zerocelcius said:
Yea but aren't coffee dates a no no? WTF over My mind is melting....
JP. FOR real though... There has to be somthing better than casual dates... THERE JUST HAS TO BE!!!
I am a club guy I love clubs and dancing, however girls seem to want more than that for some reason (a place where they don't have to compete). I like clubs and hanging out at their place (never my place, that is my place only!)
SO what are some other things that are not the norm? (no mini golf or theme parks either - hate em)
The problem you have is that you read too much. You've adpated your mindset to follow what the rules are set as. Rules are a limitation to the full potential of something.
There is rarely such a thing as a no-no. Lets take the coffee date.
Why is a coffee date a no-no, please tell me this? (ie: tell me what you think before you read on,..)
Next, I'm going to tell you how the style of thinking you have is a limitation in itself and it's something you should strive to change.
Why a Coffee Date is a yes-yes.
The number one reason why a coffee date is successful is by knowing your conversation skills. The second reason, the lack of a over-whelming enviroment such as loud music, or dancing. Most people see it as a friends move to try a coffee date, but they fail to realize that if a newly aquired girl accepts a coffee date, she's indirectly telling you that she's interesting in getting to know you better, or else, why didn't she flake?
Next, it's all about the first five minutes you see her. When you first see her, are you going to say hey, give her a hug, pick out the first thing that appears odd, tell her she's very pretty, or what? Your intial approach sets a lot of attributes for her to examine and figure out how you're like. If you come off weak and shy, then she knows that. She's trying to get a read on you, so don't let the first try be a weak one, and that's something you'll have to read off of her as well, and also in trial and error.
So, you met her, normally, we'd both order something and sit down and wait for the waitress to bring it in. It's also a perfect time to chat with the pretty girl serving you, as it helps in giving that outgoing impression your girl is looking for.
Next, you find a spot, and you start talking. This is the bread and butter of the coffee date, because if you're weak in conversation skills, then it won't go well. But if you can carry conversation, daisy-chain topics of interest and make her laugh, you're doing pretty good.
But of course, any good friend can talk, you have to do better, and that is to TEASE and FLIRT. I cannot stress the UTMOST IMPORTANCE of doing that, right from the approach. If you can't flirt, learn how. Flirting is the most powerful key you have to gaining interest, and receptive flirting from her tells you a lot. Is she playful, can you bug her easily, is she a little slow to get things, how comfortable can you touch her, etc. Remember that if you can't flirt and tease...you're just a friend.
Lastly, KINO. It's important that you take the incentive to at least touch her from the first minute on. I usually pull a happy OMG hug, it usually gets them to laugh. Play palm games, hit her playfully when she makes fun at you, and encourage her to touch you as well.
But, a coffee date is even more then that. I've had ones where instead of just a coffee date, we went and shot pool, drove around, did some stupid stuff (honking at a group of people she knows), and THEN the coffee date is also another way of doing things. On the same note, it can start out as just a coffee date, and you both decide to have a little adventure to the grocery store, or to really find out for yourselves whether something you both talked about with the city you're in is true. The uses of a coffee date are endless, from it being the core of your night, to a opening of the night, or a wind down from other dates.
