Can anyone explain to me why old flames always return?

drixsa

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I do not get it i really do not.

every girl at one point or another always comes back, or tries to start things up again, or starts IM'ing you online then calling.

why can't they just go away forever?

why do women do this?

somebody give me a good answer.
 

tobby

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I'm not a lady's man, but I have a lot of older sisters so I know alot about girls. Usually old flames come during the in-between boyfriend stage. When they have no boyfriend or other girls to hang out with, they call up their exes to try and hang out abit and have a "boyfriend" while they're searching for another one.
 

drZaius09

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It's very simple, its the same reason why they do anything at all--Attention! From the closest and most easily manipulated male source... and that my friend, is you. Usually it amounts to nothing more than a mindf#ck ball-tease, where you provide the ego boost and she provides the sexual frustration. It will continue until you fall to the back of the line (i.e., there are more recent exes she can exploit/that are easier to exploit), or until you start ignoring all her efforts to communicate entirely.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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They come back because of their inner need to prove to themselves that they are still desirable. Heavens forbid you don't fall for their attempts at reconciliation, or even plain friendship. If you show no interest, it hits their psyche and self esteem pretty hard.
 

PeeGee

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my ex did that to her prior ex once -- sent the guy an email with a 'we haven't talked in years let's catch up' type of thing.

Is it that hard to pretend or at least just say outright that you have no clue who she is?
 

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by PeeGee
Is it that hard to pretend or at least just say outright that you have no clue who she is?
Why pretend that you don't know her? Why not just turn her down?
 

aftershock

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They contact you for the reasons above, but there is a possibility that they want to use you for some sympathetic ex-sex.

I put exes in the box marked "Waste". I don't ever put them in the one that says "Recycling".
 

DreamyChick

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I have a question why do guys go back to their exes after 3 or 4 times when they say they have learned it won't work?
 

drixsa

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Originally posted by DreamyChick
I have a question why do guys go back to their exes after 3 or 4 times when they say they have learned it won't work?
booty call
 

DreamyChick

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Figures why work for it when you dont have to eh?
 

comminback

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I'm with drixsa, booty call.

Just be sure that you use protection AND pull out! (unless she swallows :D )

You don't want that ***** preggo, and always remember, she is an ex for a reason!!!

Comminback!
 

escobar04

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what a coincidence and a perfect topic for me

I have a question

so I open my myspace and there's a messege ( not from an ex, but froma chick that LJBF'ed me like 4 months ago and we haven't talked since then)

I decided not to reply for now

what do you advise for me to do

keep in mind, she isn't an ex
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by DreamyChick
I have a question why do guys go back to their exes after 3 or 4 times when they say they have learned it won't work?
Either an attempt to prove something to themselves or superinflated feelings of hope.
 

Porky

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I don't know.

I was under the impression that once it's over, it's over. that's it.
 

MrS

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Frncisco has the answers to this thread, mate.
 

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