Can you get the power back after turning AFC?

[PoZest]

If you've been on dates and slept with a girl etc. but she begins to flake on dates and text less often.
I've know this girl 3 years and been going out with her for 2 and a half months now (thanks to advice on here) but the first two months we hooked up too much probably, saw her 40 out of 60 days, some days was only for an hour or so but had sex often and both had a good time. She says I love you first after about a month and a half, (seems a bit soon but we've been good friends for a while before dating) it then became a thing we'd text I love you every night.

I felt I was becoming an AFC here overtexting and trying initiating dates too much, and asked to see her when she was busy and got rejected a few times. We have now gone a week without seeing each other and I know she knows she can do what she wants now and I will stop everything to spend time with her. We do text daily but its normally me first and me asking what shes upto and things like that.

Is there a way I can get a little bit of power back here because towards the beginning it would be her cancelling plans with friends to go out for a drive with me instead etc. Now she doesn't do that and even says things like shes tired or going to the gym etc. I know she gets a lot of male attention already, especially on nights out, but I don't think there is another guy or anything like that. I think its down to her chase being over...

Do I go NC completely to see if SHE asks to meet up? Do I call her on her flakiness? Ask her what has happened to us? Probably not but I think I need some hard hitting advice y'all

 

[BrownBear]

NC till she asks

 

[PoZest]

NC till she asks

I think this is going to be good advice, however should I be worried that she doesn't ask for some reason? I normally date 6's but this ones a hb8.5/9 hence my oneitis, and I don't want to lose this.

 

[BrownBear]

I think this is going to be good advice, however should I be worried that she doesn't ask for some reason? I normally date 6's but this ones a hb8.5/9 hence my oneitis, and I don't want to lose this.

No you shouldn't and the bold part is the reason why

 

[Fly By Night]

You noticed bad behavior from her and your gut is sounding the alarm. You guys went from seeing each other all the time to a whole week without contact. Maybe she just needs time off, which is why you should go NC. On the other hand...

I know she gets a lot of male attention already, especially on nights out, but I don't think there is another guy or anything like that.

You don't know, and you'll never find out until she cuts it off and she "coincidentally" meets another guy within a week. Only way to get some power back is to stop being so available. Isn't that like a DJ law? "Never be too available"? If you don't already, find other things to do with your time, a hobby or making new friends. Honestly, effing women is just a surge of dopamine to the limbic system. Find other things to give you your dopamine. (just not illegal drugs or something)

I, for one, am against bad behavior from women, so if I were to see this I would just go NC and have her come back to me. If she doesn't... Then I guess she doesn't have that much interest anymore.

 

[PoZest]

Thanks. No text from her today, which is the longest I've gone without hearing from her. Maybe I was doing all the work here. I will stay NC, however what would you recommend if it goes on for a while, would she be thinking I don't care about her or something?

 

[BrownBear]

Thanks. No text from her today, which is the longest I've gone without hearing from her. Maybe I was doing all the work here. I will stay NC, however what would you recommend if it goes on for a while, would she be thinking I don't care about her or something?

There is no rules. If you think you can handle all the headaches, go ahead and do what you feel like.

To me, the fact that you have to post a thread on this website to ask for help means that this thing is a little too much for you.

Remember that we do not understand your situation

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

There is no rules. If you think you can handle all the headaches, go ahead and do what you feel like.

To me, the fact that you have to post a thread on this website to ask for help means that this thing is a little too much for you.

Remember that we do not understand your situation

Yeah dude. But really, she's playing your a$$. Once a girl 9 to 10 range totally has a guy....she moves on. It's like physics, once the water reaches a certain temperature it begins to boil. They're loony. She'll just end up with some douche who knows how to play her a$$. It doesn't matter what he's got, she's so used to every guy falling to his knees that she's going to go with the one guy that doesn't. Even if he's an ugly broke dumbass....I've seen it happen.

 

[r0cky]

First accept that you have an Afc mindset. Second do the opposite of what your mind tells you to do.

This is the reason why most guys will stay as Afc's, because they will never follow the above steps.

 

[PoZest]

I'm doing this guys, I haven't spoke or text for nearly two days now. What if I text her saying something like I don't want to meet up with you anymore because you obviously don't want to.? just to make sure. Or is that a bad idea?

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

I'm doing this guys, I haven't spoke or text for nearly two days now. What if I text her saying something like I don't want to meet up with you anymore because you obviously don't want to.? just to make sure. Or is that a bad idea?

I'm going to quote someone else from another thread:

"Nothing would be more AFC "

EDIT: I had to re-read this thread, sometimes with all of these one-ituses it gets confusing, and yes I've had it too. This guy spelled it out pretty well:

You noticed bad behavior from her and your gut is sounding the alarm. You guys went from seeing each other all the time to a whole week without contact. Maybe she just needs time off, which is why you should go NC. On the other hand...

You don't know, and you'll never find out until she cuts it off and she "coincidentally" meets another guy within a week. Only way to get some power back is to stop being so available. Isn't that like a DJ law? "Never be too available"? If you don't already, find other things to do with your time, a hobby or making new friends. Honestly, effing women is just a surge of dopamine to the limbic system. Find other things to give you your dopamine. (just not illegal drugs or something)

I, for one, am against bad behavior from women, so if I were to see this I would just go NC and have her come back to me. If she doesn't... Then I guess she doesn't have that much interest anymore.