Calling women out on their BS...

[squirrels]

I've been non-confrontational all my life. I've avoided fights not so much because of fear of losing (I've gotten my ass whooped before), but because of "bad blood" being possible between me and a person or group of people. I also back down from a lot of arguments because I don't want people to think I'm disagreeable. But I think that women have been socially trained to take advantage of this. And I'm starting to see it all the time.

Two perfect examples:

-The stripper I was seeing on and off, we were supposed to get together and just "watch some DVDs" (in other words: fvck, she wasn't much good for much else), but I call her a couple hours before the date and she "wants to go out," specifically to the bar where we met. (some of you have heard this story before) My gut instinct is SCREAMING, "TELL HER OFF! She has no right to change plans like this and it puts you at a disadvantage in a place you don't want to be." But I let it ride because I thought it would be unfair to her (how pu$$y is that??) Anyway, we went to the bar, she met up with one of her friends and they both went off clubbing the bar to leave me stuck with the check.

-There's this girl I've been trying to get with on and off, we went out a few times, got intimate on the second date, then suddenly she starts losing contact. Turns out she was ticked that I never came down to see her and she always had to come to see me. So I figured OK, I'll take her out. Went down there this weekend, had a fun time, tried to set up an action date for next week and she's like, "Oh I have to study, blah blah." Now I understand that she's got work and school and a lot of time is going into that, but if she REALLY wanted to see me she'd make the time. She doesn't need to study EVERY night, no one needs to do that. She makes time to hang with her friends and all. Every time we try to set up a date, she always breaks out some kind of "oh, I can't go, I have too much work to do." Last weekend I pretty much told her, "FU, you're going." And she did. And we had a GOOD TIME. But I'm getting sick of this and really want to tell her off about it, but I'm afraid that I'll be seen as "not understanding her situation with work/school/etc."

Anyway, it's just really getting to me. I have no idea where to draw the line between respecting the girl's feelings and not letting her push her own agenda on me. Seriously, I think I've bent too far one way and I feel like just snapping back the other way and telling these women, "You know what? You don't feed me this bullsh!t. I don't care about your situation, I care about how *I* feel about our interaction. If you can't put anything into it, then F*CK your problems. I don't need it."

Am I being disrespectful here? What do women expect? And should I care? It seriously stresses me out when I sit home thinking things like, "Should I call today? Should I wait to call? If I call too soon, will she feel smothered? If I call too late, will she feel neglected? If I talk to her on AIM, will she be p!ssed that I never call?"

I dont' want to live life like that. But this is a game of give-and-take...how much should I give??

 

[Tkman]

Your just thinking and analyzing to much.

TRUST me if a girl wants to see you ... she will push everything out of her way to see you ( it doesnt matter if it is exams, homework, or other bull****).

 

[Pimp-sicle]

You need to show a woman right off the bat that you dont' put up with b.s. It seems to me like your too worried about them losing interest in you in the beginning, so you bend the DJ rules a little to seem more accomadating to THEIR needs. Remember you this list, write it down and tape it on your fore-head if you have to:

The 3 most important people in this world are:

1-ME
2-ME
3-ME


Don't forget that shiat, and you won't let a dumb-ass girl disprespect you or your time again.



PIMP

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

You are working way too hard to please and accomodate a chick - if the chick says that she is busy then tell her to call you when her mind and body are liberated from their daily burdens. If she doesn't cal you then she doesn't want to see you - simple as that!

Call these girls one time and set the agenda, if they try to change it then just tell them that they could go on their own!!

If u r sweating over littlle things such as "when should I call" then you are obviously not confident that they have a high interest in keeping your company! Move on to someone who does!!

 

[Amog]

No flaming intended...

You are NOT alpha. In fact, you sound VERY AFC. Girls take advantage of you ONLY because they know they CAN because you LET them. You have supplicated to her.

It sounds like to me that the second chick you sarged **** tested you a few times and you failed and thus, she began to think you were just another beta. You did well when you told her that she was going out with you. THAT was an alpha move.

You ARE being disrespectful though. TO YOURSELF. Dont let them take advantage of you like that.

 

[Champ1]

Hey, I agree with Amog on this. You can't be acting all AFCish with these women because they detest when you act like a wuss with them. Remember, these women want a man, not another woman. They want to fill the void in their life with something different than what they have. They are female and you are male, so start acting like a MAN! I'm not trying to put you down here, I'm trying to make you realize that you have to take charge and not be lead around by a woman. Don't make women the center of your universe, make YOU the center of it. Hey, even I have questions about women and try to figure some of the things they do out, but it's not the end of the world if I can't. It's all a big fvcked up game! We all just have to play along and things will fall into their rightful place.
Champ

 

[squirrels]

So in any case, we do what *I* want when *I* want, and if she won't fall in line, then f**k her, huh?

Sounds easy enough...but how many women will I have to weed through before I find one that falls in line? And is that just a consequence of the "alpha-male" attitude?

 

[Amog]

When you tighten up your game, it will fall into place.

 

[gentleman193]

Sorry to flame, but I don't get how you ended up fukking a stripper by acting this way. Unless you paid. In that case, demand customer service. Otherwise, drop her, and find a proper woman. You cannot handle a stripper. She is a professional at using men, after all.

More over, don't put a square peg in a round hole. A guy calling himself "squirrel" is not aiming for alpha material. You are still in college. So start with some quiet, reserved, decent girl who also thinks a lot and doesn't get too much attention from other men. You will be far more satisfied, and you won't have to try to convert yourself into a self-centered macho boy just to get dates with her. She will turn out to be more exciting and sexy than you think.

On the non-confrontational front, I'm not sure that is a bad thing, but it's part of your low self image, so fix it. I'm the opposite. Too confrontational. And this makes me doubt how things will go down with each new woman, in fact, with every new person I meet. So you need to strike a balance. I have to practice picking my fights, but you have to practice picking *a* fight. And let me say, from experience, it's easy. You just setup the situation so you know someone is going to try to take advantage of you and then you can rehearse your response in advance. When it goes down it's practically character acting, and like a good battle, the prepared party wins. It works.

I think if you work on the non-confrontational side of things your whole happiness level will increase. You won't feel stepped on by the world, and you won't have to prove yourself by pursuing women that are wrong for you.

But I also have to add that if you don't work on that, you will use women to make yourself feel like a man, which in this case means having your confrontations with them instead of the people who did you wrong. The typical wife beater is not an alpha, he's an AFC who can't tell off his boss, so he beats his girl.

On the other hand, if you are too confrontational with the world like me, then you never confront your woman on anything b/c you want her to be the one person always on your side. You know these guys, they get everyone's respect, except their wife, who walks all over 'em.

So fix the way you approach the world and your relation to women will improve.

 

[WaterTiger]

Okay...here's a woman's point of view...

PUT THE GIRL IN CHECK!

First of all, that stripper episode...DUDE! I don't even want to go there. BAD idea from start to finish. You can do so much better!

The second girl....I think it's a low interest level. As previously stated, if she wants to spend time with you, she'll cancel a 6 course dinner at the White House for fries and a Coke with you at McDonalds.

If she gets flaky, CALL HER ON IT! Don't let her get away with that crap. It's a shyt test! It's how we find out how much balls a guy has. You don't have to get crude and scream. But you do have to be firm like you are repremanding a small child without making them cry. For example~

"You said you wanted to go out, now you want to study. You shouldn't say things you don't mean because people will think you're unreliable. My time is too valuable to put up with your behavior. You've got my number."

Then walk away & leave her standing there. Go find another girl! It's a SHYT TEST! Don't fail! I have faith in you, go do it!

 

[squirrels]

The stripper episode was BAD, okay? I get that. Geez, people. Enough. She was one I wanted to bang just for "bragging rights" to my friends, really. Petty, yes. But whatever.

So any time a girl pulls this crap, it's a "shyt-test?" Do you even do this subconsciously at times?

And WTF is it with everyone bashing on my username all of a sudden? It has NO meaning, NONE. It couldn't possibly have less meaning if I had intended it to. Honestly, I chose it because it's the name I use on all the other message boards I'm on, and I picked it for them just because it's the first thing that came to mind and I didn't feel like thinking about "what user name reflects ME as a person."

 

[JustDoItAlways]

Don't look at sh1t tests as a negative thing. They are positive things.

You could even spin it in terms of the girl thinks highly enough of you that she thinks you are worthy of receiving her sh1t test. She's giving you a chance to take it to the next level but she needs to know she is taking it to the next level with a worthy male man.

Chicks use tests to ensure you are the kind of guy they are looking for. Just like you should never listen to what a girl says, chicks want "real proof" that you have male balls. You can tell them till the cows come home how cool you are, how big your male balls are, but they want "proof", hence the tests.

The way to pass a sh1t test is to calmly tell the girl that you don't put up with any level of sh1t. Then you have to back it up with actions (real proof) rather than just words.

The way to tell if you are facing a sh1t test or not is to simply ask the question "I am putting up with any amount of sh1t here."

Chicks do not leave guys that put them in their place. They drop their pants for them.

Chicks are thrilled when you pass their sh1t tests the right way. They always give you a tight reward after.

Of course, you have to be reasonable about putting her in her place. You can't blow things out of proportion and come across as some kind of hot head. That's why is always safer to be calm about it. This is the response she is looking for anyway. But your "calmness" should be in proportion to the level of sh1t you are being tested with.

 

[trevor2003]

has anybody ever NEXT'ed a girl for trying to test you too much???

 

[00Kevin]

this is a bit of a msn chat message I posted in another thread.
It was with a female friend of mine who i'm not interested in.


anyway it clearly shows that women want a guy that won't put up with their bull****



Girl says:
hes hurt me a billion times
00Kevin says:
what did he do to you?
Girl says:
no one else has the ability to hurt me like he does
00Kevin says:
but why does her hurt you
00Kevin says:
does he get mad at you
Girl says:
well at one time hedescided to date someone else
00Kevin says:
hmm.. sounds like he has some backbone
Girl says:
no
Girl says:
do u think id date a worm
00Kevin says:
no
00Kevin says:
that is why you don't find Laurance attractive when you know you already have him
Girl says:
not at all true
Girl says:
i dont want to talk about this