Can anyone shed some light here...thanks

[George]

Hi guys I am going to put this as simply as possible, be grateful of some advice. I have never really had a proper relationship before and have only ever dated, so thus have played the games etc which has always seemed to work. Anyway, I met this girl and she had just come out of a relationship (of 3.5 years) so I 'stood on the sidelines' to make sure that she was ready and played the games and she was keen. Anyway three months in and we had noticed that we were trying to make it too perfect and then started being real. In the first three months i saw her once or twice a week and it was really casual, and we got to know each other but in little bits. Anyway, the last two months I have started seeing her a lot more (sometimes two/three days in a row). This week because I have been off work I have seen her every night for five nights and I also spent new years eve and today with her. NOTE: last week I told her I love her and she reciprocated. And last night she said she loves me and 'just wants to love me'. I am reknowned for over analysing things but today she was just quiet and although she was going to stay with me tonight she said she doesnt want the relationship to 'get to a stage where we live in each others pockets (this is because she went awol in her last relationship)', everyone needs 'me time' though.

Oh I had been confused before and had distanced myself before and she recognised this and said to me she wouldnt say she is crazy about me and she loves me if she didnt mean it... and that she doesnt talk bull****.

I was wondering if anyone can shed some light here, I think I maybe overanalysing and everything is fine, but after seeing her for about five days on the run the last day she goes quiet. She has said in the past that relationships in general need people to miss each other.

Grateful of any help guys thanks

 

[JDA70]

Sounds to me like everything is fine.
You 2 were with each other alot
so it got quite there that last day
NO big deal. Give her some space this week
and see what happens.
Oh and remember to be looking for other girls to date
case this one don't work out you got backup.

 

[Con-akt]

Pocket Man

Women normally dont require distance if somthing is going badly in a relationship. Their nature makes them go to you to resolves issues. Thats if she has respect for you.

You sound like you watched her in another relationship and waited around for things to break up like a little puppy in her pocket.

This isnt good. The fact you feel insecure and she used the term "in each others pockets" is another red flag.

My advice is YOU be the one to get quiet and distance yourself. It sounds like you have been too easy so far.

If she pulls back, you pull back harder. If you arent just her lil rebound buddy ( which I think you very likely are) she will seek you out and get very chatty. The point is that getting clingy and needy will drive her away garanteed. Thats the problem with focusing on one chick.

You seem to have used the love word on her as emotional blackmail because deep down you know shes flighty.

The fact you even had her confirming that she really ment it tells me you were insecure and testing her for authenticity.

Your a rebound dude. Shes a flighty chick. I wonder,....did she have a history of going awol on her last boyfriend off and on throuout the years?

If so, get ready for a wild emotional rollercoaster.

She will bail on you.

If you want more time with her dont be needy.

 

[WC2]

She's just being sensible.

Unlike a lot of men, women do typically think a lot when dedicating herself to someone exclusively. It means she can't be with anyone else, and it's a lot to crunch in her mind.

The poster above may be correct, however sometimes you do have those points in relationships where you do spend LOTS of time with each other (near holidays and such). Try to keep these to a minimum. It'll keep not only yourself out of headaches but it will keep things between both of you fresher. She may very well be feeling like you're getting a little to clingy or you're too easy for her now, so it's a good time to STEP back and let her know that you need some space for your personal time also.

As far as you saying I love you first; what's done is done. You can't thrive on the past. She reciprocated, so don't worry so much about it. However, I do think you need to step back a bit.

And remember, always abide by the rule; never get too emotionally indebted into this relationship. Remember, when the smoke clears, all you have is yourself in the end.