I met my new gf about 6 weeks ago. We met on a cold approach at a bookstore. Yes, it is possible. Anyway, she is very attractive physically, and is 25. Apparently, until about 2 years ago, she was 60 pounds overweight. In her own words, she was “chubby” her whole life until 2 years ago. Now she is slender. She is constantly hit on by men. She is very, very attractive, and her self-esteem is just now catching up with her new good looks.
After about 2 or 3 weeks of dating, she had a big talk with me about whether we were exclusive. She explained there is a guy she works with who is a male model (she works for a TV shopping channel) that she had a “crush” on for months. He never talked to her until then, when we had been dating a few weeks. He asked her out, and she said to me: “I didn’t know what to say to him.” She wanted to be exclusive with me, and I agreed. She even asked later that night, “What if the male model asks me out again?” I said, “Tell him you have a bf.” She was so happy when I said that.
Apparently, 2 days later, he asked her out again, this time to coffee after work. She told him No, but she did not tell him she had a bf. She just said No. I know all this because she casually mentioned it in conversation to me. She even added, “I told him No, but felt so bad.” She then realized she had slipped up, and said something about how she really cares for me and wouldn’t date anyone else.
This bothered me, so the next time we were together in person, I told her it bothered me and told her why it bothered me. I gave her the option of going back to “just dating,” and letting her date the male model or anyone else she wanted to to get it out of her system. No questions asked. We could still date casually, and see where it goes. She refused, and affirmed she wanted to be exclusive with me.
This male model (whose name she has never told me, even though she calls all other friends and coworkers by their name when talking about them) apparently asked her out a third time a few days later. This is like 2 weeks ago. This time, she told him she had a bf. He didn’t give up, and asked, “Ok, but are you happy with him?” She said yes. He also mentioned to her he was going to be in a parade on a float that we have locally in this area.
My gf and I go to the parade last weekend. At one point, she asked me to stand in front of me so she could try to see her “friend from work” who was on a float in the parade. She never did find him at the parade. I thought about asking her if her "friend" was the male model, but didn't want to look jealous.
That was a mistake, as it has been bothering me.
This guy is not her friend; he wants to sleep with her. And she had a "crush" on him for months. She even once said it was too bad he didn't ask her out a couple of months ago before we met.
I am concerned that they talk every day at work, and she is getting to know him more and more and one day will dump me for him. They are not co-workers per se. SHe works in a control room, and he is an on-air model. Since it is live TV, they all get two, 2-hour breaks during the day to stay fresh so they don't screw up. It is during these long breaks he approaches her, she puts her novel down, and they talk. For how long, I do not know.
I was almost starting to really trust her, and obviously my concern over the male model is making me not trust her and have doubts.
I want to ask her about it all, and I fear I am correct that they talk at work a lot and are "just friends." But I feel like it is emotional cheating, especially because she did not tell him she had a bf right away even after we decided to be exclusive, and the fact she admittedly is attracted to him and is getting to know him better and talking to him.
I know I can't control who her friends are, but this guy never spoke a word to her until after we were dating, and now they are "friends." And he didn't back off once she turned him down a few times for dates.
Advice please. I do not want to appear jealous, but cannot get this off my mind because it is holding me back from forming a healthy relationship with her.
After about 2 or 3 weeks of dating, she had a big talk with me about whether we were exclusive. She explained there is a guy she works with who is a male model (she works for a TV shopping channel) that she had a “crush” on for months. He never talked to her until then, when we had been dating a few weeks. He asked her out, and she said to me: “I didn’t know what to say to him.” She wanted to be exclusive with me, and I agreed. She even asked later that night, “What if the male model asks me out again?” I said, “Tell him you have a bf.” She was so happy when I said that.
Apparently, 2 days later, he asked her out again, this time to coffee after work. She told him No, but she did not tell him she had a bf. She just said No. I know all this because she casually mentioned it in conversation to me. She even added, “I told him No, but felt so bad.” She then realized she had slipped up, and said something about how she really cares for me and wouldn’t date anyone else.
This bothered me, so the next time we were together in person, I told her it bothered me and told her why it bothered me. I gave her the option of going back to “just dating,” and letting her date the male model or anyone else she wanted to to get it out of her system. No questions asked. We could still date casually, and see where it goes. She refused, and affirmed she wanted to be exclusive with me.
This male model (whose name she has never told me, even though she calls all other friends and coworkers by their name when talking about them) apparently asked her out a third time a few days later. This is like 2 weeks ago. This time, she told him she had a bf. He didn’t give up, and asked, “Ok, but are you happy with him?” She said yes. He also mentioned to her he was going to be in a parade on a float that we have locally in this area.
My gf and I go to the parade last weekend. At one point, she asked me to stand in front of me so she could try to see her “friend from work” who was on a float in the parade. She never did find him at the parade. I thought about asking her if her "friend" was the male model, but didn't want to look jealous.
That was a mistake, as it has been bothering me.
This guy is not her friend; he wants to sleep with her. And she had a "crush" on him for months. She even once said it was too bad he didn't ask her out a couple of months ago before we met.
I am concerned that they talk every day at work, and she is getting to know him more and more and one day will dump me for him. They are not co-workers per se. SHe works in a control room, and he is an on-air model. Since it is live TV, they all get two, 2-hour breaks during the day to stay fresh so they don't screw up. It is during these long breaks he approaches her, she puts her novel down, and they talk. For how long, I do not know.
I was almost starting to really trust her, and obviously my concern over the male model is making me not trust her and have doubts.
I want to ask her about it all, and I fear I am correct that they talk at work a lot and are "just friends." But I feel like it is emotional cheating, especially because she did not tell him she had a bf right away even after we decided to be exclusive, and the fact she admittedly is attracted to him and is getting to know him better and talking to him.
I know I can't control who her friends are, but this guy never spoke a word to her until after we were dating, and now they are "friends." And he didn't back off once she turned him down a few times for dates.
Advice please. I do not want to appear jealous, but cannot get this off my mind because it is holding me back from forming a healthy relationship with her.
This guy keeps hitting on me! What are you going to do for me? How much do you like me? Aren't you listening to me? I said a guy keeps trying to get me to have sex with him! I'll stay with you if you beg me! Oh, I only want you. Hey, let's go see if we can see this guy! Oh, we're just friends. He hit on me again! Please stroke my ego! I just lied to you, you're still here?