Can and/or how do women tell...

[CapedCrusader08]

Who is more experienced and who isn't? My own inexperience,of sorts, is what's really been a big problem for me over the years. Ideally,the right partner would be someone who doesn't care,but we know that's a half truth right? So,what is it? Is it just automatic attraction? The way you walk/carry yourself? Signals sent off? I myself have been/felt rather isolated,rather than experienced.

Or is it just me,does my own inner state,negative or positive,affect me to the point where people just sense it?

 

[j81]

I dont post here much, just lurk, but your post got me thinking.

A few years ago I had your problem. Girls acted uninterested because they could somehow tell I was inexperienced and I never really understood how or why they knew or what to do about it. It seemed no matter what you did or said they could sense your inexperience and became instantly uninterested.

So fast forward to now. Guess what, I'm still unexperienced and a virgin. And the thing about that is...I really dont care. Some people think its a terrible thing, but I really dont care. I'm patient and comfortable with myself and accept myself in my own skin. I stopped worrying about it. Once this happened I felt different, more confident, and I even walked differently.

So guess what happens now. Women love me to death, they think I have hundreds of girls crawling all over me (I dont). They think I'm a sex god (LOL, I'm definitely NOT). They think I would be fantastic in bed (I might last 2 seconds). I even tell them I'm a virgin for fun...just for fun. And they NEVER believe me and laugh in my face. Its fun.

Fact of the matter is I could probably bang any of these girls I wanted, infact I know I could. But I'm still learning this whole thing myself, and honestly I dont have the balls yet to even do it. I have to do the same thing to that side of it as I did with caring about whether I'm experienced or not. It takes time.

I guess what I'm trying to say is if you become comfortable with yourself and stop thinking negatively things will change. Just dont worry about it man. Dont worry about being inexperienced, I sure dont. Make life fun...itll make a different man out of you and women do notice, I can say that from experience.

 

[CapedCrusader08]

Well, then, I guess I am just not happy in my own skin, and this problem has been/is bothering more than I should let it. Yet I still can't stop it. I care. I care for many reasons, cause what's the goal? To start a family,to pro-create etc, and if you can't even get that,are you doomed? Does nature weed you out? This is what I often feel angry. Angry at the experiences and expectations.

See,I don't even have girls coming up to me saying that,qualifying themselves to me. Maybe i need to take you're advice and not care. But it has bothered me for so long, I can't just shut it off. It racks my brain out. I guess it does have to come from within.

Also,I read this thread,http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=142899 I relate alot to what you say, and there is def some sound advice in there.


I guess perhaps I haven't been out in the real world enough,building enough new experiences to replace the old ones. I mean,it seems like I have gotten to be a little tightly wound.

 

[TheRealSupreme]

They can feel you by your swagger.

 

[j81]

Well you shouldnt feel angry, thats something you're going to have to take care of in order to become a more comfortable person. Its not so much about caring or not caring (may have been a bad way for me to put it), but more being patient with yourself, and having the confidence that things will be ok as long as you work towards a certain goal.

Since that thread, I have made huge progress. I didnt jump head first into it like a lot of people wanted me to not that that would of been a bad thing, but I just felt more comfortable by becoming a more social person and more comfortable around people in general before I learn to become a player, or learn how to "get girls" if you will.

I think one day I just decided that instead of being angry with myself and frustrated I was just going to change and have fun with life. You need to do the same. Forget about what happened in the past, its over, you cant change it, but the good news is you have all the power you need to change your future starting tomorrow.

Flirt for fun as much as possible, be social, talk to people, help people, its a lot of fun. Try it...

 

[WC2]

True confidence is earned by improving your true self; not denying your shortcomings and forgetting that you need to improve on them.

With that said, it's OK to instill some artificial confidence in yourself as long as you don't forget to improve what's on the inside.

Artificial confidence can work great for some time, but no matter how great of actor you may be, the people close to you will know that you're not what you crack yourself up to be.

However, as long as you're aspiring to become these things and WORKING on them instead of ignoring them, you will reach them quicker, thus really maintaining the true status and experience that you're aspiring to get.

Also, just because you walk around like you're the sh!t doesn't automatically mean you must be great in bed. Gaining experience in bed takes time with f*ckbuddies or girl friends. I've learned far more about these things in relationships than I have on one night stands.

If you're talking about being inexperienced with talking to women, then the argument is really irrelevant. If you believe you are experienced, you will talk experienced, thus you will truly be experienced in short time.

But please, don't be one of those guys who walks around and brags about sleeping with lots of women. A lot of men thinks this attracts women; it doesn't. The IDEA of you sleeping with a lot of women may turn them on subconsciously, however when you voice this consciously, their slut shield comes up and they reject it as dirtiness.

 

[CapedCrusader08]

That's were I am in a dillemma,my true self. I believe in being yourself and all that, but have this inner conflict with who I am and what I am doing,where I am going etc. This has caused some anger problems I guess.

I never have walked around like I am the ****, I always hated people that did that. People tell me I am pretty down to earth, but I suppose I do have some confidence issues. Experience in bed/with women is one of the 4 0r 5 things really been bothering me. I have little,so I feel I am not up to par,or in the position I want to be in. I mean, I can talk with people,but the whole getting to know someone,dating/sleeping with them, is just something I haven't cracked yet. And what kills me is all the years gone bye. I know, I shouldn't be doing this,but it is a habit I am trying to break.

I am not and do not want to be a braggart. Never was and didn't like people who are/were. I am also concerned about the affect looking at porn has had on me over time. As in regards to relations and expectations perhaps.

Here are some examples of some stuff: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pyAtgz_lj0&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iv543dgk-Lk&feature=channel_page

as in what to incorporate,such as interest and such,how do I do it without coming off as weird? Or handling the situation?