Can buying flowers ever be justified?

[drift king]

This HB I'm seeing came out of a really bad relationship 2 years ago where she felt really unappreciated as her ex-bf never bought her gifts or flowers or anything... (the exact advice we are given here to do)

I went over to her place recently and she was telling me how she buys flowers for herself to cheer herself up. She was arranging them on her dining table. She wasn't hinting at me to buy her flowers but seeing as our thing has fizzled out and her IL is low, would buying flowers and attaching to her apartment door so she comes home to them one day be really AFC?

I know it can be too try hard, but I think it depends on when you do it and what IL level she is at. I don't want to try too hard but at same time it's suppose to be a surprise she hasn't received for a while. Might put me in her good books.

 

[oneboy21]

Yes it would be an AFC at this point if you do this.
since she mentioned she likes flowers and also her IL towards you is low, not a good idea.
try to find something else which you can impress her.

 

[Iceberg]

Can buying flowers ever be justified?

Yes. For your faithful, reliable girlfriend. Of many years.

This HB I'm seeing came out of a really bad relationship 2 years ago where she felt really unappreciated as her ex-bf never bought her gifts or flowers or anything... (the exact advice we are given here to do)

Yeah. And you know the reason she's still talking to you about that ex-bf? Because his non-flower-buying and underappreciating turned her on. If he were some wimpy sap, she would have just forgotten about him.

I went over to her place recently and she was telling me how she buys flowers for herself to cheer herself up. She was arranging them on her dining table. She wasn't hinting at me to buy her flowers but seeing as our thing has fizzled out and her IL is low, would buying flowers and attaching to her apartment door so she comes home to them one day be really AFC?

Yes. It would be extremely AFC. It would probably be one of the Top 5 most AFC things you could do.

I know it can be too try hard, but I think it depends on when you do it and what IL level she is at. I don't want to try too hard but at same time it's suppose to be a surprise she hasn't received for a while. Might put me in her good books.

No. It won't put you in her "good books".

Good sex will put you there. Success. Good looks. Confidence. Those will put you there.

Flowers is something than any loser with $10 in his wallet can do. And following her orders (I know she didnt ASK for flowers, but you see what I mean) will just make you seem like a weak, supplicating sheep. It's not sexy. It's not cool. It's a guy desperately grasping at straws on how to get a girl wet.

"Hey, I can't figure out how to turn you on, but I stopped at the 7-11 and I got you some dasies. Sex please?"

 

[Juan Don]

when and if her interest level increases, would it still be AFC if flowers were given every once in a while as a reward for something like great sex and attaching a note to it?( not necessarily every time)

 

[backbreaker]

i will probably get blasted for this but when i was single i would always send a girl flowers the day after we first had sex.

as long as you don't follow it up with generally sappy behavior it usually goes over very well. let's them know that you are thinking about them and that they aren 't a ONS




I wouldn't call though.


Actually it probalby creates more intrigue on her behalf, beucase you are giving conflicting behavior patterns. You are showing her that you are a man worth chasing (by being a DJ) but that you do have a "soft" side by sending flowers. But then again, not following it up by being a total sap.


And to be frank, if a woman is dense enough to lose interest in you, after you had the nerve to send her flowers after you just had sex with her the first time, i assure you she's doing you a favor.

 

[SgtSplacker]

I'll only buy flowers it i'm gaming that particular lady with pretty intense hot cold tactics.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

This may be beside the point, but was there any sexual tension between you two when you went over to her place?

You need to have attraction between the two of you. If she is attracted to you, then it will not hurt you to buy her flowers. Buying flowers in general is pretty chessy, though. You should be different if you're going to do this. Find out what her favorite type of flower is and get her one of those. Hell, I'd say it's better to pick a random flower from the ground when you're out with her, and give that to her. It's more UNPLANNED, therefore less awkward.

 

[drift king]

thing is i got into an argument with her a few days ago on the phone, it wasn't my fault really, i tried sending a text and the f'ing cell network didn't deliver it.. this has happened before (basically what happens is that i have to send another text before that 1 gets sent through otherrwise it'll deliver in like 1 week time)

cos the text didn't deliver and i was tryna call her up to meet up that night i called a few hours later.. she didnt answer so i resent the original text (i know, i'm very impatient) and that didn't deliver either! so i resorted to sending her a message on facebook.. (i know, desperate needy, etc impatient.. all the qualities you dont want to be showing)

when she replied she wasn't sure she could make it that night or on thursday and she'll let me know, i knew she lost interest. so i replied back saying i needed to talk to her on the phone. she called me back an hour later (i was hoping to use this call to get her IL back up)

she was in a bad mood (i didn't know at the time but there was a lot of sh1t going down, her mum was in hospital for cancer, her close friend was in intensive care and may die, herself having issues that she may not be able to get pregnant in future due to womb problems and all in the while she's looking for a new job) so having me talk about 'us' is the least of her priorities.. she basically told me that she never was interested and for some reason i decided to suggest otherwise that how the first week we went out she was constantly texting me and she said she never initiated it and only replied to me.. i said 'no, you did check the texts' then she went off on one on me about how i seem to remember everything and that i'm obssessed with her and had to much free time. (bad bad signs) also i mentioned about when we make out she doesn't deflect it or reject my advances and she goes she does it to 'reply' and that she never actually initiates any sexual advances towards me.. this is true in fairness but shows you girls will still fool around with you even if they're not interested. she then goes on to say 'fine i wont text you anymore so you dont get the wrong idea that i'm interested!' she also said i was jealous and other negative stuff and i spend the time tryna disprove this. eventually we ended the call on bad terms. it's over.

 

[drift king]

so i decide to get her favorite flower on my way down to town before going out, i didn't know if she was in or not but i decided to risk it anyway. i buzzed her on the intercom and she was in, i go 'hey can you buzz me in, i got to give you something im in a bit of a rush'

she goes: 'my sister is here, i can see you later on' (i dont know what she meant by this, but it's pretty creepy just showing up unexpectedly asking to come in)

i go 'well just come down then i need to give you something and i need to go in a sec'

so she sounds annoyed and comes down (she knows im impatient) at this point you can tell she wont be pleased to see me.

she opens the door, with a frown on her face then looks at the flower and then goes 'what is that for?'

i shrug my shoulders and say 'nothing' with a little smile

her face then turns to a semi grin and then we start talking, i put the time constraint in again that i need to rush off to dinner. i'm dressed up like im going on a date, like i have with her. she tells me her mum is in hospital and her friend and thats why she was in a bad mood on tuesday. i think she thinks im giving her flowers to say sorry. the prob is the card thats attached i wrote 'just to let you know you're appreciated' kinda inappropriate me thinks.

i go in to kiss her but she kinda gives me the cold shoulder so i end up kissing her nose.

we talk a bit more, i mention that i have more flowers but they're not for her (she then gives me an annoyed look) i say it's for her friend who's in hospital and i wasn't sure if i should bring them or not but i'll bring them some other time but if she's not in i'll just leave them outside (dont know why i said this extra sh1t.. it's too creepy saying im gona come back unannounced and leave flowers, but after she starts to brighten up so i say my goodbyes wish her a good weekend. i go in for a goodbye kiss and she reciprocates with a smile, this could just be her 'replying' again and she didn't really want to. either way she seemed pleased.

the thing is.. cos she established she wont be contacting me at all so i dont get the wrong idea i cant expect her to contact me now?

i feel like im back in her good graces but that means nothing, just means she's willing to give me another chance which is pointless cos that means shes still the prize.

i should really get a thank you text or something, tho i think she did say thank you in person.

really what i was hoping was to show up at the door with flowers, her with a grin and then escalate to sex. i did this flower thing once before years ago and it kinda worked where the girl liked me again but i afc'd up a few days later tryna press for a date so it backfired ultimately, wont make same mistake again.

should i just leave it now and see if she contacts me? (even if she probably wont, shes stubborn, plus wasn't interested anymore, flowers arent gona change that)

i should mention that her last serious bf who she was in love with was exactly the same as me looks etc, she didn't like him at first but he was really persistent and eventuall she started to like him and fell in love. i dont know how long it took but she was head over heels in love with him. that's maybe why she's still open to the idea cos her ex was the exact same way and in her mind she thinks i'm ideal but she doesnt 'feel' it. i think i need to sleep with her very soon if i have any chance of making her have those feelings.

given the turmoil she's having you could imagine on her days off she would just want to have sex to take her mind off things? shame its not me who gett to do that..

 

[drift king]

Yes. For your faithful, reliable girlfriend. Of many years.



Yeah. And you know the reason she's still talking to you about that ex-bf? Because his non-flower-buying and underappreciating turned her on. If he were some wimpy sap, she would have just forgotten about him.



Yes. It would be extremely AFC. It would probably be one of the Top 5 most AFC things you could do.



No. It won't put you in her "good books".

Good sex will put you there. Success. Good looks. Confidence. Those will put you there.

Flowers is something than any loser with $10 in his wallet can do. And following her orders (I know she didnt ASK for flowers, but you see what I mean) will just make you seem like a weak, supplicating sheep. It's not sexy. It's not cool. It's a guy desperately grasping at straws on how to get a girl wet.

"Hey, I can't figure out how to turn you on, but I stopped at the 7-11 and I got you some dasies. Sex please?"

i think you're right, it's put me back in her good graces willing to give me another chance but really i shouldn't be looking for another chance as i should be the prize.

must have come across as a sap. i'll have to just leave it now and see if she contacts me (even though she said she wont contact me anymore)

 

[I'm in the Mood]

must have come across as a sap. i'll have to just leave it now and see if she contacts me (even though she said she wont contact me anymore)

No, don't stop pursuing her, just stop being a "sap." If you give up that easily you are still being a sap. Continue to hang out with her and make sure she has fun. And next time she won't let you kiss her lips, don't even think about kissing her nose. That would be rewarding her for bad behavior. Basically, if you change your behavior, you can continue and most likely IMPROVE your relationship with her. Also, stop being creepy and start being honest. If she says LJBF, then don't entirely drop her from your radar, but make sure to go out and date other women who WANT you. It's always possible to turn any situation around, no matter how unlikely it may seem.

 

[Aaron B]

i've never gotten my wife of over 6 years flowers

i rarely get her gifts

i refuse to participate in Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is f'ing stupid and I refuse to be forced to do some crap I don't want to do. If she gets whiny, I point out that I'm awesome and the dudes who participate are lame so they have no choice but to participate. If they were awesome like me, they probably wouldn't fall for that crap either.

when you truly view yourself as the prize and she shares that view, you don't have to do that crap

if you are the prize and she knows it and YOU WANT TO GET HER FLOWERS, go right ahead

but why in the world would you want to? there are so many other and better ways to make her feel good

and getting her flowers as an apology is a mistake 100% of the time

also most women who are older than 18 or so don't even really give a crap about getting flowers

if you can't make her feel the way you want to make her feel with the gesture of flowers, its not going to help you one bit

if you can make her feel the way you want her to feel, then it doesn't matter if you give her flowers or not

 

[jacob]

This HB I'm seeing came out of a really bad relationship 2 years ago where she felt really unappreciated as her ex-bf never bought her gifts or flowers or anything... (the exact advice we are given here to do)

I went over to her place recently and she was telling me how she buys flowers for herself to cheer herself up. She was arranging them on her dining table. She wasn't hinting at me to buy her flowers but seeing as our thing has fizzled out and her IL is low, would buying flowers and attaching to her apartment door so she comes home to them one day be really AFC?

I know it can be too try hard, but I think it depends on when you do it and what IL level she is at. I don't want to try too hard but at same time it's suppose to be a surprise she hasn't received for a while. Might put me in her good books.

Ofcourse, women love it when you do those kinda things, especially if they like the guy, also it's extra points, if you do it in moderation.

The problem with this forum or "attraction techniques" and systems put together by Mystery, David Deangelo, Doc Love, is that guys start to think it's dogma.

Guys think that if they break one of the rules that's posted then they have fcked everything up. This is false.

An example would be my experience with trying to get an ex girlfriend back.

I tried being "hardcore", acting aloof, not telling her, I love her, going no contact, but not only would that put a wedge between us and drive us more apart and into being strangers again, but it was killing me inside.

It's like not being able to tell a loved one that was about to die, a loved one you'd never see again, that you loved them dearly. How fvcked up is that?

So I went and did the natural thing that every human male would do, the thing that's referred to as "AFC" behavior, I called her and in the beginning I tried to act all cool and indifferent, but since females know the "game" way better than males she knew I was playing and not being true.

I realized this and told her straight up that I loved her, and missed her, and cared for her as a human being and not a sex object. After this she finally melted and we started meeting up and dating again, which before this using all this hardcore, being a jerk, man up bull****, just repelled her and drove her away.

So yeah there is a place for AFC behavior in male female relationships if used moderately, since it goes to the root of being a human", and it trumps what the so called "experts" (whom by the way are single) advocate with their "attraction techniques".

Believe it or not chivalry is alive and well, you just need to know how to implement it in a masculine way as a master of seduction does...

So go ahead and surprise her with the flowers, at the very least you gave her a moment in time, and experience in her life of your love. It will be a memory that will stay with her...

 

[BigSmooth]

Buy her some carrots. Play it confidently and funny.

 

[demezel]

wow i am surprised that you have not dropped that woman yet seriously.. first of all you have everything to know that she is no dating material at the moment: her mom issues and her own, why would anybody go on dates while their parents are in critical conditions? you should have next her or on a waiting list or something but not tried to actually date her at the moment.

second she LITERALLY disrespected you by saying that she was not into you and she was only "responding" to you and you were actually trying to convince her that it was not true!!! common you are not supposed to explain yourself dude.that is exactly what the best AFC in the world would do. you dont get in arguments with chicks on weather they like you or not!!! if she says she is not interested you say "oh really? i supposed i thought wrong, alright see you around" and you hang up. but instead after her saying that she is not interested you run back to her with flowers??? wtf?? common dude you know better than that..
and the all dressed up thing did not work she totally saw trough you brother, think about what would it be exactly before going on a date that you would stop at her place to give her flowers?? you could have done it anytime why was it at that specific moment?? that actually proves that you dont actually care about other women because you were really thinking about her to the point where you stopped into a shop, looked around for flowers that she would like , bought them and went to her place. you are clearly making her the center of your world at this point. she clearly said that she thinks you are obsessed with her common dude let this chick go before you get seriously hurt or turned into a chihuahua. :nono: :nono: :nono:

 

[FairShake]

and getting her flowers as an apology is a mistake 100% of the time

also most women who are older than 18 or so don't even really give a crap about getting flowers

Erm...whut and whut? Flowers as an apology works very well for many women of all age ranges. Don't tell him nonsense because it sounds cool.

If a girl likes you, flowers will be a pleasant surprise. If she doesn't she will see it as needy. Kinda like everything else. If a girl likes a guy who is ****y, he has personality. If she doesn't he's an azzhole.

So gauge where you guys are at. Myself personally, I wouldn't get flowers for a woman I am romantically interested in until we are in a relationship.

 

[Demonpenz]

If it makes you feel good then do it. I like the way it makes me feel, although I haven't done it since high school haha

 

[Huffman]

I've just recently bought a bouquet of flowers.

For the charming old lady who helped me find a good aparment.

 

[5string]

I keep telling you guys, never, ever buy flowers for a woman unless she's your mother!

Lame. Don't do it.