calling back?

[mikeraw]

Met this girl on Sunday. Lots of flirting. Got number. Called Tuesday. She was friendly and said she would call me back later on that night because she was out with some friends. Didn't call back.

I want to do her. Should I call back today Wednesday or what? Thursday? Next week? Drop it?

Can someone recommend me a thread on calling back or similar situations?

Thanks!

 

[Mr. Me]

Just because a girl seems interested for an hour or so, kisses you and gives you her number, doesn't mean she's interested. When you called on Tuesday and she said she was busy but would call you back, that was the sign that she wasn't interested.

Now, having said that, this was just last night. Give it some time. Wait a few days, like a week, anxious boy. Maybe she'll call. You may not be first on her list, you know?

If you don't hear back from her in a week, then call again. If you leave a message, don't say anything other than "Hi, it's Mike. Too bad I didn't catch you in. Later, bye!".

In the meantime, move on to meeting other girls.

 

[Reyaj]

Met this girl on Sunday. Lots of flirting. Got number. Called Tuesday. She was friendly and said she would call me back later on that night because she was out with some friends. Didn't call back.

I want to do her. Should I call back today Wednesday or what? Thursday? Next week? Drop it?

Can someone recommend me a thread on calling back or similar situations?

Thanks!

Read my approach journal man. This happend to me so much. I hate to break it to you but whatever happend when you met her doesn't mean jack...

 

[MacAvoy]

Jayer I've never read your journal becuase I don't do approaches and don't really have a need for it. However I can imagine the knowledge in there for people who do approaches would be golden.

You must see a pattern by now. It would be interesting to see a synopis after you reach your 100.

 

[mikeraw]

Nevermind... she texted me at 11 AM today. Said she went to another bar. I love lushes... hehehe

 

[edger]

I don't do approaches and don't really have a need for it.

So you have chix constantly approaching you?

 

[My Name is Nobody]

How about this... that girl stayed over at my place Sunday night after not seeing each other for 3 weeks.

Called her Monday and still haven't heard back from her

 

[edger]

If you don't hear back from her in a week, then call again.

Why should a guy call a chick again if she never returned his call to begin with? Yeah you can say maybe she didn't get the message, that there was some kinda phone malfunction, but what's the odds of that? The odds are extremely slim. I will only call women ONCE. If they don't bother getting back, it's their loss, and it tells me about their interest in me.

 

[Mr. Me]

Why should a guy call a chick again if she never returned his call to begin with?

Because if I posted "drop her, she's not going to return your call", he wouldn't believe me and he's still going to call her. So the only way for guys to learn is to go through it and find out for themselves.

And yes, it's true that cell phones malfunction and the message you thought you left actually sounds like this: "Hi... Zzzrrrkkk pssssssssssskkkkkkkaaaaaaaackkkk szzz szzz". But in most cases they'd still have the number on caller ID so as to be able to call back to find out who called. If they bother.

The other thing is, many women don't return calls because they've been brought up that the man does the calling initially, so especially if it's the first time you've called them, you can't expect they'll return your call. They don't want to seem desperate, you know.

That's one good reason (out of a few) why you shouldn't leave a "call me back" message.

How about this... that girl stayed over at my place Sunday night after not seeing each other for 3 weeks.

I guess her favorite top five boyfriends were busy that night?

she texted me at 11 AM today. Said she went to another bar.

Bottom line still is, she didn't call you back later that night as she promised. Keep that in the back of your head as you deal with her, don't lose sight of these little traits, and see if she keeps pulling stuff like that or if it was just a one time glitch.

 

[edger]

The other thing is, many women don't return calls because they've been brought up that the man does the calling initially, so especially if it's the first time you've called them, you can't expect they'll return your call. They don't want to seem desperate, you know.

That's one good reason (out of a few) why you shouldn't leave a "call me back" message.

I have only one grievance with what you're saying....

Even if many women have been brought up that men make the initial call, that doesn't mean they can't RETURN your call. You as the guy already made initial contact. The "initial contact" part is done. Returning a call has nothing to do with "inital contact".

And I wanna say this. Today women are initiating contact just as much as men. But that usually occurs when they have a high interest level in you.

When chix are interested in you enough, they're gonna initiate contact with you even if they don't hear from you first. Come on, look at groupies for example..do guys in bands initiate contact with these women first or make the first move? The answer is a big fat NO. These women literally THROW themselves at you before and after shows. I know that for a fact as I'm a musician and have talked to friends/aquaintances in established bands.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I guess her favorite top five boyfriends were busy that night?

It looks like I could be just a plate. Two can play this game, I'll have to make myself unavailable this weekend ...*fire's up cell phone

 

[Mr. Me]

I have only one grievance with what you're saying.... Even if many women have been brought up that men make the initial call, that doesn't mean they can't RETURN your call.

Edger, your grievance is with societal upbringing of women, not with what I'm saying!

Sure they can return your call, and nowadays many do BUT there are those that were brought up to not call back until a few dates in... so what are you gonna do? Demand or expect that they don't? You just have to factor it into the mix now and then. You may run across that particular southern belle someday.

Hey - I could give you lots of reasons why it would be nice to have the sun rise in the west, but it's just not going to happen.

Today women are initiating contact just as much as men. But that usually occurs when they have a high interest level in you.

Agreed.

look at groupies for example..do guys in bands initiate contact with these women first or make the first move? The answer is a big fat NO. These women literally THROW themselves at you before and after shows. I know that for a fact as I'm a musician

That's one reason why I'm currently in rehearsals.

It's an interesting phenomena. I walk into a place to perform a gig, unknown, I'm like just about any other guy. Except better looking, ahem. I get up on stage, sing ONE song, and people wanna meet me. Go figure.

But those women love having the limelight by association. They love being in your celebrity/performer/you are the mighty persona who commands the room world without doing anything needed to attain it themselves. That's the attraction. That's the lure. It's a bit different than the average joe's experience.

 

[mrRuckus]

Sure they can return your call, and nowadays many do BUT there are those that were brought up to not call back until a few dates in... so what are you gonna do? Demand or expect that they don't? You just have to factor it into the mix now and then. You may run across that particular southern belle someday.

This is what is frustrating about talking to women sometimes. They have such diversant ideas about things and expect you to already be thinking on that same path even though every woman has a differing range of of values between "chivalry" and "independence." And if you don't know where they fall on that scale IMMEDIATELY you are judged as less than desirable at least in that category.

You'll see this when they try to psychoanalyze you (holy fvck are they fond of being armchair psychologists) or use phrases like "obviously" that are anything but.

e.g. Girl: "noting the use of the word "borrow" as a subconscious indication of unwillingness to commit btw" WTF

 

[guru1000]

It may be true that SOME women do not return the first phone call either through habit, upbringing or reading "The Rules".

In this SCENARIO, we both lose.

However,

I make a few points VERY CLEAR on the first date through casual convo,

1) I am only interested in HIGH IL women

2) HIGH IL women will initiate contact after the 1st date

3) This is the behavior I am used to

4) If neither of us have initiated contact after a few days, I take it as a loss

5) In the exception I do initiate contact, I expect a return call

6) A personal rule of the first 3 dates: If an emergency happens and they cannot make a date (a flake), I do not keep contact after that


These points are made after I OPEN her up and she UNDERSTANDS that I UNDERSTAND.

I am called ARROGANT.

BUT,

1) Most will text or call me the next day.

2) They will NOT flake even when it is very inconvenient;

as per them

"I knew if I didn't come, you would never talk to me again."

3) The ones who do not call are put in the "SUSPECT CATEGORY" which include:

a) Too much pride or set in her ways
b) Low- Medium Interest
c) Rule Playing


I will call in 2 days ONLY if she has not initiated contact AND has shown a HIGH IL on the first date.

Otherwise,

HAVE A NICE DAY

 

[guru1000]

You have pretty strict rules which you live by. Honestly, how's your success rate with women?

Yoohoo, PLATE are you there? Answer this guy's question.

 

[cedd]

how's your success rate with women?

it's easy for any guy to deal with only ONE woman and close her...then his succes rate would be 100%. but if you deal with 20 women and spin 3 or 4 plates that gives you a 20% succes rate.
in your opinion WHAT IS THE BEST?

"You are placing the success on obtaining women, not on obtaining INTERESTED women. It is not a black and white world of “Success = Having Women” and “Failure = Staying Single.” No, it is “Success= Not being attached to UNINTERESTED women.” and “Failure = Being attached to an UNINTERESTED women.”

cheers

 

[guru1000]

it's easy for any guy to deal with only ONE woman and close her...then his succes rate would be 100%. but if you deal with 20 women and spin 3 or 4 plates that gives you a 20% succes rate.
in your opinion WHAT IS THE BEST?
cheers

Quote:
Originally Posted by anti-dump
"You are placing the success on obtaining women, not on obtaining INTERESTED women. It is not a black and white world of “Success = Having Women” and “Failure = Staying Single.” No, it is “Success= Not being attached to UNINTERESTED women.” and “Failure = Being attached to an UNINTERESTED women

Correct!

I am not a PUA. I a filterer. I filter the GARBAGE to find the WORTHWHILE. The building block of my FILTER is HIGH INTEREST.

Success with women is defined ONLY by their INTEREST LEVEL.

I can pick up 95% of women. This means NOTHING. 95% of women will not be WORTHWHILE.

I look for 1, not a 1000. The one most COMPATIBLE with me.

I will test. I want to see her REACT.

Most men come here because they accept ANYONE. They get BURNED
and ask why.

Garbage IN, Garbage OUT. If you do not SIEVE, you will fall for everyone.

If you lack SELECTION, you lack CHARACTER. There is VALUE in saying " I am not interested."

There is a LOLLIPOP born everyday. CHOOSE or you will be CHOSEN.

 

[squirrels]

Met this girl on Sunday. Lots of flirting. Got number. Called Tuesday. She was friendly and said she would call me back later on that night because she was out with some friends. Didn't call back.

I want to do her. Should I call back today Wednesday or what? Thursday? Next week? Drop it?

Can someone recommend me a thread on calling back or similar situations?

Thanks!

Out on Tuesday with friends...LOL. Women.

Chicks like this are really a numbers game.

What kind of vibe did you get from her when you got the number? Was she anxious for you to call her? Or did it seem like she was just throwing it out to you because you were cute, she was having a good time, and she might want to keep you around as a party option if nothing else is going on?

I dunno when women stopped "dating" and making time to hang out with guys, but it could really help them figure out why they can't find a good man.

Don't ever accept a girl's offer to call you back. Tell her YOU will call HER back another time. Then get off the phone. This is a bad trap and I fall into it all the time because, like a chump, I feel like when people say they'll call you back, they MEAN taht they'll call you back. Guys are like this. Girls are not.

If she blows you off with, "Can I call you back another time?" then chances are she's not calling back. She'll get swept up in whatever stream of bull**** occupies her life at that time and you'll not hear from her again.

Also, by accepting that offer, you are giving her control of the situation. You are putting the "responsibility" on her to get you two together. And most women just can't handle that responsibility. If you find one who CAN, hang on to her.

Look at what happens when you put yourself in that situation...you're calling her, thinking she'll be happy to hear from you. If she defers you, then YOU are the one waiting for HER to call. Like a little puppy waiting for his master to come home.

Don't let a girl put you off like that. F**k that. I'm not trying to be an ass here, but would Brad Pitt call a girl up and then accept her saying, "Oh, I'm out right now drinking with my girlfriends, can I call you back later??" HELL no. HELL no at ALL.

So here's what you need to do:

1) Next time a girl gives you that, "Can I call you back?", your answer is "No. I'll call you back tomorrow." Then OFF the phone.

2) Once that happens, you dial down to the next girl. What? There ISN'T a "next girl"? Well then you have a problem that needs solving.

3) This one...doesn't really matter what you do. Call her again, don't call her again...if she isn't making it easy for you to reach her, then all this "Am I doing it right" crap walking on eggshells is only gonna make you look like a b!tch. She gave you her number. You're calling her. If she doesn't allow you to make the date, it's HER loss.