Can I bring a friend?

[izza]

Hello,

Any suggestions for what to do when a girl asks "cool, I'll go to X with you, would you mind if I brought a friend?"

On the one hand, you can play it cool "yeah sure, this isn't a date."

Or you can play it a little edgy "hellz no, I hate meeting strangers *lie*"

Any suggestions? It's not a sign of super high interest, I know, but if there's any way to "pass' the sh!t test, that would be cool. A bit tough to get around this, huh?

Izza

 

[KinkyMan]

Is this just a "what if?" type of question? Specifics would help.

I'd say it depends on your interest level and what you've done with the girl.

If you've made out with her on a date and like her, i'd recommend saying "nah i'd rather it just be us" it shows balls cuz if she says no you don't go.

Remember she IS asking .... If you go and she brings her friend and it sucks, it's your own fault you are wasting time. If you do let her bring a friend (aka havent at least made out) you may want to use that side of things more, i.e. push-pull her attention by being interested in her friend's conversation, and teasing her, control the convo.

One time i met up with a girl who brought a friend without telling me. I didnt know what i was doing so i just went meek. I should have either controlled the frame or just flat out left

If you've had sex with her and are dating her, she may want you to meet her friends. If you dig her, go for it, also it depends on what you're doing - if it's an action date you may want to tell her you'd like to meet person Y another time.

If you don't know her and this is the first time you call her, you should be calling her for coffee or something easy to get out of (comfortable) so if she asks for a friend to come for this - i'd say you should immediately lbjf Her and still control the convo. If you ask her for something like bowling as a first date, well just don't do that.

If you've known her awhile and this is the first call she might be saying something like "if you are going to be a ***** and not make a move we are going to friends" In which case she wants you. Use your gut.

 

[SkullMonkey]

Is it a guy or girl friend?

 

[syncmaster]

Shezz... keep your mind open to the possibilities. I'm thinking dual-induction massage. ROFL

 

[chaosphere]

I've been in this situation before, and it's not always a sign of sure doom. You left out a lot of details, so it's tough to say whether you're in trouble or not. If you hardly know her, it could just be that she's trying to protect herself in case you turn out to be sleazy/violent, etc. Even if you do know her, she might just feel nervous or something. The fact that she wants to spend time with you at all has to indicate something good.

Like someone said, when you're there with both of them, act more interested in the friend's convo, get her to talk about herself, and soon the girl you want will feel like an idiot for bringing along a third wheel as she is suddenly no longer the center of attention.

Pivot mastery is a very satisfying skill.

 

[El' Waynos]

Maybe she is just shy, let her friend come along and flirt with both of them.. hopefully her friend will tell the girl that your cute/nice etc..

Let them see that you can control the situation and master two women.. puss magnet material for sure

 

[Wiesman44]

she wants to bring a friend = she's not interested in you as anything more than a friend and/or she already had a b/f. Its happened to me a bunch of times. Ask her why she wants to bring a friend. Be blunt. Bust on her for being shy. Be ****y, bust her balls, make it firm that you dont want to get to know her friend, u want to get to know her !

 

[izza]

More specifics

To be more specific, I have gone on two "dates" where this girl acted similarly. The first time I barely knew her, so I didn't really think that much about it, she brought her friend who she said was going to leave after a few minutes when we met. She, the friend, stayed for quite a while actually then left. So I was left alone with this girl, and it was good and I enjoyed her company. I split after like half an hour though cuz I had to go, and we did the French two kisses on the cheek thing.

Then, three months went by lol. This is because of various vacations, finals, my indifference, one time when she cancelled on me sorta last minute. Then, I called her the other day, she called me right back, and we were setting up a time and she said "would you mind if I brought a friend."

I already went. Whatever, her friend was pretty cool. We ended up going back to her friend's place and eating her food. Then I had to go to choir, so I was out.

The question on my mind is what I do if she does it again. There was a lot of good advice, I particularly liked Weisman's idea of busting her balls. And I agree with everyone who said stay in control.

Izza

PS Mad props for the dual-induction massage technique, narf!

 

[TxCowboy]

This happened to me a while back and was a great shyt test. We had met up at a strip center and were about to head downtown for some pool. The second sentence out of her mouth was some shyt about one of her friends meeting us up downtown and having some drinks with us later. I was like ... "whatever" ...she kept asking me if I was going to bring someone else too and I told her "nope ... they're all gone for the night" ....

We got downtown and shot pool for a while and bs'ed and about half way through the date , I asked ... "so where is your friend that I keep hearing about ?" ... she finally fessed up that her friend wasnt comming ... I maintained my cool but ... honestly ... WHAT A CROC OF SHYT! ....

My advise in a situation like this is the same as what was mentioned in some of the other replies, which is bust on her and give her some cr@p about it ... ... Remember that she's prolly looking for a friend ...

See if you can get her to buy the drinks / pay for the fun if you find yourself getting into one of these friend situations ... works like a charm

 

[Hitman10000]

Don't play into the woman's game!

 

[Mellow]

Hello,

Any suggestions for what to do when a girl asks "cool, I'll go to X with you, would you mind if I brought a friend?"

On the one hand, you can play it cool "yeah sure, this isn't a date."

Or you can play it a little edgy "hellz no, I hate meeting strangers *lie*"

Any suggestions? It's not a sign of super high interest, I know, but if there's any way to "pass' the sh!t test, that would be cool. A bit tough to get around this, huh?

Izza

She might be acting matchmaker.....

Or she's pulling a test on you.

a 100% no.

If a girl ever asked me that I would left her right there on the spot.
What a stupid question.

 

[izza]

this just happened to me. need some advice or perspective.

couple weeks ago met a girl early in the day at school (had seen her around and i approached her) good vibe and she asked me for drinks later that night - spur of the moment. agreed. had drinks, everything good, shows interest. called her up few days later, asked her out for some pool. agreed. everything good. we make out. she confesses she thought i was sexy and has had a crush on me for a while.

she calls me a day later, i miss her call. couple days later she text me and called a few hours later. spoke for about ten minutes. laughing. i end the call. good vibe. couple days later she calls me at like 3 am drunk coming home from the bars. i'm in bed but i answer anyway. what the hell. talked for about an hour ****y and funny, learned some things about her. don't regret answering her call.

anyway, couple days pass and she calls me but i miss it. called her up the next day. small talk five minutes. said i would see her at school. next day, she her at school. get a good vibe from her so asked her out for drinks on saturday (which is tonight).

she calls me 30 mins ago asking me what i thought about 'picking her friend up if it's not out of the way.' i jokingly give her a hard time about it remarking no problem because my 'other' girlfriend lives around there and i would need to be dropping her off. whatever. it wasnt clarified if the friend will be sticking around for the night but hopefully she'll **** off but then will i need to drive her friend home because i picked her up. like ****.

so what do i do?

I hate that Sh!t. Keep in mind, women, especially if they're not super into you, can sometimes have a pack mentality. The girl in my case truly felt guilty about seeing some guy, she felt like she was abandoning her friend, she wanted a safety blanket etc. It's not really a shyt test, it's not a sign of pure disinterest. It's not a sign of enormous interest or decisiveness, that's all.

When I posted this a while ago, it really bugged me. (Good for you using the search function by the way, so rare in our day and age.) I wanted to punch her for doing that to me. Now I've realized, you just have to play hardball - pick-up is a high-stakes game, you need to play hard, bluff hard - then it feels easy!

Kick that sh!t to the curb, that's all I'm saying. Tell her, "you know what, I feel like I would get in the way of your girl's night out." Do not let her talk you into coming. Have her go out with her friend and dream of being out with you. Do not bite, leave her to her friend the moment she plays that game. Not bitterly, do it calmly, cooly. She will never pull that again because you have shown that you will be gone in a flash.

On the other side of the pitch, with these chicks I'm trying to friend zone, I do nothing but invite all my buddies when we hang out.

It's weird friendzoning cute women. I'm not used to this.

Izza

 

[Trapper]

"cool, I'll go to X with you, would you mind if I brought a friend?"

.my friend, izza, do not fall into this fcvking trap...fcvk that...this means she is not truely interested in you...move on man...

 

[izza]

"cool, I'll go to X with you, would you mind if I brought a friend?"

.my friend, izza, do not fall into this fcvking trap...fcvk that...this means she is not truely interested in you...move on man...

LOL the original post was 8 months ago.

Basically, every four seconds, somebody posts something and the universal response is "she's not interested move on." Women do sh!t that "means" she's not interested a lot, I mean seriously, how easily do you get discouraged?

If she's not interested, I'll make her interested: my first act to that end will be not buying into her cop-out game.

Izza

 

[Derek Flint]

Tell her, "The more the merrier" then game them both.

 

[Demon]

You asker HER out, NOT her friend - Cancel the date and tell her to re-arrange - Low Interest imo.

This isn't always a low-interest scenario. I've encountered many cases in which the girl was dumbfounded that I wanted to hang out with just her. If she perceives you as "out of her league", she'll treat you as though you are out of her league until you take the lead and make your intentions clear. Women can be insecure and they can have low self-esteem. There's no sense in treating every situation as though women are always clear-minded and confident.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Sure. You can pick me up. You can pay my way for whatever we are doing.

 

[izza]

so an update:

we got together and she says we don't need to grab her friend. cool. she goes well meet her friend at wherever, so we do - they are all guys. i play it cool, talk with them, talk to other people at the bar. end up taking her home. she asks if i want to come in to listen to some band she was telling me about. we do. we watch stupid you tube videos. talk. play fight. drink a little bit.

long story short, we ended up ****ing at like 7:00 am. walk up about in the early afternoon and we flirt and talk. watch some tv. she begins to 'open' herself up to me. cries a little bit. joke around some more. she gives me a back massage but nothing sexual or kissing happens. didnt even bother. she asks if i could drop her off at her mom's place around the corner for sunday dinner. i do. we say goodbye and that was that.

Oh, goodbye golden opportunity....

Been there before, that really sucks.

 

[DJDamage]

long story short, we ended up ****ing at like 7:00 am.

I see no problem here. Your "can I bring a friend" was not a sign of low interest. Chalk it up to your chick being stupid for wanting to have her cake and eat it too (wanting to have her man who makes her feel good with her friend who also makes her feel good). Sometimes chicks don't think about this kind of sh1t and when they show constant good behviour we shouldn't be worried about small sh1t like this either. Its the other 80% of girls who bring a friend on a date to indicate low interest that we need to watch out for. The other 20% just don't think about it.

 

[izza]

I see no problem here. Your "can I bring a friend" was not a sign of low interest. Chalk it up to your chick being stupid for wanting to have her cake and eat it too (wanting to have her man who makes her feel good with her friend who also makes her feel good). Sometimes chicks don't think about this kind of sh1t and when they show constant good behviour we shouldn't be worried about small sh1t like this either. Its the other 80% of girls who bring a friend on a date to indicate low interest that we need to watch out for. The other 20% just don't think about it.

Exactly!