Can a relationship work out only if the male is in a higher status or equal to the female?

[Trump]

Let's look at a scenario like that: Assume, in the beginning, all was good, your status was high enough for her to be attracted to you and want you.

You have to define status. That word could mean 1001 different things.

To say: status -> attraction -> she wants you

Way too general.

Years past, the woman progress in her career and now holding a top job, or, open her own successful business. Now the "power" in the relationship shifted to her side.
Is it right to assume that from that point onward it's pretty much the beginning of the end, or, is the relationship can still work out despite the power shifting? and, if Yes, how it can be done?

You can’t prevent your SO from succeeding. It’s up to the individual who man to decide what’s important to him and to succeed on his own terms.

Remember men, all validation from within.

 

[The Diver]

I won't say it doesn't happen, but in most cases I don't think career status makes or breaks a relationship.

The husband post was long, I highlighted in my OP just the issue.
They are married 9 years with a 7-year-old boy, and all was great until 3 years ago when the wife opens a successful business which involved interaction with rich males. After 1.5 years the sex gradually dried out totally. He found she cheated on him with one of her rich customers and she then told him she's not loving him anymore and want to find her "Equal" . From his description, it sounds like he was the "good supporting husband" , maybe too much?.
Which arose my question: is it possible to keep your strong frame and your dominance in face of power shifting in a relationship when the wife becomes financially and status-wise more successful than the husband.

 

[sosousage]

YES, MONEY MATTERS

 

[RickTheToad]

Money matters most for the ladies. It's insane. A friend of mine started a business years ago and recently sold it off. He made off with dumb money, yet always keeps it on the DL. He was dating this chick for a few months, he was really into her. He keeps his business and personal life separate and never told her he makes so and so. She told him a few days ago she really likes him, but is concerned about his money situation. He said okay to her, that's upsetting, and he said good bye to her. He claims she wanted to stay in contact, but he declined. He's not interested in entertaining gold diggers. He said he thanked her for being honest and wished her the best. The dude earns in residuals over 10k a month. Some ladies just are oblivious on how well a guy is financially unless they see the nice watch, car, threads and traveling instagram pics.

We, as humans, have fallen so much. $$$ is the main prerogative nowadays. Truly unfortunate for both sexes.

 

[Serenity]

The husband post was long, I highlighted in my OP just the issue.
They are married 9 years with a 7-year-old boy, and all was great until 3 years ago when the wife opens a successful business which involved interaction with rich males. After 1.5 years the sex gradually dried out totally. He found she cheated on him with one of her rich customers and she then told him she's not loving him anymore and want to find her "Equal" . From his description, it sounds like he was the "good supporting husband" , maybe too much?.
Which arose my question: is it possible to keep your strong frame and your dominance in face of power shifting in a relationship when the wife becomes financially and status-wise more successful than the husband.

Well, I can't know anything for sure because I'm being told what you've been told by one side of that marriage. This idea might be extremely controversial, but it's very common for both men and women alike to minimize their part in a failed relationship when talking about it to others. He's obviously biased. Maybe he wasn't doing his part as much as he should have, maybe as you said he lost his spine and did too much because he viewed himself as inferior to her. There's a billion reasons a relationship/marriage can fail outside of the superficial things like career status.

I absolutely think you can keep your strong frame and power with a woman who advances her career and makes her bank account grow. As you say, you think the power is shifting, this is the mistake almost all men make and why it may often fail. It's a perceived power shift, it's not that she gains more power, it's that the man perceives himself as inferior. She said she wanted to find her equal, this doesn't necessarily mean a man with an equally good career and income, it could mean a man who isn't affected by it (which often would be a man of equal status and income). The problem isn't the formal status or income, it's the difference in perception, the fact that the man sees himself as lesser because of those things.

Keep the frame and never assume a woman has any more power over you or that she looks down on you, regardless of her job and income.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

It’s about leadership, respect and desire. When a man loses those things in relation to the woman in the relationship it’s a matter of time.

What enables a man to lead the relationship varies from man to man and relationship to relationship. But if you fail to lead the relationship will fail.

That was true of my marriage.

A man can still lead when the crap hits the fan and he gets knocked down. In fact thats when you see what kind of man he is. But you lose respect? You lose frame? Your days are numbered. It might be days, weeks or years, but your days are numbered.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Money matters most for the ladies. It's insane. A friend of mine started a business years ago and recently sold it off. He made off with dumb money, yet always keeps it on the DL. He was dating this chick for a few months, he was really into her. He keeps his business and personal life separate and never told her he makes so and so. She told him a few days ago she really likes him, but is concerned about his money situation. He said okay to her, that's upsetting, and he said good bye to her. He claims she wanted to stay in contact, but he declined. He's not interested in entertaining gold diggers. He said he thanked her for being honest and wished her the best. The dude earns in residuals over 10k a month. Some ladies just are oblivious on how well a guy is financially unless they see the nice watch, car, threads and traveling instagram pics.

We, as humans, have fallen so much. $$$ is the main prerogative nowadays. Truly unfortunate for both sexes.

He had a ton of self respect.

 

[thelad]

all was great until 3 years ago when the wife opens a successful business

this is because she feels inferior and wants to earn money to eventually dominate the marriage so its a power balance.I had an ex-wife she earned more money than me I didn't give a **** cos I had my own biz to concentrate on but she upped the ante in other ways so she can ****ur head up and dominate if you aren't feeling it financially. you gotta watch out for that. run when that happens.which I did.

 

[Spaz]

sure because even if related they will not lie, right?

we do know some dude keep hold of tehy woman even when she did get paid more, the reason for that don't matter if your smv is bigger or lower then her, the important is she think and belive she will always be lower then you, just again make sure you are the guy who hold the power, the same way a woman hold the power of a relationship when hubby is paid a lot more a guy can pull that, just is harder I belive, but making sure you are the one who have control over the finances will make easier

Blood relation women (on ur fathers side) has lesser incentives to lie to you as opposed to others.

And yes they have hold on their women provided they have sustained admiration and respect to properly lead that marriage.

Lose that and that marriage is doomed.....sometimes it takes years to finally get that divorce.

 

[ubercat]

On life's slings and arrows. Well if it's a reasonable lady (u did screen right) then u get a grace period. As long as u stay positive and keep swinging. Anyway unless you have kids a woman is an accessory to your life. Sometimes monk mode and regroup is the best way. Many great leaders had their wilderness years.

 

[In2theGame]

Money matters most for the ladies. It's insane. A friend of mine started a business years ago and recently sold it off. He made off with dumb money, yet always keeps it on the DL. He was dating this chick for a few months, he was really into her. He keeps his business and personal life separate and never told her he makes so and so. She told him a few days ago she really likes him, but is concerned about his money situation. He said okay to her, that's upsetting, and he said good bye to her. He claims she wanted to stay in contact, but he declined. He's not interested in entertaining gold diggers. He said he thanked her for being honest and wished her the best. The dude earns in residuals over 10k a month. Some ladies just are oblivious on how well a guy is financially unless they see the nice watch, car, threads and traveling instagram pics.

We, as humans, have fallen so much. $$$ is the main prerogative nowadays. Truly unfortunate for both sexes.

This is true. I know some guys who make millions but keep their mouths shut. Obviously the chick finds out when she goes over to their house or luxury apartment but they have no idea to what extent. A couple years ago when I got hot financially, I was pulling in a few thousand dollars a day for a good while and I would go out dressed in a t-shirt and jeans lol I still got a lot of Women but I never felt the need to "dress up" for anyone unless I need to for a business or special occasion.

I'm growing my businesses right now and I am keeping my mouth shut no matter how much I end up making. I don't know how it is anywhere else but here in NYC, you wouldn't really be able to spot a mult-millionaire unless they either told you or you saw where they lived neighborhood wise. Sometimes they would pull up to a well known lounge/club in a Lambo, Rolls Royce, Ferrari but I didn't see that too much. I would think you see that more in California.

 

[Spaz]

This is true. I know some guys who make millions but keep their mouths shut. Obviously the chick finds out when she goes over to their house or luxury apartment but they have no idea to what extent. A couple years ago when I got hot financially, I was pulling in a few thousand dollars a day for a good while and I would go out dressed in a t-shirt and jeans lol I still got a lot of Women but I never felt the need to "dress up" for anyone unless I need to for a business or special occasion.

I'm growing my businesses right now and I am keeping my mouth shut no matter how much I end up making. I don't know how it is anywhere else but here in NYC, you wouldn't really be able to spot a mult-millionaire unless they either told you or you saw where they lived neighborhood wise. Sometimes they would pull up to a well known lounge/club in a Lambo, Rolls Royce, Ferrari but I didn't see that too much. I would think you see that more in California.

You can't "hide" ur wealth/power.

Yes, you could dress shabbily but you'd still come off as being wealthy/powerful - that vibe is there and women will smell that shiet.

 

[RickTheToad]

You can't "hide" ur wealth/power.

Yes, you could dress shabbily but you'd still come off as being wealthy/powerful - that vibe is there and women will smell that shiet.

You'd be surprised little man. This dude sold a well known company for 12 million (it was in the paper, he wasn't named as he had it in a trust to protect his identity). He lives in a nice, nothing extravagant home in Stamford. You'd never know he's well off. Believe it or not, there are people who are wealthy and they do not want to show it. If you didn't know who Warren Buffet was (I.E. let's say pre-Internet), you'd never know he's the third richest man in the world. Things in South East Asia are different than the east coast, LA or Miami in the states. Then again, you live out of hotel rooms, so I understand where you're coming from.

 

[The Diver]

It’s about leadership, respect and desire.

Can a man still lead the relationship and receive respect despite the wife feels she is superior to him? or, is the wife feel superior to the man only if the man "allowed" her to feel like that? can a man hold his frame despite the woman waving her superiority flag in his face at any opportunity?
(We have here on the forum a few married men who had this issue with their wives, and from my memory, their storeys indicate that they felt trapped, helpless and sh*ity, or maybe they didn't have a strong frame, to begin with? )

 

[RickTheToad]

This is true. I know some guys who make millions but keep their mouths shut. Obviously the chick finds out when she goes over to their house or luxury apartment but they have no idea to what extent. A couple years ago when I got hot financially, I was pulling in a few thousand dollars a day for a good while and I would go out dressed in a t-shirt and jeans lol I still got a lot of Women but I never felt the need to "dress up" for anyone unless I need to for a business or special occasion.

I'm growing my businesses right now and I am keeping my mouth shut no matter how much I end up making. I don't know how it is anywhere else but here in NYC, you wouldn't really be able to spot a mult-millionaire unless they either told you or you saw where they lived neighborhood wise. Sometimes they would pull up to a well known lounge/club in a Lambo, Rolls Royce, Ferrari but I didn't see that too much. I would think you see that more in California.

Yes, I recall. I grew up in Queens. Back in the 80's it was the show off capital of the city. There was a movie you can watch on Netflix with Emily Ratajkowski and Sebastian Maniscalco called Cruise (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5034122/videoplayer/vi2687351577?ref_=tt_ov_vi). Movie was a bit slow and goofy, but it was reminiscent of the old days of Queens.

IOW, if the people who do show off have any real money in NYC, or if they are living off credit?

 

[Spaz]

You'd be surprised little man. This dude sold a well known company for 12 million (it was in the paper, he wasn't named as he had it in a trust to protect his identity). He lives in a nice, nothing extravagant home in Stamford. You'd never know he's well off. Believe it or not, there are people who are wealthy and they do not want to show it. If you didn't know who Warren Buffet was (I.E. let's say pre-Internet), you'd never know he's the third richest man in the world. Things in South East Asia are different than the east coast, LA or Miami in the states. Then again, you live out of hotel rooms, so I understand where you're coming from.

You have little inkling of what I speak since you wield almost no power and project even lesser.

 

[RickTheToad]

You have little inkling of what I speak since you wield almost no power and project even lesser.

Opinions vary my friend. Opinions vary. And you know what? Opinions are like a-s-s-h-o-l-e-s, everyone has one. You have every right to have yours.

 

[Ranger]

My sister is an RN and runs two nursing programs in two hospitals. She has a masters in nursing. Her husband is a carpenter. Their kids are all grown now.

 

[Spaz]

Opinions vary my friend. Opinions vary. And you know what? Opinions are like a-s-s-h-o-l-e-s, everyone has one. You have every right to have yours.

I am not ur therapist.

 

[RickTheToad]

I am not ur therapist.

Thank god for that. I don't think I need advice from a dude who chases ladyboys in Southeast Asian countries. Keep that stuff to yourself.