Can you help me with this confusing flake situation

[CaConfused]

Long story short - date 2 we went on a day picnic. Good date. We made out at the end. Was also discussing some future things to do. This was last Sunday (8 days ago). I asked her out and we made plans for yesterday (Tuesday).

We also started a Words with Friends game. She beat me. I challenged her for two in a row,. and in the process, I told her if I win, she wears this slinky dress she told me about. She said if I win, I cook her dinner at home. OK

So she crushes me, and we're texting back and forth - I'm finding out what food she absolutely won't eat. All is good. Then Monday 8am I get this text

"Hey my brother is coming in tonight/ Hes having a little crisis and needed to leave - he'll be here the rest of the week. I'm sorry i have to cancel tomorrow night. "

I response "All good, keep in touch" an hour later.

I met her online.

Questions for you experts

- Is she BSing me. I want to say no, but she didn't offer an alternative time.
- Was my reply appropriate?
- Any other advice.

THANKS!

 

[spiegel549]

I am going through a similar situation right now which I was able to turn around. Not saying this situation will be the same but heres my opinion.

1.) If all your details are accurate and you didn't leave out that you texted/called her 100 times before the date and seemed overly needy then your response to her last minute bail was perfect.

2.) A woman that has high interest in you is going to counter offer if she cancels a date. If she says "Oh I have my brother visiting and this and that happened I need to cancel, but lets touch base next monday and get together!" Then good. If she just cancels, not so good.

3.) Your best bet is to go NC for a few days, and not contact her. You had a 2nd date, it was fun, seemed like you too hit it off, she canceled, you give her the benefit of the doubt. Wait a few days 5-6 days, see if SHE reaches out to you. Next week when her "brother is gone" call and try setting up another date. If she doesn't answer or bails, drop her.

Recently I drove to a girls house and as I was sitting outside she sends me a text canceling, I erased her number, and drove away. 5 days later she calls begging me to let her make it up to me. I literally said "If I do are you just going to flake again..." she kept trying to convince me. So I said "Fine but YOU come to me this time."

Had a few awesome dates and we screw every time since then..(even then, she can still flake anytime in the future)

Really at the end of the day, if HER interest in you is HIGH she will reach out, you won't need to play games, and follow all these rules because she will be perceptive to the next time you call to ask her out. Very importantly for right now bro, go NC for a few days like I said, if she doesn't reach out to you call her one last time and try setting up a date. If she bails, flakes, makes an excuse. Lose the number.

GL!

 

[J Roc]

She is getting fukked by one of the 100 guys that messaged her online last week.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

She is getting fukked by one of the 100 guys that messaged her online last week.

Pretty much agree with the above sentiment.

It is BS. She cancelled the day before and didn't counter-offer. Clearly low IL.

Delete her number and don't talk to her again unless she initiates contact, but don't hold your breath.

I had something similar happen to me, except her excuse was "errands". :crackup:

I just rolled my eyes. I knew it was BS and messaged her again a couple of days later just to test my instinct. She eventually tells me that she "just" met a guy and that it had nothing to do with cancelling last minute. Right.

Her self-righteousness knew no bounds in denying that she cancelled last minute with me over some other guy. So really....you just happened to cancel the day before and meet a guy within 48 hours? :crackup:

Save your time and never look back when a girl cancels the day before or worse yet, the day of.

 

[VladPatton]

Wait till the so called "brother situation" is done with. Then try to set up another date. Don't do the dinner thing, that's a past event she missed out on. If you hear nothing from her in the meantime, it doesn't look good, so just try one more time.

My theory is that the Words With Friends games and the various other texts killed things in the mean time. You left no time for infatuation to happen (providing she was interested of course).

Let us know how things evolve...good luck.

 

[NewAndImproved]

Going off of Vlad, not to be petty but you also lost the Words with Friends game and had to cook her dinner. I think the playful bet was a good instinct, but in the beginning I like to bet something that is a WIN WIN for me.

 

[ARrocket]

Sorry bro but every girl out there wants a man with a better vocabulary and more wiles than she has, when you lost those Words With Friends game, her pvssy just dried up for you.

But seriously, do this:

Wait till the so called "brother situation" is done with. Then try to set up another date. Don't do the dinner thing, that's a past event she missed out on. If you hear nothing from her in the meantime, it doesn't look good, so just try one more time.

But even more seriously, you should probably get better at Scrabble.

 

[Greasy Pig]

If spelling and vocabulary aren't your strong suits, don't play those games with women. If you come across as "dumb" (no offence OP), a woman's interest is likely to drop quickly.
Play to your strengths!

 

[CaConfused]

Guys, thanks for the advice.

But one thing: I am a very good Words With Friends player. She just happens to be world class.

Update - she just played another turn in our game. She waited a very long time to do so.
My next turn will end the game. Should I just drop it and never play?

 

[Trump]

So she crushes me, and we're texting back and forth - I'm finding out what food she absolutely won't eat. All is good. Then Monday 8am I get this text

"Hey my brother is coming in tonight/ Hes having a little crisis and needed to leave - he'll be here the rest of the week. I'm sorry i have to cancel tomorrow night. "

I response "All good, keep in touch" an hour later.

I met her online.

Questions for you experts

- Is she BSing me. I want to say no, but she didn't offer an alternative time.
- Was my reply appropriate?
- Any other advice.

THANKS!

When you make a bet with a girl, you should be interacting with her face to face. Playing games over the internet doesn't turn her on...she could be playing with her brother for all she cares.

Your reply was too weak. Why keep in touch? Just say "OK, have a good night". Anything more could be interpreted as emotion or weakness.

 

[BeDJ]

1) Have you kissed this chick yet or how far did you escalate?

2) Why are you playing Words with Friends with her?

3) All she needs to do is wear a nice dress and you cook dinner, did my betalarm go off?

You entered a lose lose situation by playing this game with her. If you win, she won't like it, if you lose she has this sense of dominance over you. The wager was pretty weak on your end, as well.

Take it for what it is, I guaranteed you didn't excite her enough during the dates and she DOES NOT have interest in you sexually. You are her Scrabble Pal....maybe you guys will go to a tournament in Vegas while she is getting.........

 

[CaConfused]

1 - We've made out on each of our two dates.
2 - Playing Words with Friends because during our second date she mentioned how good she was at it. I'm also pretty good, so we challenged each other on the spot.

Regarding about my challenge being weak. You'd have to read the context about her texting me about the sexy dress she bought for a gallery opening -- so the black dress on the bet fell into the ****y/funny when I said it.

I plan on not responding on the Words with Friends - it's funny because my turn will be the last one, and the game will just hang there.

 

[thevilittletroll]

this is why i stay away from meeting girls online. you get 100% more flakes online than you do if you meet them in a bar or in public. they cant hide body language. back to your situation, its one of or a combination of both, she has 100 other options of guys she's meeting online. #2 you didnt escalate past kissing on your 2nd date. she wanted to go further and showed beta low confidence behavior which turned her off. never be afraid to be aggressive and cross the line from time to time. it will get you laid more times than not.

 

[CaConfused]

Our date was in a park / brunch during daytime. She wanted the night before, but I had plans. We had a hard cutoff, so I dont think escalation was an option, though I won't rule out your feedback.

 

[CaConfused]

I am going through a similar situation right now which I was able to turn around. Not saying this situation will be the same but heres my opinion.

1.) If all your details are accurate and you didn't leave out that you texted/called her 100 times before the date and seemed overly needy then your response to her last minute bail was perfect.

2.) A woman that has high interest in you is going to counter offer if she cancels a date. If she says "Oh I have my brother visiting and this and that happened I need to cancel, but lets touch base next monday and get together!" Then good. If she just cancels, not so good.

3.) Your best bet is to go NC for a few days, and not contact her. You had a 2nd date, it was fun, seemed like you too hit it off, she canceled, you give her the benefit of the doubt. Wait a few days 5-6 days, see if SHE reaches out to you. Next week when her "brother is gone" call and try setting up another date. If she doesn't answer or bails, drop her.

Recently I drove to a girls house and as I was sitting outside she sends me a text canceling, I erased her number, and drove away. 5 days later she calls begging me to let her make it up to me. I literally said "If I do are you just going to flake again..." she kept trying to convince me. So I said "Fine but YOU come to me this time."

Had a few awesome dates and we screw every time since then..(even then, she can still flake anytime in the future)

Really at the end of the day, if HER interest in you is HIGH she will reach out, you won't need to play games, and follow all these rules because she will be perceptive to the next time you call to ask her out. Very importantly for right now bro, go NC for a few days like I said, if she doesn't reach out to you call her one last time and try setting up a date. If she bails, flakes, makes an excuse. Lose the number.

GL!

Alright. I have done NC for 5-6 days. I am going to call her tomorrow and ask her out for maybe Wednesday or something.

Looking back, it's just weird. She was texting me a lot. Even texted me on a Sat night to see if I was back in town from Chicago. It's weird