Can you be a good DJ/PUA whilt in an LTR?

SoulStarMan

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I want to learn to be a good PUA/DJ but am in an LTR.
How can I achieve this without being "caught"?!
 

Bad_Lil'Pixie

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SoulStarMan said:
I want to learn to be a good PUA/DJ but am in an LTR.
How can I achieve this without being "caught"?!
I just have to ask, WHY?

Just end it and move on.

Why would you remain in a less then satisfying relationship until you can move to another? It is ok to be single and "work in progress", you could focus better, hyper study your techniques and fully devote your time to the goals you have.

Why try to balance self improvement with deceit? To me, they sort of void each other out.

Rule one to becoming a PUA/DJ: Be true to yourself, bow to no one (especially a sub-standard LTR) and grow some balls.

Oh, and welcome to the forum.
 

ElChoclo

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There are a limited number of morally acceptable arrangements on this forum. MLTRs where the women all agree to form your harem. UniLTR where you have just one regularly. A series of bonks with no obligation. Marriage/de facto.

The other type where you are the double life fiend is frowned upon. Deceit is off the menu here as some members feel it is bad karma. However they do let you be a DJ with your LTR, maybe you could tell her you're the prize, just mutter some mantra like that and your skills will grow.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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You have 2 choices. You can either get out of your LTR now, or you can begin to develop your DJ mindset with your current LTR and use these skill on her. You will not, however, be a PUA within the confines of a monogamous relatinship (for any length of time anyway), due to the fact that in all likelihood your LTR wont put up with it and also because YOU yourself will limit your own progression in these skills out of an unconscious sense of dedication to your LTR. In other words, the first time you 'cheat' and get burned by your target, you'll whimper back to the security of your LTR and actaully be in a worse position of supplication.
 

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Bad_Lil'Pixie

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ElChoclo said:
There are a limited number of morally acceptable arrangements on this forum. MLTRs where the women all agree to form your harem. UniLTR where you have just one regularly. A series of bonks with no obligation. Marriage/de facto.

The other type where you are the double life fiend is frowned upon. Deceit is off the menu here as some members feel it is bad karma. However they do let you be a DJ with your LTR, maybe you could tell her you're the prize, just mutter some mantra like that and your skills will grow.
I didn't mean to come off sounding accusing or self-righteous, my reply wasn't geared to morals or ethics, it was geared toward goal meeting.

Obviously, Soul's goal is to "spin plates", "pull ass", or at least make a change. So why blend his new goals with worries about alibi's and getting "caught". Just go for it.....

I can not think of ANY REASON whatsoever for a person to settle for a less then satisfying relationship. Why do so many people (men and women) get sucked into the "I guess this is better then nothing" state??? I would rather have peace and simplicity alone, then turmoil and complexities with another.

Soul could end it, be single and then focus 100% on his goals and not have to divide his time between experimenting and covering his tracks.
 

SoulStarMan

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Cool.
Thanks for the replies guys.
I guess I need to think about what goals I have here, if any other than those already mentioned!

I think I'm initially approaching this from the view point of can I still do this?
I've been out of the game for a while now and want to know if I can attract the ladies! Im really loving the whole Seduction, SS, ASF etc techniques and want t get more into it but I don't really know to what end yet!

Hmmmmm.
Thinking time ahead! :up:
 

WestCoaster

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Here's the bottom line what the initial poster and other guys who bring this up are afraid to admit: They are chicken sh-t to break up with their gf because of a woman's tears and the drama; and because they can't handle the fact of being alone. That's what it is and always has been on this board.

If not, they'd just break up, play the field and have fun doing so. But they're little boys who have to have the comforts of "mommy" (an LTR) and are afraid to leave that.

They're just like pro athletes and rock stars, who in no way should be married but need "mommy."

God, when is someone just going to publically admit they want to play the field, sleep around, have fun doing it without feeling ashamed or guilty about breaking up with "mommy?"
 

SoulStarMan

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lol.
Great words WestCoaster.
However, I genuinely do care for my LTR. I don't particularly want the relationship to end. I like it. My last post refers, I just want to brush up on some techniques. Nights out etc, hanging out around town you never know when you might be faced with an opportunity to play the game.
 

WestCoaster

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Well, if you like your LTR, stay in it. If you decide that brushing up on your techniques is more important than developing your LTR, get out of it.

Most every decision we make in life comes with a consequence. The men and women who "want it all" are dreaming. Nothing in life is like that.

Sounds like you want to be a bachelor with no strings attached. Be that bachelor then. You really can't have it both ways.

However, if you want to have it both ways, toss the idea by your gf and see how she feels about it. A relationship built on deception really isn't a relationship at all.

Sorry, but in regards to LTRs and marriages, it's either or ... that is if you want to live a life of integrity and not be a 60-year old lounge lizard in the future with too much aftershave and gold chains around your neck embarrassing yourself.

Reading this board, I'm amazed at how men can't make quality, strong, ethical decisions regarding their lives. And I think a quality decision could be proclaiming one is going to be single and play around -- it's just that the men in this country are afraid to admit it. Our country has become femanized mostly because men have allowed it to be so.

Just be a man and make one of the two decisions and live with the sacrifices and consequences.
 

Latinoman

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From my perspective...a man should always be a "DJ" regardless if he is married or single.

In my eyes, "DJ" is more of a lifestyle and has little to do with "picking women" and more to do on how to be a Real "M"an in today's society (or a Masculine Self). So, it expands to your life at work, etc.


PUA? That's another thing. That's more of picking women. Now...a DJ that has no commitment should know how to behave around women and how to pick the correct woman. But if you are committed to your girlfriend and wife, then you should focus on your DJ part (masculinity).

Incidentally, I have read about "pick up artists" in here and other places. And I'm sure their stuff work but with a certain type of women (slutty, etc.). Very rarely their technique would work with the more professional/intelligent/down to earth type of woman...unless some of that technique is used by men that are ALREADY experience as a DJ (e.g. on how to deal with women). That's why many married men are succesful with women...they are confident and they already know how to deal with women. Well...some of them men.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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WestCoaster said:
Here's the bottom line what the initial poster and other guys who bring this up are afraid to admit: They are chicken sh-t to break up with their gf because of a woman's tears and the drama; and because they can't handle the fact of being alone. That's what it is and always has been on this board...
BRAVO! :up:

I'll even add that most guys don't truly know a good thing when they have it because they had never taken the time to define what a good thing is to them. This is why they always feel that they can do better, what ever "better" may be; they don't know, they've haven't yet defined "good!"
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Latinoman said:
From my perspective...a man should always be a "DJ" regardless if he is married or single.

In my eyes, "DJ" is more of a lifestyle and has little to do with "picking women" and more to do on how to be a Real "M"an in today's society (or a Masculine Self). So, it expands to your life at work, etc.
:up: SPOT ON!!! :up:
 

WestCoaster

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I would agree with Francisco here, I've stayed with women I shouldn't have ever been with and let good ones slip away. Also correct is that most men don't know who a "good" woman is. They get some good sex and think that's good. I'll bet if you asked a group of men what a good woman is or the qualities of a good partner and/or wife, they'd have no freaking clue how to define it.

The same goes for women. I've asked women why they picked a certain guy and 99 percent of the time was he was "funny" or "made me laugh" only to find his jokes are old after a year of being together. Hey, if you want to date a comedian, great, but there should be other qualities.

I can't speak for the rest of the world, but the U.S. is teeming with idiots right now.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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WestCoaster said:
...I can't speak for the rest of the world, but the U.S. is teeming with idiots right now.
Agreed.
 

Victory Unlimited

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Yeah, I agree that the definition of DJ that most people subscribe to on this form is he is a man that embraces his masculinity.

He does not relinquish control of his manhood to other men, so he will definitely NOT turn over the controls of his life to a woman.

I believe that being a PUA tactics have their place in the beginning of gaming a girl.

Then, the game changes to the point where DJ tactics are needed to boost the girl's interest levels to the point where she desires an LTR with you.

Then, lastly, the game changes to a long term situation where you have learned to internalize your DJism to the point where it has become your natural way of behaving.

And when you have learned to adjust and calibrate your behavior to fit any relationship situation or crisis, then you have become A MAN.

And every REAL woman wants and prefers to have a MAN in her life.



Peace...one day.
 
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