Can we start acting like MM & MW please

[MacAvoy]

I'm also very surprised at how many people in the "Mature Man" forum have only posted on this thread just to knock STR8UP. If you've got no useful input on a thread but to tell someone how much they suck, then do yourself and the OP a favor by not posting on the thread.

We've all been guilty of this, myself included. A while back I got frustrated with MNIN, he had a 20 page thread, kept going back making the same mistakes over and over again, so in frustration I called him out over it and called him a troll. Well thanks to a fellow poster who PM'd me, I realized I wasn't acting like a MM.

Well Desdinova's post above reminded me of that and rings true. Too many threads are getting hijacked and going on tangents because of personal rivalries. My Iron Rule of Tomassi thread was hijacked because iqqi doesn't like RT and vice versa so it became a debate about the rules and NOT ONE person answered the original question in the OP.

I was giving serious thought this morning to using the IGNORE IQQI BUTTON because I find alot of her posts lately are blowing hot air instead of adding to the conversation, it just incites debate for the sake of men vs women. However I didn't want to because I know once in a while she has something valuable to add.

So I'm asking all of you mature posters to step up. Instead of blindly calling someone out for their same mistakes, either ignore the poster if you can't be constructive in your criticism.. Also if someone is baiting you, then be the better man and ignore it.

 

[joekerr31]

knocking people to knock them down is not cool.

giving constructive advice with positive intentions that someone doesn't agree with is not 'knocking them down'

insults are bad. opinions are good.

 

[KontrollerX]

Iqqi's good posts are becoming more and more irrelevant as her bad posts eclipse her good posts in number.

I'll say I agree with the spirit of this thread and put all personal rivalries of my own with potato, senor fingerz and my name is nobody aside for the good of the community.

Iqqi will unfortunately not stop being Iqqi so I cannot include her in this list but I do encourage the membership here to use the ignore button on her posts instead of replying to the ones that offend you as your attention is what keeps her going.

 

[KarmaSutra]

I've been guilty of this from time to time. My anger sometimes beats the fvck out of my better judgement and types some nastiness then hits submit now before my rationality kicks his ass.

However, there are some brothers who thrive on causing strife and fuel themselves on ignorance (Mongolboy and Mr. Unpronouncable being the two who irk me the most) and I've tried to get to their better nature but after much shagrin I've decided it's best to just ignore them and help those brothers who do get it.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I've been guilty of this from time to time.

not me....never ok, maybe once or twice

We had our cage fights the other night. I am still just watching, but have spent time around a lot of the fighters. One thing that stands out to me is that the guys who talked the most sh!t beforehand were the ones who got beat the worst. The fighters who delivered the most dramatic knockouts were calm, cool and collected, and in control of their emotions, like just another day at the office. I think it's the same in anything else; guys who talk the most sh!t have the least to offer. Knowledge and skill are more likely to be found in quiet, humble people - not the loud argumentative braggards.

 

[ketostix]

I agree with joekerr, insults aren't good but dissenting opinions can be. The problem with someone like iqqi is if you totally ignore her, she'll likely influence some people and lead them astray. Believe it or not there's already a few guys that think her posts have good advice

 

[romangod]

I try to use the Golden Rule when I post. Treat people the way I want to be treated. Everyone deserves respect until they prove other wise. I got a little carried away by a troll who played us about his girlfriend being pregnant but realized he had more problems than being an arrogant, condescending liar.

This site has been a lot of help to me and I truly appreciate the sincere Mature Men and women who have helped in my recovery from some personal demons. I feel like I know many of them and I do care about their happiness.

We're all in this thing called life together. This site is a blessing for people who want some arm's length advice on serious issues in their personal lives. We should not abuse the trust they put in us by not taking their concerns seriously or by denigrating them.

Judge not lest ye be judged.

P.S. Good topic.

 

[DavenJuan]

i agrre mac-

look at str8ups last post. i mean if you take that post and put another OP i promise you the responses would be quite different.

i just dont get it.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Well Desdinova's post above reminded me of that and rings true. Too many threads are getting hijacked and going on tangents because of personal rivalries. My Iron Rule of Tomassi thread was hijacked because iqqi doesn't like RT and vice versa so it became a debate about the rules and NOT ONE person answered the original question in the OP.

Yo MAC, Good post. And a TIMELY one at that...



BUT...I don't really think that this assessment is entirely fair. More posters than IQQI have posted a few opposing opinions to certain statements made within not only that thread---but many others. And to single her out seems to be just a little bit biased, don't you think?

It would appear that some posters seem to have a problem with just IQQI's presence here MORE than they have a problem with her special brand of "forthrightness", shall we say?

If this were NOT so, I wonder why the level of conflict does not rise to the same heights and intensities as they do when opposing viewpoints are put forth by other posters?

Alternative views CAN be very valuable for us here. Sometimes, the injection of an alternate viewpoint can serve a variety of purposes:

1. Alternative views can cause posters who have a rather extremist view on some things to adopt a more holistic perception of the subject at hand. And subsequently, that original poster may see some value in taking a more "nuianced" and less "balls to the wall" approach to that topic than he would have considered taking before. Thus, bettering HIMSELF, inadvertantly.

Extremism in ANY direction is usually a one-way ticket to either eventual failure, self-sabotage, or self-destruction.

2. Alternate viewpoints that strike a blow that FREES the hearts and minds of readers who may need to be delivered from the prison of "HERO or HEROINE Worship" is ultimately, A GOOD THING. An alternate viewpoint can help us realize that ownership of COMPLETE KNOWLEDGE is the sole property of NO ONE. We can all learn something from each other (whether the lesson be positive or negative)----and we can benefit in some way as the result of this.

And once we realize THIS----we can move on in the realization that many of us are NOT here for the purposes of trying to be "JUST LIKE", or "EVEN BETTER", than our heroes----but to use our "heroes'" accomplishments as inspiration to accomplish things of our own----to BETTER "OURSELVES".

Ultimately, Soldiers, we should want to be our OWN goddammed HEROES, shouldn't we???

3. Lastly, the "invasion" of alternate viewpoints can sometimes reveal personal, deep-seated issues that MAY exist within those who "read" them----and take serious issue with them. Many times when there is a vehement, overly heated, or damn near VIOLENT reaction to an alternate viewpoint-----it can be an indicator that the person who reacts this way is either too unhealthily extreme and/or too emotionally invested in his own views, OR, is too unhealthily extreme and/or too emotionally invested in actively "hating on" the person who had the sheer audacity to express that alternate viewpoint.

And when this happens, alternative views are then ONLY seen as OPPOSING-----and the WAR OF THE WORDS begins...

Either way, nothing reveals how sensitive a "VIEWPOINT NERVE" really is until it's actually "touched" in some way. Whether it be bitterness from past hurts, the shock from seeing a sudden flash of light that reveals the evidence of having a severe case of tunnelvision, or simply an ingrained, adverse reaction to WHO or WHAT that poster represents to them-----the results remain the same for the offended party:

Intelligent discussion takes a BACK SEAT, emotional equilibrium is lost, while PRIDE, EGO, AND BLIND PASSION all struggle to grab THE WHEEL-----each fighting for control----each trying to steer the conversation in a direction that will ultimately benefit NO ONE.

So, no matter WHAT the poster who posts an alternative view may have initially meant to accomplish, how we process what has been "said" still remains OUR OWN individual choice.

I would only ask that we all show greater dilligence in excersizing our awareness------so that we may CHOOSE WISELY, soldiers.


Peace...some day.

 

[lookyoung]

look at str8ups last post. i mean if you take that post and put another OP i promise you the responses would be quite different. i just dont get it.

Another Op would get a different response your absolutely right. STR8UP has about 400 threads on this forum and i would bet at least 20 of them are how he could have banged a girl but did not for some crazy reason. Its always something. If STR8UP was 21 years old and just starting out in the game I would not tell him to be a man. I would try to help him and give him solid advice. But here is a guy that is 36 years old and has been here for 5 years yet still has girls sleeping in his bed that he is attracted to and he does not close the deal.

People are going to look at my response to his thread and say look lookyoung is a hater. He is so rude. I don't feel I was being rude at all. I was being honest with him. You have got to be a man. A man does not let a woman sleep in his bed without fvcking her brains out.

If people here have a problem with my response I would gladly step down and stop posting in this forum. Quite a few people on this forum think its cool to have a naked girl lying in bed next to you and not hitting it. If this is the case than this is not the forum I want to be in.

 

[penkitten]

good post mac!
about time someone said something!

 

[eyedogg]

I like where Victory took this and I also agree with McAvoy's intended message.

Dialogue, healthy on topic, dialogue is good.

 

[STR8UP]

A man does not let a woman sleep in his bed without fvcking her brains out.

If people here have a problem with my response I would gladly step down and stop posting in this forum. Quite a few people on this forum think its cool to have a naked girl lying in bed next to you and not hitting it. If this is the case than this is not the forum I want to be in.

If your definition of being a man includes never letting a woman sleep in your bed if you don't have sex with her, well....that's your opinion but some folks don't have such a narrow minded view.

If she's UNCLOTHED, or "cuddling" with you and you don't throw down...that's one thing, but you're giving me sh!t over a chick who was passed out drunk, fully clothed, and sleeping on the other side of the room from her guy friend and her brother. Maybe I should have made her sleep on the floor? Or better yet, maybe I should have kicked her out onto the recliner and asked her brother to sleep next to me. He's pretty hot too. Yea, that would have been a better idea.

See how ridiculous that sounds?

I didn't make that post as a "field report" or asking for advice, I posted because some posters seem to get a kick out of my adventures. No offense, but if you don't like the content, feel free to refrain from posting in my threads, cause honestly it serves no constructive purpose.

 

[cordoncordon]

Couple of things:

I like Iqqi. I thinks she brings a breath of fresh air here with her brand of humor and in all honesty I think she brings a very sharp, man's perspective, in a woman's mind. She's a keeper.

As for str8ups' recent thread. I like him as well. Seems like a nice guy. Brings a lot to this forum time and time again. My initial reaction to the thread though was "here we go again". Lately most of his threads are about all of these different women that want him, at least he thinks they do, and yet nothing ever happens. At some point it makes you wonder whether he is making up these women's flirtations in his mind, in other words his ego is imagining these come ons, or whether a lot of them are hitting on him but he is too chicken to do anything, or what? I don't know, maybe they are using him like Latinoman suggests. I think if he hadn't had such a past history of writing about all of these missed opps., no one would have said a word.

I was also somewhat taken aback because he wrote quite extensively in recent weeks about finding a better quality of woman to hang out with, and yet was right back partying with the porno, homosexual, heavy drinker/drug user types.

Somethings never change. We are who we are.

But I don't think anyone meant any disrespect to str8up or was trying to disparage him.

 

[ketostix]

If your definition of being a man includes never letting a woman sleep in your bed if you don't have sex with her, well....that's your opinion but some folks don't have such a narrow minded view.

If she's UNCLOTHED, or "cuddling" with you and you don't throw down...that's one thing, but you're giving me sh!t over a chick who was passed out drunk, fully clothed, and sleeping on the other side of the room from her guy friend and her brother. Maybe I should have made her sleep on the floor? Or better yet, maybe I should have kicked her out onto the recliner and asked her brother to sleep next to me. He's pretty hot too. Yea, that would have been a better idea.

See how ridiculous that sounds?

I didn't make that post as a "field report" or asking for advice, I posted because some posters seem to get a kick out of my adventures. No offense, but if you don't like the content, feel free to refrain from posting in my threads, cause honestly it serves no constructive purpose.

Yeah her brother and friend were keeping an eye on you a mildly CBing. I'm sure they knew what was going on with all her flirting. You need a bigger condo with locking bedroom doors and soundproof walls . Nah, you just have to get the girl alone. Isolation is half the battle if not more.

 

[STR8UP]

Yeah her brother and friend were keeping an eye on you a mildly CBing. I'm sure they knew what was going on with all her flirting. You need a bigger condo with locking bedroom doors and soundproof walls . Nah, you just have to get the girl alone. Isolation is half the battle if not more.

Haha....I just moved out of a three story townhouse that had a rooftop deck with a jacuzzi and an ENCLOSED bedroom......might have been a different story if it happened over there and she hadn't had too much to drink.

And actually, the brother and friend really weren't CBing at all. She talks pretty openly in front of them and I'm sure they saw her kissing on me and being all hushy hush about sending me the naughty emails, and I didn't get the vibe that they were concerned at all.

 

[iqqi]

When threads tend to be completely subjective and about ME directly, I try to stay out of them. How can I be objective? Ok well I can, but obviously the OP isn't, so... carry on!

And, thanks to the men who aren't afraid to speak up on my behalf. The singling out does tend to be... alarming. Not to me... it speaks more of the ones doing it! For anyone who is concerned about how I feel when these "evil iqqi" threads pop up... it doesn't bother me. I know how far ppl have to go, if they ever go anywhere else than where they are now.


For the record... I try not to call anyone a pvssy anymore, I let others do that. (And they do!) But I will still call it how I see it. Always. IT IS WHAT IT IS, partners!

 

[MacAvoy]

iqqi,

I apologize, this thread wasn't strictly about you, it was about EVERYONE in the MM forum. I didn't respond to the comments when people were sticking up for you earlier because my intention never was strictly about you, but I can see how everyone thought that with the button link. I tried to use myself as an example to lead into it, you just happened to be the next easiest example to use because its a little more blatant with you.

I agree w/ VU comments but my point was made evident once again in this thread when it got hijacked and they started discussing STR8UP again instead of focussing on the issue at hand.

 

[ketostix]

Haha....I just moved out of a three story townhouse that had a rooftop deck with a jacuzzi and an ENCLOSED bedroom......might have been a different story if it happened over there and she hadn't had too much to drink.

And actually, the brother and friend really weren't CBing at all. She talks pretty openly in front of them and I'm sure they saw her kissing on me and being all hushy hush about sending me the naughty emails, and I didn't get the vibe that they were concerned at all.

Yeah the 3br townhouse would've been a different story. I guess what I was getting at with the CB thing is, like you said, they knew what was going on but still didn't leave you two alone. Maybe they were too drunk/far from home to leave, I don't know. But for them to see her coming on to you and just still keep hanging around if they could've possibly left would be a form of mildly/passively CBing.

 

[STR8UP]

Yeah the 3br townhouse would've been a different story. I guess what I was getting at with the CB thing is, like you said, they knew what was going on but still didn't leave you two alone. Maybe they were too drunk/far from home to leave, I don't know. But for them to see her coming on to you and just still keep hanging around if they could've possibly left would be a form of mildly/passively CBing.

My place is on the 14th floor of a highrise, downtown, surrounded by bars and clubs. they were parked a couple of blocks away. It would have been a HUGE deal for them to leave, cops everywhere. I don't blame them for crashing....it was the smart thing to do. It was just one of those nights.

I hated the damn stairs and stuff in the townhouse, but damn if it didn't have its advantages!