Can the bros help?

[Fruitbat]

The reason I told you that was because we have a good laugh in N.A with each other, you are the same story that comes through the door every time, but think your a variable, I do not mean this as an attack I mean it with a smile.

your even plotting when you can drink again, it has a shrine in your mind , even though it totally destroys everything around you and leaves you emotionally bankrupt when you do? make sense?

This is why I did not advise you to do 90 days of sobriety, it registers the booze as important at the end of the 90 days.



Do not look at it like Religion, Look at it at like the questions were wrote by a Genius much like the DJ Bible.

there is 75 questions in step 1, and I was totally disgusted with myself by question 50, I havent drank since.

Can I do it without going to meetings?

just by a book or something?

 

[derby1]

Can I do it without going to meetings?

just by a book or something?

I will find you the literature tomorrow, try it this way for now. I will find you one filled out by a female heroin addict its very good, and it re-triggered some of my alcohol stories id forgotten about.

 

[Fruitbat]

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
13. 
    
14. 
    Really sorry but that reads more like a cult than a help group. I’d rather be a binge drinker than religious. I can’t believe they design a programme for alcoholics and then just turn it into a conversion programme! There’s like less than 15% white British believe in God. So the only way to stop alcohol is through Jesus/allah? I don’t believe in a personal God in the Christian sense.
    

 

[Sir FB]

Really sorry but that reads more like a cult than a help group. I’d rather be a binge drinker than religious. I can’t believe they design a programme for alcoholics and then just turn it into a conversion programme! There’s like less than 15% white British believe in God. So the only way to stop alcohol is through Jesus/allah? I don’t believe in a personal God in the Christian sense.

Maybe it’s not for you then. Maybe you can find another way to stop. I was just telling you what worked for me.

You’re like the guy who says that the only way to pick up girls is by trying to be super nice, be their friend and wait for them to escalate. You find it’s not working so you ask the guys with success what they did. They tell what they did and encourage you to try it but you argue that you could never do that and that you will never try it.

“There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man and everlasting ignorance - that principle is contempt prior to investigation” -Herbert Spencer

 

[derby1]

Really sorry but that reads more like a cult than a help group. I’d rather be a binge drinker than religious.

GOD 'Gift of desperation"

Im not religious, however the programme is brilliant, theyre also not the questions youve copied and pasted.

I wish you luck in whatever you do. they way you defend it after ripping doors of and beating people up, then posting a help status proves you have a problem. if this was a woman you would advise us to GHOST & abort mission

 

[Fruitbat]

Maybe it’s not for you then. Maybe you can find another way to stop. I was just telling you what worked for me.

You’re like the guy who says that the only way to pick up girls is by trying to be super nice, be their friend and wait for them to escalate. You find it’s not working so you ask the guys with success what they did. They tell what they did and encourage you to try it but you argue that you could never do that and that you will never try it.

“There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man and everlasting ignorance - that principle is contempt prior to investigation” -Herbert Spencer

would you attend a mosque if a Muslim told you that it was the true way to inner peace?

 

[Fruitbat]

GOD 'Gift of desperation"

Im not religious, however the programme is brilliant, theyre also not the questions youve copied and pasted.

I wish you luck in whatever you do. they way you defend it after ripping doors of and beating people up, then posting a help status proves you have a problem. if this was a woman you would advise us to GHOST & abort mission

OK so if you don’t have to be formally religious than it’s fine - that is taken off the AA website so can you at least empathise that it appears very much like a religious programme at first glance?

if I can do it without meetings and without paying a membership then I’ll do it (ie a self help programme)

 

[Sir FB]

would you attend a mosque if a Muslim told you that it was the true way to inner peace?

Only if I was really really desperate and I wanted what he had very badly. Your binge drinking probably isn’t that bad yet. The only people I’ve seen succeed with AA are those who have really hit a hard bottom. Hopefully you will find a way to manage your drinking without spiritual help. Good luck.

 

[xplt]

thats a very interesting post but I can tell you for a stone cold fact Weed is highly addictive.

I was a weed and smoking addict. I gave up tobacco long before I gave up weed (I vaped it too)

I was high all day every day for years. It isn’t to everyone but if I have weed in the house, it is used constantly until it’s gone. Good for you if you can take it or leave it. I found it highly dependent for 15 years.

I've made different experiences. I smoked for about ten years, with withdrawl symptoms when I didn't smoke. Always mixed with tobacco. At some point it just vanished out of my life due to my job. I just need a clear head and daily smoking made me slow. When I had something at home, I had to smoke it.

Now I've got a vaporizer and 2g are enough for a whole month. Most of the time I don't feel like smoking weed, but when I'm in the mood I take some hits.
The high from vaping is not as hard for me as the high from smoking. Way more mellow and it doesn't make my mind spin so much. I'm able to stay active that way.

I hear you on the water.

for the last 3 days I’ve been so dehydrated I nearly needed hospital. Still not hydrated. Digestion doesn’t work. Eyes sunken. Headache. It’s horrible. It’s also extremely hot here presently (rare for U.K.)

Sorry to hear, try to get some Elotrans powder (This helps with hangovers, too) and drink water regardless.
Hope you get well soon!

Your English is perfect too, my compliments.

Thank you. My job needs daily technical english, I just aquired it over the last years I think.

I was supporting you against France. Although the English and Germany have a strong history of rivalry, I feel much more in common with the Germans than I do with the French. Don’t know why, I think it’s true of most English.

the Germans we see kind of as comedy pantomime villains! You’re always very competent and ruthless. But we respect you. The French, well, we respect their food but we kind of think of them as lazy and disorganised and very arrogant. Of course this is a generalisation but I would sooner see Germany win than France. But I think the French or Italians will win it this year.

Same here Very few people are looking at our rivalry serious. Tournament games against England are always a big happening. Many people who are watching Bundesliga are also very interested in the Premier League. Watching a game in england would be a dream come true. Can't wait for the game against Scotland tomorrow.

I work in a french concern, they appear to be arrogant sometimes indeed, but working with them is way more uncomplicated than with my german colleagues... But we have the same prejudice here.

My tipp is Italy. They are way more hungry, they didn't stop fighting with three goals in advance yesterday.
One of the most fun games to watch till now were the Swedish against Spain. They fought like crazy, too.

 

[DSterlen]

Couple things that may help. Sometimes what keeps you drinking is essentially a “sugar-high” that it gives you. Alcohol functions similarly to sugar in some ways so after a few minutes the rush dies down and you want to have another one. The solution…eat. It will break the carbohydrate rush/crash cycle from the alcohol for the night and also tends to put you to sleep. Try it.

Therapy is good too. I recently got wasted 4 nights in a row and told my therapist. I told him I was going to start paying more attention to how much I was actually drinking. The fact that I told someone I was going to do it put some accountability on me since I knew he was expecting me to do what I said I was going to do. That’s I believe one of the biggest things about AA is you essentially have a group of people that you’ve told about your problem and you all expect each other to follow through. I was forced to go to a few meetings after getting busted for underage drinking when I was 18. If you DO want to quit completely I wouldn’t be afraid of it. It’s just a bunch of wild former party animals BS’ing around a table about all the crazy sh*t they’ve done in their lives because of drinking. It’s not like on TV where you have to get up in front of a room of people, you just sit at a table and people go around telling their stories. Lots of people just sit there and listen and everyone understands that. You just say “I’m new and just here to listen”. In fact if I can’t keep myself under control from here on out I’ve decided that I’ll start doing meetings. That is some motivation for me to take it easy since I would like to be able to have some drinks with friends. I also told my therapist that so at least there is someone to hold me to it.

Hope some of that helps.

 

[Fruitbat]

Only if I was really really desperate and I wanted what he had very badly. Your binge drinking probably isn’t that bad yet. The only people I’ve seen succeed with AA are those who have really hit a hard bottom. Hopefully you will find a way to manage your drinking without spiritual help. Good luck.

My real issue used to be with giant cocaine/alcohol binges which went on for days - weekends at a time.

gave all that up just by not ever buying it again. I just decided I didn’t enjoy it anymore.

Now it’s just if I drink in the day, I go on for a long time.

I have had a few nights this year where I start booze at 9pm and I’m done at11 - but I’ve still hadquite a lot, like 2 litres of 8% beer.

I just need to be drunk at the end. I can’t stop until that point - then I crash and sleep. What I can’t do is have 2 and leave it.

I identify with what’s been said about waiting for the next time.I work on fitness and career but after weeks of hard work I feel like I want a reward. The reward often is 3 days of feeing like ****. But I need at some point to be feeing altered, so I can escape the world for a bit. It could be beer, dope or acid or coke. The problem is with drugs is they last too long. Weed is just inconvenient and my wife would be very angry - doesn’t approve of drugs. Alcohol is what’s left.

exercjse doesn’t give the same release but it helps . The only think which I think could relate it is a hot tub, sauna and a massage. But that’s probably more expensive than cocaine.

 

[Blacksheep]

Sorry not women related but we are all about becoming better men. Not sure if you can help.

I don’t drink that often, but when I do, I drink to oblivion. Yesterday - example. Bought 4 for the football, drank 14 which is about one and a half gallons of 5% beer.

I’m getting a bit too old for this now. I have history of substance abuse - binges, plus smokedherb daily for 15 years. Gave up a few years back.

issue is, the only time I don’t feel background pressure and stress is either when drunk or the hangover. Bizzarely the hangover is fine as I’m distracted. Libido jumps a lot up as I’m for once not stressed. Stress is mainly job, anything

Even though it’s max 2x a month, it’s a problem. It takes me 3-5 days to feel nomal.

the idea of life stretching out without a drink forever just seems boring.

So, any of you recognise this binging tendancy? Could you beat it? Unless I am totally wasted, it never feels like enough. “Half drunk” i hate. It’s like a tease.

Considering getting counselling. Just FYI not doing AA or any groups and not religious. My sister says therapy as she thinks it’s probably something deeper driving it.

I don’t consider myself an alcoholic as I go weeks without drinking.

sorry if this is off topic but just hope someone might be able to offer perspective, and places like Reddit are full of divs. At least you guys broadly are similar to me.

I understand you man.

I had a lot of problems with addiction on alcohol, food, sex and caffeine. I'm regulating it now, but I'm needing a drug to help on that (bupropion). Even with that, sometimes is hard.

The thing is, if you are drinking because of an emotional problem, you should start to face that emotion and create some understanding. Then, start to make steps to solve it.

My case: most of my compulsions went away after I left the abusive environment I was with (live 29 years being abuse by a perverse narcissist father). I went near death a lot of times, and I needed any kind of suppressor to cope with that. Then comes those things.

I didn't drink everyday, but on thursday to sunday I was drinking hard. And I've made a lot of bullsh1t during those times.

But, I was raised with a big amount of abuse accumulated, and then... That could be the only outcome, or even worse.

Therapy can be a good way to start to understand it. With a good one of course. It took me 9 years to start doing some big changes in my life, so don't expect a easy road on that.

Now, after I took courage to get out of all that sh1t that biologically father threwn on me. My life is starting to get better.

I still have desires for alcohol, sometimes I drink... But its not that much as before. I could control other addictions, but I still need some kind of relief. Sometimes it was caffeine, sometimes food, and sometimes alcohol. But now, the times I'm drinking is more for pleasure than hiding a pain.

It's all about not giving up. And analyze any aspect and any pattern that triggers those desires, understand that deeply inside. And try, make mistakes, learn and try again.

And do not blame yourself for that. Life is pain... Our mind only tries to avoid at any cost those pains. That's being human, but as humans we can find better solutions to cope with those pains.

Hope it helps a bit. Wish you good energy. Stay strong and don't give up.

 

[xplt]

In europe we start to drink way too early. Usually between 14 and 16. Too young to handle alcohol with responsibility. In that age you don't enjoy the taste of alcoholic drinks, you want to expereience how it is to be drunk. We condition ourselfes to binge drink when we are still kids. In germany you are allowed to drink beer and wine legally with 16, hard alcohol is allowed with 18. If you get caught drinking underage, the only consequence you face, is that your parents get informed.

I will be out watching the euros on saturday and I'm invited for a wineyard hike on sunday. Typical weekendactivity in germany.
I try to control myself this weekend and give a report.

 

[xplt]

So I've been out last saturday and sunday.
I drank more than I planned to, but I was the most clearest guy on both days.
I tried to drink with awareness. If you really want to, it's not really hard to drink with some control.
Just some water in between and seeing the other guys behave like clowns, especially when women were around. I just thought "No, not like this."
My hangover was minimal, although I had several liters of beer on saturday. I just followed the rules I set and drank lots of water in between. Some water with magnesium powder and a shower in the morning and I felt fit again.
This weekend I stay sober. Just learning, sports and watching the euro matches.

 

[ubercat]

Hi FB

As you know I work in a high pressure industry too. And I had the same problem.

Firstly don't beat yourself up you ve made amazing gains over the last couple of years. And you're wanting to fix this for your family

And it's likely that your dopamine receptors are just sensitive to stimulants. You're not weaker than other people just more tempted.

Things that worked for me:

Understanding signs of stress building and putting in some interrupts - e.g. intense sports or exercise, long walk in nature, swimming - whatever works for you as a mental reset.

Avoiding triggers. For me if I was rushed that day and maybe a bit socially anxious a blowout was likely. So I made sure I wasn't rushed as a first step and then started moving my mindset to being deeply interested in and curious about people rather than stuck in my own head.

Longer Term
Meditation or Yoga
Understanding how to reset habits and how willpower can be strengthened - the books Atomic Habits and The Willpower Principle are good

Health wise you ve got an Asian wife I m sure you're well nourished. Couple of specific top ups I recommend to help body cope with alcohol.

Pomegranate juice - if I had to go with just one thing. This is the equivalent of good motor oil for men

Red cabbage twice a week - helps prevent fatty liver

Lots of water with a little apple cider vinegar - helps liver and gall bladder

Green spiriluna pills and lots of ginger tea. Controls general inflammation in the body.

 

[Fruitbat]

Hi FB

As you know I work in a high pressure industry too. And I had the same problem.

Firstly don't beat yourself up you ve made amazing gains over the last couple of years. And you're wanting to fix this for your family

And it's likely that your dopamine receptors are just sensitive to stimulants. You're not weaker than other people just more tempted.

Things that worked for me:

Understanding signs of stress building and putting in some interrupts - e.g. intense sports or exercise, long walk in nature, swimming - whatever works for you as a mental reset.

Avoiding triggers. For me if I was rushed that day and maybe a bit socially anxious a blowout was likely. So I made sure I wasn't rushed as a first step and then started moving my mindset to being deeply interested in and curious about people rather than stuck in my own head.

Longer Term
Meditation or Yoga
Understanding how to reset habits and how willpower can be strengthened - the books Atomic Habits and The Willpower Principle are good

Health wise you ve got an Asian wife I m sure you're well nourished. Couple of specific top ups I recommend to help body cope with alcohol.

Pomegranate juice - if I had to go with just one thing. This is the equivalent of good motor oil for men

Red cabbage twice a week - helps prevent fatty liver

Lots of water with a little apple cider vinegar - helps liver and gall bladder

Green spiriluna pills and lots of ginger tea. Controls general inflammation in the body.

thanks mate I hear you on the pomegranate juice - you have long been an advocate for it .

yeah probs my dopamine receptors are sensitive given years of drug and drink abuse .

one thing to add to the mix - just tried ZMA for 2 nights and holy f00k. I know there’s no evidence but my dreams are like lurid technicolour. They all involve me winning or being a total badass - kind of violent, but not scary. Sleep is deep and wake up rested with a 14 year old morning wood. ZMA is mad stuff.

coincidentally I got some red cabbage last night.

will get on the rest of this stuff. Thanks

 

[Fruitbat]

With this attitude, I would expect you to drink yourself to death one day.

I am being very serious

i would guess you don’t quite get the british drinking culture. There is literally nothing else, it’s 99% of what we do. We don’t have activities like they have in other countries. We don’t have frozen yow-gert, we don’t have church. We don’t have much else other than football and the pub.

life stretching out without a drink means “never having a social life” pretty much. It means staying home.

 

[Paper Crane]

Best thing you can do is stop drinking and eating junk for like 6 months and workout super consistently.. sht'll change your life

 

[Sir FB]

i would guess you don’t quite get the british drinking culture. There is literally nothing else, it’s 99% of what we do. We don’t have activities like they have in other countries. We don’t have frozen yow-gert, we don’t have church. We don’t have much else other than football and the pub.

life stretching out without a drink means “never having a social life” pretty much. It means staying home.

There is a quote in recovery literature that people in the depths of their disease cannot differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. Before I stopped drinking, I thought everyone drank like I did. I refused to hang out with people who didn’t enjoy getting wasted, and I judged them as “no fun”. I couldn’t imagine life without alcohol, every activity I did included it. The truth is that there are many people having fun in all cultures without alcohol. I just never realized it until I got sober. Maybe you’re not a real alcoholic and you’ll learn how to control and enjoy your drinking. But a real alcoholic will get worse, never better over any considerable period. Eventually he will be unable to imagine life with or without alcohol. If this happens to you, just remember there are people out there that have found a way out. Hopefully you are not too far advanced yet and will never get to that place.

 

[Fruitbat]

There is a quote in recovery literature that people in the depths of their disease cannot differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. Before I stopped drinking, I thought everyone drank like I did. I refused to hang out with people who didn’t enjoy getting wasted, and I judged them as “no fun”. I couldn’t imagine life without alcohol, every activity I did included it. The truth is that there are many people having fun in all cultures without alcohol. I just never realized it until I got sober. Maybe you’re not a real alcoholic and you’ll learn how to control and enjoy your drinking. But a real alcoholic will get worse, never better over any considerable period. Eventually he will be unable to imagine life with or without alcohol. If this happens to you, just remember there are people out there that have found a way out. Hopefully you are not too far advanced yet and will never get to that place.

sure, I drink a lot less now than I ever did.

I just can’t be bothered with the hangovers. Watched the England game sober for the first time. Enjoyed it more than drunk