Can you have too much going for you? Does that hurt?????

[John_Smith]

Hi,

Lately I've been a bit pissed. Nothing with women seems to work, I've gotten sick of "short term benefits" type relationships and I wanted to settle down. But for a whole month nothing is working out.

It seems every friend I hang out with has a hot girlfriend except me. Of all people, I have the most going considering my age. While still in colllege, I am CEO of a 20 person company, been numerous of media interviews (I don't even care if I get another interview), and have connections to many prominent people (e.g. local United Way CEO, Children's Aid Society and the city mayor are clients/friends of mine) in the community, etc.
I'm at least in the upper range in terms of looks (at least an >8). I don't smoke, drink or have any terrible habits. I don't go out a lot because I work long hours but I'm fairly well humored and fun to be around (when I'm not trying to act professional).

You'd think I'd need a gun to keep girls away or something lol. Well, some women like me from to time, but I can't say im fully satisfied.

Why is it some others with much less going and aren't any more attractive than I am have hot gfs. Why am I the only one still single??????

I've made some first moves but meh, short term relationships I seem to luck out on, steady gf just never seems to happen.

I completely don't get why, is this just luck????? People do find me attractive, but relationships just never work out.

 

[Enigma412]

I feel your pain. Great question. I have been pondering the same thing lately.

I would assume that as we get older, i.e. late 20's, our stock should rise as we become more valuable to women looking to settle down. Still, I don't see why others with a lot less going for them, far less qualities are doing better with women even during our college years.

 

[John_Smith]

well i can't really say "doing far better". It's just i'm not looking for the same thing I was looking for before.

I just wanted to you know before. That isn't even hard actually, even if they have some kind of bf back home.

Right now I want to settle down but it just aint working. Anyone I have my eye for seems to not like me back. Anyone that likes me I cant like (sad but I even tried).

So all in all my complaint is friends with way less going for them have hot gfs and I dont.

 

[IsiMan84]

Well being at this age, most of us are still looking for cheap thrills and such. Kinda like how the older guy who hangs around the high school is considered cool until everyone else gets to a certain age. I see plenty of guys in college who I know will go nowhere but still get women. If they can offer what she wants for the moment then that's how it will be. I presume when you are in your mid to late 20's it will be a completely different story, once most of the women exit that stage and decide what they really want in life. Just my 2 cents.

 

[Syren]

Attraction isn't a choice and is a tool that a man can learn. What ever your school of seduction, depending how deep you are into The Game, you can learn and can change your social life just as you have your professional life.

 

[IsiMan84]

Oh yea, the worldly possessions and social status you have shouldn't be the bulk of the argument. The type of person you are should be a big factor too.

 

[Potbelly]

Check out the DJ Bible my friend. Perhaps you are giving in too easily. Also, remember that relationships don't work the first time around a lot, you gotta keep trying.

 

[John_Smith]

Well being at this age, most of us are still looking for cheap thrills and such. Kinda like how the older guy who hangs around the high school is considered cool until everyone else gets to a certain age. I see plenty of guys in college who I know will go nowhere but still get women. If they can offer what she wants for the moment then that's how it will be. I presume when you are in your mid to late 20's it will be a completely different story, once most of the women exit that stage and decide what they really want in life. Just my 2 cents.

Thanks, I don't have a problem "getting women". Well, its just I actually wanted a LTR for a while but it just doesn't work out.

 

[JPFromTally]

Change where you are trying to meet women in the first place. That's probably your problem. Take out a blank sheet of paper and write down what you imagine your dream girl to be. What does she look like? What is her personality like? Where would be the most likely place to meet her? Hope this helps.

 

[Wyldfire]

What are you doing when you see or meet a woman you'd like to get to know better? Are you just waiting for her to do something or are you taking the initiative and actually trying to move things along?

 

[John_Smith]

well, attraction and all that isn't a problem for me. But, meh, I just wanted a LTR for once, maybe just not the time.

 

[undesputable]

if you cant keep a girl for a long time is because you cant keep her guessing on whats coming next, so basically im going to venture to say that you do the same routine more often than you should. i think you just need a little depth in your personality when it comes to women. I agree with you, you got a lot going for you, maybe that could be a reason youre scaring away girls. I mean do you always talk about yourself, are you always direct and say things straight to the point? what im trying to say is to concentrate on the girl more than on yourself, keep things vague and dont reveal your feelings so easily...you should know this stuff.

 

[AudiTy]

You just need to try something new. You can't go doing the same thing and expect different results. If you have tried something different, and it still doesn't work, you're not doing it right. So do it till you get results or move on. Whatever this certain thing is, it may be image, attitude, techniques...don't give up results will come soon enough.

 

[ShizamDaMan]

Persist a bit more. It sounds like you have so much going for you, that girls may be a little intimidated by your success. Show them you're still a down to earth guy, and I think you'll be on the right path.

Seriously, pursue until you are flat out rejected. Rinse and repeat. Maybe play things more slowly. If you hook up with a girl after knowning her for 5 hours, she probably isn't thinking of you in boyfriend terms.

 

[IsiMan84]

Thanks, I don't have a problem "getting women". Well, its just I actually wanted a LTR for a while but it just doesn't work out.

Well when I said "getting women" I meant in any sense. But if you say you are looking for a LTR, you won't know it's one until it's actually long-term haha. I would have to agree with some of the people above though, if you are a business oriented person I would assume you are a routine-type person. You might want to change things up a little bit. Another thing, I don't really know too much about your target crowd. That would also make a bit of a difference.

 

[syemour]

your problem is that you rate yourself on the tangible things you have and that others dont. that is where you are failing.

so you are saying that since you have more your are entitled to having your choice of hot women? any women worth having in your life will not want you becuase of the car you drive.

 

[BuckwildNYC]

I have the same problem and I think it stems from our logical minds. We think that if we do a,b,and c, then we will get d as a result. If we want a Dodge Viper, we work, save our money, and go down to the dealership, pick a color and drive off. Well women don't work this way. You can't just hand them your resume and expect them to fall all over you.

On the surface it may seem like women want guys with money and fancy cars and good-looks. But above anything else women want to make a connection with someone that they feel is very special. Now you may be special cause you visit your grandma every Sunday and bring her flowers, or you are a single dad and take your son to little league games 3 times a week.

Of course there are guys with money and fancy clothes who have hot girls. But there are also tons of guys who live with their parents and lay around the beach all day and they have hot girls too. I also know guys who drive around in blinged out cars and can't get laid to save their lives.

Ultimately you have to be able to make girls feel good about themselves and about you. If you really think hard I can guarantee that you are not doing this. Your too busy thinking about how much money you make and how these women who are in school or making 10 dollars an hour should be falling at your feet. How can these women who have nothing not appreciate what a rich and powerful guy you are. Well they don't apreciate it because they think with their hearts and not with their minds like we do. If you can't get in touch with her heart then you will NEVER get in touch with whats in her panties. As I'm telling you this I'm telling myself too cause I many times feel exactly as you do. It takes some time but hopefully we'll both "get it" soon.

 

[IsiMan84]

That's a really good explanation of what I was saying about the worldly possessions not mattering so much. I think it sums everything up right there.

 

[BuckwildNYC]

Thanks man................. I'm 31 years old and I think I'm finally starting to put the pieces of the puzzle together as to why some men are successful with women and some are not. The ONLY common piece to all guys who are successful with women is that they know how to make people FEEL good.