CAN a guy ever show emotions to a girl?

[spiegel549]

I have learned so much game since I have been on this site. A few recent girls I have dated due to keeping my "romantic emotions" hidden really have worked out so much better.

I have always been the type of guy that would tell a woman how much he cares for her and loves her and surprises her with trips, and flowers etc. In the long run it all came back to bite me in the ass.

Since I STOPPED doing all that. These broads act a million times more the way I want them too. THEY are the ones saying it, trying to get it out of me etc.

Its still hard to keep my emotions at bay but I have made it a mindset that even if im dying to tell a woman how much I care...I dont. It has recently worked ten times for the better.

Can you guys go into this for me? I know the basics of it, but it would be great to get some long time experienced DJs to school me.

I feel like once a man gets the girl, he lets his game go out the window..

Can a man EVER show his emotions?

 

[BabyFaceComplex]

This is where PUA flies out the window and psychology comes in which is barely understood.

This topic is barely worth going in to depth with but from my observations, the women who you hide emotions from are a sham relationship, they are being tricked in to liking you and you dont like them.

Emotions are normal, we are emotionally driven, all the women I have tried to play the silent guy with LIKED me, they also felt frustrated and confused when it ended.

You wont have a healthy relationship without both people being open, if you are gonna be the psuedo-sociopath or the insecure narcassistic bull****ter then enjoy dying alone.

90% of communication in a relationship is body language and actions, the 10% should be you reassuring them of their insecurities.

In a mature relationship lovers need to be friends aswell.

If you wanna just do PUA **** then yes dont open up to girls.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

I like the question posed here because it's one that most guys don't really know the answer to.

They come here because they've been expressing their emotions to every girl they've met and getting negative results. After they've been on these boards for a while, they do a complete 180 and try to act like they have NO emotions at all when it comes to women.

Neither one is really the correct course of action to take. However, the reason not expressing emotion works so much better is because - wait for it, wait for it...

IT'S ACTUALLY THE WOMAN'S JOB TO EXPRESS HOW SHE FEELS.

Women are the ones who are supposed to be verbalizing all this stuff, while the guy is supposed to SHOW it. Words ultimately mean nothing to a woman if you can't back it up with action, and - real talk - when men try to verbally express themselves, they do it in a way that sounds like how a girl would say it, and it's actually a romantic turn-off.

Now, this doesn't mean man shouldn't EVER speak how he feels... but I tend to follow the "3-to-1" ratio rule. Meaning: for every 3 things a girl says to me about how she feels towards me, I'll give her ONE phrase or sentence in return.

For example: I went out with a girl one time, and all day long she kept telling me how cute I looked in my outfit. I just kept saying "thank you" and turning the conversation elsewhere. However, after that 3rd time, I said "thank you," waited a few minutes, then looked at her and said, "by the way, that's a nice outfit you've got on." She lit up like a friggin' Christmas tree and cuddled up to me even closer as we were walking.

At that point, I could give her a compliment because I made her EARN it. However, I never give them out freely - like I said, I'd rather show them. Taking them out, giving them massages, going to things with them that aren't necessarily in your interest - THESE are the things you do that show you care, instead of babbling on and on like a woman about your "feelings."

Hope this helps!

 

[backbreaker]

it's very simple.

just remember this... if you are rewarding positive behavior, you can do anything you want. flowers, restaurant, whatever. as long as you are honestly rewarding tangible positive behavior, not 'beucase she is so special" lol


this is something newer guys struggle with. don't throw the baby out with the bath water.

it wasn't your nice behavior that turned women off. it was the non backbone, the unagressive/passive behavior, supplicating behavior that came along ith it that was unattractive.


with that said, you are seriously missing the forest in the trees. the real question you should be asking yourself.. the 64,000 dollar question is.



why the **** do you have romantic emotions about every girl that looks at you? Basically, you are saying that any girl that shows you attention, laughs at your jokes, has sex with you, you have romantic emotions wtih.


the problem isn't should you or shouldn't you, the problem is why do you have them in the first place.

you shouldn't WANT to do all that on a few dates.

in the context of proper frame, thus being the wmoan clearly sees you as a catch, and you clearly run the show, there is nothing wrong with showing a woman that she's your gal, women want a man to be passionate about them, they just want it to be men they want to have, not just any man. it's not the attention that they hate it's the rationale behind the attention that gets most guys. lol my wife is spoiled rotten. probably more so than my son. and she doesn't ask for ****, i like doing **** for her. But i do so specifically beucase of her actions. she's always doing stuff for me, she's the, at least my, perfect wife. and as long as she keeps being my perfect wife she won't want for anything. small **** like bringing home some really really good imported choclate (she loves choclate) or going on vacations. But what i don't do is i don't come home with flowers if we have a fight or i don't give her **** in hopes that i cang et laid or rekindle our relationship. it's the fact that i don't have to rekindle our relationship that i have no problem being affectionate towards her.

and not even buying ****, i give her foot massages just about daily, **** i am now lol. but that's really more of my thing i like feet lol. not he few times i get up earlier than she does i will make breakfast in bed and her and me and our son will sit in bed and watch cartoons, it's actually pretty fun.


in short, it's okay to have a soft(er) side, bgut it's osmething a woman has to peel back to get to. if that makes sense. and it can't be the entire food.

 

[Aristippus]

Of course a man can express emotions. The thing is, it has to be an exchange and not a one-sided situation. If you're a man who falls in love too quickly and THEN verbalizes to a woman that you hardly know that you love her, then you'll scare her off, and for good reason. What happens is if you have a man who is insecure, verbalizing his insecurity, then women get turned off.

On the other hand, if you're sizing her up and taking your time, then when you verbalize your genuine feelings, first, you won't say you love her prematurely (and the one thing that's best with a new woman is to let her be the first one who eventually says "I love you"). Once it's been established that she loves you, then you can tell her you love her. You don't have to say it every 5 minutes but every day is fine once you're in a long term relationship.

Of course, no matter what I say, someone with the wrong mindset will misinterpret it and overdo it. Then he'll say "That doesn't work!". Really, anything done with the right attitude and in moderation will work. Women love affection and they love being treated well. I guess the best comparison I could make would be, compare someone like Johnny Depp in Don Juan DeMarco with someone like Seth Rogen. In almost every movie I've ever seen Seth Rogen in, he plays this pathetic, whiney, begging role where he's basically acting sappy and trying to get some woman's attention. He comes across as pretty lame in these roles.

I'm not sure if he's like this in real life but in the movies, when he interacts with a woman he's interested in, it's painful to watch. Women like Don Juan DeMarco, and they love his way of self-expression. And the attention he shows them and how good he makes them feel. Women RUN from Seth Rogen and would probably find his attention annoying. The Seth Rogen movie persona is always one that is overly accommodating, half begging and pleading, half apologetic for inconveniencing her highness (any woman) and willing to do anything, including sacrificing his self-respect, to get the girl to like him.

So if you had to pick, would you rather be Don Juan DeMarco or Seth Rogen?

 

[PackDaddy]

This is perhaps one of the best threads I have seen yet (in my limited time on DJ). Truly insightful! Thanks Spiegel, BabyFace, Harry Wilmington, backbreaker, and Aristippus.

 

[JoeMarron]

This sums it up pretty well http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2012/11/07/intermittent-love/

 

[Renegade357]

It's dangerous when you know you like the girl more than she likes you.

With girls you don't care about it's soo easy but when you land a girl slightly out of your league it's torture. Like the other guys say just try to keep it even. It can't be all one sided. I know it's hard and I'm personally struggling with it right now.

It can be frustrating waiting for the girl to come along slowly. Almost like you are doing all the work. It messes with your head a bit and your ego makes you question why this girl isn't all over you. Self control man. Self control. Being a challenge too. We just have to keep our cool, do the right things and everything should take care of itself. One way or another.

The worst thing that can happen is you jumping the gun and then knowing afterwards that you scared her off. You don't get do-overs with women. They keep score and don't let you take back anything you say.

Good Luck.

 

[spiegel549]

Thank You ALL for responding. Harry Always enjoy reading your posts BB your blunt **** has been spot on, I thank you for that.

I just got back from a nice long weekend vacation, and it was exactly what I needed to get my mind on the right track.

I have really been cramming, reading, learning SO much information from this website its unbelievable, it really is. I reached that breaking point of being pissed off how my game was. Honestly I use to run Entertainment on a party cruise liner for years and getting laid took ZERO effort. I never got to really learn how to properly execute proper game, and how to get into the mindset of a DJ because it was never needed. I was "The Guy" that all the girls wanted to **** on vacation. After that ended, I had to get my **** straight.

Every time I was put in a position to decide whether to execute option A GAME or option Beta Game, I honestly always new which option I SHOULD choose but always pussied out.

It is completely refreshing to see that a current plate I am spinning is working out SO ****ing well. Why? Because I stopped doing all my old habits and all my old beta crap! I ACTUALLY SEE THE RESULTS its fan ****ing tastic.

FINALLY

I have been in a situation with this broad were she went from a flaker to a up my ass calling me to get together er lol.

Backbreaker you would enjoy hearing this, after I took your advice that chick you helped me with is back from out of the country and when I called to tell her what time I was going to get her tomorrow everything from her tone, her laughing, making jokes, just overall she was big time showing me that she's digging me.

I even will go so far to say that I know our date is going to go exactly how you told me it would lol.

At the end of the day

Who gives a ****? Its just 1 girl. Letting my "romantic emotions" get involved so soon like it always has, is just going to ruin my chances leaving me old & single.

NO MORE. Even if you are REALLY into a girl, and this girl is smoking hot. I REFUSE to act like a ****ing beta ***** anymore. That old self is dead. The new Alpha DJ has replaced him, and is here to stay. For ****ing ever.

Thanks Again Guys!

Keep you posted!