Can't tell if I'm being ****tested (Let's be friends)

[Ronny92]

I really appreciate all the feedback. I'm glad I played it right. I still feel like she's possibly interested, but I feel that she's on the edge of saying "yes" or "no". I'm trying to keep my discussion with her limited.

The last time I asked her to hang out (yesterday, I told her to meet up with me at 8pm), she didn't respond until 5:15, saying she'd be busy then. I responded an hour later just saying "All right." She immediately asked, "Are you busy now?" I said I was. After I was done, though, I told her we could meet up, but then she said she wasn't on campus.

She's throwing signs as if she wants to meet up, but not really being super concrete. The last two 'offers' from her have been a "Are you busy now?" type thing... and I was both times. As I said, she's given hard to get signals from the start, and especially seemed worried that I was just looking for a hookup. To be honest, I'd be willing to actually date this girl.

As for the community, I want to keep you guys updated on how this plays out. I feel like this is the (if it is a **** test) strongest **** test i've ever had to go through.

 

[devilkingx2]

The last two 'offers' from her have been a "Are you busy now?" type thing... and I was both times.

i hope you made it clear that it was legit and that you weren't blowing her off/retaliating or something

 

[SAYNO]

Wow surprised everyone else missed it. But first she asked you "Are you out at a club?". Then she asked "Are you busy right now?" Think! Why would a woman be asking you these types of questions?

She wants to see if you have high value, status and a life, intresting hobbies and not just sitting back twiddling your thumbs type of guy. Which tells me that at some point you may have came across as boring. :yawn:

When they ask questions like that be vague then her hamster will kick in and she will start thinking about you. Get it?:yes:

 

[Ronny92]

i hope you made it clear that it was legit and that you weren't blowing her off/retaliating or something

I did. I mean.. when she asked me "Are you out?" I was legitimately in bed because it was a Thursday night, at almost midnight. I had class the next day. When I said I was in bed, she said "Nvm it's all good. For what it's worth, you're pretty cool" <-- I have NO idea what that meant...

As for the next time, when she asked if I was busy, I said I was playing football with some friends (which she knows is true, because her mutual friends told her about the event and they were there).

Wow surprised everyone else missed it. But first she asked you "Are you out at a club?". Then she asked "Are you busy right now?" Think! Why would a woman be asking you these types of questions?

She wants to see if you have high value, status and a life, intresting hobbies and not just sitting back twiddling your thumbs type of guy. Which tells me that at some point you may have came across as boring.

When they ask questions like that be vague then her hamster will kick in and she will start thinking about you. Get it?

Yeah, I probably should have done that. But I have no reason to feel like I need to lie about being in bed on a school night.. lol. And I was doing something the next day, which she would have possibly found out I was there anyway due to mutual friends.

 

[devilkingx2]

I did. I mean.. when she asked me "Are you out?" I was legitimately in bed because it was a Thursday night, at almost midnight. I had class the next day. When I said I was in bed, she said "Nvm it's all good. For what it's worth, you're pretty cool" <-- I have NO idea what that meant...

yeah i have no idea what that means either... random compliment?

 

[Sofomore]

You handled it well. Just back off and let her come to you. Remember that a girl that is highly interested in you won't confuse you.

 

[Ronny92]

Reporting back:

met up with her last night to study for exams. Nothing really happened, just some slight flirting.

Met up with her today to get some coffee, went for a walk. We kissed. Got close. She seems interested in more.

Overall, I'm definitely not friendzoned.

 

[Lozboss]

OP,

Everyone on here is saying back off. So you continue to pursue her?

Either listen to advice or do what you want. But stop chasing this girl.

You don't need to NC her but don't initiate and get her to chase you. Meanwhile- GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE. See OTHER women etc.

 

[Ronny92]

OP,

Everyone on here is saying back off. So you continue to pursue her?

Either listen to advice or do what you want. But stop chasing this girl.

You don't need to NC her but don't initiate and get her to chase you. Meanwhile- GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE. See OTHER women etc.

Who said I was chasing..? Because I agreed to meet up with her?

In any case, as I just said, she admitted we are not just friends. She wants to pursue things further.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

OP,

Everyone on here is saying back off. So you continue to pursue her?

Either listen to advice or do what you want. But stop chasing this girl.

You don't need to NC her but don't initiate and get her to chase you. Meanwhile- GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE. See OTHER women etc.

The easiest way to get her chasing you if she will is to chase other women hard.

There is some ying-yang balance that goes on in relationship, you will create a void and if she misses you she will fill it. You don't have to bang the other women, but pursue as if you are going in for the kill.

It will put your attention on the right place, on yourself and outside of her.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Anyhow, the next day, I send a teasing text. She responds, but then 40 minutes later decides to give me a long text saying that we have mutual friends, she didn't feel comfortable with my advances after she said "no", etc. She said she wants to be friends.

She is basically accusing you of sexual assault. You are one step away from being judged by a kangaroo court comprised of a librarian, LGBT/women's issues prof and some supplicating mangina from the student union. Do a google search for "Title IX" and "Dear Colleague letter" if you have been living under a rock for the past few years and are unaware of the current "rape culture" hysteria.

IMO, you should cease all contact with this girl and never talk to her again, if at all possible. Forget about trying to hook up with her again.

 

[Ronny92]

I cannot tell if you guys read all of my posts or not. But either way, I've been just not texting her (and she has not been texting me) for the past few days. Our last meetup went great, but I feel like just ignoring her is kinda pointless given how our last meetup went. Do I just continue to wait it out and hope she offers to meet up after her finals? (I finish Tuesday, she finishes Thursday... but I leave Friday).