Can you land a girl that rejects you at first?

[mahoney]

It is possible, but usually only under one circumstance, and its not an active strategy

You have to STOP TRYING

You've behaved in a way which hasn't worked. So don't do that behaviour! And don't worry about 'friendzone'. Its not friendzone that is the problem, it is continuing to behave in a certain way by continuing to exhibit your interest in the same way

I've slept with girls that rejected me at first. After the initial rejection, I changed my attitude towards them, I liked them as people, they were fun, they became friends. I didn't think of them in a sexual way. I was in the friendzone, and so were they. Randomly would end up sleeping with them like 18 months later (this happened with maybe 3 girls)

The kicker of course is...you have to lose interest for this to happen, this isn't something you could (or should) plan. Because i was no longer pursuing them, I was more natural, and also I didn't 'want anything'

friendzone is sort of a myth - the problem with friendzone is when they think of you as a friend but you v obviously want them sexually, lopsided friendship. If you both think of each other as friends, the friendship isn't lopsided and stuff can often end up happening when you don't expect it

 

[woopwoop]

Yes and for me these used to be my favorite girls to bag. what a challenge. but it does take allot of ganji games and time. In fact I ran the ganji games in cycles even after i banged her to get her more intersted then me. It worked but looking back I'm wondering if it was worth all the time and energy.

 

[Maxtro]

It is possible, but usually only under one circumstance, and its not an active strategy

You have to STOP TRYING

You've behaved in a way which hasn't worked. So don't do that behaviour! And don't worry about 'friendzone'. Its not friendzone that is the problem, it is continuing to behave in a certain way by continuing to exhibit your interest in the same way

I've slept with girls that rejected me at first. After the initial rejection, I changed my attitude towards them, I liked them as people, they were fun, they became friends. I didn't think of them in a sexual way. I was in the friendzone, and so were they. Randomly would end up sleeping with them like 18 months later (this happened with maybe 3 girls)

Damn, that's a long-con.

I can't imagine being rejected by a girl, sticking around her for almost years then randomly getting with her.

 

[mahoney]

no, it isn't a long-con or any kind of con. this is the point. If it had been a con or i had been lusting after them, it wouldn't have happened

We just became friends is all, lots of people sleep with their friends from time to time or just as a one off. You've never slept with any of your friends? I stick around with lots of people, male and female, I have a lot of friends. Its good to have lots of different type relationships with different types of people, at different stages, and don't label things too much or worry about things too much

 

[bigneil]

Would this apply to a girl you meet who seems interested but when you ask if she is single you discover she has a boyfriend? In that case it certainly possible (I've done it).

Or is the belief that the girl lie to you and tell you she is single if she is really interested?

Is it possible to handle her telling you she has a boyfriend smoothly enough to raise her interest level? (i.e. C+F).

 

[PDubb75]

Would this apply to a girl you meet who seems interested but when you ask if she is single you discover she has a boyfriend? In that case it certainly possible (I've done it).

Or is the belief that the girl lie to you and tell you she is single if she is really interested?

Is it possible to handle her telling you she has a boyfriend smoothly enough to raise her interest level? (i.e. C+F).

There are a lot of cases where her having a b/f is just a slight road block. Obviously, that depends on the girl, the relationship, etc. But just because she says she has a b/f, that is no reason to simply walk away. I don't think this thread is referring to "b/f" cases.

And it sure is possible to raise her interest level from her telling you she has a b/f.

 

[bigneil]

(duplicate)

 

[Maxtro]

no, it isn't a long-con or any kind of con. this is the point. If it had been a con or i had been lusting after them, it wouldn't have happened

We just became friends is all, lots of people sleep with their friends from time to time or just as a one off. You've never slept with any of your friends? I stick around with lots of people, male and female, I have a lot of friends. Its good to have lots of different type relationships with different types of people, at different stages, and don't label things too much or worry about things too much

Definitely not.

When a girl rejects me it's usually game over and we stop talking. That's true for all but one girl that I've stayed "friends" with. And I would need super luck to sleep with her.

Though I don't have a lot of friends and primarily am a loner so my situation is very different from your own.

Let me guess, in the times that you randomly slept with a friend, was alcohol involved?

 

[loveshogun]

Read this entire post, and do not focus on any particular step. Remember the OVERALL flow of logic here.

1) You need to make changes to yourself because the girl is not at this point attracted to you

2) Are these changes that you want to make? Would these changes still make you happy if the girl didn't exist?

3) If the answer is yes, make those changes, and see what happens.

4) If the answer is no, find changes that you want to make in your life that have nothing to do with women, make those changes, and then make sure whoever you end up dating appreciates those changes.

See that? The priority is you. So, yes, you can get a girl who initially rejects you. I did that all the time in high school, and college. But, while I was making all these changes to impress these women, I found I was ignoring myself and what I wanted. And what I learned was that as much as I love the smell of p*ssy in the morning, I'm at my happiest when I'm happy with myself.

No woman can provide you with the respect you have to earn for yourself.

You can run and tell that, homeboy.

 

[mahoney]

Definitely not.

When a girl rejects me it's usually game over and we stop talking. That's true for all but one girl that I've stayed "friends" with. And I would need super luck to sleep with her.

Though I don't have a lot of friends and primarily am a loner so my situation is very different from your own.

Let me guess, in the times that you randomly slept with a friend, was alcohol involved?

Yes, to be fair situations do seem somewhat different. Should clarify that the friends i was talking about were initially friends of friends and part of a social circle, people you see at nights out periodically, so they tend to become friends regardless of anything that happens. Cutting people off that you are going to be seeing around isn't a good look! (and yes alcohol was involved, its the kind of scenario where there are 7 or 8 out of you out, and something might end up happening randomly, its not something you try for or think about, sometimes something just happens it feels nice why not?)

Your situation is a bit more 'all or nothing', something doesn't happen, there is no other connection to the girl, so pursuing a friendship instead isn't going to do you any favors as it isnt natural and organic (and actual friendship isn't something that is 'pursued'), it will never be a real friendship because you have an ulterior motive. walking away is the right thing to do in this case

You've highlighted your problem is the fact you say that you are a loner, you have no network of friends, I think this isn't such a good thing. most human connections, whether friendships, relationships, hookups, whatever - come through friends of friends, and the more connections you have - the less pressure you put on each one. And its good not just to have a lot of 'actual friends' but also a lot of 'lower level friends' or tangential friends, these are avenues and doors which are just there in the background can be explored naturally at any future time

 

[Maxtro]

Thanks for clearing things up mahoney. It gives me some things to think about.