Can it be saved?

[cola]

First post in years hope everyone’s well.

Short and sweet, met a girl we are 9 months in.
a lot of dates, a couple weekend trips.
Recently we had an argument and she broke a key boundary. I’ve gotten weak over the years I guess and after 24 hrs no contact I broke first and contacted, against the rules I know.

Ever since then, she has been a little less affectionate, not disrespectful, not rude. It’s a 30 minute drive from her house to mine. I used to get texts before I got home saying she missed me already blah blah, none of that anymore. Still down to hang out, still down for sex but it’s subtle things I notice.

Like she used to couldn’t keep her hands off me that’s not necessarily the case anymore, she’s still pleasant but not as touchy.
The look in her eye changed a bit.

Am I dead in the water or would lack of presence fix this before it’s too late? Also, I know she can’t break another boundary and if she does I have to next, and shouldn’t have reached out first.

I don’t think it’s a wrap yet but I got to get her hamster spinning again. Going to start cold approaching again to build a new roster starting today.
I do like her a lot and want to fix it but Is this the beginning of the end?

 

[Gamisch]

3 months passed first honeymoon phase.

Consider those 3 months bonus. Could've been dead three months ago..

You know what to do the coming 7 days;
- apply distance
- only text to make dates. If you have a date set see 1( apply distance)
- be ready for this to end. AKA open up to new prospects.

 

[CBear]

First post in years hope everyone’s well.

Short and sweet, met a girl we are 9 months in.
a lot of dates, a couple weekend trips.
Recently we had an argument and she broke a key boundary. I’ve gotten weak over the years I guess and after 24 hrs no contact I broke first and contacted, against the rules I know.

Ever since then, she has been a little less affectionate, not disrespectful, not rude. It’s a 30 minute drive from her house to mine. I used to get texts before I got home saying she missed me already blah blah, none of that anymore. Still down to hang out, still down for sex but it’s subtle things I notice.

Like she used to couldn’t keep her hands off me that’s not necessarily the case anymore, she’s still pleasant but not as touchy.
The look in her eye changed a bit.

Am I dead in the water or would lack of presence fix this before it’s too late? Also, I know she can’t break another boundary and if she does I have to next, and shouldn’t have reached out first.

I don’t think it’s a wrap yet but I got to get her hamster spinning again. Going to start cold approaching again to build a new roster starting today.
I do like her a lot and want to fix it but Is this the beginning of the end?

Hey @cola , nice to see you again. As @Gamisch said, sounds like the honeymoon phase is over, now you'll get to see what she's really like and truly decide whether she's a good fit for you or not. Discussions over conflicts (like the boundary you said she broke) should make you guys stronger together, not break you. That's if shes the right one for you.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

Sounds like that song, "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling."

You just need to dial back and and spin. Take the focus off of her. Value is intrinsic.

Remember the golden rule of other people doing things: Let them. You do you.

 

[Bokanovsky]

What was the boundary that she broke?

 

[The Duke]

The one who cares the least has the most power. If she pulls away you pull away a little further. Always care a little less than she does.

Keep them on their toes in an offensive position. Now she has you playing offense trying to score. They crave validation, by continuing to give her attention you are validating her.

She needs to "feel" like she is going to lose you. Thats the only thing that gets womens attention.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

she broke a key boundary.

Broke or crossed? What was the boundary?

Is this the beginning of the end?

Only if you want it to. Doesn't have to be the beginning of the end, but your attitude is wrong. You put more value on her than she put on you. Reverse that.

 

[Solomon]

Great to see you back Cola!!!
IME if a woman stops doing the things she used to, she 1. Is losing interest, 2 She got to comfortable or 3 Your princess is in another castle
The fact that you're making this thread and answering your own question should let you know what time it is

Good luck bro!

 

[Dr.Suave]

Great to see you back Cola!!!
IME if a woman stops doing the things she used to, she 1. Is losing interest, 2 She got to comfortable or 3 Your princess is in another castle
The fact that you're making this thread and answering your own question should let you know what time it is

Good luck bro!

I would triple Like this post if I could

 

[EyeBRollin]

Is she a girlfriend or plate?

What do you want with her?

What boundary did she cross?

 

[Learning Curve]

3 months passed first honeymoon phase.

Consider those 3 months bonus. Could've been dead three months ago..

You know what to do the coming 7 days;
- apply distance
- only text to make dates. If you have a date set see 1( apply distance)
- be ready for this to end. AKA open up to new prospects.

This.

Also, keep in mind for what ever reason a woman has become distant towards you, your course of action always is a solid pull-back date once a week until she becomes affectionate again.

You text her only to set up a date and you disappear until you see her. Basically what @Gamisch has told you.

Don't text in between don't try to force anything and each time she reaches out to you, have a chat end it quickly, be busy and let her emotions grow for the date.

You remove Ur-self from her frame and you keep your frame intact. Any form of her affecting you because she is "less touchy" is you entering her frame and becoming weak.

If she is less-touchy you become zero-touchy.

Get it?

 

[CornbreadFed]

What happened first of all? You being caught cheating and giving out some Kevin Samuels rebuttal vs a petty Cat fight could vs you ignored the Chinese red flags she was waving and now nature is collecting its payment with interest due.

 

[SW15]

Iron Rule of Tomassi #7
It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was.

Rooting through garbage

HELP! I ****ed up big time and I want her back! How do I get her back? Easily one of the most common questions I’ve fielded at SoSuave over the past 7 years has been some variation of “…

therationalmale.com

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Pull back a little...she could be probing for signs of more weakness. If she sees them it will confirm what she is starting to think already.

Show her strength instead.

 

[TheGambino]

Just lay back for a bit. Act like nothing is going on, you already know that the reason she is less affectionate is because you texted first after she broke your boundary. You can’t open her up about that so, don’t text her, give her less time. Don’t ask her how her day is or so just create some distance and she will text you. Then set up a date. If she declines the date or is suddenly busy, you just text okay no problem, do your thing, next time and wait for her to reach out.

 

[TheGambino]

Pull back a little...she could be probing for signs of more weakness. If she sees them it will confirm what she is starting to think already.

Show her strength instead.

this is all you need to know. Best explanation of her feelings right now.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

First post in years hope everyone’s well.

Short and sweet, met a girl we are 9 months in.
a lot of dates, a couple weekend trips.
Recently we had an argument and she broke a key boundary. I’ve gotten weak over the years I guess and after 24 hrs no contact I broke first and contacted, against the rules I know.

Ever since then, she has been a little less affectionate, not disrespectful, not rude. It’s a 30 minute drive from her house to mine. I used to get texts before I got home saying she missed me already blah blah, none of that anymore. Still down to hang out, still down for sex but it’s subtle things I notice.

Like she used to couldn’t keep her hands off me that’s not necessarily the case anymore, she’s still pleasant but not as touchy.
The look in her eye changed a bit.

Am I dead in the water or would lack of presence fix this before it’s too late? Also, I know she can’t break another boundary and if she does I have to next, and shouldn’t have reached out first.

I don’t think it’s a wrap yet but I got to get her hamster spinning again. Going to start cold approaching again to build a new roster starting today.
I do like her a lot and want to fix it but Is this the beginning of the end?

I dont see anything that couldnt be fixed by a good dose of dread game.

As the bro's mentioned above, withdraw attention, become a bit elusive, spend (more) time without her, make her mind work overtime.

 

[_sideways_]

Against popular opinion...
Date her again...
Meaning...be the dude she liked in the beginning

 

[TheGambino]

Against popular opinion...
Date her again...
Meaning...be the dude she liked in the beginning

Yes after he pulled back and she reaches out a bit more. Meaning she will feel as she is chasing him which in her mind will mean that she likes him more. When she reaches out just make a date and have a great time together. Then again let her do the chasing.

your principles and what you stand for is what makes you the man she falled for. If you don’t stand with that she will lose respect.