Can one recover from AFC?

[Picstr]

DonS,whoa, just as I was comming to the reality of things, and reviewing jettison options(by phone/face to face), you drop this bomb.

I am real, to real, honest to a fault, knight in shinning armor, .......................I am a hardcore Beta AFC.

Last night it was tough to get to sleep but when I did I slept well.

OK how about another bombshell for more context?This will again change the dynamic of replies.

Remember I have the Knight in shinning armor complex?

I gave her a grand so she could stay in her condo.............

This morning my mindset has been I've been played.........hard.Duh.
She gets the money and a person to call and vent all her baggage problems to. What exactly am I getting here? Well besides a big frickin L painted on my forehead.

I love the idea of somehow keeping her in the loop but I think I've got to much invested emotionally to be able to deal. And I'm not getting any real feedback here besides her telling me stuff like "you've gotta be friends before you can be lovers" and "relax, just take it one day at a time" and my fav,"this could get bad" after kissing, infering that if there were a bed near by we'd be going at it like rabbits.

She did'nt call yesterday and probably won't today, so the no contact thing is working out real well, the good thing about all this is I hav'nt been able to ruin anything yet by talking to her, right now she probably thinks nothings changed.

So I either go up to her and say,"look, I've had fun with this but I'm not really getting what I want out of this deal". If I end this I want to end it like a man not a whipped dog, mature and confident.

If I decide to keep her in the loop, I'll confidently tell her, "my place friday night for dinner". She'll say I can't for some reason(kids/baggage). which will leave me back at square one all over again.

And I am open to other approaches for keeping her in the loop, maybe we can do it as an experiment, give me another angle, I got nothing to lose right?
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[romangod]

And I am open to other approaches for keeping her in the loop, maybe we can do it as an experiment, give me another angle, I got nothing to lose right?
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I'll tell you exactly what to do to be her master and not her servant. It'll only cost you a grand. Cash only.

Cheers!

P.S. What the heck are you doing giving her money??!! :crazy:

 

[Picstr]

Hey romangod, I thought I could save her, now I know I can't. And I can't be to sure that I'm not just another plate that is throwing money at her, thinking that it'll get me somewhere with her.
That's not what I was doing at the begining, I just truley wanted to help.
Getting no calls from her after friday nights date and after so much communication everyday means something.
But I have no idea what that might be.
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[romangod]

Hey romangod, I thought I could save her, now I know I can't. And I can't be to sure that I'm not just another plate that is throwing money at her, thinking that it'll get me somewhere with her.
That's not what I was doing at the begining, I just truley wanted to help.
Getting no calls from her after friday nights date and after so much communication everyday means something.
But I have no idea what that might be.
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Instead of thinking you can save her you should start working on saving yourself. This girl has got you right where she wants you and she's taking advantage of it.

What the lack of communication means is that she's already got a thousand bucks out of you and she figures it's time to move on to another sucker.

You've played this horribly and I would suggest you take a break from women and work on yourself. You're a lamb being led to slaughter.

Sorry for being so harsh, but it needed to be said.

Cheers!

 

[Picstr]

Romangod, yeah looks like I'm gonna have to go with a complete disconnect.
Which will be tough because I will bump into her a couple times a week.
Damn the frickin sign was there from the begining, the days she comes in to our office she wears very revealing tops..........always. I mean you can see half her t!ts, this for me should have been big huge red flag number 1 for me.
I have never seen her wear anything even remotely conservative.

OK its definately confirmed in my mind, I was played.

But is there a way to let her know that I finally figured out she was playing me? And then jettison? I want her to know that I know.

No contact does'nt get that across.

Good thing I'm back to work tomorrow this is gonna hurt.
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[slaog]

She sounds like a con artist. Wearing revealing cloths, leading you on and already after a few weeks she has been rewarded with $1000. If she was attracted to you you would be getting bedroom action and wouldn't have to give her anything. Its all take take take on her part and it doesn't look like you've gotten anything back and I'm not just talking about money.


Its normal AFC behaviour though. I used to do it. I was in a similar situation a few years back and when the girl tried to get rid of me my plan was to buy her an exensive gift. I convinced myself that I was being polite and a nice guy but really it was a desperate measure. Looking back on it I can't believe I was that much AFC but if I can change in about a year or so anybody can.


You can turn things around by turning yourself around. First thing is to start respecting yourself more because when you do that others will too. Don't be anybodys doormat. Have zero tolerance for bad behaviour and you'll be respected more.


Women can easily tell when men are AFC's and she sees you as one. Depending on the amount of communication ye had she builds up a picture and the clearer her picture of you is the harder it is to change that. I'd go along with what DonS said and practise your DJ skill on the woman. At least get something back for the money you wasted.

 

[romangod]

OK its definately confirmed in my mind, I was played.

But is there a way to let her know that I finally figured out she was playing me? And then jettison? I want her to know that I know.

You want her to know that you know!!!????? :crazy:


It seems you just don't get it. Still wanting to play little psychotic games with her in the hope of soothing your AFC ego will only spin you even further into the abyss of the AFC hell-hole. It's time to be a man!


Question: Are you really 45 and how did you survive this long?


Cheers!

 

[The Asian Lover]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mk9SZiGCWvc