATURING to do.
Think about it. Why else would we as men choose to endure 6 months of POSSIBLY being stalked by a HOLISTICALLY undesirable or unavailable woman JUST to experience the fleeting thrill of a pent-up ejaculation?
Is walking through the possible mine field of emotional detonation devices really WORTH the risk of her (unselfishly), or US (totally selfishly...lol) being blown to smithereens????
For many of us, the answer is still ironically....YES. I've personally been in this type of situation before, and whether it's ended badly or "mildly", there's always been a little piece of damage left on my psyche ( my mindsets concerning women get a little more JADED...) which is a bad trade off for me ULTIMATELY. But respectfully, to each his own...
However, the ONLY exceptions I have seen to my above observation that "guys get attached too" are those men who have sacraficed their feelings, their emotions, and even their humanity to such an extent where they have crossed the line into amoral, SOCIOPATHIC behavior.
And those types of guys that I have met, no matter how many biiitches they fukk, no matter how HARD they try to act, and no matter how much SHYT they try to talk, have a dark, empty place inside them where their SOULS used to be.
So the final result of the Seeds of Relationship Ambiguity that we've sown is usually the Harvest of Emotional Ambiguity that Str8up just posted about.
So having said ALL THAT. To Str8up, I WILL say that I think you did well by NOT fukking this girl ONE MORE TIME. There's nothing left for you to PROVE, dude. Let her go to this LDR dude----and count your blessings that HIS and YOUR roles are NOT reversed!
Perhaps we should all observe a moment of SILENCE just for the THOUGHT of That guy's situation, troops...
And also, maybe we should CONSIDER the consequences of the whole fukk buddy thing more carefully in the future. Maybe that way we can either get OUT in time (before the feelings come), pursue something more with the chick ('cuz there's NOTHING like a strong sexual attraction between two people to open up the possibility of something MORE), or we could just choose to PASS on fukking the chick (if we already SUSPECT that we'll never want anything more from her than that.)
We ARE mature men,...aren't we?
This has been from the desk of Victory Unlimited...and I APPROVE this message.
Peace...one day.
