cant be bothered anymore

[djgirl]

Being a bi girl and having been.on dates with both men and women I have to say I am totally through with the whole dating game. I am 25 and feel like a failure at this whole game. I have dated 2 people for no more then 3 months and only slept with 4 people. I can't seem to meet anyone my age whose decent and doesn't play games or want just a bang. I feel like I'm destined to be single. Young girls play me and fu*k me over time and time again and those my age I never seem to be good enough for. And guys my age only seem to want me for one thing.

I don't know what I am doing wrong. I study, work and goto the gym. I'm straight edge and don't really goto pubs mainly cos I don't drink and most of the low quality people that usually go to those places. Dating sites are just as worse.

It's not just men that have problems in this dating world but women do too. Btw I've read your DJ Bible over and over and other multiple books and still no luck. I'm starting to get used to the idea of being forever alone...ughhh

 

[betheman]

Being a bi girl and having been.on dates with both men and women I have to say I am totally through with the whole dating game. I am 25 and feel like a failure at this whole game. I have dated 2 people for no more then 3 months and only slept with 4 people. I can't seem to meet anyone my age whose decent and doesn't play games or want just a bang. I feel like I'm destined to be single. Young girls play me and fu*k me over time and time again and those my age I never seem to be good enough for. And guys my age only seem to want me for one thing.

I don't know what I am doing wrong. I study, work and goto the gym. I'm straight edge and don't really goto pubs mainly cos I don't drink and most of the low quality people that usually go to those places. Dating sites are just as worse.

It's not just men that have problems in this dating world but women do too. Btw I've read your DJ Bible over and over and other multiple books and still no luck. I'm starting to get used to the idea of being forever alone...ughhh

My heart bleeds for you....there are plenty of 'decent' people out there, admittedly they may be in the minority but if you yourself were attractive and decent, they would find you. your complaint smacks of the ones you attracted to are not decent, you need to work that out

 

[djgirl]

Im not ugly though i feel as though i am attractive and have people tell me all the time. And im friendly and decent and have morals but that still doesnt seem to cut it

 

[The Gambler]

Do you like men and women equally, or do you have a preference? (Or maybe the better question to ask is whether you prefer masculine or feminine?) The reason I ask is because the behavior associated with each of these is usually a bit different.

Straight-edge rules. I think you might be a little confusing to most people! You've gotta admit you're unique, but I think in a good way.

 

[djgirl]

I prefer women but i have sh1t luck with them completely. I like masculine men though and femme girls.

 

[Packers2010]

i feel the same as you. i really do. though haven't sex with 4 people is nothing to be laughed at. my tally stands at 1.

people our age ( i'm talking 18-15 ) are just so mentally retarded there is no hope for people like me and you. we aren't like the so we don't fit in. we aren't stupid and low level thinkers.

you forget that girls have guys THROWING them selves at girls. just look at facebook. some girl will put up a crappy picture with her boobs a little out and she will get 30 likes within the day.

the other day i was talking to a 4. she saw my facebook and then stopped talking to me. girls don't have to put in ANY effort in now to get what they want from guys.

me. i have to go to the hilt twice. before i can even get a look in from a fat ugly b!tch. it's wrong man.

 

[The Gambler]

I prefer women but i have sh1t luck with them completely. I like masculine men though and femme girls.

Ok, got ya. To be honest, I have absolutely no experience with this kind of dynamic (and I'm sure most of the posters here don't either). The universal advice is to always try and appeal to what you're looking for (i.e. use a certain type of bait to catch a certain kind of fish). You probably know what you're doing, so there's no need for me to get too preachy, but most of the guys here need to refine either their appearance, communication skills and/or self-esteem.

I look forward to hearing what others have to say. If you have any examples to give about how things went wrong in the past, it'll give us a better picture of what might be going on. Maybe there's a pattern here somewhere???

 

[TonyBaloney]

Young girls play me and fu*k me over time and time again and those my age I never seem to be good enough for. And guys my age only seem to want me for one thing.




I don't know what I am doing wrong. I study, work and goto the gym. I'm straight edge and don't really goto pubs mainly cos I don't drink and most of the low quality people that usually go to those places.

On the first paragraph, you may have your anwser- you need to find a mature person who wants a committed relationship with a (highly sexual?) person.

I would advise looking for an older male or female, who knows their own mind and will like your youth, you will like their stability.





On the second paragraph, it sounds like you take life far too seriously! Wheres the enjoying having funpart???? I agree with the low quality thing about pubs....i'm from England, and depending on where you live this is an issue....but theres nothing wrong with sometimes tryingthem to see if you can meet people there.... Gyms I find very socially awkward. Why dont you make it a priority to seriously try lots and lots of different things....you may be suprised at where you meet that special person....

Good luck!

 

[djgirl]

Packers> i hear ya man i really do. Its scary really.
For example had a date this week with this chick i met off fb shes been all into me for a while now, flirty an everything. We meet and make out have fun but wouldnt sleep with me because she wants me to "wait" yet brangs on to her friends how she easily she slept with other girls on first dates....

The guys i meet promise me the world, seem like really great guys untill i come to learn they only want me for one thing. I cant win with both sexes.

 

[betheman]

You are 25, men/women around your agearent neccessarily looking for anything steady, some will. lesbians are notoriously promiscuous, perhaps more so than any straight man/woman and gay men. therefore finding lesbian or ac dc like yourself to pin down for an LTR is a big hill to climb.
you say you prefer masculine guys...alphas? they arent readily going to settle down either, the reality is you cant give up, you have to keep out there, dotn have such high expectations or it will eat you up.

 

[Packers2010]

Packers> i hear ya man i really do. Its scary really.
For example had a date this week with this chick i met off fb shes been all into me for a while now, flirty an everything. We meet and make out have fun but wouldnt sleep with me because she wants me to "wait" yet brangs on to her friends how she easily she slept with other girls on first dates....

The guys i meet promise me the world, seem like really great guys untill i come to learn they only want me for one thing. I cant win with both sexes.

it sounds like you do better with girls then I do.

 

[DonGorgon]

all humans are facing this problem.. the quality of society and mating relations relations is at an all time low

 

[floydb25]

If the guys who date you seem like they're just using you for sex, then you're probably dating guys that see you as beneath them. So lower your standards or accept the consequences of your choices.

Word. But note that this may not be related to looks. You can be "pretty" and decent, but a lot of young guys want hot / wild / flashy / loud / skanky. A lot of guys also have their standards set up in this manner. They'll bang a decent, good looking girl, but pine after the crazy hot trophy fake girls who act like they don't matter. And vice versa for the girls.

Most everyone wants the exciting, unpredictable, charming, in-demand, hot types during their younger years, because they're all wanting to fit in, show off, and be accepted by their peers. They also have no sense of self, and seek the approval of others. This is also when all they do is party, have fun, and get laid. Nothing really lasts, and attention spans are low. People's standards are all sorts of ****ed up, and quality isn't very important. They don't realize that all those "cool" *******s are just insecure, worthless losers, for example. But you don't see it like that at the time. I sure as hell didn't. :moon:

But I question who YOU are chasing after in all of this. Most people chase after the same type - then complain when they are the way they are - who also chase after the same type themselves. If any of them were decent (ie, you were seeking after decent people yourself) - there would be no problems or complaining. Something tells me you're just as guilty as all the rest.

 

[goundra]

so, for now, at least, get an OLDER guy, one who's 50 or so will probably be thrilled to have you. Get him to help you line up a college degree or one helluva job, preferably both, learn how to invest, so that you don't have to work more than 5-10 years, so you can pay for a nanny, if you decide to have kids. the pressure of not getting relief from the kids has destroyed many a relationship. As long as the guy understands that he's "just a sugar daddy", for a few years, all should work out just fine. so "all he wants' is your sweet thing, so what? it's a short term trade off.

 

[ScottMustaine]

Word. But note that this may not be related to looks. You can be "pretty" and decent, but a lot of young guys want hot / wild / flashy / loud / skanky. A lot of guys also have their standards set up in this manner. They'll bang a decent, good looking girl, but pine after the crazy hot trophy fake girls who act like they don't matter. And vice versa for the girls.

Most everyone wants the exciting, unpredictable, charming, in-demand, hot types during their younger years, because they're all wanting to fit in, show off, and be accepted by their peers. They also have no sense of self, and seek the approval of others. This is also when all they do is party, have fun, and get laid. Nothing really lasts, and attention spans are low. People's standards are all sorts of ****ed up, and quality isn't very important. They don't realize that all those "cool" *******s are just insecure, worthless losers, for example. But you don't see it like that at the time. I sure as hell didn't. :moon:

But I question who YOU are chasing after in all of this. Most people chase after the same type - then complain when they are the way they are - who also chase after the same type themselves. If any of them were decent (ie, you were seeking after decent people yourself) - there would be no problems or complaining. Something tells me you're just as guilty as all the rest.

Don't want to be an arsehole. But what I put there in bold kinda seems (not that it IS) consists at least 50% of guys here. Except the laid part.

 

[Asterisk]

Just waiting for the bi girl to ask why we don't trust bi girls.....

 

[yuppaz]

Packers> i hear ya man i really do. Its scary really.
For example had a date this week with this chick i met off fb shes been all into me for a while now, flirty an everything. We meet and make out have fun but wouldnt sleep with me because she wants me to "wait" yet brangs on to her friends how she easily she slept with other girls on first dates....

The guys i meet promise me the world, seem like really great guys untill i come to learn they only want me for one thing. I cant win with both sexes.

Wowza - You are sad because guys want to bang you fast but also sad because a girl doesn't want to bang you fast. I know you are trying really hard, but you can't have it both ways.

As I guy I'm a little pissed at how you value girls higher then guys (the sex issue above). If you valued men you would also be happy that they wanted to f*ck you.

I think you are neutral in your energy (in the middle of masculine and feminine) so less attractive to feminine girls who want more masculine guys and less attractive to masculine guys because you aren't that feminine. Try finding less feminine girls and more feminine guys that you still think are attractive, see if that works out better for you.

 

[djgirl]

It's different for a girl.though. Sure it's a great sign that a guy wants to bang me quick but I have found that they are usually the guys who want nothing more from you. This is why I have an.issue with it. I'm after a LTR with either a guy or a girl. But it seems all the people.around my age group are only interested in drinking or sleeping around and about how popular you are. It's pathetic.

 

[yuppaz]

That's the night / party scene... You also got to realize that sh*t tons of lesbian girls are f*cked up in the head and therefore do drugs and drink too much and have lots of drama....not being a d*ck, it's an observation.

I left the night scene for the same reason (the superficiality of it all) and have had much more success / happiness because of that. Now the girls I wanted bad before are intimidated by me because I could give a rip about them...mostly because I look down on that scene...see how that works? Why don't you meet guys doing fun hobby type stuff or chicks in meetup groups for healthy lesbians that go hiking or something?

 

[yuppaz]

The night scene is a self fulfilling prophecy of cycling low self esteem. You don't feel like you are good enough so you try hard, but you can never feel like you are good / hot enough period. But with high self esteem you actually are 10X more attractive