Can I win her back?

[Dirtheart]

A few months ago I met a lady I grew very fond of. To begin with everything was perfect, she couldn't get enough of me and though we hadn't been together very long we made each other very happy.

However, after a family tragedy I fell into a state of depression and lost my confidence and self-esteem. I became a pitiful wimp, and suddenly she lost interest in me and kindly told me she'd prefer to be friends. Things from there got worse and I completely lost my dignity. I grew dependent on her, hounded her with embarrassing emails, begged her to take me back and whined about all my problems to her.

I haven't seen her for a month, during which time I have overcome my depression and regained my confidence. I fear I have blown my chance and, even though I have explained things, I feel I cannot regain her respect or change her perception of me as a depressive and pitiful wimp.

Is there any way I can regain the interest she had in me to begin with or is it a lost cause now? Any tips would be appreciated as I really care for this lady.

Thank you.

 

[Eternal]

Moved to Discussion.

 

[DJ_Dork]

She nexted you. Don't know how you can salvage this , only choice left is to IGNORE. and not say anything to her.

 

[Dirtheart]

I've tried ignoring her, but then she just ignores me. Doesn't look good does it?

I guess I should move on, but it's hard, especially knowing she had such a strong interest (stronger than I've had from anyone in fact) before my depression.

 

[JoeSchmuck]

I had a smiliar thing happen to me dirt, what sucks is people tend to look at depression lightly until they feel it themselves, especially women. If she couldnt stick around to help you back up and see if you came out ok , then the hell with her . My first post on this site was a "how do i win her back" post so i know where you are coming from. My best advice is this, worry about you and making yourself the person you want to be and take it from there, stop worrying and dwelling about some broad who is too cold to care about someone who was grieving.

 

[NewMan]

It's done - move on.

 

[ToP DoN]

dotn even try

it aint worth it

 

[Spike_the_cowboy]

Move on~

I really think that you are expecting far too much of this girl.
You should ask yourself a very simple question...

"Is she really worth it?"

You've had a very hard time dealing with your depression.
That is understandable.
But she could not handle your reaction to this tragedy.

It sounds like you've relied far too heavily upon her for emotional support without really knowing who she is, or what she is all about. And now that she has moved on with her selfish life, you are still pursuing her.
There is only one logical outcome to this quagmire you've gotten yourself into... rejection.

Remember, you don't chase women. Women chase you!
If you want her back, stop trying to drag her back into your life.
Remember the 'Tao of Steve'.

Anyways, she has shown you her 'true colors' so to speak.
Don't you think that this is a good test of her character and worthiness as a mate?

I'd say forget her. She is not worthy of you. She is as 'water under the bridge', as they say.

Time to move on, brother.

 

[PlayerSupreme]

You probably do not want to read this but I have a banner for you to read:

http://www.villagephotos.com/pubbrowse.asp?selected=823345

The one about trust.

 

[HuuBinh]

this is a long shot, but if you really want to get bak with her, my best advice to you is date several women, hbs will have better impact & make sure that she knows it.

 

[Dirtheart]

Thank you all for your mature and kind replies. I think there's a lot of truth to them all; I just needed a logical perspective. I guess she's not worth pursuing or dwelling over, but it'll just take a bit of time for it to sink in. But when it does and this phase is behind me I'm sure I'll be better off.

Thanks again.

 

[Wyldfire]

Anyone who just bails on someone after a family tragedy like that is NOT the kind of person you want a relationship with, period.

Hell, it's not even the girl you really miss anyhow. You really are just missing what she represented to you..."that ideal girl who was better to me than anyone else." The fact is...she wasn't "better" because she bailed on you when you needed her support most. Keep that image of your ideal girl as long as you want to, but try to stop trying to make every girl you get involved with fit that image you've envisioned. Think about the fairy tale of Cinderella. If the slipper doesn't fit, don't try to make it fit. Be honest with yourself. This girl was NOT really your "ideal" girl. Accept it and move on...