Call her out on her bs?

James184

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Been dating this girl over the last month and a half.Long story short,she told me she wanted to see me the day before she left to see her parents (which was 3 days ago) and would let me know if she had the time to go out after packing her stuff.Turns out she had the time to go out but chose to hang out with a friend of hers.Her grace even had the decency to let me know she was going out with her friend,completely ignoring her previous statement that she would spend her time with me if she could,acting like she never told such a thing.

Now,I don't plan on dating her anymore,this is disrespectful behavior and a huge red flag in my book.Thing is,even after taking hours upon hours to reply and doing so in a cold way,she keeps on texting me.So I thought next time she hit me up i would bring up the issue and see her reaction to me calling her out.The other way to go is to ignore her completely but I have this weird feeling inside telling me that doing so in a way is like letting her getting away with this.What do you guys think?
 

James184

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Ghost her. If she won't back up her words with action, she is not worth your time or thoughts.
Of course she is not.I have already made up my mind about not dating her anymore.This is more of an internal matter.Many times in the past I had hesitated to call women out just because i was into them and I really want to get rid of that attitude.
 

sazc

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If I'm going to date someone exclusively I expect them to make me a priority and/or integrate me into group-friendly outings in case of conflicts such as these.
That behavior signals LOW ILand I would ghost immediately and not look back.
 

Trump

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It's too late to call her out now. You have to call her out AT THAT MOMENT. Otherwise it will seem like you went home, got tons of advice on a comeback, picked one, and waited one week later to tell her. Pretty foolish.

But you HAVE TO call them out. If you don't call them out, they will think you deaf, dumb, and indifferent. She will think "Wow, I can put this guy down and make a fool of him, and since so enamoured by my beauty and desperate for a girlfriend and sex, he won't even say anything."

ALWAYS respond to any type of disrespect. Otherwise they are laughing at you.

Come on men! o_O
 

James184

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That was the only thing really holding me back from calling her out.The fact that it has been 2 days since the incident and I run the risk of looking like an idiot bringing this up now.I agree that I should have done so at that very moment but I didn't even bother bringing it up.However,as I told you this is more of an an internal matter so it has been bugging me due to past experience.
 

ubercat

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I think it's more like puppy training. You have to smack them on the nose with the newspaper as soon as they've messed on the rug. Two days later you can guarantee she won't be thinking about it. With woman it's the daily weather guys seldom anything else.
 

El Payaso

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You should have called her out the moment she told you she would spend the time with her friend instead.

What you can do now is just to spend your time on something else or with someone else. She obviously doesn't think too highly of you.
 

RangerMIke

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I have a different take. Confronting chicks is a waste of time. They do not argue logically, you will just get into a stupid emotional BS argument that you can not win, because there are no rules in the the emotional chick brain. Confronting her will only devolve into you being a "controlling bast@rd".

You should just read his for what it is.... her interest is waning. A chick that likes you will not do sh!t like this. No amount of reasonable discussion will make her like you again. The ONLY way you can do this is to walk the fvck away from her. You can not demand respect, she has to WANT to respect you... the ONLY way that happens is if she KNOWS you have other options and you you will simply walk away for situations like this.

Women are not stupid... telling her she disrespected you just tells her what she already knows.... She's just trying to see what she can get away with.
 

sazc

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when you tell people that you are upset with the way you are being treated, and they respond with some bullchit about you being controlling, it's SUCH a cop out. it basically means "I dont want to have to deal with your feelings, so i am going to try to bully you into shutting up" Someone who tells you to 'get over it' and/or 'you're not going to manipulate me with your feelings' is also someone who doesn't give a rats ass about how you feel. These people need to be walked away from. Go find someone who cares and wants to invest.

@James184 the thing to realize here is this is not a female who has your/the relationships best interest at heart. For whatever reason she wants to do her thing and place you second, and, yes, she knows her choice was poor. It's not your fault she is behaving this way, she has a character flaw. Walk away and go find someone who s going to treat you well. or turn her into a plate while you look for something better.
 

dude99

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Been dating this girl over the last month and a half.Long story short,she told me she wanted to see me the day before she left to see her parents (which was 3 days ago) and would let me know if she had the time to go out after packing her stuff.Turns out she had the time to go out but chose to hang out with a friend of hers.Her grace even had the decency to let me know she was going out with her friend,completely ignoring her previous statement that she would spend her time with me if she could,acting like she never told such a thing.

Now,I don't plan on dating her anymore,this is disrespectful behavior and a huge red flag in my book.Thing is,even after taking hours upon hours to reply and doing so in a cold way,she keeps on texting me.So I thought next time she hit me up i would bring up the issue and see her reaction to me calling her out.The other way to go is to ignore her completely but I have this weird feeling inside telling me that doing so in a way is like letting her getting away with this.What do you guys think?
Don't bother. It will just be feeding her drama and that might be exactly what she wants.

You can treat this one of 2 ways. Next. Cut all ties her and move on and date new women.

Or

Make her your 9th or 10th priority on your list.

Remember girls love drama. They love to pick fights. Pointing out her BS will just feed the beast. Your actions will say more to her than anything else.
 

hockeyfreak79

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The irony is she's meeting up with this "friend" to probably b*tch about you or talk to her about this new guy that's giving her tingles.

It's most definitely on the lines of flakey behavior and like Ranger said her IL is waning. It sounds like she thinks she has you wrapped around her finger.

I partially agree with calling woman out. If it's a RL then yes it needs to be done asap and make a mental note of it. (Red flag counter)

"Thing is,even after taking hours upon hours to reply and doing so in a cold way,she keeps on texting me."

I missed this the first time reading it.

Boom you know what you need to do.
 

Trump

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I personally don't like going overt.

I used to bollock women all the time, and I found it not to be that effective. It changes behaviour for a short while - doesn't really deal with the underlying nature. Far better to just swim with the tide, IMO. Surf on the waves of interest level.
See the point. In my opinion, you you don't call them on it, they are laughing at you that you are so desperate to be with them. It will build up build up build up and suddenly you will explode and do something drastic to yourself or someone else. All because a girl got under your skin. Walking away is easy. But to respond in a witty and smart manner that you know what time is, I think much better approach.

No one can change anybody. But no one can take you as a fool either. o_O
 

bigneil

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It's too late to call her out now. You have to call her out AT THAT MOMENT. Otherwise it will seem like you went home, got tons of advice on a comeback, picked one, and waited one week later to tell her. Pretty foolish.

But you HAVE TO call them out. If you don't call them out, they will think you deaf, dumb, and indifferent. She will think "Wow, I can put this guy down and make a fool of him, and since so enamoured by my beauty and desperate for a girlfriend and sex, he won't even say anything."

ALWAYS respond to any type of disrespect. Otherwise they are laughing at you.

Come on men! o_O
"A successful seducer calls a woman out on her bs" - Louis/Copeland 2000
 

MrOctober

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Once you have to start calling her out it becomes a fragile situation.

Your here so you really like this girl.
But I'd go ghost and wouldn't overkill the calling out. Just call it out like in the outfield "I got it".
"Your ****up was x,y,z" and go ghost let her think about her actions.
 

sazc

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if you cal her out make sure you do it right before you slam the door on her a$$
She's low IL. Calling her out and then sticking around is going to make her see you as a/her doormat.
I dont know you, and I am sure you are nobody's doormat. The only reason to mention it is to let her know she's a b1tch, and then exit.
IMO
 

sazc

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Yep one month in, this ship has run it's course.
Technically they are still in the 'honeymoon' phase. So here we are, and shes decided he isnt the guy for her OR she is testing his frame...
This is why it is so important to keep your heart divested of the other person for (IMO) at least 6 months.
By 6 months you should know if the other person is for you, and that feeling should get stronger as time goes by, not fade, and not be questioning
 
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