Well, it finally settled in to me that there was basically no way I could keep this relationship. The only chance was IF I read the entire convo between her and the ex and it backed her story; and IF he obviously wanted her back but she refused.
So I packed her things and took the box to her house. I didn't tell her I was coming. I left the box in the car and she let me in. She was crying and looked like she hadn't eaten in days.
I quietly told her that there was really just no way I could trust her, other than reading the conversation and seeing exactly what was said. I told her that I knew how horrible this was, but that there was just no other way. I felt so lame saying it. I fully expected her to say "no", at which time I was going to walk out, get the box, and leave forever.
She told me that she had deleted most of the conversation after our talk last night. And she took the phone for a minute and seemed to be deleting a few messages. Obviously at this point I was done.
But then she handed me the phone and let me read the convo that was left. The long and short of it was this:
He DOES want her back, bad. In the messages I read, he promised to "love you forever and never let you go", etc.
Her response was that "I let go of my ex [referring to me] but I made a mistake."
She talked about how heartbroken she was at what was happening with me and went on to explain to him that she wanted to be with me and that she was sorry for any confusion.
He made a comment about how she was "not her dad", and that immediately let me know that she felt VERY guilty about this. Her dad left her mom years ago, and to this day they don't really even speak. So her conscience was really hurting.
So despite the fact that I knew that I could in no way respect myself and continue in the relationship, I feel vindicated. I was right. She wasn't evil, or using me, or trying to "swing branches." And in the end, she chose me. Little consolation, but it's better than nothing.
I went out to my car to get the box. When I brought it in she understood what was happening. She started climbing on me, sobbing, begging, etc. I went to the door and she got in front of it and wouldn't move. She came undone in front of me.
I let her tell me how much she loved me, how sorry she was, how she would wait for me, how she would do absolutely anything to save this, etc. I then hugged her, kissed her forehead and told her that I didn't think she was a bad person, and that I loved her.
I never raised my voice, never cursed, never insulted her. She followed me downstairs to the door. She grabbed me and asked me to kiss her. I said no, turned around, and walked away. This was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life.
I'm sure that over the next months or maybe even years, many guys in similar situations will stumble upon this thread. The advice I can give you: Trust your intuition. You know your woman better than anyone. With that said...
Sick, jaded fvcks like us always think the worst. We always assume that women are cheating, or lying, or scheming, or using. We always think that we have to carelessly toss away every single thing that doesn't mold like putty in our hands. We always say that the only thing you can believe in is yourself. We always say that ego is more important than forgiveness. This may be the best way to live; but it is no way to live.
