Call vs. Text

[teddy]

So what's the decision on this?

I really feel like texting is the new calling. Everyone texts and it has conveniences that calling doesn't offer. It doesn't put you on the spot and avoids the logistical issues if someone misses a call.

However, because it is rarer, it can be perceived as more personal/special, which could be an advantage, but also could come off as being too strong.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Texting > Calling

Save calls for women you're actually f*cking. The more you do things that are inconvenient for you in order to pander to the perceived needs of the woman.. the more desperate and low value you seem.

Stop the pedestalization.

 

[JohnnyStorm]

I think with randomers off of POF etc, you'll probably have to call. I imagine most girls will label you as a randomer/potential weirdo if you don't.

But if you've actually met the girl then texting to set up a date is fine.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Calling >>>>>

Everyone texts and it has conveniences that calling doesn't offer.

Which is exactly why you shouldn't do it. In the game you have to set yourself a part from the crowd and actually calling women as opposed to texting them do exactly that.

It doesn't put you on the spot

Which is why I say that cats use texting as a crutch.

and avoids the logistical issues if someone misses a call.

That's only after the date is set though.

However, because it is rarer, it can be perceived as more personal/special, which could be an advantage,

Exactly.

but also could come off as being too strong.

How?

 

[PlayHer Man]

Which is exactly why you shouldn't do it. In the game you have to set yourself a part from the crowd and actually calling women as opposed to texting them do exactly that.

You "set yourself apart" by having VALUE.

Pandering or "working harder" than other guys doesn't show value.. it shows you are a desperate faggot. Working harder than other men is a good way to "show" you are a great beta provider. If that's the goal then do it.

Calling is more inconvenient for everyone and if a woman is at work or with friends or family at the time.. she probably won't pick up OR call back.

Making your life harder to make a woman's life easier because you think it will lead to p*ssy is the very definition of beta faggot.

 

[Dgwizdal]

Hate talking on the phone unless I need something done NOW or a discussion needs to be had - texting is way better and I hate doing that too. The only time I'm texting is to banter or bust her balls and setting up the next date/hookup etc. Half of texts that are meaningless get unreturned or delayed 2 hours by me cause I just don't give a f*ck or am doing something else.

Less is more especially when your texts create quality (value) over quantity.

EDIT: And 80% of the time I am NOT the initiater

 

[TheCWord]

I don't mean to be cynical - I don't know much about some of the other posters on here, how much they date, how successful they are with women - but anytime I see guys writing about phone calls > texting, I gotta wonder if they've actually put that idea into practice, if maybe they are in their 40s or 50s, if they live in a different part of the world, or what...

I'm 29 and date girls around the same age but often younger. I live in a major North American city. I don't count the exact number of notches in my belt but I've slept with about 30 women. My early to mid twenties were taken up with an LTR and my late twenties have been very busy dating/banging numerous women. After a short trip to oneitis-ville in 2012, 2013 was one of my busiest years (thanks in no small part to a lot of inner-work I did via stuff learned on SoSuave).

You can decide how you feel about that resume and take my advice with whatever size grain of salt you like. My take on texting vs calling: the idea of phoning a girl in 2014 sounds ludicrous and I believe it would be off-putting to a modern woman. Maybe a girlfriend or long-term plate, but I can say with confidence that if a girl in my city got a phone call from a guy she just met she would consider him CREEPY.

You read some of these articles that have become canon of the DJ/SoSuave community and they have great stuff in them, but there is also a lot of antiquated advice. Much of it still applies but, let's face it, many articles are dated from 2002-2004. I still read articles that put in bold, "remember to ask for her HOME phone number." Can you imagine being at a bar in 2014 and saying to a girl, "what's your home phone number?" She doesn't even have a home phone!

I've gotta believe that anybody who is not a keyboard jockey would know that texting is the preferred method of contact for modern women - at least those in their 20s/30s in North America.

Obvious Disclaimer: Don't text too much and use it primarily for setting up dates.

 

[teddy]

I'm talking about mostly to set up dates.

 

[teddy]

I don't mean to be cynical - I don't know much about some of the other posters on here, how much they date, how successful they are with women - but anytime I see guys writing about phone calls > texting, I gotta wonder if they've actually put that idea into practice, if maybe they are in their 40s or 50s, if they live in a different part of the world, or what...

I'm 29 and date girls around the same age but often younger. I live in a major North American city. I don't count the exact number of notches in my belt but I've slept with about 30 women. My early to mid twenties were taken up with an LTR and my late twenties have been very busy dating/banging numerous women. After a short trip to oneitis-ville in 2012, 2013 was one of my busiest years (thanks in no small part to a lot of inner-work I did via stuff learned on SoSuave).

You can decide how you feel about that resume and take my advice with whatever size grain of salt you like. My take on texting vs calling: the idea of phoning a girl in 2014 sounds ludicrous and I believe it would be off-putting to a modern woman. Maybe a girlfriend or long-term plate, but I can say with confidence that if a girl in my city got a phone call from a guy she just met she would consider him CREEPY.

You read some of these articles that have become canon of the DJ/SoSuave community and they have great stuff in them, but there is also a lot of antiquated advice. Much of it still applies but, let's face it, many articles are dated from 2002-2004. I still read articles that put in bold, "remember to ask for her HOME phone number." Can you imagine being at a bar in 2014 and saying to a girl, "what's your home phone number?" She doesn't even have a home phone!

I've gotta believe that anybody who is not a keyboard jockey would know that texting is the preferred method of contact for modern women - at least those in their 20s/30s in North America.

Obvious Disclaimer: Don't text too much and use it primarily for setting up dates.

Thanks. What were the articles/topics on this site that helped you the most in your transformation? What are the critical things I should read?

 

[Partizan]

Calling is just more inconvenient for both parties. It also goes against the law of least effort.

 

[TheCWord]

Thanks. What were the articles/topics on this site that helped you the most in your transformation? What are the critical things I should read?

I recommend reading The Book Of Pook because his focus is on improving the self and less about tactics to trick girls into liking you (which ultimately fail long term because your true self will eventually show).

After that, if you are more inclined to just date a few quality women (my preference) rather than banging anything with a pulse, read through Anti-Dump's Machine which is also a Pook series.

 

[Don_Dom]

To me, it depends on how you met.

If contact was made face to face then texting is fine. Just use it to set up dates though. As has been discussed in a zillion threads here, you can get into trouble trying to be clever or funny in texts so if you are going to have actual conversation, ask to take it to s phone call. But you should be saving that for your dates anyway. The exception being older women may be more comfortable with a phone call.

If you met online (and haven't met yet) then have a phone call. It's just basic internet safety for all involved. You need to know that they are who they say they are. The last thing you need is to show up and find that they are a 15 year old girl or a 60 year old man. There are, indeed, people who are so deluded that they think if they can get a face to face meeting theycwill be able to charm you into overlooking whatever it was they misled you about that they knew would have been a deal breaker. Granted, I only do online for kink and you have to be extra careful with that but, in my book, no meeting till we've exchanged pics and had a phone call.

In most cases to are fine with texting, tho. I prefer calls myself, but
I'mm in my 40s. For the reasons others gave, texting is probably the way to go.

 

[pdx1138]

So what's the decision on this?

I really feel like texting is the new calling. Everyone texts and it has conveniences that calling doesn't offer. It doesn't put you on the spot and avoids the logistical issues if someone misses a call.

However, because it is rarer, it can be perceived as more personal/special, which could be an advantage, but also could come off as being too strong.

You should search the forum, this has been discussed endlessly since the beginning of time.

If a girl is TRULY interested in you it doesn't matter one way or the other.
And if her getting with you hinged on that anyway, she isn't worth it.

 

[Maximus Rex]

We're Basically Saying the Same Thing

You "set yourself apart" by having VALUE.

Pandering or "working harder" than other guys doesn't show value.. it shows you are a desperate faggot. Working harder than other men is a good way to "show" you are a great beta provider. If that's the goal then do it.

That's my point, if the chick has value in you, she'll speak to you on the phone.

Calling is more inconvenient for everyone and if a woman is at work or with friends or family at the time.. she probably won't pick up OR call back.

Come, PHM, that post is demeaning to high quality of your posts. Of course she isn't going to talk to you if she's at work, with family, or out with friends. I'm talking these dudes who trying to everything from building rapport, getting the date, and securing sex all via texting. Texts are for short messages.

My take on texting vs calling: the idea of phoning a girl in 2014 sounds ludicrous and I believe it would be off-putting to a modern woman. Maybe a girlfriend or long-term plate, but I can say with confidence that if a girl in my city got a phone call from a guy she just met she would consider him CREEPY.

Enter the celebrity theory, if Bruno Mars wanted to talk to a chick on the phone, do think the chick would find him "creepy?" It's not the chick that finds talking on the phone "creepy," it's the dude. If that b*tch likes you enough she'll contact you via Morse code by reflecting sunlight off a mirror. If you're letting a chick dictate the terms under which you're contacting her, what else are you going to let her dictate?

 

[bukowski_merit]

Through text alone: I can charm a girls panties wet with the best of them.

And I endorse texting...


However, since I don't go on dates, and just invite women over to my place - I've come to learn - inviting them over can sometimes become a road block in text.

If I text a girl: Hey, why don't you come over here Friday night and share a few drinks & laughs while we get to know each other.

I expect resistance....

If I tell her the same exact thing on the phone - I get almost no resistance.

In fact, last Saturday afternoon, I was trying to get a girl over my house. And was doing it through text, and she was just being annoyingly resistant to coming over.

So, I just called her.

Within 30 seconds of talking to her - she agreed to show up and we both laughed about it.


--

Do what figure out works for you. Don't worry about anything else or any other opinion.

 

[PlayHer Man]

That's my point, if the chick has value in you, she'll speak to you on the phone.

But why do you want to talk to HER on the phone when you can just text? What grown man wants to "chat" on the phone with a woman? Are you trying to get laid or gossip about celebrities and listen to her talk about her day? :crackup:

Come, PHM, that post is demeaning to high quality of your posts. Of course she isn't going to talk to you if she's at work, with family, or out with friends. I'm talking these dudes who trying to everything from building rapport, getting the date, and securing sex all via texting. Texts are for short messages.

Yes.. short messages. Unless you are face to face with a girl there is no reason for any long conversations. Again: What grown man wants to "chat" on the phone with a woman?

You want to get FACE TO FACE as soon as possible.. not chat on the phone.

Enter the celebrity theory, if Bruno Mars wanted to talk to a chick on the phone, do think the chick would find him "creepy?" It's not the chick that finds talking on the phone "creepy," it's the dude. If that b*tch likes you enough she'll contact you via Morse code by reflecting sunlight off a mirror. If you're letting a chick dictate the terms under which you're contacting her, what else are you going to let her dictate?

But you just said above that you "differentiate yourself" by calling. So it sounds like YOU are the one letting the chick dictate the terms. :crackup:

Texting is more convenient for you. The whole point of having a girl's number is to set up FACE TO FACE meetings.. not to chat on the phone like one of her girlfriends.

 

[DragonBlood]

If I text a girl: Hey, why don't you come over here Friday night and share a few drinks & laughs while we get to know each other.

I expect resistance....

If I tell her the same exact thing on the phone - I get almost no resistance.

This is my thinking and experiance too buko.


Whats not being discussed is the disadvantages of texting.

It gives the girl more time to play games, mull it over with the girls who will almost definitely **** block and very easy to get blue balled altogether. Your giving the girl and unlimited time to return the message. Not much different giving a girl your number and her to get back to you really. You are no longer driving the momentum in the conversation.


With the phone though, there is no 'delayed response' to your message, you can also convey more from your tone of voice and probably get a good idea if the girl is for real in her interest there and then.

Ive had success with just text, but if the girl is showing resistance that is the time to stop texting and get straight to the point.

 

[Mr Wright]

I'm definitely part of the calling girls is a bit weird camp, simply because no one really does it. The last thing you want is her thinking, why the f*ck is this guy calling me? I met him once, must be an eager bastard.

You want to be avoiding her asking herself questions like that about you. It's like when you're pulling a girl home back to yours from a club, you shut the f*ck up and get her talking about something superficial and random. If she starts thinking about you too rationally, too early on, she will talk herself out of things. So if you're calling her early on, these days you'll just get that weird question mark over your head. The truth is with girls, the more you run your mouth, the more likely you'll say something that could f*ck it up. Lead, get her talking, then shut up and adjust when necessary. I text her because I want to meet up, meet up because I want to shag her and shag her because I'm a horny bastard.

The only people I speak to on the phone are my parents, cab companies, 2 girls in particular(f*cking both of them) and my guy friends.

 

[Yewki]

I like calling first after getting the number, usually unexpected and makes an impression. After that, texting... more convenient and "safer", as in it's harder to f**k up.