cannot orgasm during sex

[aner]

hey guys,

I posted before on a completely unrelated topic and got good responses, so I thought I'd ask another (and more sensitive and serious) question.

I'm almost 21, and I've never had an orgasm during sex, despite having been sexually active for 3 years now.

A little history: In the beginning, when I first tried sex, I had problems getting an erection at all, just the first two times, but a friend of mine gave me half a pill of viagra, and just HAVING it with me in a tic tac box in my pocket solved the problem, which must have been mostly psychological. To this day I don't understand it.

Then even though I was hard and having intercourse, I could never come. I would honestly just go until I got tired or it started getting painful for the girl. The fact that I never came made her feel a little insecure, but she usually enjoyed the long duration (I didn't), so it didn't put too much strain on our relationship.

I can come perfectly fine during masturbation, but ONLY with my own right hand. I've tried it with my left...it really is impossible. I get turned on pretty easily while making out etc., but sex itself doesn't feel like anything...though the girl seems to enjoy it, and while they can fake an orgasm, they can't fake being really wet, right? Nor can she fake wanting it frequently over several months.

I masturbate once or twice a day--is this the problem?

I'm about to start a new sexual relationship, and honestly don't want to try explaining this to another girl...it's also pissing me off a bit.

I apologize if this is the wrong forum--a real problem, has anyone asked a similar question?

EDIT: I also wanted to point out that when I come during masturbation, the amount isn't very much. I've even been told this by a girlfriend, which was a little embarrassing.

 

[TheLadiesMan]

That's what I think, happens to beginners. I remember going thru something similar when I was starting out, which was about 2 weeks ago. sike

I've since taught myself to cvm, without actually truly cvmming, you know what I'm saying?

I can go at it for hrs, and with some control, I can get off several times, before I truly unleash the poisons.

I can either go hrs without, and have a one hella orgasm, or go for hrs, and have several mid-to-high level orgasms.

 

[aner]

So you think masturbation is the problem? I've been told so long that masturbation is 100% consequence-free that I didn't even think of it.

I'm not sure how I can train myself to come...sex feels like NOTHING. And the novelty of thinking "oh i just had sex...awesome" wore off after like the hundredth time I just went through the motions.

 

[insidious]

Hey aner, we've all been through that.
Take it from an old-timer.
Tell you the truth, I was spotty even into my early 20's. It wasn't until sex became "regular" that I was able to dump the load.

Practice makes perfect. You have to do it a lot and you will get the hang of it. Sex is not something that happens quite easily man...sex to reproduce is easy, any monkey can do it. Sex for pleasure is an acquired skill.

I would only suggest maybe tapering off those monkey-beating sessions in the days before you anticipate getting laid. Your sensitivity will be higher and maybe instead of not cumming at all, you'll have the opposite problem, and come in 10 seconds.

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

Cut down on the masturbation, especially on days you know you might get some. Also, try using thinner condoms and see where that gets you.

If you're masturbating twice in a day then having sex not long after, I could understand why it might take you forever to finish. Try abstaining a bit as I said before. If not that, it sounds like it could be psychological.

PS: Are you on any medications? Some can definitely have sexual side effects.

 

[TheDoctor]

aner, listen up and listen good.

You are pulling the sausage a little too much. You have CONDITIONED yourself to cvm in a particular fashion. That's why you can't do it with your left hand or with a different stroke than you normally use. Slack off a week or so if you can, then jump back in with a different technique. Don't give up until you get the result you are looking for. If you don't get it, try later or the next day. Keep this up. It's both mental and physical so it will be tough but you can overcome it. If it takes two weeks so be it. You'll have a hell of a reward at the end of those two weeks or how ever long it takes.

As for the volume, you can only produce a finite amount of ***. You aren't giving your body enough time to replenish your store. Take the advice above and I promise when you succeed, you will be shocked at the amount produced. You will have been storing it up all that time.

I speak from experience. When I was in highschool I had this problem too. It is embarassing and sucks and sometimes the girls will think it is them and split. It took a serious girlfriend to break my habit. I stopped wackin altogether for a couple weeks and then didn't do it for a month or two once I got on track with the problem.

Any more questions, just ask.

 

[JohnnyIrish]

When you say "but sex itself doesn't feel like anything".. do you use condoms?

If so then try different brands of ultra thin condoms until you find ones that you like (or at least like more and feel better). I've tried regular condoms after getting use to using nothing..and I can't *** using them. That was until I found a good ultra thin condom I like (ok it isn't as good as sporting the unit unsheathed but it feels a LOT better then using regular condoms).

 

[speed dawg]

I wish I had this problem. I'm usually a two-pump chump.

Start thinking of it as a positive. You can fvck these wh0res for hours and not cvm. The kind of stamina every good slvt wants.

If you do that, guaranteed you'll start enjoying yourself more and easily will be able to get off.