Can I get another chance?

[Jariel]

Just looking for some objective input here.

About 2 months after my break up with my ex I started seeing another girl. She was awesome. Her texts always made me smile and laugh and she took the focus off my ex. We had two dates and she was really into me. We kissed and she invited me back to her place one night but I politely refused.

Crazy huh? But a few days before my ex sent me a text telling me she still loved me and really screwed with my head. So unfortunately I dropped this new girl and just stopped talking to her. She took the hint and we haven't spoken since.

Now Im over my ex im realising what a great opportunity I threw away and just how much I liked this new girl, despite being a rebound. I dropped her a text the other day just asking how she's doing and I got no reply. I can't blame her. She may have moved on or she might just be nexting me as I let her down. She might think im just coming back to her as a safety net.

Any advice on whether I can reestablish anything with her and if so what can I say?

 

[Albatross953]

I read somewhere turning down sex kills a woman's attraction for you...usually permanently. Its also been my experience with any girl I've tried to go slow with.

If you do pull it off, I'd like to read a field report.

 

[LP700-4]

Wow. This is why it is really important to spin plates. Don't drop them off completely. Man, I don't know. Maybe someone else has a tip but what I think is, it's done for. Any attempt at establishing comms with her will just seem desperate and you will get AFC with her inadvertently. Best to just forget about your ex and this girl.

 

[Trixx]

New girl probably thinks you're not interested in her, so it's not looking good for you.

You may just shoot her another text and say you really need to talk to her over coffee or something..just be straightforward with her.

 

[Jariel]

Well, I've got nothing to lose by any move I make now I guess. It's been over a month since we last spoke. I might just drop her a message nearer Christmas and let her know I liked her and really enjoyed getting to know her, but was still coming to terms with break up, then wish her a happy Christmas.

It's weird how as soon as I started to break free of my attachment to my ex, this girl was on my mind a lot. She was very keen on me and wanted us to go to a bonfire together the following weekend, but I never got back to her about it. I'm sure if the roles were reversed, I wouldn't rush to talk to her again either.

 

[mikey2012]

Well, I've got nothing to lose by any move I make now I guess. It's been over a month since we last spoke. I might just drop her a message nearer Christmas and let her know I liked her and really enjoyed getting to know her, but was still coming to terms with break up, then wish her a happy Christmas.

It's weird how as soon as I started to break free of my attachment to my ex, this girl was on my mind a lot. She was very keen on me and wanted us to go to a bonfire together the following weekend, but I never got back to her about it. I'm sure if the roles were reversed, I wouldn't rush to talk to her again either.

nuthin much you can do. she probably seeing someone else atm. id say forget it and move on. maybe she wants you to be beg but this will mean you will be going into the relationship 3-0 down at half time. its very difficult to get your power back..

 

[Maximus Rex]

You F*cked, Why Are You Trippin?

When a Hoe Leaves Your A$$, Don’t Try to Figure It Out

"All women are fickle. Hoes are no different. Women function on 99.9% emotions. B*tches leave for the dumbest reasons or no reason at all. Least of all the reason you think it is. And I’ll tell you something else, if you know why the hoe left, you weren’t pimpin’. If a real pimp spots a problem he’s obligated to solve it. That’s why when a hoe leaves you’re not suppose to know why.”-Rosebudd the American Pimp by John D!ckson

 

[Lotus Effect]

Same happened to me Mate.

I've rebounded with a great girl, she was all over me, was stunning, really nice body, and mingled very well with my friends.

And then I got to talk to my ex midway through it. And so I droped her ass like she were nothing at all. As you know, things have not worked out with my ex and I've become a little pvssy.

What happened next. I tried to pull that girl out again. Guess what happened. Nothing. Flakiness. And low interest.

Why that happened? Because I was having something with her, and I've cut midway through it without a warning. They just know how to deal with this better than us. So she moved on.

My advice for you is. Go look for another one. What you are trying to do with this one is not healthy. It is pretty much the same as trying to get your ex back. It shows lack of options. It shows you are still codependent. It shows neediness.

It's over with your ex. It's over with her.

You can't go chasing her like this, because it would serve you only as an emotional tampoom. Your ex dumped you. You chased her. You got over your ex, now this one don't want you. You want another one you can't have... Do you see the pattern mate.

Go on with your life. This one is dead and gone!

Peace

 

[TheCWord]

Jariel, I think it's normal to do the "what could've been" and feel like a doofus for not realizing how good you had it... But you of course know that the value you have placed on this girl is increased due to the fact that you let her get away. Not saying she's not amazing, but you know what you're doing here

I hope you'll break out of this cycle of thinking about this girl because I just doubt it's productive. Try to remember those "a ha!" moments when you first started adopting the material on this site. Remember how easily you started getting women? How abundant the supply of them seemed? How you couldn't believe you'd ever get hooked on one woman who clearly wasn't working out because you knew you'd be happy spending time with high interest women and you'd be miserable spending time chasing those with low interest?

I know you know this stuff (member since 2004!) but that's cool. That's why you post here. So that we can help you get back on track and remind you that it is such a drain on you to pursue a girl who isn't making things easy. Your life will flow so much easier if it's just, "on to the next one."

 

[Jariel]

Thanks for the feedback and advice guys. Don't worry, I'm not obsessive over this girl or desperate to get her back, but it's just a shame we didn't meet when I was in a more receptive state of mind as we clicked very well.

There's a good chance she's interested or even seeing someone else now and good luck to her. I do know a lot of girls who come running and fawning over me whenever I send them a text, but that's quite offputting to be honest. I respect this girl more for not responding, as ironic as that sounds.

But I'm never long without someone new and I'm kinda seeing someone at the moment, so it's not a big deal really.