AGuyNamedStan
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- Jan 24, 2008
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Hi, I've read this board for a while now, but never posted until now. I'm not so good at leaving details out, so i apologize in advance. If you don't want to read it all, that's cool, just move along.
I'm trying to kill the AFC in me and I know the below is a little AFC, but I'm unsure how to proceed... I have a hard time knowing when to be a man and ACT and when to sit back, be cool, and relax...
A little background with the 24 year old girl I'm seeing:
I've known her about a month now. She's very intelligent, down to earth, pretty, goofy and fun, eats well, works out, is on her second degree, etc. Basically just quality all around from what I can tell.
Spent much of the past two weekends with her. High, high interest. Had good sex a few times. I injured my back and she offered to rub it saturday night. She paid for a few expensive dinners on her insistence. We went out and she bought groceries and she cooked me dinner Sunday night. She walked me out to my car in the cold, made out with me a little, and she said she'd let me know about next weekend. We never even talked about next weekend so i thought it was a good sign that she was wanting to get together again. On my way home that night, she sent me a txt saying she hoped my drive is going well and thanks for coming. Then an hour later sent me a good night txt and that she'd talk to me tomorrow. I felt in the driver's seat and that she was at home fawning over me.
I played it cool on Monday. A little contact but not much.
Tuesday morning I txted her "hows doin, lucky girl?" In the early afternoon she responds, "lucky girl?" Then the rest of the night doesn't respond to the 2 quick question txts i sent in reply to that... I kind of jumped the gun wanting to scold her a little since she should know better about this by now and late that night txted her "Okay, when I get ignored i just start to assume you have lost interest. Is that your intention?" I get no response. I know it's kind of a weird thing to say and very likely shouldn't have but we'd talked friendly about this sort of thing a while back and we agreed how silly it was to "play hard to get" and we agreed to be upfront about whether we were interested or not so i was annoyed she'd start doing anything like that. I even warned her that if i'm not getting interest vibes from her I lose interest and move on.
I worry a bit about it, but it's not a giant deal since I figured no response to that is just a blow off and time to get more plates. Around 5 that night, I get two txts from her real fast back-to-back:
"Who ****ing said anything about being ignored...my phone fell out of my bag at a restaurant yesterday...."
"For the last time.....stop pounding me down and jumping to ass backward conclusions!"
Yea, a bit harsh, but it's not quite as it seems... I've QUALIFIED her TOO hard where she has once previously complained to me, "I'm the complete package. You need to just trust me and give me the benefit of the doubt." She is a bit right. I laid out a lot of my expectations over the time i've known her and she knows I think she's quality, and she thinks she's quality, so she wonders "why does he always question it and make me prove myself?" She thinks I'm just looking for her to fail. I know this is good, but i think i do it toooo much. I've never done anything needy like "are you ignoring me" before...i really intended it to just be like "how dare you not respond to my questions!"
So anyway I was surprised to get this response back from her. And relieved since for a few minutes I thought everything was cool and i wasn't delusional about the HUGE number of IOIs she sent me all weekend. She was practically glued to me, nice as can be, showered me with compliments about how soft my touch is, how manly my nose is, constantly grabbing for my hand and trying to walk arm-in-arm with me, etc etc. She was puddy in my hands. OHHH she even told me she had to call the doctor to get birth control shortly before I left her on sunday. We had talked about that and how condoms suck and she wasn't currently on it because "she didn't need to be" but needed to be now since she expected to be having more regular sex (with me).
I respond back with: "That is why I asked, miss. And imagine my surprise when you didnt respond to that. im glad you found your phone and happier you are still classy." I had intended to mean that i was way surprised she didn't answer when i thought she was very interested in me, and i'm glad she still proves to be as classy as I thought. I like to encourage good behavior.
I didn't necessarily expect a response to that and thought nothing of it when i didn't get one. But later that night i text her "what are you up to, stud?" I call her things like "dude" all the time.
I've gotten nothing from her. Why the heck would she say her phone was lost, act like i need to cut down on qualifying her so much and assuming the worst (implying future relations), and that she wasn't ignoring me and then ignore me? And tell me she was getting birth control for us! Lol. Women.
I have next to no signal at my house, which is why we txt and use aim for most communication. I'm thinking of calling her tonight, but if I do, am i supposed to call her out on this and be like what do you think you're doing suddenly turning the brakes on things for no apparent reason... or just start bullcrapping about general things like nothing happened? This is what I mean by not knowing when to take action like a man and when to just chill... i COULD just wait around hoping she'll contact me again but that might be too passive... or contact her and seem needy... ugh.
I really haven't a clue. She could be blowing me off and lost interest or something else. I sent the two txts yesterday with no response and i feel that's enough and don't want to start looking needy. I haven't said anything to her today. Normally this is no big deal not talking to a girl for a few days, but when it's completely opposite of her normal M.O. of constantly trying to get my attention, I have to wonder... She's never given a single vibe as a game player. She always been forthwith saying things like "I really like you. You're a good catch. I'm very interested in you" and looking down on any foolish dating ritual dances others do.
Thanks.
I'm trying to kill the AFC in me and I know the below is a little AFC, but I'm unsure how to proceed... I have a hard time knowing when to be a man and ACT and when to sit back, be cool, and relax...
A little background with the 24 year old girl I'm seeing:
I've known her about a month now. She's very intelligent, down to earth, pretty, goofy and fun, eats well, works out, is on her second degree, etc. Basically just quality all around from what I can tell.
Spent much of the past two weekends with her. High, high interest. Had good sex a few times. I injured my back and she offered to rub it saturday night. She paid for a few expensive dinners on her insistence. We went out and she bought groceries and she cooked me dinner Sunday night. She walked me out to my car in the cold, made out with me a little, and she said she'd let me know about next weekend. We never even talked about next weekend so i thought it was a good sign that she was wanting to get together again. On my way home that night, she sent me a txt saying she hoped my drive is going well and thanks for coming. Then an hour later sent me a good night txt and that she'd talk to me tomorrow. I felt in the driver's seat and that she was at home fawning over me.
I played it cool on Monday. A little contact but not much.
Tuesday morning I txted her "hows doin, lucky girl?" In the early afternoon she responds, "lucky girl?" Then the rest of the night doesn't respond to the 2 quick question txts i sent in reply to that... I kind of jumped the gun wanting to scold her a little since she should know better about this by now and late that night txted her "Okay, when I get ignored i just start to assume you have lost interest. Is that your intention?" I get no response. I know it's kind of a weird thing to say and very likely shouldn't have but we'd talked friendly about this sort of thing a while back and we agreed how silly it was to "play hard to get" and we agreed to be upfront about whether we were interested or not so i was annoyed she'd start doing anything like that. I even warned her that if i'm not getting interest vibes from her I lose interest and move on.
I worry a bit about it, but it's not a giant deal since I figured no response to that is just a blow off and time to get more plates. Around 5 that night, I get two txts from her real fast back-to-back:
"Who ****ing said anything about being ignored...my phone fell out of my bag at a restaurant yesterday...."
"For the last time.....stop pounding me down and jumping to ass backward conclusions!"
Yea, a bit harsh, but it's not quite as it seems... I've QUALIFIED her TOO hard where she has once previously complained to me, "I'm the complete package. You need to just trust me and give me the benefit of the doubt." She is a bit right. I laid out a lot of my expectations over the time i've known her and she knows I think she's quality, and she thinks she's quality, so she wonders "why does he always question it and make me prove myself?" She thinks I'm just looking for her to fail. I know this is good, but i think i do it toooo much. I've never done anything needy like "are you ignoring me" before...i really intended it to just be like "how dare you not respond to my questions!"
So anyway I was surprised to get this response back from her. And relieved since for a few minutes I thought everything was cool and i wasn't delusional about the HUGE number of IOIs she sent me all weekend. She was practically glued to me, nice as can be, showered me with compliments about how soft my touch is, how manly my nose is, constantly grabbing for my hand and trying to walk arm-in-arm with me, etc etc. She was puddy in my hands. OHHH she even told me she had to call the doctor to get birth control shortly before I left her on sunday. We had talked about that and how condoms suck and she wasn't currently on it because "she didn't need to be" but needed to be now since she expected to be having more regular sex (with me).
I respond back with: "That is why I asked, miss. And imagine my surprise when you didnt respond to that. im glad you found your phone and happier you are still classy." I had intended to mean that i was way surprised she didn't answer when i thought she was very interested in me, and i'm glad she still proves to be as classy as I thought. I like to encourage good behavior.
I didn't necessarily expect a response to that and thought nothing of it when i didn't get one. But later that night i text her "what are you up to, stud?" I call her things like "dude" all the time.
I've gotten nothing from her. Why the heck would she say her phone was lost, act like i need to cut down on qualifying her so much and assuming the worst (implying future relations), and that she wasn't ignoring me and then ignore me? And tell me she was getting birth control for us! Lol. Women.
I have next to no signal at my house, which is why we txt and use aim for most communication. I'm thinking of calling her tonight, but if I do, am i supposed to call her out on this and be like what do you think you're doing suddenly turning the brakes on things for no apparent reason... or just start bullcrapping about general things like nothing happened? This is what I mean by not knowing when to take action like a man and when to just chill... i COULD just wait around hoping she'll contact me again but that might be too passive... or contact her and seem needy... ugh.
I really haven't a clue. She could be blowing me off and lost interest or something else. I sent the two txts yesterday with no response and i feel that's enough and don't want to start looking needy. I haven't said anything to her today. Normally this is no big deal not talking to a girl for a few days, but when it's completely opposite of her normal M.O. of constantly trying to get my attention, I have to wonder... She's never given a single vibe as a game player. She always been forthwith saying things like "I really like you. You're a good catch. I'm very interested in you" and looking down on any foolish dating ritual dances others do.
Thanks.
