Cancelling a date due to perceived low-interest

[BJP1991]

Just had the following situation happen today:

Went on a bumble date with a girl a month ago and it went well - ended with a kiss and her wanting to do something again.

Few days later I made a second date for the coming Friday. We get to Friday and she cancels a half hour before we are supposed to meet at a local bar, she “has a cold”. I told her no problem, let me know when she feels better.

Three weeks go by without a word, I ended up texting her “hey, how are things going?” And over the next 2 weeks we have on and off texts (she was home for the holidays) and eventually we decided to do something next Friday. This whole time I am seeing other girls and hooking up with a few of them.

Today, I woke up (after hooking up with a different girl on a first date last night) and decided to cancel the date with the girl next week, just because I wasn’t feeling it (at the moment) and perceived her as having low interest after canceling the first time and never texting me afterwards.

She freaks out, starts judging my character, etc for cancelling on her. My question is, has anyone encountered something like this before and how did you handle it? Obviously I’m never going to text her again, or try to see her ever again (since I’m way more interested in the other plates I’m spinning), but do people do what I did?

Probably sounds like a major rookie move, but I don’t care that much since other plates are spinning quite well as of late.

Cheers,
BJP

 

[sazc]

She freaks out, starts judging my character, etc for cancelling on her. My question is, has anyone encountered something like this before and how did you handle it? Obviously I’m never going to text her again, or try to see her ever again (since I’m way more interested in the other plates I’m spinning), but do people do what I did?

you dodged a bullet there!

 

[Thorninmyside]

No one gets a cold 1/2 an hour before meeting time. She blew you off for other options but didn't like the taste of her own medicine.

 

[kbbroiler1971]

Okay, what you are experiencing is a case of her being entitled to do whatever and you can't do the same thing. I would cut her lose and tell her the reason. I seriously doubt she had a cold. She probably thought she had a better offer and it fell through. Her excuse is very lame.

 

[Tilex]

Every blue pill guy goes through this in his life.
This is your typical standard flake.
Not all flakes are the same though! I've seen different variations.
Once you've experienced 4 or more signs of flakey behavior in your lifetime from different women, you'll be able to spot BS behavior from miles away.
And because I've this experienced this bad behavior so many times, I can safely say that all women will have high chances of flaking on you if you haven't had sex with them yet.
Having sex with them lowers the flake rate by at least 65%

 

[Glassguy]

No one gets a cold 1/2 an hour before meeting time. She blew you off for other options but didn't like the taste of her own medicine.

This.

I would bet that she wasnt showing up for that date you canceled either unless all of her other options were busy.

 

[BJP1991]

This.

I would bet that she wasnt showing up for that date you canceled either unless all of her other options were busy.

Hence why I cancelled it. I really only re-initiated to see if the plate would still spin, but remembered she isn’t worth my time when I have other girls who want to see me and express interest. Her reaction about my character is a true reflection of the person she is, and has nothing to do with me (or so I will continue to believe).

Clearly her interest level raised in the week or two we got back in touch. She just couldn’t handle a taste of her own medicine and resorted to insulting me, rather than being an adult about it. I told her if she can’t respect my decision to not waste any more time or money, that I don’t give a damn.

She also was mad that I only ever reached out to her to hangout. Clearly also a sign that she needs extra coddling and an emotional tampon to text her all day (like the dozen or so other losers from bumble who likely blowup her phone all day). The phone is for setting dates up, and no more (in the earliest stages of dating).


Has anyone else had an experience where a girl gets upset that you don’t text her in between dates just to “chitchat”? I find that totally a waste of my time, plus what do you even talk about when you do see one another if you already were texting all week long?

 

[Glassguy]

You reached out to her after a couple weeks. That doesnt really say that her interest level raised.

Now if she had reached out to you after a couple of weeks I would say her interest was raised.

This girl is a classic example of how a woman will have low interest but continue texting right up till its go time on the day of the date.....and then flake. Knowing they werent going to show up the entire time.

I'm not criticizing you, but this is why you NEVER reach back out after a chick flakes. Never. Silence and distance over time may increase her interest but reaching out never will. Want to know why? Because you're telling her that if she treats you disrespectfully (the flake) you will just come back.

And there is nothing attractive about that.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Low interest and no respect for other people in general, clearly not the best you can get in this department.

I still believe in this current setting that anything less than an enthusiastic yes its a low sign of interest, an interested girl would never do anything that could confuse, p1ss off or annoy a man with the risk of losing him.

Generaly if you are unsure, confused or stressed is your gut letting you know to drop it...I would say that if something doesnt work its because its broken.

 

[Chi Town]

You reached out to her after a couple weeks. That doesnt really say that her interest level raised.

Now if she had reached out to you after a couple of weeks I would say her interest was raised.

This girl is a classic example of how a woman will have low interest but continue texting right up till its go time on the day of the date.....and then flake. Knowing they werent going to show up the entire time.

I'm not criticizing you, but this is why you NEVER reach back out after a chick flakes. Never. Silence and distance over time may increase her interest but reaching out never will. Want to know why? Because you're telling her that if she treats you disrespectfully (the flake) you will just come back.

And there is nothing attractive about that.

A girl reaching out doesn't mean her interest has raised. It means she wants some attention.

 

[Glassguy]

A girl reaching out doesn't mean her interest has raised. It means she wants some attention.

Sometimes. It's how you handle it that determines whether you continue to spike her interest or if you immediately lower it (again).

Act super happy, be immediately available, respond back to her like its the greatest thing since sliced bread and or immediately ask her out (again)= you will surely lower her interest again.

Act like you could take it or leave it, have other plates and dont really care, dont asks her any return questions to show interest, dont care if the convo fizzles and NOT ask her out = her interest may continue to rise.

Basic stuff fellas.

 

[nismo-4]

OP, consider this a blessing!

She's mad you had other options and she can't get you in the beta role she wanted.

When an online date flakes, especially like that, it's an automatic delete and block. Find another girl.

Women who reach back out to you after they flaked just want attention.

BTW, when she couldn't get that drama with you after you flaked (dropped) her, she got with either Chad or Tyrone.

Alas, never contact again unless you want to be her new beta. Right now you're useless to her.

Explore your new options.

Case closed.