Call after first date?

[NewMike]

Ok, so I had my first date last night with a new girl I met 2 weeks back.

Date went awesome, kiss closed, and everything went perfect. It was left at "I had a really good time".

Now I've read that its a good thing to call the next day and tell the person you had a good time, yada yada.

What do you guys think? Is that too afc-ish? Or?

If I do call today, do I schedule date number 2 while on this call? or?

Whaddya think?

 

[matius]

I say don't call her for atleast a few days.

 

[Ronin I]

I posted the exact same question a couple weeks back.

I took a girl out on a Thur and was going to initially call her back the next day and set up another date for that Sunday.

I was advised to wait (which I did) and she wound up calling me on Sat to tell me again that she had a great time. We wound up hanging out again that Mon. night and again on Thur.

So I say wait a couple of days and see if she calls you. If she does it's a pretty good indicator that her IL is high.

 

[Slashco]

Be careful that you don't fall into the trap of both of you wanting to gauge the other's interest, and waiting for the other to call. Just call her the next day, say you had a great time, maybe suggest another date or something. As long as you keep it short and casual, there is nothing AFC-ish about that. AFC would be calling her 17 times a day and sending a dozen roses to her apartment, or something.

 

[NewMike]

Ok, I left a message. She hasnt called back yet. Should I not call until she does? or is it ok to call again in a day? Thoughts?

 

[Legend]

what until she returns your call now...if it does'nt in like two days, give a call to see whats up.

 

[Legend]

*wait

Its been a long day, my bad

 

[Slashco]

Originally posted by NewMike
Ok, I left a message. She hasnt called back yet. Should I not call until she does? or is it ok to call again in a day? Thoughts?

It's up to her now. If you fill her machine with messages, you'll come off as desperate. If she doesn't call back, perhaps she is no longer interested?

 

[stallion]

I don't think its ever a good idea to use the answering machine at any point of the dating process until the girl becomes your gf.

Also, I don't think you should call just to tell the girl that you had a good time. You should only use the phone to arrange dates, not talk. Just mention the previous date in your next date.

 

[matius]

Man, why did you call her?

 

[intomyown]

I think its okay that you called. Just don't do it again, you need to wait now. She will call you.

I was in the exact situation last week but didn't call like you did. Sure enough she called me Sunday night, three days after the date.

Your date is probably thinking that you will call. When you don't it makes her start thinking about you and shows you're unpredictable. When she does get the nerve to call you she is hotter for you then she was before and you haven't even had to work for it.

 

[Slashco]

Originally posted by intomyown
I think its okay that you called. Just don't do it again, you need to wait now. She will call you.

I was in the exact situation last week but didn't call like you did. Sure enough she called me Sunday night, three days after the date.

Your date is probably thinking that you will call. When you don't it makes her start thinking about you and shows you're unpredictable. When she does get the nerve to call you she is hotter for you then she was before and you haven't even had to work for it.

I don't necessarily agree with that. What if she waits for you to call (having been raised in a society where men are supposed to initiate these things), and you don't call, and she starts thinking perhaps you forgot, and you don't care as much about her as she thought? In this case, her interest might actually go down. I think a short, friendly call to say you had a good time and propose another date would be fine. Just don't go overboard and make her feel suffocated.

 

[icehot]

Dude, what were you thinking calling her the next day???!!

Every Dj knows that you wait a minimum of three days to call.

And when you did call you shouldn't have left a message!

Read the bible!!

-iceH

 

[junglist]

Call her again, leave a message about how it was the best date of your life and how you are falling for her.

Then call back again three minutes later and ask why she hasn't called u back.

Then call back again to say you're sorry for calling so much... then start crying and tell her how much you miss her and can't stand to be apart from her...


seriously, u shouldn't have called and u DEFINATELY shouldn't have left a message. I suggest you get out of the house for the rest of the day so that she doesn't get the impression that u were waiting for her to call back, if she does that is.

 

[Slashco]

True, I forgot to mention you shouldn't leave a message if she isn't there. It makes you appear needy, like you _have to_ talk to her, and suddenly you're not as interesting But I still think one short call is ok.

 

[Howie Farkes]

True, I forgot to mention you shouldn't leave a message if she isn't there.

This may be gospel according to the DJ Bible, but sheesh that's some petty sh!t.

I can absolutely understand the reasoning behind not filling up her voice mail with dozens of messages 'cause that does come across as needy and insecure, but a girl's response to me leaving 1 message is just my way of weeding out the flakes and sh!t testers.

Any girl who has a high IL in you will call you back if you leave a message. If she doesn't she's either playing games and doesn't realise she just lost, or has low IL.

 

[Ronin I]

I can absolutely understand the reasoning behind not filling up her voice mail with dozens of messages 'cause that does come across as needy and insecure, but a girl's response to me leaving 1 message is just my way of weeding out the flakes and sh!t testers.
Any girl who has a high IL in you will call you back if you leave a message. If she doesn't she's either playing games and doesn't realise she just lost, or has low IL.

I kind of agree with this. I think it's OK to leave a message after the first date but not before (after getting the number but before the actual first date.)

I think after the first date you should have been able to build up enough rapport where the girl SHOULD give you a courtesy call back.

 

[NewMike]

Yup. Agreed.

I figured that if I left a msg, and she called back, that would show the IL right there.

Well she called last night. (1 day after I called) We spoke on the phone a bit and she's going to call me after she gets her work schedule on Tuesday so we can schedule the next date.

Any suggestions? How is a baseball game for date number 2? Comments?

Any other suggestions? I'm planning on giving her a Fri night slot

 

[Ronin I]

I like the idea of a baseball game for a second date.
It's diferent.

I was thinking about the doing the same thing with one of my girls (this Fri) until we got into a convo about sports and she told me she loves basketball and football but HATES watching baseball.

So I decided to take her to a amusement park (this Sun) and try to find somebody else to go to the game with me.
Could be a good idea to probe your girl and make sure that she doesn't hate watching baseball (some people think it's real boring). Personally, I'm a long time fan of the game and enjoy watching it (find it relaxing) but everybody's different.

 

[jnallen]

Always wait a few days to call.