Cant tell married womans intentions

[dk1990S111]

Hey guys, I just joined because I need help figuring out what to do in this situation I am in.

I work for my parents small business, we have an account rep that just got us set up for one of the shipping carriers at the beginning of the year. Shes very attractive but the only problem is that she just got married about a year ago. If any of you have a problem with that part then you can probably just stop reading. First off, I am not pursing her. Second, I was cheated on a few years ago and it taught me that if you dont keep her happy its partially your fault that shes looking elsewhere. Im not trying to be an a$$hole about this.

Now I just need help to see if you guys think she is really looking for something more than a work relationship or not. I cant be forward with her like I normally would be since it would really mess things up with the company she is repping.

These points arent in any real order, just as they come to mind.

1. She has taken me out to lunch twice now, she always sets it up. Both times during lunch she brings up that her husband is out of town or will be out of town that weekend. Very casually though, she doesnt just come right out and say it. I dont know if this is just coincidence or not. Also, its always just me and her. Usually when a rep takes me out to lunch my mom also comes (owner of the company). When we are out to lunch it is about 95% personal talk and 5% business.

2. After lunch she always texts me right away, like yesterday we leave and within 3-4 minutes she texts me "Thanks D ". I know for a fact that she was driving, rushing to an appointment that she was going to be late for if she didnt hurry.

3. When texting she uses a lot of hehes and smilies. Might just be how she texts but she is someone that takes being professional very seriously.

4. She will text me on Thursday with a "happy almost friday!" or happy fridays eve" those are just two examples. Lots of random little texts like that just to get a convo going, no mention of work most of the time.

5. When she comes to visit every once in a while she is very friendly with me to the point where most of the people I work with say that she has a thing for me after she leaves.

Now there are a few counter points that have me guessing what her real intentions are.

1. She does talk about her husband, not a lot but enough to make me wonder. If any of you guys have expirience with something like this, does the woman bring up her husband ever?

2. On the first lunch she was talking about how a manager at another business was hitting on her supervisor. Basically went on to say "luckily that doesnt happen too often in business". But I kinda got the feeling that she might have said that to see what my reaction would be.

3. Yesterday I tried to pay for her lunch since she paid the first time. I put my card down and she insisted that she pay for herself. I told her I owed her for last time and she said that was not nessicary. The only thing I can think of is that it would be because she is someone who wants to feel validated and like she is equal with men.

So if you read all this, please let me know what you think. Im sure there are a lot of little things I am leaving out. Just hoping that one or a few of you have a good way for me to figure out what her intentions are without being obvious.

 

[vagabond]

you think way too ****ing much. why do you even give a **** what she thinks? Do you want to take the risk and tap that ass or not? If not then just ignore her antics.

 

[AttackFormation]

Why do you care what her intentions are? it's up to her to make a move according to you, so just sit back.

 

[Zarky]

Here's all you gotta know about married women...

If a married woman pays a lot of attention to you it's either because:

1) She wants sex from you
2) She wants attention from you

If it's #1, she will f*ck you very, very quickly. If she doesn't, it's #2.

 

[jester1x]

Ask her to hang out the next time she mentions the hubby is away. Invite her to your place (assuming you live on your own) or offer to bring some food to her place. If she is game then she'll accept either invite.

I'm not condoning seeing a married women but married women aren't as loyal as you think. I've actually had three approach me over the years and they made no secret of their intentions. One outright propositioned me and the other two invited themselves over to my place.

I'm not proud of it and would never do it again. But, I treated the women well, never lied to them and didn't make any false promises. I also didn't fall in love with any of them. Two of them did say they loved me though. It wasn't all about sex but spending time together just hanging out.

It was all up to them and they could take it or leave it anytime. I lost touch with them some years back but we parted on good terms. It opened my eyes up to the reality of marriage and it's probably part of the reason I'm not married yet.

Just keep in mind what you are doing could cause major problems at home, work and with the husband. Is it worth the risk to you? Only you can answer that one.

 

[dk1990S111]

Alright guys, been a while and yesterday/today there were a few things that happened and I need your opinion.

we were texting a lot a few months back but things kinda died off, she went on vacation for a couple weeks and i have just been busy with other sh1t.

yesterday i am working and i get a text from her at 3:42 in the afternoon.

her:Hola! Happy Tuesday! Did you go get your tacos?!
me: I thought you were bringing them?
her: Haha! Well I thought you we bringing them!!!
me: dont tell me you forgot?!?! You said you would bring tacos since I have been doing so much business with you guys
her:What?!?!? How about a compromise? Lunch tmrw?
me: ok thats a good compromise
her: ok how about xxxxx?
me: sounds good, never had lunch there but Ill trust you lol
her: I should be able to meet up by noon...Would that work?
me: works for me
her: cool! see you then!

Like I said in the original post, I cant escalate or be straight forward because of the whole work situation. I basically have to wait until she makes it clear what she wants, which i dont think she has but maybe she thinks she has.

got there and she pretty much right away comments that I look more tan. we go and sit down and have a great convo throughout lunch. At the end she asks "is there anything else you need from me?", but the whole lunch we didnt really talk about work at all. When she asked I kinda paused for a little bit and just said "I dont think so, I think we are good" and she had this look on her face like she was really interested in what i was going to say, hard to explain but just seemed like she was really hoping for me to escalate as far as i could tell but its not a for sure thing. I looked down during the meal and notice she isnt wearing her ring (checked a few times because i was pretty surprised). then as we say goodbye she shakes my hand like usual but this time she touches my arm with the other hand (kino).

as usual though there are some definite signs that i could be reading into things wrong. she and her husband just got a house and she was showing me pictures and showed me one of her husband with his tape measure...talked him up a lot saying how handy he is. we also talked about marriage/crazy brides and she was saying how she doesnt understand the crazy brides that make it all about them, that it should be more about the commitment. Lastly she was saying how she is trying to work less and be a better wife.

Please let me know what you think from all this. The ring thing was a pretty big red flag to me but maybe there was another reason for that. who knows. lets just say that if she wasnt married i would have escalated and probably been banging her for a while now.

any tips on how to subtlety show her what i want without being obvious would be appreciated. if i can get her to just give me one obvious sign that she wants it then its a done deal but until then i just have to wait and tease her (which seems to be working, very slowly though) unless she justs wants the attention like Zarky said in his post.

 

[mikey2012]

Married women

Lol married women are off limits. Someone is probably screwing your wife now.
Thing is now married women cheat as much as men. It all depends if they meet the right guy. Remember any woman will spread the legs for the right guy.
I been in the situation. The girl before she got married was pursuing me like crazy. I held off for a year. I even went to their wedding. Afterwards she still kept on coming. I fvcked her brains out. The affair lasted along time and she got busted however the hubby refused to get divorced. Moral of the story, this is not about her and you, she wants to fvck you, why not? We are basically animals anyway. This is more of a test how puzzy the hubby is.. If I were you I just sit back get your dik sucked and watch the show.

 

[Greasy Pig]

This is all a mirage in your desperate mind. You're analysing every little thing she does trying to find something that you so badly want to exist.
She does business with you and your family, therefore it's in her own interest to be nice to - even flirtatious with - you.
Taken women are notorious flirts because they know that nothing physical will actually happen (in most cases in my experience).
Trust me, this woman knows exactly what she's doing to you and can sense your lustful intentions. Forget trying to advance things with her, she's playing you and loving it.

 

[Alvafe]

Alright guys, been a while and yesterday/today there were a few things that happened and I need your opinion.

we were texting a lot a few months back but things kinda died off, she went on vacation for a couple weeks and i have just been busy with other sh1t.

yesterday i am working and i get a text from her at 3:42 in the afternoon.

her:Hola! Happy Tuesday! Did you go get your tacos?!
me: I thought you were bringing them?
her: Haha! Well I thought you we bringing them!!!
me: dont tell me you forgot?!?! You said you would bring tacos since I have been doing so much business with you guys
her:What?!?!? How about a compromise? Lunch tmrw?
me: ok thats a good compromise
her: ok how about xxxxx?
me: sounds good, never had lunch there but Ill trust you lol
her: I should be able to meet up by noon...Would that work?
me: works for me
her: cool! see you then!

Like I said in the original post, I cant escalate or be straight forward because of the whole work situation. I basically have to wait until she makes it clear what she wants, which i dont think she has but maybe she thinks she has.

got there and she pretty much right away comments that I look more tan. we go and sit down and have a great convo throughout lunch. At the end she asks "is there anything else you need from me?", but the whole lunch we didnt really talk about work at all. When she asked I kinda paused for a little bit and just said "I dont think so, I think we are good" and she had this look on her face like she was really interested in what i was going to say, hard to explain but just seemed like she was really hoping for me to escalate as far as i could tell but its not a for sure thing. I looked down during the meal and notice she isnt wearing her ring (checked a few times because i was pretty surprised). then as we say goodbye she shakes my hand like usual but this time she touches my arm with the other hand (kino).

as usual though there are some definite signs that i could be reading into things wrong. she and her husband just got a house and she was showing me pictures and showed me one of her husband with his tape measure...talked him up a lot saying how handy he is. we also talked about marriage/crazy brides and she was saying how she doesnt understand the crazy brides that make it all about them, that it should be more about the commitment. Lastly she was saying how she is trying to work less and be a better wife.

Please let me know what you think from all this. The ring thing was a pretty big red flag to me but maybe there was another reason for that. who knows. lets just say that if she wasnt married i would have escalated and probably been banging her for a while now.

any tips on how to subtlety show her what i want without being obvious would be appreciated. if i can get her to just give me one obvious sign that she wants it then its a done deal but until then i just have to wait and tease her (which seems to be working, very slowly though) unless she justs wants the attention like Zarky said in his post.

i'm not seeing a girl interested in you i'm seeing a girl who want you like her and keep you as a client

you have 2 things here, is worth lower you moral and bang a *hore? (if that was the case, plus you never know if her hubby will find out and shot you or send someone after you), and put your family bussiness in a bad spot because you mixed things up.

what you really should analize is not if she want to open her legs to you or not, is if will hurt your bussiness in some way, be it by losing clients or getting bad rep from her and her company, you can bet your ass all feedback from your company will come from her and if she says you are not a good company to work with, they will not work with you.

nevertheless I think you are spending too much time and effort on a married woman and not going out with single and not related to your work, lack of options, hence why you care so damn much about this married woman, I would say move on but you will not listen so do whatever

 

[dk1990S111]

thanks for the replies guys, maybe I should clear things up.

First off, we do use her companies services, but we just signed a 3 year contract about a month back. I doubt any of this is to "keep our business".

Second, it really would not have any ill effects on our business if things got ugly. Theres always different reps that could handle our account. But yes I would worry that her husband would do some crazy sh!t.

Basically I am not trying to make a move on her. I meet her for lunch when she wants and thats it so far. If she wants more though I would not be able to say no since she is a definite 10. I am just trying to get an outside perspective on the situation. You might think I am looking into things too much but everyone at work notices how she acts around me when she stops by.

I go out all the time and have no problem with getting single girls either, but this one is such a different situation thats why I wanted to get some perspective.

Last thing I wanna say is that one of our employees was going through a rough time in her marriage, she was about 10 years older than me and had 3 kids. She and some of the other girls from work invited me out for drinks a few months ago. Long story short, we made out in the parking lot outside the bar and she kept asking where we can go to fvck. I kept thinking about the kids and **** and just couldnt do it. I dont just let my d!ck do the thinking for me all the time.

 

[MattTheW]

thanks for the replies guys, maybe I should clear things up.

First off, we do use her companies services, but we just signed a 3 year contract about a month back. I doubt any of this is to "keep our business".

Second, it really would not have any ill effects on our business if things got ugly. Theres always different reps that could handle our account. But yes I would worry that her husband would do some crazy sh!t.

Ok, so that's a plus, no "dipping the pen in the company ink" issues.....
But yeah, you got a husband to "deal" with

Basically I am not trying to make a move on her. I meet her for lunch when she wants and thats it so far. If she wants more though I would not be able to say no since she is a definite 10. I am just trying to get an outside perspective on the situation. You might think I am looking into things too much but everyone at work notices how she acts around me when she stops by.

I've been in this situation, where people have even commented to me that they thought we were together due to the "chemistry" between us

What I think you'll find is happening here (which is what happened to me) is that you are just filling in the gaps in her marriage, she gets all this "fun stuff" with you, banter, meals, little bit of chemistry - but then she has the house, the marriage, the mortgage and the life with the husband

If I'm honest, I doubt if you did make a move you would get very far, you might get some action once, but she'll probably play the guilt card afterwards

I go out all the time and have no problem with getting single girls either, but this one is such a different situation thats why I wanted to get some perspective.

She's different cos she isn't single - she feels more of a challenge to get.....

 

[dk1990S111]

thanks Matt, ya I think you are totally right. I do get the feeling that it is mostly when she is not 100% happy that she is looking for my attention. If nothing happens oh well, no big deal.

 

[VladPatton]

Just be professional, man. She's married and is not available, that's the bottom line. Let her work herself up in a froth if she has intentions of banging you. I, myself, don't buy it. I believe it's a business tactic. It's one of the perils of working with women. When they don't get what they want and you stick to your guns, prices, work limitations, etc., they become raging cünt twӓts! Happens to me all the time, I have my own business. I'd just keep it professional without reciprocating cutesy texts, weekend texts, or any other communications that are not work-related. It's not worth it. She's married, let her live in her married life now.