can game be evil (any 1 experienced this)

[duttylove]

since learning about the game or becoming a dj i have changed quite a bit but some times wonder if thats a good thing. i am happy but dont seem to make the woman im with happy. i am in a relationship at the moment going on 3 months and heres the thing. ive read books such as double your dating , ross jeferys etc. alot of that stuff is how to pick up woman but when you have a woman to keep her interested you cant be clingy or say i love you etc, be your own man do your own thing. soz if im not explaining this well. when ever we fight its usually over something pointless like i dont show her enuff afection or she feels unwanted or i go talk to her friends to much and dont spend every second with her for example. weve had a few major arguments which usually ends up with me walking away then her stopping me. this causes her to tell me that i dont fight for her and that id quite happliy walk away. now i thought that was the point to keep her interested. she knows i can leave at any time. but are all these methods of keeping a woman only to establish a relationship and should be disregarded when actually in one. im only 20 so im learning all the time and any help on this would be greatful

 

[Donald Kaufman]

Your question, as I understand it, is, I try to be challenging and not overly focus on her and she says she wants more attention.

Rest of the response based on this being somewhat true.

She knows that you are willing to walk away if things go bad in the realationship. She thinks that's a bad thing. No, she doesn't. This one feels like a test. By letting her know you are ready to walk away means you are not desperate. A healthy, smart women should want you to be with her because you want to and not because she's the best you can do. I think she wants to see how far it goes. Playing with the line will build good tension.

You are right though. At some point you should ease off on how harshly you limit yourself to these beliefs. She is still testing you a little so this not a good area to reenforce in. Find an area she is not testing and show some happyness to be with her there.

If one day she says you don't spend enough time with her. The next day you don't show enough affection. On the third day go out and do something that says you are thinking about her that does not completely satisfy her concerns. On the fourth day spend time with her. On the fifth day show affection. Space out what you want to give her with some aspect of what she wants. Don't give her what she wants when she wants it if she asks for it.

Some of this flies in the face of interest building but things change as a relationship progresses.

You are still the prize. You still are your own person. You still have things you want to do. Just so happens now her happiness is one of them. Not all of them and not at any cost.

i am happy but dont seem to make the woman im with happy

Don't be so sure about that. Women are happy for a little while when they have a guy they can wrap around their finger. Women are happier with a guy she can't figure out. Who makes her happy but leaves her wondering and that she cannot test into defining. You might be doing better then you think and if she got what she thinks she wants she might get bored quickly. Just because a woman isn't smiling doesn't mean she isn't happy.

 

[earthshyne]

There's a thin line between maintaining her interest by remaining in control and being aloof. And as the relationship matures, the rules need to be modified.

But I'm unclear as to what you want. Would you prefer to hang with your buddies or be with her?

The problem with rules is that they are generalized and don't always make sense when dealing with specific situations. But the fact remains that you have to be clear on what you want first before you can determine how to apply the lessons you've learned.

Hard to know, from a distance... Good luck!

 

[Royal Elite]

You need to start using your most powerful ability of being a Man, and that is your ability to put your "emotions" in check.

Women dont have this ability and this is why you keep figthing. Two people in one place who "both" cant control themselves results in nothing more then chaos.

"It takes at least two chain links to rattle"

She is doing these foolish things to elict an emotional response from you that will cause you to lose control. Nerver, ever, lose control of your emotions as a man.

Women can't control their emotional states like us, and once you can keep your emotions under a tight lid, you will always be the dominent, controling party in the relationship.

All "Game" is, is the ability to speak certain words that will cause a calculated response in others while being immuned to them yourself.

 

[b's nuts]

Originally posted by Royal Elite
You need to start using your most powerful ability of being a Man, and that is your ability to put your "emotions" in check.

This is perfect, everyone should remember this. When things start getting shaky, snap back to reality and out of the fvcking soap opera women love to live in. Remembering that is going to help me, thx royal elite.

All "Game" is, is the ability to speak certain words that will cause a calculated response in others while being immuned to them yourself.

PERFECT.

 

[Kaine]

Don't be so sure about that. Women are happy for a little while when they have a guy they can wrap around their finger. Women are happier with a guy she can't figure out. Who makes her happy but leaves her wondering and that she cannot test into defining. You might be doing better then you think and if she got what she thinks she wants she might get bored quickly. Just because a woman isn't smiling doesn't mean she isn't happy.

Great response Donald. A lot of really good points I agree with!

Ultimately

Always be a little out of reach, don't let her think she has you 100%. A woman can't chase and leave you at the same time.


Kaine