Can you truly trust a woman?

[Krassus]

From a very early age, i've been hearing that women can never be trusted. As a child, i didn't really understand why men said such things, but as i got older, things started clearing up. And yet, while i always agreed with the saying that most women (and people in general) can't be trusted, there've always been those rare few who made me feel differently. I guess they gave me faith in humanity, because if one honest person exists, there are bound to be more, right?

I'm sure most of you can relate to that. Most of us have someone we think we can trust: a girlfriend, an old friend, a relative, a parent. But what happens when you find out that one of those few people that you thought you could trust, is just like everybody else? That they lie too, and break promises, and when confronted, come up with even more lies to cover up the truth?

Contrary to what some of you may be thinking, no, i'm not talking about a girlfriend cheating on me. I'm talking about a female friend, the one person apart from members of my immediate family, whom i thought i could truly trust. She didn't betray me per se, and her actions didn't inflict any serious harm, but she broke a promise that i told her i took very seriously, and i warned her of what would happen if she did, and now it has.

Over the years, i've seen the worst of humanity. I've seen mothers betray sons. Sisters steal from brothers. Wifes and girlfriends cheat and lie to men they've claimed to love for months, years or even decades. And now this. So with all that said, can any of you honestly say that you can still truly trust a woman? Because i think i no longer can. If i can be so sure that someone is being honest with me, and end up being wrong, then i can never be sure of anyone but myself again.

 

[T.T. Boy]

In any relationship, the one who cares less is generally more trustworthy. For example, if you don't give a shyt about your gf while she's obsessed with you, who is more likely to cheat? To lie? To run off with somebody else on the drop of a hat?

In general, though, females are more selfish and will go to greater lengths to serve their own interests, often at the expense of another who might trust or even love them.

 

[Sexy_Malibu]

Originally posted by T.T. Boy
In any relationship, the one who cares less is generally more trustworthy. For example, if you don't give a shyt about your gf while she's obsessed with you, who is more likely to cheat? To lie? To run off with somebody else on the drop of a hat?

In general, though, females are more selfish and will go to greater lengths to serve their own interests, often at the expense of another who might trust or even love them.

I don't know if females are more selfish necessarily. In my experience, 99% of all guys I know have cheated on their girls. While only like 50% of the girls I know have cheated on their guys. Not that this in any way a scientific calculation. And I'm not saying that guys are more selfish either, that has just been my own personal experiences. I just think there are selfish people out there and you never really know who they are. I think it is more about what you said... whoever cares less.

 

[Julian]

In the words of Fox Mulder "TRUST NO ONE!!@#!@"

And thats real, people are always smiling to your face, just waiting for your downfall.

 

[Helter Skelter]

Sexy Malibu

I've never cheated on a girl, but that's just me.
I sleep better at night that way.
Sleeping is important

 

[Sexy_Malibu]

Originally posted by Helter Skelter
Sexy Malibu

I've never cheated on a girl, but that's just me.
I sleep better at night that way.
Sleeping is important

Well then I give you props. I've never cheated either. But so many people I know (male AND female) have. Makes me never want to be in a committed relationship ever again. Which is mainly why I am NOT in a committed relationship. I don't trust people.

 

[nan3109]

Meh, I used to cheat. But when you have someone you care about alot you just cant sleep at night (like you said).

But cheating makes you feel like you care less though.Which apparently is a good thing, I think...

 

[iqqi]

I'm sorry that happened to you, Krassus. Alot of people don't ever take the time out of their lives to think about what a good friend really is and most importantly how they can be one. So alot of the time people do not even know what their principles or values are. Sometimes we put unrealistic expectations on the ones we care the most about, and when they fail to meet those expectations we are crushed.

The other person is also crushed, because they probaly did not intend to hurt you, and do not understand how they did or what to do now. They can become angry and defensive. And if you make it seem like they will never be forgiven then they can become detached and unreachable.

I'd say this should be handled personally. You should talk to your friend in a very mature way, and not an argument.

Yes, you can trust. But anyone who is only human is going to disappoint or hurt you at some point. You have done it too. the question is are you good enough friends to work it out and learn?

I hope you can say yes.

 

[DJ_Dork]

NO

The biggest mistake I made in a former relationship was telling her about myself and stuff. I gave into AFC attitude.. DON'T IT'S NOT GOING TO IMPRESS HER OR SHOW HONESTY. Maybe when you're engaged/married you can start doing that but DAMN don't fall for the traps women put out to reveal your truths.

 

[Sir Jeffrey]

you can trust a woman to be a ho, that's about it.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Krassus
From a very early age, i've been hearing that women can never be trusted.

I will let you in on how trust really works. It you understand it now, great! If not, it will come to you once you come into yourself as a DJ.

Trust is NOT about the other person, trust really about you. When you think about it, trust is the your ability to be able to handle whatever the other person does. Being confident that you are strong enough to do so will enable you to trust and not worry about what could happen.

Now, knowing the three things that all women want (even if they do not know it) also helps, but that is another thread all together.

 

[SamePendo]

Malibu invades us!
Besides being a LIAR, Malibu is a FEMINIST!
My non-existant ego as a man has been hurt by your comments, AGAIN!


Girls cant be trusted, women can.

 

[ShortyBrown]

Re: Re: Can you truly trust a woman?

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
I will let you in on how trust really works. It you understand it now, great! If not, it will come to you once you come into yourself as a DJ.

Trust is NOT about the other person, trust really about you. When you think about it, trust is the your ability to be able to handle whatever the other person does. Being confident that you are strong enough to do so will enable you to trust and not worry about what could happen.

Now, knowing the three things that all women want (even if they do not know it) also helps, but that is another thread all together.

You're on the money again Francisco.

Trust is all about making the desicion to let someone in, and taking it from there. If the person hurts you, then it is as much on you have the strength to pick yourself up, learn and move on as it is the jerk who hurt you.

 

[Krassus]

Originally posted by iqqi
I'm sorry that happened to you, Krassus. Alot of people don't ever take the time out of their lives to think about what a good friend really is and most importantly how they can be one. So alot of the time people do not even know what their principles or values are. Sometimes we put unrealistic expectations on the ones we care the most about, and when they fail to meet those expectations we are crushed.

The other person is also crushed, because they probaly did not intend to hurt you, and do not understand how they did or what to do now. They can become angry and defensive. And if you make it seem like they will never be forgiven then they can become detached and unreachable.

I'd say this should be handled personally. You should talk to your friend in a very mature way, and not an argument.

Yes, you can trust. But anyone who is only human is going to disappoint or hurt you at some point. You have done it too. the question is are you good enough friends to work it out and learn?

I hope you can say yes.

Well said, really. She never got angry or defensive. She just kept apologizing over and over, which makes it so much harder to be mad at her... *sigh*

 

[Kodiac]

My friends (male and female) as well as past girlfriends say they are going to do something but never end up doing it - like braking promises, not keeping plans / dates etc etc..

I used to loose a lot of respect for people who did this, but, it seems like im the only one who DOESN'T do this.

If i make a promise, i will KEEP that promise.
If i say im going to do something, ill do it.
If im in the GF / BF stage of a relationship i wont cheat.

I only rely on myself these days and it's the only person i can really trust - i'd hope so ne way