Caller ID -- Must Be Defeated At All Costs!

[negotiator]

>You are welcome to do things your own way, but man, your average number/date ratio is gonna be horrible!

BBJ, just wanted to comment on this number/date ratio. The behaviour of a guy in these kind of situations will be most likely determined by the number of phone numbers he is able to get, say per month.

If one guy gets 50 phone numbers per month, and if another guy gets only 5, then their behaviour at the time of dropping the chick will be different.

The right move for the guy with 50 phone numbers is to drop a chick as soon as he sees a disinterest on her part. Yes, this will leave her with only 5 women out of 50 but their interest level will be so high that, he will probably bang all 5 without much effort.
He has to be that strict because he cannot even deal with more than 5 of them.

The guy with 5 phone numbers, on the other hand can't do this, because he might lose all of the 5 girls in a month and may need to wait another month to get laid.

The example is a little bit extreme but the moral of the story is, a guy can stick to his standards, play hard to get or move on easily over a girl ONLY WHEN he is sure of himself and comfortable enough to get as many numbers as he wants, whenever he wants.

I think this is a very important point.

negotiator

 

[swigue]

Listen,
I'm gonna post this and then not even look at this thread again b/c its f-cking pissing me off.

1)If you leave a message and a girl is interested in you she will call you back.
Exception #1-> She doesn't get the message. (Rare)

Exception #2-> She is out of town, dead ,etc. (Extremely Rare)

2)These dating rules that you guys have implanted in your head are a waste of time. You spend time thinking about going to f-cking payphones! PAYPHONES!!! Do you realize how asinine that is? Forget all this crap!!!

Getting a first date is not that hard, its the stuff after that that is.

Just talk to them and realize that if you things aren't going along naturally (i.e. she isn't calling you back), she probably doesn't like you!
Who cares? There are billions of them out there. There isn't any gold tucked away under that one's skirt, that the next one doesn't have as well!

Seriously, I live with 2 girls. I watch them interact with guys all the time. If a guy calls who they met at a bar. They 1)talk to me about him and are hoping he will call 2)ALWAYS CALL HIM BACK.
There's your field research!
So you guys can waste your time getting satellite codes to disable Caller ID in Monte Negro while I'm enjoying myself and spending my time becoming a better more attractive person.

 

[BGC]

OK, so BBJ and I are in agreement on e-mail and pay phones.

Some of you are in agreement on expecting a chick to call you back.

Do what works for you. What better way of behaving?

BBJ and others who are interested in this serious issue,

I just left a message for this older brawd to call me back. I did so because we'd e-mail each other twice each, and the reasoning, or the theory, as I have yet to test it, is that if a brawd responds to your e-mail, she'll respond to your phone calls.

I'll report as to whether she calls me back.

One last thing.

Chris wrote: "I don't have that much invested. One lunch. Maybe you're looking for one-night stands- that's really not my aim (although I'm not opposed to the idea ). And I have a date with another one lined up in a few days. I still have a job, too.

Fukk you, Chris. Who said anything about my job?

After this comment, I have a hard time caring whether you ever drill this brawd, so don't anticipate me offering you my thoughts (unless you show some kind of acknowledgement that you were being a biitch).

Later, bros.

------------------
"A life spent making mistakes is not only more honourable but more useful than a life spent in doing nothing."

--George Bernard Shaw


[This message has been edited by BGC (edited 02-09-2001).]

 

[Survivor]

First things first.

Don Juanita, although I still don't agree with your rule not to call guys that are interested in you, it wasn't my intention to insult you in my last post. If I did, I sincerely apologize. Your posts are insightful and I genuinely appreciate you for writing them.

Second,

Originally posted by BigBadJon:
You know why I like BGC? Because he obviously does field research. He has realized that right or wrong, ridiculous or not, there are BARRIERS that often prevent people from getting together. The more we understand these obstacles and work to overcome them, the better off we will be.

If you're implying that I don't practice what I learn on this site, then you obviously haven't been reading my "Heartbreak Survivor" series, where I chronicle every success and failure I make in the field. I've been fortunate that the women I've been dating recently have been honest, forthright and generally fun to be around. As you may or may not know from my previous posts, that hasn't always been the case for me. I know those "barriers" are part of reality. I just chose to overcome them in a manner that doesn't compromise my self-respect, which I value more than any woman's interest. That's just how I do things now.

Originally posted by BigBadJon:
You said if you call a few times and she doesn't pick up, she isn't interested. People have LIVES, myself included…. That has to do with the rapid pace of life, and isn't something that should'nt be an obstacle, but it is.

Its only an obstacle if she had a life, and I didn't. But I do have a life. And remember, she is under scrutiny too. The key is spotting a pattern of repeated behavior. True, she may have work to do, a family to support, etc. I agree with you on that. If she has a lot of responsibilities I have no choice but to respect that. However, if she doesn't respect me or my time, i.e. our schedules always conflict , repeat, ALWAYS conflict, and she never compromises, I can only assume two things:

1) She's interested but doesn't have time to develop a relationship.
2) She's not interested and is hoping that I take the hint.

Either way, I'm forced to move on.

Originally posted by BigBadJon:
You said if she were interested when she met you, she would see your name on caller ID and call you back. I would go as far as to say that 99.9999999% or ALL WOMEN would NEVER call back. The minute percentage that WOULD, I would have reservations about dating. I would see her as desperate.

All percentages aside, I would go as far as to say that only interested women call you back. If after calling three times then leaving a message, all those women turn out to be desperate, then they are not the problem. You are. When I was getting low quality dates, I took responsibility and changed my character for the better, not my techniques.

Originally posted by BigBadJon:
You've been around this site for awhile Survivor, I thought you knew better! Now you're talking like it's all over once you get the #, and you can let your guard down. Talking to her on the phone in the initial stages of a relationship is still a first impression. The first couple of dates are still a first impression. You will be scrutinized and sized up by her LONG after your initial meeting.

That's not what I meant. Without a good first impression, ie. appearance,demeanor and personality, a guy may not even get the digits, let alone the date. The first few dates are a factor, but not as much as when she sees you for the first time.

Originally posted by BigBadJon:
This isn't deception at all. Not any more so than cutting a date short after an hour because you are "busy", …I didn't create the game, I just find my own way to play it to get what I want from it. BTW....I can afford a few quarter calls.

Maybe "deception" was a bad word to use. "Investment" would have been better. What I was trying say was while techniques do have their place, (I use them often myself.) at some point you have to step back and decide whether or not you're playing yourself. Upon which you have to cut your losses and move on. I mentioned the quarter calls because it represents the investment in time and energy you are making to seem "busy" in what may or not become a healthy relationship. A lot of the techniques on the site I use often, but calling from a payphone seems a bit much. But hey, I won't knock it completely until I've tried it myself.

Point is, Caller ID isn't the issue. The issue is knowing when to say "Enough with phone calls, emails and techniques. I'm cutting my losses and moving on."

I just would rather keep things simple. Ask for the home number, then the date. Anything other than a yes is a no.

Plain and simple.

Thanks BBJ for the constructive criticism.

[This message has been edited by Survivor (edited 02-09-2001).]

[This message has been edited by Survivor (edited 02-09-2001).]

 

[Don Juanita]

First things:
I was never offended, ok honey?

Seconds:
I"m going to try to explain the 'wanting a message but not calling back theory'

To me, a man who doesn't have the balls to leave me a message is not someone I'd want to date. It doesn't matter that I"m not calling him back, because he DOESN'T KNOW that. All he knows is that he's calling me, but was unable to reach me. You are all looking at this with added perception. You KNOW that I"m not going to call back, so you question the message. Let's say you didn't know. Let's say you meet me at the market and you think I"m sooooooooooo hot. So you ask for my number and I give it to you. Obviously I gave you my number, so I have interest. You never met me before, so you have no clue If I'm going to call you back or not. When you get to your house and the idea of calling me arises, what are you going to do? Leave a message or flake out?
The man who flakes out will lose his chaces.

I always appreciate a message. If the guy says he'll try again, and mentions a time or something, I"m going to be home for his call.

It's like a test I give to men. The type of men who don't want a girl who will not call them back, are insecure men who are dating lots of other woman besides me. I don't want to get involved with a man like that.

DO YOU GET IT NOW?

Juanita

 

[Gator Ash]

I would have to respectfully disagree with your post. As a man, I do not automatically assume a woman has given her phone number because she is interested in me. I've had all kinds of girls give me their numbers, from those who were very interested all the way to girls who've were in committed relationships for several years. It seems that some girls simply give their numbers to get you off their back or to be polite. My question to you would be how the heck would some girl I've just met, relatively speaking, would raise my interest level to the point where I would keep calling when she doesn't return my calls? Maybe if I were 16 years old I could understand that but as an adult male I cannot.

[This message has been edited by Gator Ash (edited 02-10-2001).]

 

[BigBadJon]

Survivor, I wasn't criticising, I'm just trying to look out for you man!

Obviously we each have a different set of circumstances that lead us to conclude the best way to handle certain situations, my experience has led me to believe that it doesn't always so much have to do with INTEREST LEVEL as CIRCUMSTANCES that turn good prospects into a no-go. Since there is no outline to explain the 'rules of engagement', and the roles of each gender being harder to define in modern times, I have had to adapt my style to get what I want out of life.

Originally posted by Don Juanita:
To me, a man who doesn't have the balls to leave me a message is not someone I'd want to date.

Juanita, it isn't about having balls. It is about KNOWING that the MAJORITY of women (such as yourself) will not return the call if we do leave a message.

Look at this from a guy's point of view. If the guy does call when you aren't around, he knows better than to leave a message asking you to call him back, because chances are you WON'T.

If he just leaves a message saying he will try again later, no big deal. No big deal as long as he is able to reach you on his next try. Cause if he calls again and gets the machine, he begins to seem desperate. In his own eyes AND in yours. Every time he calls, putting EFFORT into trying to get to know you and gets nothing in return, it's another strike against him.

If he calls and leaves no message, it's just as bad (actually WORSE as you have kindly shown us) since most people have caller ID. If we use a payphone, friend's line, or work line, there are no strikes against us. And don't deny that there are strikes given!

It doesn't matter that I"m not calling him back, because he DOESN'T KNOW that.

You really need to give us more credit. After 12 or whatever years of dating ups and downs I have figured out that MOST women will not return a call before the first date. Do you honestly think that you are the ONLY woman that thinks this way?

Obviously I gave you my number, so I have interest.

Ok now, either you are a wonderful exception to women as I KNOW THEM, or you are just incredibly naive, but women give out their numbers without being interested ALL THE TIME. They often give out the number VERY ENTHUSIASTICALLY only to AVOID us or STAND US UP for dates. You would think that a chick who enjoys making out with you within two hours of meeting you would possibly want to see you again since she gives you her number, but I can tell you it doesn't always work that way.

I always appreciate a message. If the guy says he'll try again, and mentions a time or something, I"m going to be home for his call.

I have a hard time believing you would cancel plans to wait around for a call when all the guy did was leave you a message.

Only one more question, then I'll give this a rest.

Would you RESPOND to an EMAIL sent from a guy you just met? BE HONEST!

 

[Surfboard]

WHY DO YOU GUYS ALWAYS ASK FOR THE PHONE NUMBER BEFORE YOU ASK FOR A DATE?

Do you think this makes you look desperate, or are you afraid of being rejected in front of the woman?

I'm looking for a woman with high interest, not just so-so interest.

If you think that you've built enough rapport with the woman then tell her that you'd like to continue this another time. This is when you set up a lunch/coffee date for another time.

If the woman's interested in you she'll agree to a time and place. If she's not interested then she'll give you the excuses.

I'll know right then just how much interest she has in me. I won't have to be worrying about all the B/S that you guys are going through with the phone and answering machine.

 

[Survivor]

Originally posted by Don Jaunita:
It's like a test I give to men. The type of men who don't want a girl who will not call them back, are insecure men who are dating lots of other woman besides me. I don't want to get involved with a man like that.

DO YOU GET IT NOW?

Kinda get it. You'd rather leave it up to chance that he actually reaches you than risk rejection by calling him back. That way, whether he succeeds or not, you ultimately save face. Its not fair, but I guess that's reality.

Sweetheart, I don't want you to end up with some womanizing jerk either. But you gotta realize that the man of your dreams is not insecure, he's mature. The man of your dreams understands that caller id boxes and answering machines do not erase themselves. Plus he may not want to invest too much of his heart into a relationship so early either, no matter how beautiful you are. Remember, he's taking a necessary risk by contacting you. If your'e interested in him, its not asking too much to call him back, after he's left one message on your machine, of course.

And if he doesn't return your call, fuk him. (not literally.) Your'e still confident. Your'e still beautiful, baby. Just say the word and every DJ on this site will track him down and give him a royal azz whoopin' in your name.

How 'bout that?

Originally posted by BigBadJon:
Obviously we each have a different set of circumstances that lead us to conclude the best way to handle certain situations, my experience has led me to believe that it doesn't always so much have to do with INTEREST LEVEL as CIRCUMSTANCES that turn good prospects into a no-go.

No offense taken, my friend. In fact, I'm glad you looked out for me. There were some things that did need clarifying.

But you gotta agree with me on this:

Caller ID is irrelevant. Whether its due to low interest or bad circumstances, a man still has to use some common sense in determining how much pursuit any woman is worth.

By all means, use payphones and email if you think it will help your cause. If it works, heck, I'll try it too. My only hope is that you don't compromise your self-respect in process. Like I told Juanita, caller id boxes and answering machines do not erase themselves.

My solution to the Caller ID "problem" is simple, but takes some self-improvement to pull off. Make a good first impressionand hope for outside circumstances that allow for real dates to insue.

With a good first impression, any woman with a fair amount of decency, class and confidence in herself will have high interest in you. High interest is the knife that cuts through all this "Caller ID" crap. If she's mature, confident, interested and available,she will call you back!

But that's just my opinion. Do what works best for you.

[This message has been edited by Survivor (edited 02-10-2001).]

 

[ChrisFl]

> Who said anything about my job?

You did, not me.


> After this comment, I have a hard time caring whether you ever drill this brawd

Damn. I might as well give up then, because the only reason I got her number in the first place was to impress you.

Why the hostility, man? If your comments directed at me had come from any of 95% of the guys out there, I would have just ignored them, but that post doesn't sound like you. Did you let your 12-year-old neighbor boy write it for you, because it sounds like the kid was about to go crying to mommy?

Where's the dude who gets all the phone numbers? That takes some balls; where did they go?

[This message has been edited by ChrisFl (edited 02-11-2001).]

 

[maranathaman]

"It's like a test I give to men. The type of men who don't want a girl who will not call them back, are insecure men who are dating lots of other woman besides me. I don't want to get involved with a man like that."

If I call you, and leave you a voicemail, and you don't have the decency to return my call, in my book, that makes you an impolite bi-atch who is not worth my furthur time.
Come-on Juanita, what's a guy supposed to think? How would YOU feel if you got your nerve-up to call a guy, and left him a message and he didn't call you back?
Your "Test" goes both ways...I can learn as much about you as you learn about me when you play those games. I will glady leave you a message the first time I call and you're not available, but if you don't return my call, don't expect me to call back! That doesn't make me a playa, that makes me a person who expects to be treated with respect and common courtesy. Get-it?
~Andy

 

[BGC]

Originally posted by ChrisFl:
> Who said anything about my job?

You did, not me.


> After this comment, I have a hard time caring whether you ever drill this brawd

Damn. I might as well give up then, because the only reason I got her number in the first place was to impress you.

Why the hostility, man? If your comments directed at me had come from any of 95% of the guys out there, I would have just ignored them, but that post doesn't sound like you. Did you let your 12-year-old neighbor boy write it for you, because it sounds like the kid was about to go crying to mommy?

Where's the dude who gets all the phone numbers? That takes some balls; where did they go?

[This message has been edited by ChrisFl (edited 02-11-2001).]

You're a biitch, fukk off.

BBJ,

WE know just what the fukk is going on, man.

I'm glad we came to this understanding: that we don't call on our lines before having a first date, that we use pay phones if we have to call, and that we try to get an e-mail addy that the brawd checks with decent frequency.


I mentioned that I had an e-mail exchange with a brawd I met at a bar -- we each sent to e-mails.

I tried calling her after the e-mail exchange, and reached her machine, and then I LEFT A MESSAGE DIRECTLY TELLING HER TO CALL ME.

I said, "Hey ----, it's ----. Just got your e-mail today, so I couldn't call at 9:30 last night. Call me. My number is ---------. Bye bye."

So did she call?

She did indeed.

At nearly 10:00 p.m. the night I left the message.

Now get this.

We're meeting for drinks.

But you guys remember the Sisonphy trick of telling the brawd to meet at your place, and ring the bell, then you'll come out and you can walk to the place together?

Well I did this.

And she agreed -- so she's going to show up at my place at 8:30 p.m., tomorrow night, Tuesday night.

And did I mentioned she's 20 years older than me?! And pretty hot? And that when we spoke on the phone she was very kitten-like-seductive?

I'm gonna bone her, guys!

 

[MsThang]

Why don't you just dial *67? It's free and your number won't appear on the caller ID. Seems pretty damn simple to me.

 

[bclarke675]

For me, caller ID is a good thing. Let me explain.

I called this gal one week after I got her number and got her answering machine. I DIDN'T leave a message, and because she had caller ID, SHE called me back the next day!

We went out, and now we're dating, and she's been chasing me the entire time! I'm 44, she's 32. I''m slightly above average looking, she's an 8 or 9.

Now I'm working on finding another one, so I don't focus too much on this one. I'm not quite ready to settle down yet, unless I get to know the woman well enough to know I can trust her. That means I'll need to keep the pressure off long enough to get that information.

 

[Paradox]

'Archives'

 

[dudley]

Get CallerID block.

 

[Neophyte]

Simple trick to use!!! at least in Belgium!!!


If you type *31* before you dial the real number then your number won't be visible on the other side!!!!

You can look for a similar function in your country or ask your phone company.

Cya,
Neo

 

[ABM]

use a cell phone if you don't want your name to be on the caller ID. it will just say cellular call or unavailable or something

------------------
if you don't practice, you don't deserve to dream

 

[JJMcLure]

bump. because people ask about this topic all the time.

 

[Owned]

Why does this **** need to be bumped????

It's 2004 and everyone knows everyone that calls as you are most likely to use a cellphone anyway.