calm, cool, collected versus ****y and funny

[MaxLove]

it's been a question of mine for a while now. reading pook s book, one gets the idea the being ****y and funny is the way to go with women. but I've noticed that when I'm in that mindset, I act too immature and appear needy. perhaps it's not quite in my nature to be boisterous. I've found to have much better result when I am calm,cool and collected with women. perhaps that's more congruent with my nature. when I act in a more solumn and stately manner, and gaze intendly into women's eyes, I feel like I'm almost hypnotizing them; whereas trying to be ****y and funny just feels like a clown.

of course, the downside to that is that sometimes I can be too serious and no fun. it is important to not dwell on either extremes. what first you akk think?

 

[oxford comma]

if ur acting immature and needy then you're not being ****y and funny, you're being a douche bag.

 

[garruk]

the problem with ****y and funny is that EVERYONE does it these days. a typical CF line will get you no where because chances are.... theyve heard it before. so unless you can be creative, i think CF guys generally just sound like parrots.

lately ive been going out with a regular group with a pretty even mix of girls/guys. (this is so we have ratio when we go to clubs). i cant tell you how many saps come and hit on our girls with the same tired CF lines thinking they're being smooth.


i even see girls using CF in regular conversation.

 

[MaxLove]

exactly. to me cf is just insincere and fake. you can tell when someone is just putting up a show, and it's just annoying.

 

[oxford comma]

exactly. to me cf is just insincere and fake. you can tell when someone is just putting up a show, and it's just annoying.

its annoying because they are doing it wrong. dont blame a technique just because some doucher is using it wrong. a lot of douchebags wear jeans too, should we stop wearing jeans also?

 

[Chamber36]

it's been a question of mine for a while now. reading pook s book, one gets the idea the being ****y and funny is the way to go with women. but I've noticed that when I'm in that mindset, I act too immature and appear needy. perhaps it's not quite in my nature to be boisterous. I've found to have much better result when I am calm,cool and collected with women. perhaps that's more congruent with my nature. when I act in a more solumn and stately manner, and gaze intendly into women's eyes, I feel like I'm almost hypnotizing them; whereas trying to be ****y and funny just feels like a clown.

of course, the downside to that is that sometimes I can be too serious and no fun. it is important to not dwell on either extremes. what first you akk think?

I say stick to your calm collected way of getting women. I recommend you read Mark Manson's Models

If you meet an AW or a female narcissist, C and F will work really well. But it'll work better if you're bragging to someone else. Not directly towards the girl. If you ignore a girl and act C and F, you will get a reaction. If it's negative: SCREW that girl. Don't be afraid of confrontations brah.

****y and Funny is some of the funniest stuff I can think of honestly. And I only really go there when I'm really drunk. Being self-amused is important!

 

[Mike32ct]

While c&f can work, it's not essential. They are several methods of game that work.

David D. made guys think you have to run this c&f routine 24/7. You DON'T. Pepper it in here and there if you wish for fun and flirtation. Or don't use any at all.

If you are naturally a b*ll buster, it's probably good. I'm not. I personally saw my success increase when I dropped the c&f and did the calm, cool, collected, and confident. You can actually be serious without turning the women off. It works better with more mature/classy women in a bar. In a club, it can work with younger chicks if you are physically leading with kino and dancing.

 

[FairShake]

I seriously cannot fathom a relationship where I and my gf are not ****y funny towards each other. It's a part of my relationship and I think it's a part of EVERY relationship at some point. You spend enough time with someone they are going to bust your balls.

But alot of guys go overboard with it. It should be used sparingly. Otherwise you're an annoying azzhole.

 

[Mike32ct]

I seriously cannot fathom a relationship where I and my gf are not ****y funny towards each other. It's a part of my relationship and I think it's a part of EVERY relationship at some point. You spend enough time with someone they are going to bust your balls.

But alot of guys go overboard with it. It should be used sparingly. Otherwise you're an annoying azzhole.

I don't disagree. In any relationship or even in friendship, we bust on each other. I just meant that in the initial stages of pickup, it's not the ONLY way to go.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

acting will get you nowhere.. Just be yourself and be straight forward with your intentions.

And by be yourself I don't mean be the wimpy AFC you were before you found this site.. No one is AFC when they let their inhibitions go. Inhibition itself is what creates the AFC.

 

[floydb25]

It's better if you do it periodically, when the time is right, AND if its done naturally. It has to be part of your personality, and how you communicate at times. If you do it all the time, it will seem forced and fake, and people will think you're a douche bag. They also won't take you seriously, and probably hate you.

 

[Rhino]

acting will get you nowhere.. Just be yourself and be straight forward with your intentions.

And by be yourself I don't mean be the wimpy AFC you were before you found this site.. No one is AFC when they let their inhibitions go. Inhibition itself is what creates the AFC.

I agree with this. But what's to say you can't actually become funny and a little bit ****y? Personally, I was always a pretty serious and collected person, but I'm consciously observing some friends who are naturally ****y and funny and I think I'm becoming a little bit funnier when I want to be. And when you're learning to incorporate this into your social interactions, you ARE going to be acting a little bit at first. Eventually, it will become part of your character, though, and will be natural.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

I agree with this. But what's to say you can't actually become funny and a little bit ****y? Personally, I was always a pretty serious and collected person, but I'm consciously observing some friends who are naturally ****y and funny and I think I'm becoming a little bit funnier when I want to be. And when you're learning to incorporate this into your social interactions, you ARE going to be acting a little bit at first. Eventually, it will become part of your character, though, and will be natural.

It's always great to develop your personality and become what you want to, but don't do it just for girls or to appease anyone. Know what I mean? Do it because YOU want to do it.

 

[NewAndImproved]

When I first got into a game a few years ago, I only used C+F. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn't. But it was the only tool in my toolbox at the time. That was a problem.

I realized I was alienating girls who were already attracted to me before I even approached them (or in some cases, before THEY approached me). The biggest flub came in Vegas when this girl was all over me from the word go but I kept negging her, bragging and doing a whole bunch of unnecessary things. She eventually whispered something to her friend and they left. I should've just kept my mouth shut and enjoyed.

Now I have a few more tools in that box. Sometimes I'm calm and cool. Sometimes I'm high energy. Sometimes--like when you're dealing with girls with big egos--I go to C+F. It just depends on the situation.

 

[Tovansky]

like what pook said, don't be contained with the formula! you know what you are best at. If you think that women are hypnotized with the cool you, then be the coolest man they will ever encounter. Coolness, similar to patience, equals refined confidence. don't have to act or fake to be funny if you really ain't the funny type. Being fun doesn't mean you have to be funny. and coolness is also being confident and amp it up a bit and you will become slightly ****y, the level of ****ines you truly want.

 

[pdx1138]

I've found to have much better result when I am calm,cool and collected with women. perhaps that's more congruent with my nature. when I act in a more solumn and stately manner, and gaze intendly into women's eyes, I feel like I'm almost hypnotizing them; whereas trying to be ****y and funny just feels like a clown.

I do that as well, with just a little of ****y / funny thrown in.

One date I was on, she asked why I was so calm and accused me of being a player.

 

[The_411]

You have to act in a manner that does not come off as contrived and/or fake.

Being ****y and funny has to be congruent with your personaility in order for it to work appropriately.

It is and would be silly to try to act like Captain Kirk in the new Star Trek if you have a subdued personality because women will see right through you because eventually your "act" will drop and they'll pick up on the fact that your not some intergalatic bad ass who doesn't care about living or dying and will fight anyone anytime anywhere.

Try to blend in some ****y funny with your cool, calm and collected. I'm sure you are ****y and funny when hanging out with your friends so try to sue that style when you're out with the ladies.

Sometimes less is more.