Calling All TRUE Don Juans

[Player_Supreme]

Let me add:

What better validation of your beauty when you can take a player off his pedistal!

You lost the game when you put her on a pedistal and are now desperate to get her back. When you make a woman the object of your desire...you become a sucker for love as they say.

I've met so many women who know how to bend to a man and make him think that she is the "one". There is even a post on here about how this guy is now in love with this girl who even has a boyfriend...but they have great sex and she lets him do freaky things to her....

All he needed to do was open his eyes to see that despite him being a player...he had met his match. Women will let you do anything to them and will even enjoy it or pretend to enjoy it if they feel your a big enough ego boost or catch for them.


You need to get back on your game. You can't come here and learn just the techniques without actually becoming the spirit of the don juan.

It's not about learning pick up lines...it's about becoming. Your example is a prime one of being about just the techniques and not the spirit.

If you were emeshed in the player spirit...then you would never of played her " do you love me game" you would of seen through the trees to the forest of drama behind the scene.


To truely be good at this game you gotta be able to "peep game". That means see the game in every situation and come out on top...in love ...in business...in life.

A spirited player would of walked on after her drama session and not get sucked in. I do not mean to diss you...but you have no idea how many times I get this almost same story in my PM box.

And they all have felt that this girl was the "one".

In your situation you were a prime target for these types of vampires. It's not that I'm saying your girl is bad. She is emotionally needy and I call that type vampires. They have learned how to leach on to someone and suck the love juice right out of them...

good luck.

 

[looking for answers]

i know you can only answer on the material i've given so im not going to critisise because u took the time and effort to reply, which i appreciate.. but honestly its not like that.. she is actually quite innocent. For one she's a virgin... for another she's only had one proper boyfriend (the year long one) and finally, just to meet her in real life - she realy isnt like what u described.

To be honest i think its a complete accident it turned out like this.

To answer your questions..

Why is she still single? - She tells me she gets hit on a lot. But she says she only wants the "right" guy and has never been one to go out with loads of guys.

Her ex-boyfriend? - She loved him, he broke up with her and for the last 3 months of their relationship it turned really bad and he messed her around a lot. The last guy she liked before me also messed her about a lot - told her he loved her and then hooked up with a couple of her friends.

I dont think i've found a soulmate because i've got along so well with her, its more than that. We are into all the same stuff, we think the same way about almost everything, we see the world in a very similar way, we have that unspoken connection/bond thing, so no its not just cos we got on so well..
Why is she shy? Because she was bullied badly in school and did not fit in, she says the thing shes scared of the most is rejection.

In the area of giving me a kiss out of the blue. We got talking about relationships before and she said she never made the first move and that she thinks she'd always be too shy to but that if the right guy came along and she felt it was "now or never" - she'd go for it. Hence why i wasnt that surprised.

One more thing, if i'm so desperate then why am i perfectly content with not contacting her for days at a time? (since we broke up)

All i'll say is, it wud be unfair of me to critise you for giving your view, but its based on something that i dont think i explained correctly, the person you described - she really isnt like that.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

It seems as though you were being upfront and honest with her to alleviate her shyness and trying to make her feel comfortable with you and it worked too well. She fell for you hard but it was way too soon and you fell for her way too soon. You really don't know each other that well. The cart was before the horse!

You both needed to do more things together and talked a lot more face to face so that you may know one another at a deeper level. This personal interaction would have allowed you to build a level of greater trust first, then it would have been easier to get emotional and be honest with one another once this trust has been established. With shy women 'trust' is a big issue. Once you have their trust, all else is given to you freely. But trust only comes with time and actions displayed and and it cannot be forced or rushed!

I think when you complimented her and gave her positive feedback right away and was honest with her, she trusted your words but then in the next date when you started acting aloof and distant and acted as if you didn't care much, this scared her (thinking of other b/f) and she suddenly realized that she may have trusted you too much too fast and that you both were moving too fast emotionally and physically - so she guarded herself from being hurt by dramatically slowing things down and laying the rules down.

This exact same thing, quick infactuation and trust and sharing of feelings, probably happened with her last boyfriend and he left her once she totally trusted him and was severely hurt emotionally and now she is guarding her heart and her parents are warning her to do the same. Take it slow with her and make sure she is the one that initiates any emotional appeal and you should only respond in kind and nothing more. Shy women need constant assurance 'through actions and not words' that they could trust men. This takes time!!!

 

[looking for answers]

and one mroe thinng - i do believe there is a difference between the player and the don juan, i strive to be the latter.

she has not messed me about, and how do i know this? Because she's always been very interested in whats on my mind and it hasnt just always been about her. Its been pretty much 50-50 and she has showed on countless occassions that she cares a lot for me by making sure i'm ok and stuff.

my plan for getting her back is as follows. i think u'll find its not afcish at all.

she already knows what i gave her, she obviously remembers how good i made her feel and how good the thing was until the last part of the second date...

if i get on with my life and come back every now and again (meanwhile datign other people) she will miss that know what we had was unique.

moving on and taking away the one thing she wanted more than anything and wud do anything to get back is hardly afcish..

 

[Trapspringer]

Couldn't agree with PS more on this one.

One of the biggest mistakes men makes when it comes to dating is under estimating the seductive nature and cleverness of the woman. Just because a woman is young, does not always mean that she is naive to how to get a man thirsty for her.

Be careful of women who immediately vocalizes their "shyness." A pretty face + the shyness routine throws many off. If
she throws in that she is a virgin or has only been with one guy, it becomes a real powerful combo to draw a guy in.


I don't think "the one" will be this resistant and change dramatically from the 1st to second date but you can only tell so much from a post.

I say if you really want her, follow what you feel is the best advice given to you to give you a chance at making it happen. I don't think telling you to just play it laid-back at this point will help since you seem to strongly feel she is the one. Do what you have to do. But if I were you, I would let her put the effort into this one while I check out other venues.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Player_Supreme,

I don't think this girl is a manipulator - she is an inexperienced 18 year old virgin. Doesn't seem to be the ho type! But who knows with women today, you have to take what they say with a suspicious mind!!

 

[Trapspringer]

Looking for answers, man, I was writing my reply above before you even posted this and I read it-

i know you can only answer on the material i've given so im not going to critisise because u took the time and effort to reply, which i appreciate.. but honestly its not like that.. she is actually quite innocent. For one she's a virgin... for another she's only had one proper boyfriend (the year long one) and finally, just to meet her in real life - she realy isnt like what u described.

Almost exactly what I thought. Not to say that she isn't all of these things but I can say that this resume is frequently used in the dating world.

 

[looking for answers]

well, what do you guys think of this for a "plan"

- move on with my life, go out with other girls, keep improving

- go days ( or even a week) at a time with no contact

- when i do talk to her make it very interesting/thought provoking but no longer than 15 minutes, also be the first to leave.. and make no secret of my busy life with friends and girls..

- i have a webpage and my tracker lets me see who's visited. so i can see that she visits quite regularly. Use this to make her realise what she's thrown away and that i have other interests.

all of this should make her feel she's loosing me, which in theory should spark a reaction to get ME back... if not then she never liked me enough in the first place, meanwhile i get the best of both words because i move on and have fun with other girls, while making her realise my value all over again..

earliest any kind of proper relationship could develop anyway is june, as she is in a very demanding course until then, frankly i wouldnt want to interfere with that - no fun for me or her...

any comments?/ things i could add to this "plan"?

 

[Trapspringer]

Keep your distance for now until she gets back with you. You say that you had all of those feeling but her feelings for you seem to be vague. Don't defend yourself or seem like you are trying too hard. It will only push her farther away. Once she seems like she is willing to give you a chance, if ever, then you can be a bit more assuring in your ACTIONS without being too easy.

 

[NewMan]

I think this woman is one of 2 types.

1) she's a manipulator - knows what to say and when to say it. Notice how she said she was shy, inexperienced a virgin. Yet meet him at this Rock concert and made the first move on him. If she was that hurt by the last guy - and that inexperienced, I would have thought she would have been much more carefull when opening up to someone new.

2) She's extremely confused. Doesn't know what she wants - and is changing her mind constantly.

But more importantly do you see what happened here.

She got "Looking" to open up to her - to tell her how he feels... Looking has made all of the emotional do not's here.

What has she done - every time she open's up a little to him, she also add's a negative - Oh, I feel we have this close connection - but I was hurt so badly by my ex.

Oh it feels so good to kiss you - But I'm inexperienced and shy.


Has she ever just opened up to you and laid it on the line?

It doesn't sound like.

She definitley played the vunerable, I've been hurt before woman.

And looking came rushing in to make it all better.

This is not a blast on you Looking, but so many guys will meet a girl, and fall for her without really knowing her, spending time with her and figuring her out.

I think you got into this girl to quickly.

My golden rule is, never open up to a woman until you've at least seen her naked.

I've made that mistake in the past.

So now what?

This is an emotional game - you've got to play it better.


Just cut it off.

Go about your normal routine. Meet and date other women.

You've got to be emotionally stronger than her.

If she IM's you or calls - be cool. Talk to her, but act like your fine with HER decision in all of this.

All of this you should have done from the get go - and you wouldn't be in this situation. But what is done is done.

 

[Player_Supreme]

Originally posted by looking for answers
i know you can only answer on the material i've given so im not going to critisise because u took the time and effort to reply, which i appreciate.. but honestly its not like that.. she is actually quite innocent. For one she's a virgin... for another she's only had one proper boyfriend (the year long one) and finally, just to meet her in real life - she realy isnt like what u described.

To be honest i think its a complete accident it turned out like this.

To answer your questions..

Why is she still single? - She tells me she gets hit on a lot. But she says she only wants the "right" guy and has never been one to go out with loads of guys.

Her ex-boyfriend? - She loved him, he broke up with her and for the last 3 months of their relationship it turned really bad and he messed her around a lot. The last guy she liked before me also messed her about a lot - told her he loved her and then hooked up with a couple of her friends.

I dont think i've found a soulmate because i've got along so well with her, its more than that. We are into all the same stuff, we think the same way about almost everything, we see the world in a very similar way, we have that unspoken connection/bond thing, so no its not just cos we got on so well..
Why is she shy? Because she was bullied badly in school and did not fit in, she says the thing shes scared of the most is rejection.

In the area of giving me a kiss out of the blue. We got talking about relationships before and she said she never made the first move and that she thinks she'd always be too shy to but that if the right guy came along and she felt it was "now or never" - she'd go for it. Hence why i wasnt that surprised.

One more thing, if i'm so desperate then why am i perfectly content with not contacting her for days at a time? (since we broke up)

All i'll say is, it wud be unfair of me to critise you for giving your view, but its based on something that i dont think i explained correctly, the person you described - she really isnt like that.

**********************************************
Ok.

but all women are natural players. how do you know for sure if she is into the same things you are...and this doesn't make you soul mates. I've taken 2 classes on how to find your soul mate and read a couple of books on it. -21 ways to attract your soulmate by Arian Sarris..."Soul Mates by Jess Stearn" and a few others.

Just because your into the same things doesn't make you soul mates...often soul mates will be your biggest challenge...they will make you grow. Just because you get along doesn't make her your soul mate...women know how to get along...the will bend to your tastes and likes...many women lose themselves in masculine energy.

Before you start shouting "soul mate" you need to do research on what it actually means and how to recognize one.

And you can have more than one soul mate in life and you can have many of what's called twin souls.

After learning about soul mates I am focused on attracting twin souls...cause these are the souls that you have the most in common. The following email is from a woman whom I met online at the metaphysical site. She believes that we are destined to meet and fall in love:

Did you know that you are a beautiful man? I was thinking about you and pulled up your silly picture. I would have sent it to you to make you laugh if I could have figured out how to do it!!! Naaaa..the truth is..how could anyone ever laugh at that truly beautiful face!! Your light is magical..it makes me smile a mile wide. I just can't wait to hug you and hold you and laugh with you. I can't wait to share all those stupid little trivial things that make two people intimate.

Ok, so here's a teaser. I've always had one dream. To have the man I fall in love sing Ain't No Woman Like The One I Got.. by the Four Tops to me while laughing!! (or was that me?) And I love the song Treat Her Like A Lady..and my favorite Disco Song is FOXY GET OFF!!!! And the first favorite song I ever had was by Three Dog Night..Out In The Country and a tie with Pieces Of April... I wore Barry White's Songs For Someone You Love completely out in college yet managed to remain a virgin...and I lost my virginity on the anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor so I know when to celebrate every year. I was determined to be a virgin when I got married cuz my Mom said nice girls don't...but when I started pulling my hair out I finally gave in to my boyfriend of two years. The worst thing was he didn't believe me. He said no virgin can do that....I'm an Italian Aries bro..what can I tell you!! Hahaha!!


learning, laughing, sharing, caring, feeling, reeling, silly, yawning,

sleeping cradled in your arms



listening wide eyed
feelings growing
hearts building
energy flowing..


anticipation emancipation nonmanipulation ... just enjoy

touching sweetly eyes gazing souls amazing

.... you and I

And....the most important thing to me in a relationship of any kind is trust.
And the true treasure? The man that I feel comfortable enough to open the crevices of my soul to without ever wincing at the thought of doing so.

You feel so real to me C ... Is that possible?

Have I told you lately that you touch the very heart of my soul?

Do you feel it growing C ? Do you feel it?
************************************************

We share so much in common it's not even funny. It is my belief that we are twin souls because we share so much in common.


I have more to say but I am in a debate with my ex-priest friend on the concept of soul mates.

 

[Player_Supreme]

Originally posted by looking for answers
and one mroe thinng - i do believe there is a difference between the player and the don juan, i strive to be the latter.

she has not messed me about, and how do i know this? Because she's always been very interested in whats on my mind and it hasnt just always been about her. Its been pretty much 50-50 and she has showed on countless occassions that she cares a lot for me by making sure i'm ok and stuff.

my plan for getting her back is as follows. i think u'll find its not afcish at all.

she already knows what i gave her, she obviously remembers how good i made her feel and how good the thing was until the last part of the second date...

if i get on with my life and come back every now and again (meanwhile datign other people) she will miss that know what we had was unique.

moving on and taking away the one thing she wanted more than anything and wud do anything to get back is hardly afcish..

"i do believe there is a difference between the player and the don juan"

If you want to believe that, then so be it. I ment to use the word don juan and continue using it...I moderate at a site for players and fell back into the more comfortable "word". But re-read what I said and substitute the correct word Don Juan where I slipped up and used "player"

 

[Player_Supreme]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
Player_Supreme,

I don't think this girl is a manipulator - she is an inexperienced 18 year old virgin. Doesn't seem to be the ho type! But who knows with women today, you have to take what they say with a suspicious mind!!

All women are manipulators. That is their way. It is natures way to make up for their lack of physical strength. They know how to manipulate their fathers at a young age. By 18 with all the social development young women go through they are well versed in how to get their way.

I ment no disrespect to his friend. I just recognized the pattern. And with all the other guys who PM me. Their women were about the same age also.

This is the age that women really begin to express their womanly power over men. Their bodies reach full maturity and development and they learn how men think.

I mean no dissrespect towards women to say that they are natural manipulators either. I am just a realist. I don't believe in the innocent angels. There is too much tv. magazines, girlfriends social hour that have prepared women for the war ahead.

I'm not a woman hater but a woman lover... I long ago sought to understand them...and that is what I'm speaking from


I knew this kid would get defensive over my words PRL. I'm surprised he didn't get down right mad. I applaud his self -control. Sometimes reality is a harsh pill.

If this innocent angel had no game skills....then why is he on this site posting his woes.

She may not be a master of it yet...but give her time.

 

[Player_Supreme]

Originally posted by Trapspringer
Couldn't agree with PS more on this one.

One of the biggest mistakes men makes when it comes to dating is under estimating the seductive nature and cleverness of the woman. Just because a woman is young, does not always mean that she is naive to how to get a man thirsty for her.

Be careful of women who immediately vocalizes their "shyness." A pretty face + the shyness routine throws many off. If
she throws in that she is a virgin or has only been with one guy, it becomes a real powerful combo to draw a guy in.


I don't think "the one" will be this resistant and change dramatically from the 1st to second date but you can only tell so much from a post.

I say if you really want her, follow what you feel is the best advice given to you to give you a chance at making it happen. I don't think telling you to just play it laid-back at this point will help since you seem to strongly feel she is the one. Do what you have to do. But if I were you, I would let her put the effort into this one while I check out other venues.

someone who sees reality...thumbs up.

Your right alot of so called Don Juans or Players fall for the innocent angel ones. My PM box is full of messages from them.

Something about good girls excite men and make us want to keep them by any means neccessary. Good girls are suppose to be sweet and innocent and shy and loving...that is their nature...and their lure.

But they are still women with woman instincts. Just as we are men with men instincts.

 

[Player_Supreme]

Lastly this girl being a virgin has nothing to do with the issue. Whether she has slept with 1-10 or more men doesn't effect the issue.

Her style is that of the good girl. Like I posted above. She is suppose to be all that and a bag of chips.

You need to step back and look at the situation and peep game.

yes go out and continue being a don juan. if it's ment to happen then it will

you did lose your don juan card because you broke the rule. never put them on a pedistal and make having them that important.

(notice I did use the correct word this time)


A pla...don juan doesn't make a woman/ soulmate/twin soul/female/girl/goodgirl/ or whatever label you want to put on her the source of his happiness.

when you do you end up just as you are right now. desperate and frustrated. I know you claim that your dating a bunch of women right now...but the reality of it is, is that your on this site posting your woes cause your allowing yourself to get emotionally caught up.

you can't stand the thought of losing her. it's driving you to....complaining about it and putting the soulmate label on it...and even if she is or isn't...is not the issue.

the real issue is that YOU and only YOU want HER back in YOUR life. read this again and you will see how you've fallen from your state of mind (don juan not player).

 

[looking for answers]

why exactly would she go to the trouble?
why exactly would she put so much into it, just to manipulate me?

know what..

i take what you say on board, but i believe i am in a position to judge.

i have met this girl and i know she is not acting. Why would she?
its an act she would have had to keep up for too long, i mean why bother?

here's what i believe

she was being honest.

wow - profound concept.

can i just say - trust me - if you met this girl, you would not think what player supreme said was even slightly correct.

you just have to take a leap of faith me on this, and i am not blinded by my feelings, i've learned to detach myself quite a bit from them since it happened. They obviously exist, but i can see everything clearly enough and i know she's not the person PS is making her out to be...

any thoughts on my plan?

 

[Player_Supreme]

Originally posted by looking for answers
well, what do you guys think of this for a "plan"

- move on with my life, go out with other girls, keep improving

- go days ( or even a week) at a time with no contact

- when i do talk to her make it very interesting/thought provoking but no longer than 15 minutes, also be the first to leave.. and make no secret of my busy life with friends and girls..

- i have a webpage and my tracker lets me see who's visited. so i can see that she visits quite regularly. Use this to make her realise what she's thrown away and that i have other interests.

all of this should make her feel she's loosing me, which in theory should spark a reaction to get ME back... if not then she never liked me enough in the first place, meanwhile i get the best of both words because i move on and have fun with other girls, while making her realise my value all over again..

earliest any kind of proper relationship could develop anyway is june, as she is in a very demanding course until then, frankly i wouldnt want to interfere with that - no fun for me or her...

any comments?/ things i could add to this "plan"?

Good Plan.

If she is a soul mate then it will happen. That is the way those things work. Relax and let it go.

Good luck again. Once again I mean no diss to your woman friend. I just needed to explain a bit of reality from my point of view. I'm sure she is sweet and innocent.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

P_S

Yes, I agree that all women are manipulators becuase they have no other power over the man than to affect him emotionally because of his natural desire to be with a female mate.

However, I would subscribe different degrees to women manipulators... from the trivial innocent I want to get my way kind, to the downright evil man-haters who are selfish hors and have no regards for the feelings or concern of others. I would put this one, based on DJ looking's description, on the lower end of the manipulator scale.

But I believe a man should never fully trust a woman's word and should keep his eyes open to her actions only!!!

P_S, I agree with your assessment of this situation if she is of the kind that you stated. Only DJ Looking can determine where she is on the manipulator scale. Looking, she is manipulating you, but the question is to what degree is it filled with sincerity and to what degree is the manipulation for selfish reasons.

Looking, if she is the person you say she is, then do as I recommended in my above post - this is a trust issue and only time will correct it!!

 

[Player_Supreme]

Originally posted by looking for answers
why exactly would she go to the trouble?
why exactly would she put so much into it, just to manipulate me?

know what..

i take what you say on board, but i believe i am in a position to judge.

i have met this girl and i know she is not acting. Why would she?
its an act she would have had to keep up for too long, i mean why bother?

here's what i believe

she was being honest.

wow - profound concept.

can i just say - trust me - if you met this girl, you would not think what player supreme said was even slightly correct.

you just have to take a leap of faith me on this, and i am not blinded by my feelings, i've learned to detach myself quite a bit from them since it happened. They obviously exist, but i can see everything clearly enough and i know she's not the person PS is making her out to be...

any thoughts on my plan?

I said she was probably a "good" girl. But she is also a woman. I've already explained what I ment by that.

Im not saying she is a evil manipulator out to take over "da" world.

She is a woman. She wants a man. She wants a man who will give her LOTS of love and affection. Look at her own upbringing and her life and you will see it.

Your don juan techniques are not what she is looking for. she wants a SYMP (sympathizer to women). A man who will lay down his coat over a puddle for her. That is in essence a "good" girl.

Nothing wrong with that. But even good girls will create drama or get all confused about whom they want in their lives. Even good girls know how to push buttons on a instinctive level.

I'm didn't say she was doing this deliberately. Re-read my post. I even said it's probably instinctive on her part.

What I'm talking about is YOU.

You do need to get back into the spirt of being a don juan as I stated right above.

 

[Player_Supreme]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
P_S

Yes, I agree that all women are manipulators becuase they have no other power over the man than to affect him emotionally because of his natural desire to be with a female mate.

However, I would subscribe different degrees to women manipulators... from the trivial innocent I want to get my way kind, to the downright evil man-haters who are selfish hors and have no regards for the feelings or concern of others. I would put this one, based on DJ looking's description, on the lower end of the manipulator scale.

But I believe a man should never fully trust a woman's word and should keep his eyes open to her actions only!!!

P_S, I agree with your assessment of this situation if she is of the kind that you stated. Only DJ Looking can determine where she is on the manipulator scale. Looking, she is manipulating you, but the question is to what degree is it filled with sincerity and to what degree is the manipulation for selfish reasons.

Looking, if she is the person you say she is, then do as I recommended in my above post - this is a trust issue and only time will correct it!!

Yeah that's the phrase I was looking for. the degree of her manipulation is probably instinctive or unconscious.

But women are still better players or don juans than men. They can out last the best of us...out think us...out communicate us...and out fawk us...that's why they need men like the ultimate players to remind them of their place...lol