can guys and girls be just friends?

[Giovanni Casanova]

Yes, they can... I have several friends that are girls. In fact, one girl is probably going to be a "groomsperson" at my upcoming wedding.

 

[BobbDobbs]

Friends for life? That's a stiff requirement in any case. Friends for some number of months/years? Sure.

If you boink a girl, she gets all weird, so it is hard to stay friends with them after that.

If you don't boink her, well, you're always thinking of boinking her. But you can stay friends with her primarily because she isn't allowing the boinking. If she ever does let you boink her, then she will weird out as mentioned above, and she won't want to be friends.

Men don't have as much trouble staying friends with chicks as chicks have trouble staying freinds with guys. That's why guys have to learn how to avoid LJBF here. As natural AFC's we'll hang on as friends forever -- even though the chick was lying about LJBF and was actually trying to get us to go away.

 

[Big Pimpin']

Its either shes hot and we have sex or shes ugly and I wont talk to her. So I cant see how I can develope a friendship with a female. Guys are just better to chill with.

 

[Bonhomme]

Sure

I've had lots of female friends. As long as someone doesn't dis me, they can be a friend.

But it is indeed very hard to be friends if one person is attracted to the other, and the other is not, and the one who's attracted to the other is not hooked up with someone else. In those cases, relationship talk ususally has to be off limits.

There was one woman who was seriously hot for me, but I wasn't hot enough for her to go for it. I never talked about my current romantic matters with her. Now she's found someone else who's great for her, so I probably could bring up the topic. But probably won't.

 

[dietzcoi]

Most guys I have known who have had one or more female "best friends" or good friends (as opposed to casual friends) are big time AFC!! Its the LJBF guys who continue to hang around the girl who are AFC... can't any of you see that? It is classic AFC behavior "She won't F@ck me so I will hang around her and supplicate". Haven't we all learned anything yet? Funny the women on the board all think it is just fine... they love to have a crop of AFCs at their beck and call. I have seen this so many times I won't bother with examples but my current (much) younger GF has a big time AFC friend her own age. He is a poster boy for AFCs. Buys her stuff, drives her places, etc, etc. Sits quietly by while I make out with her, slap her on the ass, etc, etc. Never had a chance with her, poor boy. I hope you will all look at this objectively and spare us the stories of your female best friends with whom you share so much.... boo hoo...

Dietzcoi

 

[Bonhomme]

A female friend ...

need not have you at her beck and call.

Friendship =/= supplication

 

[es_mer8]

Is it possible? Yes. What I found is that having a lot of good, popular friends that are girls only helps you out with the dating scene with positive recommendations.

However from what has happened to me and happened to others, most girls treat their male friends like sh!t. Don't ask me why (SexyMalibu? iqqi? Any thoughts on this one?) but it always seems to happen. Girls walk all over them. The friends that I have are with women that respect me and don't walk all over me. They have given me tests like buy them stuff or bring stuff over to them and tell them to get it themselves. Ever since stuff like that, I've never been walked on and they come to me.

However I don't like having all too many because they're not all that fun to hang around. Most of my male friends aren't fun to hang around with either so who knows.

I believe most male friends are AFCs that are too scared to do anything sexual with girls. In my grade there was this absolute knockout...an HB10 for sure. She dated someone who is in college and she had easily 5-10 AFC metrosexuals orbiting around her like she was the sun and they were the planets at all times. Its funny how afterwards, they would all talk about how hot she was and they wished they banged her and even had dreams about banging her. I think the mass majority (80-90%) are the same way. They are too scared to do anything with her so they have to be friends.

 

[Albion2]

If two conditions are met, then yes, otherwise no.

1) The man is not at all attracted to the woman.
2) The man is gay.

That's it, otherwise the male has an alternate adgenda. As much as you girls want to say, "You're fulla ****" either you're not his type, he's gay, or he wants to get into your pants, even if you're married or have a boyfriend.

-al

 

[The Legend]

It a very good idea to have girls as just friends. The more women you are around,the more you learn about their way of doing things.

I used to have many lady friends around me all the time. I did not force the friendship. They came to me because of their attraction for me,which I did not act on. This automatically causes the ladies to want to know who you are,and that is when you tell them only what they ask of you. I never told them that I was their friend or that I was/wasn't attracted to them.

The benifits are great. When you actually pick up a women from outside your circle of women friends,you will have all your women friends jealous. But,they still support you and tell the woman your dating good things because you hold this friendship.

You can hook up your buddies with your lady friends,which is a hell of a great thing to do. They will treat you with high respect and give you beer.

I've had girls that wanted to get married to me after they knew who I realy was as a person-which takes a long time. That means if you are attracted to some of these friends,then you will have your pick of choice.

It would be ignorent to not have girls as friends.

 

[Survivor]

This isn't rocket science. A man and a woman can be friends but under some really strict conditions:

1)The man must control his sexual attraction.

2)The woman must treat the man with respect.

Both conditions seem very hard for both men and women to satisfy. Thats why being friends with women is often difficult to do. I'm reminded of something another poster stated a while ago:

There are only two types of people that women instinctually care for; their own children, and men that they are sexually attracted to.

I believe that the guys on this site will mature to the point where they can control their sexuality. But I doubt as many women will ever learn to respect men that they are not attracted to.

 

[Luscious]

Personally, at this point, I voted no...

The way it's been with me lately, for some reason, things have been getting screwy (yes, literally ) with some of my female 'friends'...

It's either happening that I'm wanting them to be more than friends, or they're wanting me to be more than friends...and as this continues with my friends, more friends become curious, and the cycle continues...it actually sucks, really, because it's happening that I'm getting LJBFed, and LJBFing my female friends, a LOT.

My personal opinion is that the guy, or the chick, is always gonna be wanting to be more than friends...it's just the facts...one party is gonna be wanting more, or both parties will want more. It's messed up, but my experience is saying that's the way it is.

 

[Player_Supreme]

I think Chris Rock talked about this in one of his stand up routines. Men don't have female friends, just ones they haven't found a way to f* uck yet. If you think other wise then your buying into a dream. Men want only one thing from you iggy...at least a DJ wants only one thing.

Nothing is worse than a man being banished to the female friend zone either. When that happens then men want you to pimp for them by setting them up with friends or using you when they go out to catch other females...

Sex is what makes the world turn still to this day. Look at advertising...yeah I know it's superficial but that is really the way people are in the real world, once you take away the political correctness stuff.

 

[MysteryWoman]

Good looking guys make the best friends, it usually doesn't bother them if you don't fancy them because they can get plenty of girls anyway.

I find the responses worrying

 

[b's nuts]

it kills your game, if the only girls you are hanging out with aren't giving you any, then when you meet new girls you are going to treat them the same (because over time this is how you have learned to treat women). Use friends that are girls to practice techniques on like kino and so forth, that way you might get a chance to hit it. Another problem (which I have experienced personally) is being friends with a girl that you will never score with, that you like but she only wants frienship. This will totally kill your game, because you become used to treating a girl you like as a friend, and you learn to treat the next girl that you like as a friend as well, in turn you aren't ever going to get any pvssy. I had been doing this for about a year until I found this site, thanks guys.

 

[Albion2]

Originally posted by MysteryWoman
Good looking guys make the best friends, it usually doesn't bother them if you don't fancy them because they can get plenty of girls anyway.

I find the responses worrying

But if he's attracted to you, I guarantee that when he sees you he's thinking about getting into your pants. You may not believe it, and he WILL not admit it, but...

Men are men are men, we're programmed to want to f<beep>k. As long as your attractive to us and healthy you're fair game.

I mean if you don't believe it, test it. You're a woman; you're great at testing men. Go out with him some time and show a little interest in a little no commitment bedroom romp. I bet a million bucks, if he's attracted, he'll jump right on that. And if there's f<beep>king involved, it's no longer a friendship, it's a friends with benefits. When you have friends with benefits trouble usually ensues; things get "weird", new bf/gf finds out and gets upset, one of the friends starts having feelings. In the end it's just not worth it.

When I talk about a friendship between men and women I am talking about a complete non-sexual plutonic friendship where both parties consider the other party the same sex as themselves. I mean I would never even think of having sex with one of my male buddies. And I couldn't be friends with a girl I wanted to be with knowing that I could never be with her because we're just friends. It's not like we can just turn off the attraction switch that tells us you're right for us. And sticking around will just give us more information on why you're so right for us just making us more attracted and turning us into an AFC. It's not worth it...

I mean, how would you feel if you knew your guy friend was going home at night masturbating to the thought of having sex with you?

-al

 

[becker]

Originally posted by Survivor
This isn't rocket science. A man and a woman can be friends but under some really strict conditions:

1)The man must control his sexual attraction.

2)The woman must treat the man with respect.

Both conditions seem very hard for both men and women to satisfy. Thats why being friends with women is often difficult to do. I'm reminded of something another poster stated a while ago:

Both The Legend and Survivor bring forth good points here. If you're strong enough mentally and are not too self-conscious, you can pull off the friends thing with flying colors.

Personally, I can say I'm pretty good at this bit. However, the only girls that I tend to do this with are ones that I'm attracted to, but they have BFs. If they're hot, and you're a friend of theirs, you get the advantage of being in public with hot girls surrounding you, which instantly makes you more desirable to other women.

Then, what happens is that the other women will make the "friends" jealous if they know what a great catch you are, and sometimes they will see you in a different light. Then, if they ever start showing interest in you, you play the "I don't date girls with BFs" card, and they might start to reconsider their relationships. You see, the two things play off each other while you sit there as the prize.

Again, the only reason most guys reject this approach is that most of them can't get past the first hump, which is to make sure that they don't let any attraction to their "friends" show at all. I find an easy way to get around this is to realize that the girls are hanging around you, so having them around is the most difficult part. Then, after they're around you, they get to know you better, and if you create a good image for yourself and don't screw it up by making yourself seem like every other sex-crazed guy out there, you can make yourself seem like a total enigma. Key is to make them ask themselves "why aren't all guys like (your name)"?

 

[00Kevin]

It is possible for a man and woman to be just friends but only if they are not interested in each other.

I'm friends with a number of girls right now but it can be hard sometimes to stay that way. I find that women just expect you to be friends with them after you break up with them, but at the same time they show little respect for how you may still fee about them. Most of the time they talk about their current guy flings and expect you to listen and not get pissed off. It's girls like these that i can't be friends with. If a woman wants to be a friend with a guy after they break up then they can show some damn respect.

I also think that just being friends with a girl is a quick way to become a nice guy. When a girl has a nice guy she will just use him as an ear and not truely be a friend.

 

[myfriendblu]

Originally posted by MysteryWoman
Good looking guys make the best friends, it usually doesn't bother them if you don't fancy them because they can get plenty of girls anyway.

So you base your male friendships on looks?
And you boys wonder why Im so against having females as friends? This is why

Attention whor es. All of em, and they aint getting there attention from me. EVER.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

A lot of you guys are complicating the issue unnecessarily. Let's look at what the word "friend" means.

friend n.
A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement.

Does anyone find it odd that American Heritage Dictionary, in all their wisdom, didn't see fit to include, in their definition of the word "friend", some clause stating that sexual attraction precludes friendship?

If people fit the definition above, they're friends. It's pretty simple. Some people might hold sexual desires for a friend, but that doesn't change the fact that they are friends.

 

[SLIKKER_THAN_AVG]

Its quite simple.

You have a female friend who you like as a friend....asking for advice...hanging out sometimes....but you're not interested in her romantically....i have a few friends like that who ive known for YEARS...like hell im gonna dump their friendship because somehow i think they are AW's who are looking for ego boosts all the time.

If some people cant do that then dont. If you can handle being friends with a girl without being interested then by all means..go for it...its all about the networking.

Attention whor es. All of em, and they aint getting there attention from me. EVER.

Im sick of all this generalizing...girls are all this...etc..guys are all this..etc.

contrary to what many think..here is a fact: not ALL girls are AW's and you CAN have female friends.