squirrels
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2003
- Messages
- 6,628
- Reaction score
- 178
- Age
- 45
I've been non-confrontational all my life. I've avoided fights not so much because of fear of losing (I've gotten my ass whooped before), but because of "bad blood" being possible between me and a person or group of people. I also back down from a lot of arguments because I don't want people to think I'm disagreeable. But I think that women have been socially trained to take advantage of this. And I'm starting to see it all the time.
Two perfect examples:
-The stripper I was seeing on and off, we were supposed to get together and just "watch some DVDs" (in other words: fvck, she wasn't much good for much else), but I call her a couple hours before the date and she "wants to go out," specifically to the bar where we met. (some of you have heard this story before) My gut instinct is SCREAMING, "TELL HER OFF! She has no right to change plans like this and it puts you at a disadvantage in a place you don't want to be." But I let it ride because I thought it would be unfair to her (how pu$$y is that??) Anyway, we went to the bar, she met up with one of her friends and they both went off clubbing the bar to leave me stuck with the check.
-There's this girl I've been trying to get with on and off, we went out a few times, got intimate on the second date, then suddenly she starts losing contact. Turns out she was ticked that I never came down to see her and she always had to come to see me. So I figured OK, I'll take her out. Went down there this weekend, had a fun time, tried to set up an action date for next week and she's like, "Oh I have to study, blah blah." Now I understand that she's got work and school and a lot of time is going into that, but if she REALLY wanted to see me she'd make the time. She doesn't need to study EVERY night, no one needs to do that. She makes time to hang with her friends and all. Every time we try to set up a date, she always breaks out some kind of "oh, I can't go, I have too much work to do." Last weekend I pretty much told her, "FU, you're going." And she did. And we had a GOOD TIME. But I'm getting sick of this and really want to tell her off about it, but I'm afraid that I'll be seen as "not understanding her situation with work/school/etc."
Anyway, it's just really getting to me. I have no idea where to draw the line between respecting the girl's feelings and not letting her push her own agenda on me. Seriously, I think I've bent too far one way and I feel like just snapping back the other way and telling these women, "You know what? You don't feed me this bullsh!t. I don't care about your situation, I care about how *I* feel about our interaction. If you can't put anything into it, then F*CK your problems. I don't need it."
Am I being disrespectful here? What do women expect? And should I care? It seriously stresses me out when I sit home thinking things like, "Should I call today? Should I wait to call? If I call too soon, will she feel smothered? If I call too late, will she feel neglected? If I talk to her on AIM, will she be p!ssed that I never call?"
I dont' want to live life like that. But this is a game of give-and-take...how much should I give??
Two perfect examples:
-The stripper I was seeing on and off, we were supposed to get together and just "watch some DVDs" (in other words: fvck, she wasn't much good for much else), but I call her a couple hours before the date and she "wants to go out," specifically to the bar where we met. (some of you have heard this story before) My gut instinct is SCREAMING, "TELL HER OFF! She has no right to change plans like this and it puts you at a disadvantage in a place you don't want to be." But I let it ride because I thought it would be unfair to her (how pu$$y is that??) Anyway, we went to the bar, she met up with one of her friends and they both went off clubbing the bar to leave me stuck with the check.
-There's this girl I've been trying to get with on and off, we went out a few times, got intimate on the second date, then suddenly she starts losing contact. Turns out she was ticked that I never came down to see her and she always had to come to see me. So I figured OK, I'll take her out. Went down there this weekend, had a fun time, tried to set up an action date for next week and she's like, "Oh I have to study, blah blah." Now I understand that she's got work and school and a lot of time is going into that, but if she REALLY wanted to see me she'd make the time. She doesn't need to study EVERY night, no one needs to do that. She makes time to hang with her friends and all. Every time we try to set up a date, she always breaks out some kind of "oh, I can't go, I have too much work to do." Last weekend I pretty much told her, "FU, you're going." And she did. And we had a GOOD TIME. But I'm getting sick of this and really want to tell her off about it, but I'm afraid that I'll be seen as "not understanding her situation with work/school/etc."
Anyway, it's just really getting to me. I have no idea where to draw the line between respecting the girl's feelings and not letting her push her own agenda on me. Seriously, I think I've bent too far one way and I feel like just snapping back the other way and telling these women, "You know what? You don't feed me this bullsh!t. I don't care about your situation, I care about how *I* feel about our interaction. If you can't put anything into it, then F*CK your problems. I don't need it."
Am I being disrespectful here? What do women expect? And should I care? It seriously stresses me out when I sit home thinking things like, "Should I call today? Should I wait to call? If I call too soon, will she feel smothered? If I call too late, will she feel neglected? If I talk to her on AIM, will she be p!ssed that I never call?"
I dont' want to live life like that. But this is a game of give-and-take...how much should I give??