c.a. waste of time?

[HOSS83]

i've seen a few guys here say that cold approaches are a waste of time, and are only used to get your confidence up...

i've had similar, if not more success on cold approaches than in bar/club/party pickups..

anyone else think cold approaching is a waste of time?

 

[Alphathree]

If you can make it work, no one's stopping you.

I've found that cold approaches strip me of all of my normal advantages like social status/social proof/DHV, confidence, context for discussion, and so on.

Not only that, but SHE is probably more guarded and wondering who this weird guy is.

Obviously people make it work... and like I said... that's great...

 

[h2o]

Originally posted by HOSS83
i've seen a few guys here say that cold approaches are a waste of time, and are only used to get your confidence up...

i've had similar, if not more success on cold approaches than in bar/club/party pickups..

anyone else think cold approaching is a waste of time?

I've personally found bars/clubs to be easier, but to each his own. Although it's a long story, but I think I'm goint to give daytime approaches a second shot.

In terms of "success," how many lays/fbs/gfs have you gotten of cold approaches? Because, with clubs/bars, it's like I can go there (to this particular club I know) and know I'll get laid that night. I'm not so sure about cold approaches...but I'm going to be experimenting with it.

maybe you can post some tips on how/why you are so good?

 

[Vincent]

Everyone who says CA's are a waste of time are just afraid to do them.

 

[PeoplesChamp]

"Cold Approaches don't work" is the biggest AFC line of bs. What do you do when you see a girl you're interested in? Cross your fingers and hope she comes up to you?

That being said the term "cold approach" is a misnomer anyway...it connotates jumping from rafters above and ambushing her. Make eye contact...approach...(3 second rule)...

 

[Inc. ©]

Ok, I just started doing cold approaches today and I'm going to try to stick with it for a while. In my head, it's kind of a catch-22.

I still do think of cold approaches as kinda weird socially and possibly creepy.

However, on the other hand, I think it'd be lame to go through life and just meet people through work/school/friends.

 

[prowler13]

dont mean to seem like a rookie, but what the hell is a cold approach?

 

[ketostix]

Well a cold approach was slightly mischaracterized in this thread. A cold approach is approaching a female that you do not previously know and who doesn't previously know you. It doesn't matter if you do this approach at night in a club or during the day on the street, a bookstore, etc., or whether or not she gives you AI (approach invitation) or IOI (indicator of interest). It's still a cold approach if you weren't introduced to her by a mutual friend.

It might be easier to approach a girl in certain settings like if you're at a club or party (where people already know each other) where you have social proof and she's giving you an AI, but if you approach a girl directly that you don't know, I consider that to technically be a cold approach. What makes it "cold" is you're both strangers with no third parties to help you out. Maybe the question in this thread should be is CA a waste of time without her giving you an AI first or in certain settings. I'd say no because I've had girls send me huge AI and even approach me and it was no easier than approaching a girl that didn't send an AI first, they both can and will lose intereest just as fast and expect you to "game" them just as effectively in either case.. This is my sticking point actually.

 

[RaWBLooD]

Originally posted by Vincent
Everyone who says CA's are a waste of time are just afraid to do them.

its so true in a lot of things in life.

 

[I_Only_Live_Once]

Cold Approaches are good, especially if there are no HB's you like in your social circle/school/work etc. It's not like I'm just gonna sit around, do nothing and wait until an new HB happens to join our social circle/work/school.

 

[HOSS83]

Someone posted yesterday that cold approaches were only to up your confidence, while what you should really be doing is building a social circle to meet others.

To me, this seems kind of AFC. I mean, isn't the whole idea of a DJ to be a f'n man, and go get what you want, rather than a great post I read the other day where in most social circles you are "set up" with a girl through her friends, and you have no control of it.

For me at least, I want to be the one who picks who I date. Not the guys/girls in my social circle.

As for the guy who asked why I'm so good at cold approaches? Once you get the girl over the initial "OMG who is this stranger" stage, it's actually quite normal.

 

[PeoplesChamp]

Originally posted by ketostix
Well a cold approach was slightly mischaracterized in this thread. A cold approach is approaching a female that you do not previously know and who doesn't previously know you. It doesn't matter if you do this approach at night in a club or during the day on the street, a bookstore, etc., or whether or not she gives you AI (approach invitation) or IOI (indicator of interest). It's still a cold approach if you weren't introduced to her by a mutual friend.

It might be easier to approach a girl in certain settings like if you're at a club or party (where people already know each other) where you have social proof and she's giving you an AI, but if you approach a girl directly that you don't know, I consider that to technically be a cold approach. What makes it "cold" is you're both strangers with no third parties to help you out. Maybe the question in this thread should be is CA a waste of time without her giving you an AI first or in certain settings. I'd say no because I've had girls send me huge AI and even approach me and it was no easier than approaching a girl that didn't send an AI first, they both can and will lose intereest just as fast and expect you to "game" them just as effectively in either case.. This is my sticking point actually.

Great Points! I think it's a legitimate and interesting topic as well. I've always heard that a cold approach without an IOI or AI will have a much lower probabiliity of success. Of course this doesn't mean it will have zero probability of success, but since time is a limited resource why purposefully neglect to take IOI into account when doing cold approaches?

 

[TubularBells28]

The best cold approaches involve evaluating the surroundings during your intial introduction.

For example, instead of just saying, "hi", comment on the surroundings. If it is at church, comment on the sermon. At a club, comment on the music. Bookstore, talk about novels or what she is reading. Once you are done with that, go ahead and say your name, and you can go from there.

 

[Smooth Player 056]

Originally posted by Vincent
Everyone who says CA's are a waste of time are just afraid to do them.

Definetly. People who make excuses are afraid/ or dont have enough confidence to do them. I dont think you can become a true master withought being able to succesfully cold approach.