Calling all fathers.... HELP!

[InLawsHateMe]

Originally posted by dietzcoi
Yes, dietzcoi is right....

I hope i am wrong for your sake but I have to tell you your story sounds like a slow spiral to disaster. My only regret is that I cannot help you and others. I can only warn those who have not yet bought into the AFC married/childbearing lifestyle "DON't DO IT!"

Myfriednblu - glad you are taking heed. I would sell my soul to the devil to have had this board and the internet in existence in 1983. I would be rich, retired and skiing instead of sitting at work writing to you guys!

Dietzcoi

dietzcoi... I appriciate the replies.... for real bro... but you have to understand this fact.... I HAVE WHAT I WANT, AND HOW I WANT IT!.... I have the son I've always wanted, without the marriage aspects.... I didn't have to quit smoking, or drinking.... but I did, for myself, and my son.... the baby, has my last name, not hers... any drama, is drama that is brought up by my lack of understanding.... I can come and go as I please.... she has her own place, I have mine.... if she is PP'd... so long as she doesn't get the urge to kill our son, I'm totally fine with it... so you see.... I have what I want, with minimal headaches...

 

[white_hype]

solutin is simple:

kino the baby, kino it hard (if its a girl even better but dont let gender stop you); give plenty of mini take aways (babies love this stuff, gets the laughing/interested). Use a lot of CF, heavy of the F. After a few days the baby should be all over your sh1t, like white on rice, but the next part is crucial. I advice doing this BEFORE you get the number (i know most Djs will say u gotta take that baby out! wtf u thinking, just cause its a baby doesnt mean it has feelings/needs etc, but just trust me, ive dealt with more babies than u DJs could ever imagince so i speak from experience.
OK so when you/baby are alone (shouldnt be hard to do, u can isolate by saying "let me borrow the baby for 5 mins ill brb") ask it for a massage, then, THEN go in for a kiss on the neck, slowly working ur way up to its lips. the baby will basically cream his/her pants and BAM! the baby is yours. After this let the baby decide who he/she wants to be with and i GUARANTEE the baby will choose u

 

[CyranoDeBergerac]

White_hype you silly deranged little man...

 

[InLawsHateMe]

Originally posted by ( . )( . )
ive just become a father aswell (12 days ago) so i have a fair idea what your going through, the way i see it is like this, chicks do a total 180 when they have a new child, her priorities TOTALLY change so much so that you can forget about the old her,and your role to her takes a back seat, ive accepted this and am just going to go with it, as long as she lets me see my daughter il be fine,which she does.

Congrats to you a.... Titties.....(?) ... ..on your baby!

 

[InLawsHateMe]

Originally posted by white_hype
solutin is simple:

kino the baby, kino it hard (if its a girl even better but dont let gender stop you); give plenty of mini take aways (babies love this stuff, gets the laughing/interested). Use a lot of CF, heavy of the F. After a few days the baby should be all over your sh1t, like white on rice, but the next part is crucial. I advice doing this BEFORE you get the number (i know most Djs will say u gotta take that baby out! wtf u thinking, just cause its a baby doesnt mean it has feelings/needs etc, but just trust me, ive dealt with more babies than u DJs could ever imagince so i speak from experience.
OK so when you/baby are alone (shouldnt be hard to do, u can isolate by saying "let me borrow the baby for 5 mins ill brb") ask it for a massage, then, THEN go in for a kiss on the neck, slowly working ur way up to its lips. the baby will basically cream his/her pants and BAM! the baby is yours. After this let the baby decide who he/she wants to be with and i GUARANTEE the baby will choose u

White.. I said DJ Fathers.... .......not AFC's ....but thanks for trying my man. LOL!!!!

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by InLawsHateMe
Congrats to you a.... Titties.....(?) ... ..on your baby!

thanks mate, and likewise.

waking up out of my AFC slumber , and her are the best things that have ever happened to me.

 

[InLawsHateMe]

Are you having to deal with the same crap I am?

 

[drixsa]

congrats again Inlaws (i'm still waiting for you to send me the baby pics!)

but i do not see a relationship where you living in one place and her living in another working out long term.

i am actually glad to see that two people are not going for the shotgun marrige and making all the mistakes that go along with that...

but when you aren't there all the time you miss a lot espically if she has to call you before you come over to help.

maybe it's just me but i'd be pissed if the parent of my child needed to be called to help instead of just coming over and spending most of their time with their child.

i don't know how it works with you and your girl but in most cases i'd say that she shouldn't have to call when she needs help, you should just be there.

all this DJ, AFC, whatever stuff means sh*t now its just about stepping up to the plate and being a responsible man. It just doesn't seem fair for you to be complaing about her not calling you when she has to take care of this newborn 24-7.

best of luck and looking forward to checking out some cute pictures

 

[InLawsHateMe]

I'm telling you... I feel like a stranger there..... she hardly talks to me, and I totally feel unwanted. I want to see my kid, but I dunno....?

 

[CyranoDeBergerac]

Originally posted by InLawsHateMe
I'm telling you... I feel like a stranger there..... she hardly talks to me, and I totally feel unwanted. I want to see my kid, but I dunno....?

*A phone rings and you answer* Yes, InLaws?

This is the voice of reason with a wake up call for you. You just insinuated that you were allowing your own insecurities about how the mother feels towards you infringe upon your time spent being with your first born son. Because of this I've been compelled by your b@lls to deliver the following message:

DON'T!!!

Thank you and have a nice day.

-CyranoDeBergerac

 

[Sexy_Malibu]

First off, congrats to Inlaws... & (.)(.) too

she no longer calls me, and since I want to see the baby, I'll call her... where as before, I wouldn't even bother calling, I would do my own thing until she calls

::cough:: Hypocrite ::cough:: Did you ever consider that maybe she might feel like you only call her to see the baby... and if there was no baby, then maybe you wouldn't call at all... You say you feel as if you are unwanted, maybe she is feeling the same way?

I mean, she really isn't thinking about anything BUT the baby.. no love, nothing... so should I try to be affectionate? Should I do the same and just focus on the baby?

She's a new mother. That's what she's supposed to be doing. Not thinking about anything but the baby. It's maternal instinct (and hormonal to some extent too I think). The baby need her right now. You're a big guy, get over your insecurities and realize that the reason you feel less important than the baby in her eyes, is that you ARE less important than the baby (and not just in her eyes). That baby needs the attention now, please don't let your insecurities come out as jealousy.

I mean, it's been 3 weeks already... this can't be Baby Blues...

ONLY THREE WEEKS!? Oh my god... give it some time. I didn't even stop feeling the pain from my labor and delivery after a three measly weeks. Let alone the "baby blues" (which can last a long time) and the sleep deprivations and the overall exhaustion and stress of being a new mother.

My advice to you is this: Help her. Show her affection and love. Show the baby affection and love. And lastly DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY if she does not reciprocate. It's not that abnormal. You'll only make it worse if you start to resent her for it, or start to think "ok she doesn't want me around, I won't be around." What she probably needs now is encouragement and help (both emotional and actual HELP with the baby).

maybe it's just me but i'd be pissed if the parent of my child needed to be called to help instead of just coming over and spending most of their time with their child.

i don't know how it works with you and your girl but in most cases i'd say that she shouldn't have to call when she needs help, you should just be there.

all this DJ, AFC, whatever stuff means sh*t now its just about stepping up to the plate and being a responsible man. It just doesn't seem fair for you to be complaing about her not calling you when she has to take care of this newborn 24-7.

Word drixsa.