Can we start acting like MM & MW please

[Latinoman]

My place is on the 14th floor of a highrise, downtown, surrounded by bars and clubs. they were parked a couple of blocks away. It would have been a HUGE deal for them to leave, cops everywhere. I don't blame them for crashing....it was the smart thing to do. It was just one of those nights.

I hated the damn stairs and stuff in the townhouse, but damn if it didn't have its advantages!

LADIES and GENTLEMEN!

Go and pick ANY of the bars located near STR8UP building! And drink as much as you can. Do not worry about driving or the risk of a DUI. After all...our good friend STR8UP can always host a party for the remaining of the night...and we simply can crash in his place. Let's find who is the hottest chick in the pack and sent her to him!

Hahaha. Dude...you are being played and used. Wake up!

 

[Interceptor]

When threads tend to be completely subjective and about ME directly, I try to stay out of them. How can I be objective? Ok well I can, but obviously the OP isn't, so... carry on!

And, thanks to the men who aren't afraid to speak up on my behalf. The singling out does tend to be... alarming. Not to me... it speaks more of the ones doing it! For anyone who is concerned about how I feel when these "evil iqqi" threads pop up... it doesn't bother me. I know how far ppl have to go, if they ever go anywhere else than where they are now.


For the record... I try not to call anyone a pvssy anymore, I let others do that. (And they do!) But I will still call it how I see it. Always. IT IS WHAT IT IS, partners!

Iqqi, I guess it's the fact that you're a female. The stance you sometimes have in some of your post may not alwasy be very encouraging or considerate or friendly in tone or content.
I know you already know that.

It's not that any men are 'intimidated' or afraid, or "overly sensitive".

It's that most men just don't take kindly to females criticizing them.

I know that many men come here to be heard by and hear men.
And many men have no problems assessing themselves in front of other men.

Now, I do appreciate women's presence in the forum. Absolutely.
No question.
But some men don't.
And often if a female is pretty unapologetic about her nitpicking and fingerpointing and sometimes shaming and emasculating attitude, then we can't blame any of the men with objecting to it.



Sometimes I think back and recall some people whom I have known, and remember them being ass holes. But in their mind, they say 'they're just honest." But that is just bull sh*t.
They equate being an ass hole with being HONEST.
In reality, what they are really doing is rationailzing their coarse and abrasive behavior with something supposedly virtuous.



I am sure you know all this, but I am just putting this out ther as food for thought.(I know your slogan is [/I]"Don't hate in '08." Right?)
We have often seen threads turn into flame wars when you have contributed.
Maybe we have to ask ourselves..WHY?
(and for the record, I like when you bring a truly different and femenine perspective to threads, and when they are insightful and very helpful. I appreciate that very much. I also appreciate the other women's contributions, like Penkitten and Lovely Lady, both very thoughtful, articulate, and definitely well meaning.)


While I know any retaliation doesn't get to you, there's no reason ANY ONE shoudl be 'retaliating' against YOU , or any other member for that matter. IF we are civilized and cool with each other, like friends.
But I guess it is hard for friends to be venomous with each other.
And it seems pretty easy to be detached and lay into someone under the pretense of being 'helpful and honest' when in reality it is merely venting anger and frustration at some one anonymously for gratification.

So it is pretty easy to be 'thick skinned' when we have absolutely no emotional investment or true notion of friendship or considerate and helpful interest, it is EASY to be an ass hole when you really don't care about them in the first place.


Which if the internet is not RL per se, and some people don't consider online friends as REAL friends, hence, how easy it is for them to be so emotionaly detached and act unconcernedly. So many times , people don't take other people online seriously at all, or even consider them human and real.
Spitting venom is easy when one is anonymous and is not concerned with the feelings of others, as we're all well aware.

But it is also weird as to why would anyone offer help to people who don't technically 'exist' to them, as they have no emotional investment.
At least it is a little perplexing to me.

I write this in the spirit of the OP. The notion of getting along and acting maturely, and recognizing the high character and the ability to act with the Higher Self.
I'm not demeaning anyone, including you with this reply.
This is merely some food for thought. So we can carefully self examine our behavior and especially our TRUE Intent.

So again, I'm not pointing fingers, and for the record, I have no beef with you, Iqqi. And you know that.
You know how I feel about you , even though you haven't answered my Salsa night offer.


lol :crackup:

So in the Spirit of the threads Intention. this is just my way of helping anyone concerned to take a minute and look at themselves,and see if what I am saying applies to you, or not.
IF so, then cool, examine why and try to correct it using High Character.
IF not, very cool, this does not apply to you then.


Peace, today, friends.
There is often little to go around nowadays.......

Interceptor

 

[iqqi]

Iqqi, I guess it's the fact that you're a female.
The stance you sometimes have in some of your post may not alwasy be very encouraging or considerate or friendly in tone or content.
I know you already know that.

Actually almost every first post I make to a thread is indeed considerate and friendly, and I keep in mind how sensitive certain ppl can get here. However, when a response to my post is negative and insulting or abrasive... I can get that way right back, and I will repeat what I said the first time, maybe without sugarcoating.

Some people tend to take my disagreements as being unfriendly or inconsiderate simply because

Iqqi, I guess it's the fact that you're a female.

As a matter of fact I tend to deflect most personal comments and attacks on me with humor and teasing...

It's not that any men are 'intimidated' or afraid, or "overly sensitive".

It's that most men just don't take kindly to females criticizing them.

I know that many men come here to be heard by and hear men.
And many men have no problems assessing themselves in front of other men.

Now, I do appreciate women's presence in the forum. Absolutely.
No question.
But some men don't.
And often if a female is pretty unapologetic about her nitpicking and fingerpointing and sometimes shaming and emasculating attitude, then we can't blame any of the men with objecting to it.

I don't think I nitpick and fingerpoint.

I do what everyone else does on this forum.

I point things out... but I guess that is the male description. When a woman does it, it is finger pointing. Lol.


I also disagree and offer a different viewpoint when I feel it is necessary... or is that a man's logical argument? AKA a woman's nitpicking??

And you are 100% correct... I am not apologetic about what I point out, or my viewpoints... if I was truly apologetic, that would mean I was sorry about it... so why would I say it in the first place. ?

It is obvious that it is really

the fact that you're a female.

For some men here, yeah, I guess criticism from a woman can be like a slap in the face... but that is being overly sensitive, all because

Iqqi, I guess it's the fact that you're a female.

Which is just silly.

Some of you need to open your minds.



NOW, for your way of saying things, Interceptor, and mine...

When you surround what you are really saying with lengthy parts and pieces about how we are friends and you have nothing against me... to me that is sugarcoating, and also passive aggressive, and you could just give me the salt without the sugar.

If you have a valid criticism about me, I don't need to hear the "we are friends" part before and after what you are really saying, because I am going to address what you said, not our relationship based on what was said.

I notice a lot of that babying going on, before a poster says what they really mean. I also notice that a lot of things said behind closed doors (PM's) are delivered with more sugar than salt when said publicly. To me, this is ok for some to do, but comes across as contrived and almost even false depending on the extent, and it isn't my way.

I choose humor to build most of my bridges, not sugar. To me humor is real and substantial, while sugarcoating and passive aggressive compliments followed by criticism, is insubstantial and not really true.

Sometimes criticism can be taken very badly, and like I said, that is when I will try to say something nicely first, with maybe some humor as well.

I can see why it is done, but I hate when it is done to me, and I also for that reason cannot do it to others. Some people will appreciate that about me, while others will continue to feel insulted when I don't deliver my punches with a soft hand, since I guess I should since

Iqqi, I guess it's the fact that you're a female.

 

[ketostix]

iqqi you're just like wyldfire, maybe worse. She would post in every thread and grate people the wrong way and then say, "People get mad at me just because I'm a female". No, they get mad at you because you're annoying and so are a lot of things you say. Take responsibility for your own unattractive personality and stop blaming others. Oh that's right you're a female-that means you can't take responsibility.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Iqqi, is corect - if she was a man then most guys here would accept her comments freely without consternation. I can imagine what guys would think of her if she said the harsh reality that I speak!! I take it that many here have little sense of humor and wit and thus see her comments as abrasive to the issue - but surprisingly, she does have humor and wit - a masculine trait, albeit a human trait - so dudes take offense to this coming from a woman.

But there is a lesson here, for iqqi and the rest. We see iqqi, or any professed female here, as a woman. and thus expect a certain behavior or language from such a specimen, but when that language is incongruent with what we deem as feminine characteristics then we see such talk as out of character or abrasive. So iqqi, expect retribution from guys when they see you as something other than what you should be! No, we're not pigeon holing you into a stereotype - it is just the natural order of things!

 

[iqqi]

iqqi you're just like wyldfire, maybe worse. She would post in every thread and grate people the wrong way and then say, "People get mad at me just because I'm a female". No, they get mad at you because you're annoying and so are a lot of things you say. Take responsibility for your own unattractive personality and stop blaming others. Oh that's right you're a female-that means you can't take responsibility.

You kind of just made a point... then unmade it.

Lol.