C&F Does not work for me...

[styleman]

Me : "It's just the suave-boy touch"
Her : "Do you think I'm a suave girl"
Me: "Nah, actually, you are more of a frumpy girl"
Her : "What!??"
Me : "Yeah you are just obese, how do you even get like that, you don't even eat meat"
(she's actually not fat, and she is a vegetarian, hence the meat comment)
Her : "I'm upset with you!"
... I move the conversation to another topic..

Another situation:

Me: "Did you really send me that text, or was it one of your friends?"
Her: "No, it was me, why?"
Me: "Oh it does not matter, forget it."
Her: "No, tell me"
Me: "Okay, I just thought you were not that outspoken"
Her: starts yelling, "I am outspoken!" like a little brat...

Every time I use C&F I tend to fail... maybe its got something to do with my accent, its upper class British (Received Pronunciation, Central London, where I also live, but of course most people here do not speak with this accent), its kind of difficult t sound light hearted... any ideas how to get around this, and no I do not think I can change my accent, without sounding like a ponce.

 

[Docs]

On the other hand, you have a accent, and British men tend to be funny if used properly.

 

[Cruise]

eh... I don't know if I see anything here where she blatantly ISN'T enjoying it.

I think you're fretting because she's verbally saying that she doesn't like what you just said. Go deeper than that, because sometimes calibrating what a female SAYS isn't all that accurate. Read her body language. Does she get a little smile when she talks **** back to you? Then you're good. Does she punch you when she says "**** you!" ? You're golden.

Now, if it seems like she is GENUINELY peeved - she stops talking to you, she gets teary-eyed, starts looking away from you - then all you have to do is just let her know you were playing with her. At this point, she'll let you know how she feels about the level of C&F you're giving her.

There's this chick at this moment that keeps on calling me, and all I do is I enjoy talking mad funny **** about her and how she keeps on wanting to marry me, etc. etc. Her response is always along the lines of, "I have better things to do than to sit here and listen to your B.S." But the irony here? She can't get enough of me! She just keeps calling and calling and calling and calling. So I just keep on doing the same old things that I've been doing and have fun with it.

Roll with the punches. Don't tell her you're joking with her unless you feel it's really necessary. Sooner or later, usually sooner THAN later, females pick up on your sense of humor, and adapt to it, and actually learn to enjoy the interaction from there.

Good luck!

 

[styleman]

On the other hand, you have a accent, and British men tend to be funny if used properly.

Erm, perhaps when on holiday in America... But small problem, I live in England! (as mentioned in my 1st post), so I doubt many people consider it funny, they just tend to see it as stuck up (which admittidly I am), becuase it is a very tradtional accent, (Listen to David Cameron or Prince Charles for an idea)
Do you think I am taking the ****y part to far, where it becomes insulting?

 

[upsidedownside7]

That's not ****y funny, that's sh*t. ****y funny is coming up with scenarios that make you flip the script and make you seem like a snotty woman and she has to work for YOU. She comes back with a drink, you say "uhhh you forgot mine". She says "huh?", you say "you'll learn next time" and move ON. Maybe even talk to another friend at that point. She'll GET the message.

Take neutral boring facts and twist them around making them funny. You really shouldn't do it as your sole meal ticket to getting ass, ****y funny alone won't get her in your pants, it'll get your foot in the door and get her thinking, this guy is fun. Give yourself value but eventually your going to have to give her ego SOME validation. Calling her obese is horrid.

 

[styleman]

That's not ****y funny, that's sh*t. ****y funny is coming up with scenarios that make you flip the script and make you seem like a snotty woman and she has to work for YOU. She comes back with a drink, you say "uhhh you forgot mine". She says "huh?", you say "you'll learn next time" and move ON. Maybe even talk to another friend at that point. She'll GET the message.

Take neutral boring facts and twist them around making them funny. You really shouldn't do it as your sole meal ticket to getting ass, ****y funny alone won't get her in your pants, it'll get your foot in the door and get her thinking, this guy is fun. Give yourself value but eventually your going to have to give her ego SOME validation. Calling her obese is horrid.

Can you elaborate on why it is not C&F?

P.S. There is no way either of us belived she was 'obese', she is actually in decent shape.

 

[saki]

P.S. There is no way either of us belived she was 'obese', she is actually in decent shape.

Even skinny girls think their obese. You shouldnt go there period. Keep it more impersonal by addressing her behavior and actions.

 

[upsidedownside7]

Can you elaborate on why it is not C&F?

P.S. There is no way either of us belived she was 'obese', she is actually in decent shape.

Whether it's ****y + funny is irrelevant, it's not going to consistently pull you anything...trust me I know. Good ****y + funny is hinting at something. She starts eating a donut like a pig like "you better control yourself or I won't bother flirting with you anymore". That's a subcommunication that she could be fat now, will be fat, you having high standards and she better get her act together or she's OUT while giving her some VALIDATION you were flirting with her. I guarantee you a bazillion bux she'll try diffusing the situation by qualifying herself (she works out, she cheats on her diet one day a week etc) and you can say "calm down, I'm not ditching you yet" while touching her.

She knows she wasn't obese, she will just think you are a jerk(at the game you were spitting). She might want to tame you just for sport but considering your using only a few ****y funny lines to get control, I bet on her winning this game.

 

[styleman]

Even skinny girls think their obese. You shouldnt go there period. Keep it more impersonal by addressing her behavior and actions.

How do you explain the reaction to the outspoken comment?

 

[upsidedownside7]

Can you elaborate on why it is not C&F?

P.S. There is no way either of us belived she was 'obese', she is actually in decent shape.

Whether it's ****y + funny is irrelevant, it's not going to consistently pull you anything...trust me I know. Good ****y + funny is hinting at something. She starts eating a donut like a pig like "you better control yourself or I won't bother flirting with you anymore". That's a subcommunication that she could be fat now, will be fat, you having high standards and she better get her act together or she's OUT while giving her some VALIDATION you were flirting with her. I guarantee you a bazillion bux she'll try diffusing the situation by qualifying herself (she works out, she cheats on her diet one day a week etc) and you can say "calm down, I'm not ditching you yet" while touching her.

She knows she wasn't obese, she will just think you are a jerk(at the game you were spitting). She might want to tame you just for sport but considering your using only a few ****y funny lines to get control, I bet on her winning this game.

 

[styleman]

Whether it's ****y + funny is irrelevant, it's not going to consistently pull you anything...trust me I know. Good ****y + funny is hinting at something. She starts eating a donut like a pig like "you better control yourself or I won't bother flirting with you anymore". That's a subcommunication that she could be fat now, will be fat, you having high standards and she better get her act together or she's OUT while giving her some VALIDATION you were flirting with her. I guarantee you a bazillion bux she'll try diffusing the situation by qualifying herself (she works out, she cheats on her diet one day a week etc) and you can say "calm down, I'm not ditching you yet" while touching her.

She knows she wasn't obese, she will just think you are a jerk(at the game you were spitting). She might want to tame you just for sport but considering your using only a few ****y funny lines to get control, I bet on her winning this game.

Both different girls, I don't have interest for either, but thanks, this makes things cleaer.

 

[silenthill]

I've had cf blow in my face a couple times, it sucks

 

[TommiV]

This si just meant as an opinion and not meant to offend anyone here but...

I see guys posting a lot of examples of ****y and funny on here and well, none of its funny....

Take the first bit of conersation, calling her obese. It sounds text book Dadvid DeAngelo but in the real world, its just not funny, its insulting. If you try to deleiver it right, you can kinda of get away wit it wit some girls but most likely going on to add the obese thing, really made it unfunny. Even awkward in the sence that it was insulting.

I see a lot of posters here too trying to give "c&f" witty comments and remarks to posts instead of helping out. Most of it is soooo not funny and they usually just come across as being a jerk.

Its just a frame of mind. You can't just go around chatting away with a girl then all of a sudden hit her with telling her she's huge.
The other day me and this girl were chatting away and she just kinda set herself up for this joke, I couldn't resist so it was something abut her having a big ass. I mean you can't just be talking all serious and then just say "yeah, you have a fat ass".
I was more like, i kept making little hints at her having a big ass and she kept doing the same about me having a spotty face or something like that. But thats all it is, little sarcastic digs and then laugh and drop it. If she laughs she's game. but DON'T keep on going. Have you ever watche d aguy who just can't tell a joke? Its painful, its kinda like that, you can't harp on it or stretch it with the obese remark. just make it playful, anymore and its not funny to her therefore, don't go there.

 

[MetalFortress]

Me : "It's just the suave-boy touch"
Her : "Do you think I'm a suave girl"
Me: "Nah, actually, you are more of a frumpy girl"
Her : "What!??"
Me : "Yeah you are just obese, how do you even get like that, you don't even eat meat"
(she's actually not fat, and she is a vegetarian, hence the meat comment)
Her : "I'm upset with you!"
... I move the conversation to another topic..

Another situation:

Me: "Did you really send me that text, or was it one of your friends?"
Her: "No, it was me, why?"
Me: "Oh it does not matter, forget it."
Her: "No, tell me"
Me: "Okay, I just thought you were not that outspoken"
Her: starts yelling, "I am outspoken!" like a little brat...

Every time I use C&F I tend to fail... maybe its got something to do with my accent, its upper class British (Received Pronunciation, Central London, where I also live, but of course most people here do not speak with this accent), its kind of difficult t sound light hearted... any ideas how to get around this, and no I do not think I can change my accent, without sounding like a ponce.

That's not ****y and funny. ****y and funny is supposed to make her LAUGH. She can call you a jerk while laughing, she can hit you playfully while laughing, but she has to be laughing. Read the "C+F" link in my signature.

 

[jakeyboy]

Hey MetalFortress you're absolutely damnning right. this guy aint doing c&f, he's negging her. and neg hits dont work unless with the bloody gorgeous HBs. because everyone else will be licking their feet and suddenly you blow them away with a neg hit.

styleman, you said this:
Me : "Yeah you are just obese, how do you even get like that, you don't even eat meat"
(she's actually not fat, and she is a vegetarian, hence the meat comment

how is that even remotely funny? it's just plain insulting.

C&F is usually playful and the mood is light.

You: Are you rich/famous?
She: <whatever>
You: You know, this relationship is not going to work out … I am breaking up with you!
You: <hit her with a napkin like a prissy>
She: Bla bla … We are not even going out.
You: That's just one more reason to end it.

go brush up on your c&f mate. and don't neg average lookin chicks

 

[Last Man Standing]

If you have to "try" to be funny then you are not funny!!! "Funny" is genetic and not learned unless you do "canned" jokes.

 

[wheelin&dealin]

You can throw the ****y & funny stuff out there, but some chicks just don't get it (aka.. they're idiots). So it may not be you, it could be the chick.

 

[j8snx1]

Me : "It's just the suave-boy touch"
Her : "Do you think I'm a suave girl"
Me: "Nah, actually, you are more of a frumpy girl"
Her : "What!??"
Me : "Yeah you are just obese, how do you even get like that, you don't even eat meat"
(she's actually not fat, and she is a vegetarian, hence the meat comment)
Her : "I'm upset with you!"
... I move the conversation to another topic..

Another situation:

Me: "Did you really send me that text, or was it one of your friends?"
Her: "No, it was me, why?"
Me: "Oh it does not matter, forget it."
Her: "No, tell me"
Me: "Okay, I just thought you were not that outspoken"
Her: starts yelling, "I am outspoken!" like a little brat...
=========================================================

REASONS WHY IT'S NOT C&F:

First conversation:
1) Calling a girl OBESE is just gay, especially when girls have that self-conscious phase. HOWEVER, it usually works to your favor when the girl is very slim/hot and you put her down from her pedastal by using C&F to imply that she isn't THAT hot. But calling a girl fat with little or no playful tone is simply wrong.

2) The text message conversation wasn't really C&F at all; it was just you expressing your opinion about one of her traits. In order to apply a C&F on something like that, you should turn it into something wacky, poking fun at her but not to the point where you insult her.

ex:
she texts you saying stuff like "ooh i want you baby" and all that dirty stuff.
you would say about that with C&F by saying:
"was that really you?"
"yeah, why?"
"well, i had this firm image of you that you were some catholic nun-bound school nerd, not a dirty-talking text messager, which is something im beginning to like about you." (with a big fat grin on your face)

I dunno man. It takes practice (to a certain degree), but if humor is something you're not entirely compatible with then you should find other alternatives. Forcibly being funny isn't funny at all.

C&F is usually taken overboard, such as guys insulting girls and think they're doing C&F. Be careful with it, but have fun with it. If all else fails, you can be serious in a sarcastic manner(?)

 

[Keeper]

You didn't do that bad, man. It was C&F... but you let it end to seen. Tease her to the max. You could have improved on the C&F like j8snx1 demonstrated above, but what you did was good enough - just don't buy into the whole "upset" thing.

 

[MetalFortress]

If you have to "try" to be funny then you are not funny!!! "Funny" is genetic and not learned unless you do "canned" jokes.

^Generic excuse used by unfunny people.

The truth is, humor is like game, muscle, baseball, anything. You improve it by practicing. No, not by practicing canned lines - but by becoming a quicker-witted person.