Can't enjoy clubs

[Life-Trainee]

Ok, i have a dilemma. I don't get much exposure to chicks because my college is of technical nature. So I started going to clubs, that are frequently full of chicks. However, I can't seem to enjoy any of my clubbing experiences. In effect, my confidence plummets and I feel I don't belong there. I've been to different clubs but my experience seems the same. I try to get into music, dance, but I just can't enjoy myself. I consider myself good looking, i dress nice, i am tall, and will hopefully have a good job soon. My confidence runs away in all inappropriate times.

 

[NaturallySelected]

Originally posted by Life-Trainee
Ok, i have a dilemma. I don't get much exposure to chicks because my college is of technical nature. So I started going to clubs, that are frequently full of chicks. However, I can't seem to enjoy any of my clubbing experiences. In effect, my confidence plummets and I feel I don't belong there. I've been to different clubs but my experience seems the same. I try to get into music, dance, but I just can't enjoy myself. I consider myself good looking, i dress nice, i am tall, and will hopefully have a good job soon. My confidence runs away in all inappropriate times.

Learn to relax. Sounds like you are waaay to self-concious. You are focusing on yourself to much and how you appear to others. You are thinking too much and are concentrating on chicks more than you are on having a good time. You are definitely too tense. Some might consider this bad advice - but drink a few beers or have some shooters, not so much that you're drunk but enough to let you relax. Go to clubs with good friends that you get on well with. It will make the experience a lot more pleasant.

Stop concentrating on how you look and just enjoy yourself. I find that some clubs suck and no matter what I do they aren't fun. I went with four beautiful women to a club last week, despite that I couldn't have fun. The music wasn't that good, the club had no atmosphere.

Seriously, when it comes to clubbing, if you're a shy dude. Drink. Can't pick up girls when you're drunk? Tell that to my friend who's been in a long-term relationship for over a year. It may seem a spineless way to do it, but it will help.

 

[rgeere]

Churches and social events, like job fairs, or anywhere where people are expected to talk with one another are actually better places to meet women. You might actually have better luck, and the women tend to be less catty than if you went to a bar or night club.

 

[Hollowpoint]

Only reason I can't enjoy clubs is because I want to start throwing and dumping people their heads.

Other than that I like clubbing. (The very few times I've gone.)

 

[ShortTimer]

Can you have fun at the library? It's a serious question. I know that I sure could (well depends on the library really), with all of the information available there I'm sure there would be something interesting to pick up and read and get engrossed in.

Most people, however, don't really enjoy the library. It's quiet, boring and dull. Funny, but that's exactly how I feel every time I walk into a club. If something is to keep my interest then my brain must be stimulated, that's just the way I am and I realize most people can't relate.

That's why I'll get the same comments IRL as Life-Trainee here just did: "relax, have fun, loosen up." What these people will never understand is that I can never have fun at a club for the same reasons they don’t have fun at a library. They don't have fun at a library because it's not who they are, and I don't have fun at a club because it's not who I am either.

Clubs absolutely boor me to death, I find nothing redeeming about a room full of desperate drunken 20 something’s who can't hear one another speak because the music is too loud. There is literally nothing to do but stand around and drink, and that is a total waste of my time (I can do it at home much cheaper thank you). I guess you could approach a girl, but she'll most likely be of the "clubs are fun" crowd so you won't be compatible anyway.

Instead, go to the places you feel most comfortable to find women; you'll be much more self-confidant there anyway.

 

[golf299]

shortttimer is 100% correct

 

[Loke]

I personaly love clubs. I can go out alone, not tak to one person, and have a blast. I go for the music, for the dancing, and sometimes for the beer. Maybe clubs aren't your thing. But I think most peolple who feel this way are not looking at the club for the right reason. Getting girls is always on my mind. When I go to the club, or to the library (yes I love the library too). But I don't go to the club or the library for the reason of picking up women. Find the music you like. Fnd the club that plays the music you like.

I personally got into clubbing for the house music. I love techno and house. I go, dance from the time the club opens to the time it closes. Eventually you become a familliar face. Even if you suck at dancing, people recognize you and respect you for going there and having a great time. I usually make friiends with the bartenders and the DJs (those are the ones spinning the tracks, not the Don Juans). If you go to a larger club where there is more than one DJ, or an extra sound/lighting guy, go up and ask to check out the system. Tell them your an audio guy and want to see the equipment. If it's one busy DJ, leave him alone. But I usually make friends with these gus. They know I'm the one ALWAYS on the dance floor(If you DJ you know sometimes it only take one person to get out there and start moving and everyone else will follow), they know I am the one they are playing for. I go up, talk to em, request ****, etc.

When you go in there with an attitude like this, everything becomes easier. People recognize your status, let their gard down a little, your having fun no matter what happens, and people notice that too. Your there becasue you want to be, not just to get laid. It will all fall into place from there. But the key is, to change in your head the reason your there. Just say "I'm here to dance." Or whatever. You can't lose. Your confidence will go up.


Loke

 

[CLOONEY]

Clubs are my second home and I LOVE THEM!!!

Without alcohol I HATE clubs!!

Is there something wrong with me?

No, I take care of my body, and a little alcohol every few nights doesnt harm me one bit.

Although if you really dont like them, just dont go to them. The same as I never go to the library!

 

[vdk]

Like Loke, I go to clubs to enjoy the music (trance and hard house) and dont mind going solo. Unlike other people Im not there to pick up chicks rather than have a fun time, but the funny thing is women approach me. Maybe its because I feel comfortable and confident there.

Clubbing is like beer. At first you think it sucks, but the more you go especially with friends you will like it.

My tip for you:

*Go to a club with a mate or wingman so you can acquire targets that are lumped together. Go solo only if you're experienced.

*When you approach EXPECT to be rejected, the failure rate for a typical guy is over 50%. Just know the signals she gives you when she is interested e.g. ask questions about your life. Then get her number or go for a ONS.

*DONT EVER buy a woman a drink!!! When a woman asks you to buy her a drink (it's happened to me a few times) its a test to see if you are a sucker, however, next her anyway. Why? I lived long enough to know that beauty isnt everything and the fact she gave me a test means she is usually high maintenance anyway.

*Before you leave the club make sure you get at least 2 rejections or a number or a gal in your arm!

Good luck bro

Nick