Can I have a mans opinion on this PLEASE (I am a girl)

[jeannie]

I have recently moved into a new home and the guy who I have been having a "thing" with came round for dinner the other night. We speak to each other on the phone for approx 3 hours a day, we are great friends, we have kissed and had brief intimate moments but due to our situations at the time we didn't take it any further. We have never been out on a proper date

Now I have my own place I was really excited that he was going to come round for the first time as at last we would be in our own space and be able to do whatever we wanted but we ate, he fixed my sofa, mended my vacuum and then nothing...no action whatsoever, not even a peck on the cheek!!! Bear in mind the last time we had any sort of relations was back in February so I thought he would have been all over the idea!! Should I take this as rejection or is he just attempting to be well mannered??

He has said that he wants to come round for dinner on Thursday, should I prepare myself to be let down again or do you think he will pounce? If he doesn't make a move should I or would that be wrong??

He brings me cupcakes after work and chats to me all the time, would a man do this unless he wanted something. I don't know if I am confusing friendship with romance but to be honest if we have kissed and had relations in the past then surely it is more than friendship... Oh and he did text me a picture of his piece a few weeks ago, is this normal behaviour for someone that just wants to be friends or is he hinting that he wants to give me one? haha!

Any advice or suggestions would be very welcome! Thanks Jeannie! x

 

[Powerofmindset]

Sounds like he's afc. I'm also guessing both of you are younger than 25. Sounds like he wants to play but can't pull the trigger without some validation from you first in person.

 

[bigneil]

That's the secret guys! We need to bring our women cupcakes and they will worship us.

Seriously though, you and he are talking 3 hours on the phone?? I'm not sure which one of you to b*tch slap.

I would think he would have made a move if he liked you, but he might just be a wuss. At this point, just tell him you have feelings for him and ask him if there is a future for you. Unlike women, men don't get turned off when a woman confesses her feelings.

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

If it's June, and you guys haven't done anything sexual/intimate since February, then he probably thinks you guys are just friends.

If you wanna find out for sure, make a move yourself.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Jeannie just try being a little more sexual with him. Guys are scared of coming off like a sexual creep most of the time. Just a little more contact and touching should let him know it's safe to move ahead. Wear something sexy...

 

[jeannie]

Thanks guys...we are actually a lot older than 25!! haha I am 35 and he is 33, we work together, not in the same office he is out on the road as a driver. I am just not sure if he is shy or what...I did say three hours on the phone, we have done a 6 hours and an 8 hours before in the past...we get on Sooooo well thats why I thought we might have something going on.

I spent the day out with him on the road once and we had a picnic and that day did end up really well, we managed the full monty which was awkward, messy and also in the pitch black, we did laugh a lot though, thats why I thought when I had my own house and we had space we would be like rabbits!

I asked him what he wants and he says he wants some fun and doesn't want a serious relationship at the moment, well thats what I want too and I have made that clear to him but I still thought I would have got a little bit of affection out of him. He was playing with my cat and rubbing her belly, I just thought why isn't he rubbing my belly!!!! hahaha!

 

[Eternal_water]

you talk on the phone 3 hours a day?!?!?!

You've done 6 and 8 hours in the past?!?!?!?!

Thats insane!!!!


Well If he didn't want you he would't waste 8 hours on the phone for you, bloody hell thats a third of a day.

sgtsplacker is right, If a girl is hit on by a guy who is "hot" then its considered hot and he is oozing bag fulls of confidence.

If a girl is hit on exactly the same way by a guy who isn't "hot" then he is a creep, a perv or a loser. So considering he works with you it would be very high risk for him to hit on you before knowing you want him back.

As its obvious he does in fact want you the world would not come to an end If you took the initiative yourself and made a move.

 

[Mike32ct]

Thanks guys...we are actually a lot older than 25!! haha I am 35 and he is 33, we work together, not in the same office he is out on the road as a driver. I am just not sure if he is shy or what...I did say three hours on the phone, we have done a 6 hours and an 8 hours before in the past...we get on Sooooo well thats why I thought we might have something going on.

I spent the day out with him on the road once and we had a picnic and that day did end up really well, we managed the full monty which was awkward, messy and also in the pitch black, we did laugh a lot though, thats why I thought when I had my own house and we had space we would be like rabbits!

I asked him what he wants and he says he wants some fun and doesn't want a serious relationship at the moment, well thats what I want too and I have made that clear to him but I still thought I would have got a little bit of affection out of him. He was playing with my cat and rubbing her belly, I just thought why isn't he rubbing my belly!!!! hahaha!

He's a little shy/timid. Plus the fact that you two haven't done anything initimate in a while is making it awkward for him. He might really be into you, and I believe he is, but he fears that too much time has passed and he is in friendzone, when he isn't.

As a guy, I can tell you that if you are intimate with a female and you do NOTHING physical with her for a certain amount of time aftewards, it feels really awkward/uncomfortable to "re-start" that intimacy even though you want to. Like SgtSplacker says, he fears coming across as a creep and making an unwelcomed advance. He might be afraid that it was sort of a one night stand last time (to you), and you might not be up for round 2. Plus he is being EXTRA cautious because you work together. So he probably WANTS to be intimate again, but he can't really ASK or make a move, without risking offending someone that works in his building (ie you). See his dilemma?

So you will have to get more aggressive and make a move on him then next time you are alone. It's ok for a female to be direct. Some guys will ONLY get the message that way. If he pays more attetion to the cat, tell him that rubbing your belly will make you purr lol. Then put his hand on your belly. Lay your hand on top of it. Then slowly kiss him.

There is NO downside to a female making a move. With some guys, there is no choice. Seriously. Go for it.

 

[jeannie]

Mike32ct - thanks so much for the advice, I do think he is a little shy and despite us spending so much time on the phone we don't talk rude or anything we just chat about stuff. Sometimes a little flirty but that's it. As we have left a lot of time between our last intimate moment you are right, we could be in the friend zone I just want him to know that he's much more than that to me.

I like the thought of the kissing slowly and the belly rubbing, I will have to prepare tonight for my mission!!! I will post how the date went after tomorrow when he has been round! lol Thanks so much again, the advice is great! x

 

[Robert28]

I have recently moved into a new home and the guy who I have been having a "thing" with came round for dinner the other night. We speak to each other on the phone for approx 3 hours a day, we are great friends, we have kissed and had brief intimate moments but due to our situations at the time we didn't take it any further. We have never been out on a proper date

Now I have my own place I was really excited that he was going to come round for the first time as at last we would be in our own space and be able to do whatever we wanted but we ate, he fixed my sofa, mended my vacuum and then nothing...no action whatsoever, not even a peck on the cheek!!! Bear in mind the last time we had any sort of relations was back in February so I thought he would have been all over the idea!! Should I take this as rejection or is he just attempting to be well mannered??

He has said that he wants to come round for dinner on Thursday, should I prepare myself to be let down again or do you think he will pounce? If he doesn't make a move should I or would that be wrong??

He brings me cupcakes after work and chats to me all the time, would a man do this unless he wanted something. I don't know if I am confusing friendship with romance but to be honest if we have kissed and had relations in the past then surely it is more than friendship... Oh and he did text me a picture of his piece a few weeks ago, is this normal behaviour for someone that just wants to be friends or is he hinting that he wants to give me one? haha!

Any advice or suggestions would be very welcome! Thanks Jeannie! x

to be totally honest, even I'm fvcking confused as to what you two are. I can see why you'd be too! are you friends? are you fvck buddies? sounds like YOU want more but you're trying to get US to reassure you that HE wants more. all the stuff I put in bold is why I'm confused. if you want to be friends, fine then talk on the phone all you want. if you want to be fvck buddies then what's up with all this cooking dinner and exchanging cupcakes stuff? if you want to be in a relationship with the guy, just ask him. I can't give you anymore advice then that because I have no idea wtf you two even are.

 

[Robert28]

if he's coming over for dinner, and you want to get him "in the mood", serve oysters and blueberries.

 

[jeannie]

Guys all your advice is brilliant. I do need to clarify something though...what is an afc? Lol sorry I am new to these things! I thought I would come on here to get some proper male advice and it seems I have got it. Thing is, he is not like any of you guys at all, he is not the sharpest tool in the box and he struggles talking about feelings etc which is another reason why I am confused. He doesnt open up easily.
He pursued me in the first instance about a year ago and our friendship has blossomed since then. Top and bottom of it is that he makes me laugh a lot. He has no money, no prospects, he lives with his parents, all this doesnt matter to me because I have fallen for him quite hard. I am not materialistic or have high expectations if him and I certainly not the sort of girl who would make demands on a man. All I want is a cuddle or some affection from time to time. I would be a great catch for him, just need to convince him of that. I know he likes me physically because he pursued me like mad at first, always making comments about my boobs, bum, etc and he would try and have a sneaky grope at work. I just think I have now become a comfortable old shoe for him.....

 

[SgtSplacker]

Ignore these guys trying to analyse if he is an AFC. AFC means Average Frustrated Chump. These forums are sometimes a very strange slice of real life...

 

[juicywa]

you what would be funny? if OP is really a guy trolling you all.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

I have recently moved into a new home and the guy who I have been having a "thing" with came round for dinner the other night. We speak to each other on the phone for approx 3 hours a day, we are great friends, we have kissed and had brief intimate moments but due to our situations at the time we didn't take it any further. We have never been out on a proper date

Now I have my own place I was really excited that he was going to come round for the first time as at last we would be in our own space and be able to do whatever we wanted but we ate, he fixed my sofa, mended my vacuum and then nothing...no action whatsoever, not even a peck on the cheek!!! Bear in mind the last time we had any sort of relations was back in February so I thought he would have been all over the idea!! Should I take this as rejection or is he just attempting to be well mannered??

He has said that he wants to come round for dinner on Thursday, should I prepare myself to be let down again or do you think he will pounce? If he doesn't make a move should I or would that be wrong??

He brings me cupcakes after work and chats to me all the time, would a man do this unless he wanted something. I don't know if I am confusing friendship with romance but to be honest if we have kissed and had relations in the past then surely it is more than friendship... Oh and he did text me a picture of his piece a few weeks ago, is this normal behaviour for someone that just wants to be friends or is he hinting that he wants to give me one? haha!

Any advice or suggestions would be very welcome! Thanks Jeannie! x

Trollololololololol!

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Guys all your advice is brilliant. I do need to clarify something though...what is an afc? Lol sorry I am new to these things! I thought I would come on here to get some proper male advice and it seems I have got it. Thing is, he is not like any of you guys at all, he is not the sharpest tool in the box and he struggles talking about feelings etc which is another reason why I am confused. He doesnt open up easily.
He pursued me in the first instance about a year ago and our friendship has blossomed since then. Top and bottom of it is that he makes me laugh a lot. He has no money, no prospects, he lives with his parents, all this doesnt matter to me because I have fallen for him quite hard. I am not materialistic or have high expectations if him and I certainly not the sort of girl who would make demands on a man. All I want is a cuddle or some affection from time to time. I would be a great catch for him, just need to convince him of that. I know he likes me physically because he pursued me like mad at first, always making comments about my boobs, bum, etc and he would try and have a sneaky grope at work. I just think I have now become a comfortable old shoe for him.....

TroLLMFAO!

 

[SgtSplacker]

You guys are a little "Troll Happy" me thinks...

In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory,[2] extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking readers into an emotional response[3] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion

 

[jeannie]

Troll, OP, afc....all these things are confusing me! Probably cos I am English! Lol!

 

[Eternal_water]

They are english phrases wum

 

[jeannie]

Sgt Splacker...you seem to be a voice of reason! Thanks for the internet slang education! I am useless! X