Can you really CREATE attraction?

[Nighthawk]

I figured out a long time ago there are some women who will never be attracted to you no matter what. This is as true for George Clooney or Brad Pitt.

A master DJ can turn a tiny spark into a raging inferno, but creating a spark out of nothing is almost impossible and a waste of effort.

 

[Bonhomme]

That's a great post, Cod3r.

Made me thing of a post by Giovanni Casanova some time ago, in which he illustrated the point by mentioning this Italian restaurant he always went to and ate his favorite dish (I forget what it was, but I'll say linguine for the sake of the story). One day he went there and they were out of the linguine. So instead he ordered fetuccine instead ... and it was straight out of heaven, even better than the linguine ... so from then on, he usually ordered the fettucine.

Once they get a taste of something better than they're accustomed to ~~~

 

[Latinoman]

Cod3r,

Once again, as I told you before...no offense...she is 35 or 36 years old. The relationship will eventually end. She now wants babies? And she (at 35-36) preferred the "ghetto" type?

That woman has some serious issues.

 

[Cod3r]

LoL

^ ^ Once again no offense taken

she is 35 or 36 years old. The relationship will eventually end. She now wants babies? And she (at 35-36) preferred the "ghetto" type?

That woman has some serious issues.

Logically when I think about our relationship, I understand that it might come to a close at some point, but that's life, nothing to cry over. I don't think down the road and nor have I ever lead her on. I told her I haven't promised her anything for the future, just that I have emotions and feelings now and if she has other thoughts they are of her own making...

I don't put limits on my relationships, if at the right time when I'm ready to have children and get married I'm still with her and have same feelings, she'd be my #1 choice, but if at that time I'm not with her or I don't have same emotions we'll have parted ways by then. I told her the risks involved and she's willing to take them, so who am I to stop her right ?

--
She's a very interesting female, been through alot and has alot of issues, but i'm a pretty complicated person with my own issues, we work together and allow each other to be our messed up selves, very relaxing and stressless. We don't need to pretend we're perfect little people with perfect lives, we both know we've got issues and we admit them to each other everyday.

Made me thing of a post by Giovanni Casanova some time ago, in which he illustrated the point by mentioning this Italian restaurant he always went to and ate his favorite dish (I forget what it was, but I'll say linguine for the sake of the story). One day he went there and they were out of the linguine. So instead he ordered fetuccine instead ... and it was straight out of heaven, even better than the linguine ... so from then on, he usually ordered the fettucine.

Once they get a taste of something better than they're accustomed to ~~~

That's the most important thing i've learned. Women THINK they like certain things best because they haven't tried everything. That's why I preach to be YOURSELF. If you're skinny, be skinny (don't work out to pleae ppl) if you want to work out, work out for yourself, but not to impress and change your body-type to get females... If you're a nerd, be a nerd... Hot girls might find they like the nerdy guys better than the jocks and popular players once they see it, just be yourself and things work best for you... Most important lesson I've ever learned.


-Cod3r

 

[Vulpine]

Chemistry.... ?

"Chemistry" has been mentioned a couple times now, along with "attraction".

I've always giggled at the term "chemistry" as it is used in the Hallmark Dating realm. Women use it to describe compatability with interests, hobbies, likes/dislikes... basically mental alignment. Uh... no.

Chemistry is chemicals, attraction is a mental/emotional thing. I just explained my take on "chemistry" as it relates to a man and a woman last night... here it is:

You know when you meet some people, and you absolutely LOVE how they smell? Their hair, skin, even breath? You're smelling their chemicals. You've also met people whose smells repulse you, right?

Then, you meet a person, and you can't ever seem to be close enough. You want to be constantly touching them. Heck, you almost want to crawl into their clothes WITH them. On the other hand, there are the people who you just cant stand touching you... it makes your skin crawl.

Here is the biggest thing that defines "chemistry" for me: skin on skin contact. If you sleep with one person, and they have a hand on you or an arm across you, have you noticed that some people can leave them on you all night and others you can't stand for more than 2 minutes? Whatever it is, the PH of the skin or whatever, makes your skin creep out - almost like a burning or itching. Whereas some people can lay on you for hours, super sweaty - even nasty grimy dirty after a week in the woods - and you like it!? It feels great!?

So, that's chemistry to me. Whether you can sleep cuddled up and touching all night long comfortably, or, if you have to sleep on opposite sides of the bed because any skin contact will freak you out and you won't be able to fall asleep. I know you guys have noticed this, but not gave it much thought or made the connection to "chemistry".

Now, it's impossible to know whether your "chemistry" is good from the beginning, unfortunately, without lots of kino and close proximity. So it's obvious that attraction can be built, no doubt about it. But, when you discover your chemistry isn't good, you realize that you are already "pot committed" so to speak. I've fuxed more chicks with "bad chemistry" than "good chemistry". How? Built attraction. However, I've been an AFC in the past. I've been "settling" and "tolerating" the bad chemistry. I've just coped with a touch that nearly stings and breath that reeks just to get a nut off and be able to say "I have a GF". Duh.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Troops,


Just reread this thread. Wanted to give it a bump. I recently met a young 24 year old babe who saw me in passing only once before, but claimed to be attracted to me sexually initially thru my personality alone.

This is how she broke down her attraction scale to me:

70% personality (mostly thru my LENGTHY phone conversations with her...Don't tell DOC LOVE!!!! lol).

20% how I treated her on a date (she said that she feels like she's "WORTH" something when she's around me.)

10% looks (she only recently started talking about how "cute" she and her sisters think I am...lol)

I realize this could all be the infatuated musings of a young chick who's not used to older guys who give her good treatment. I have a certain amount of emotional shields up because, although she is really attracted to me, I realize she doesn't really KNOW me yet----nor do I know her too well.

BUT----the multiple orgasm I give her just by kissing her and talking to her tend to make me believe that she's DEFINITELY attracted to me sexually FOR REAL.

Having said that, I'm now wondering if this particular situation is more than just an anomaly.

QUESTION:

Should it matter to us if a woman is turned on to us "personally" first as opposed to physically first as long as it translates IMMEDIATELY into something sexual????

I say this because this chick basically almost raped me in a LOWE's parking lot the FIRST time we met face to face for over 5 minutes. Yes, it was that quick. There was none of that "warming up to me first" crap that I hate so much. The attraction was immediate because my personality seemed to have primed her pump...so to speak (she says...).

And so far it's been 3 dates and the sexual vibe has only gotten stronger. But nothing real deep going on intellectually or spiritually between us yet though so far as I can tell. So there's no telling how this'll play out down the line.

So I'm wondering is this a fluke or what? Again, should I REALLY care that it's my personality and voice that get's her hot EVEN MORE than my physical features??? Is this a RARE case where I should "get over" myself and just go with the flow???

Thoughts anyone?

 

[Le Parisien]

Just like attraction is not a choice, I believe you can not "artificiallly" create attraction if there's none.

If she doesn't like what she sees, she's not buying.

Many times, it's because you have not had the chance to show the parts of you that she actually likes. When things work out eventually over time, it's NOT because you've created attraction with some magic tricks or techniques, it's because she's finally seen something that she likes in you.

Sure you can always show "things" that actually aren't there in order to get into her pants, basically faking to be someone you are not, to have something you don't have.
But I think it doesn't work on the long run.

 

[Le Parisien]

A master DJ can turn a tiny spark into a raging inferno, but creating a spark out of nothing is almost impossible and a waste of effort.

Great analogy!!!