bytch is pushing me to the limit!!!

[woods]

O.K., Im not sarging this chick or anything, first of all. She used to be a bartender where I hang out, and we were always cool. everyone I know would call her Split PersoNatalie, and I couldnt figure out why. After she stopped working at this bar, she turned into this total attitude bytch, and I called her on it a couple times. I asked her why she was such a bytch now, and she said I was a "false friend." Honestly, I have never done shyt to her. I considered us to be Bartender and customer myself. We were'nt "friends." She is kind of hot, btw.

Anyway, I don't see her too much anymore, but when I do, she actively fvcks with me, and wont stop. Last night, about 3 am. in the bar, her and her fiance comes in, and we have a bunch of mutual friends there. She immediately starts in, calling me a faggot, and a pvssy to all my friends. I accuse her of being in love with me, and tell her how nice it must be to have a vagina to hide behind, and laugh at her and play it off like I dont care. I dont know her fiance, but I heard rumors that he is affiliated with Hells Angels, so I dont want to piss him off, cuz I might get stabbed or something. He doesnt get involved and seems to be somewhat cordial with me. She was pissing me off so bad I almost started throwing bottles at her, but I played it off the best I could, that it didnt bother me.

I need to do something about this situation, but I dont know what to do. All the chicks I know are either cool with her, or scared of her. ( I hang out out with a pretty hardcore crowd, btw) Everybody thinks she is both cool, and a cvnt, at the same time, and our mutual friends stick up for me when she does this. She is putting a LOT of energy into fvcking with me, and I dont know why. I have done nothing to her. I have talked shyt after she turned into a bytch, but I've said it to her face too. She was 86'd from my bar for a while cuz she pissed in the ice machine, and I told her to her face that I thought oit was fvcked up, cuz my 50 year old neighbor lady had to clean it up.

What do I do? I feel like a chump, by not taking action, but she will win, if it gets the best of me, and I fly off the handle. I dont want to beat her boyfriend up, cuz he's never done anything to me. I almost want to go in the bathroom, piss in a plastic cup and throw it in her face. She would probably stab me if I did though. I've seen her do it. Advice??

 

[Interceptor]

Woods, I'm curious at why she said you were a 'false friend".
Are you absolutely positive you were NOT trying to 'get with ' this chick?
Are you sure you haven't done favors for her or implied that you would?
Any emotional intimacy there between you two?

 

[Mr. Me]

You have to learn how to walk away from bad situations. You pick yourself up and get out. This isn't being a p#ssy, this is about not tolerating abuse and drama by sticking around for more. You can't reason with crazy people. She's gonna keep on trying to show she's meaner and tougher than you, whatever you throw at her.

Take care of yourself first. If you feel that you'd be pushed into flying off the handle, learn how to have a longer fuse and how to not let others trigger it. You're 32 years old! Learn how not to think in terms of beating up people as remedies. I can't see why you'd even talk to her after she first started bytching at you and called you a "false friend", let alone after she peed into the ice machine.

I know a gal just like the one you describe. Down to pissing in public. She's an angry, mean classless nut. Unbelievably sexy as hell though, which is why I went out with her once, but before I got to see what a nut she was.

 

[joekerr31]

you should go buy a cheap video camera. then next time she is being a total b*tch video tape it. she'll be like 'what the f*ck are you doing? why are you taping this?"

then laugh and say "you are so insane i've just got to get this on camera and post it on youtube. You're going to be famous sweet heart."

but aside from that it sounds like this woman is mentally unstable. and it says something that she is welcomed by your circle of friends - sounds like you need a new circle of friends to be honest.

but in terms of handling this in the moment. this is no different than the school yard bully, or to be more precise, some wimp who has the school yard bully as his enforcer. actually its even worse, because its like some mentally ill school yard wimp with an enforcer.

one thing with people who are mentally ill is that there is no reasoning with them. you can make her look like the biggest fool and it won't reign her in.

you've tried to belittle her attacks and she keeps on coming. plus you are concerned with her bf being part of a biker gang.

i dont really see a resolution here. the more you fight her the more she will fight back. usually in these situations ones friends will come to your rescue and peopel will basically ostracize the crazy woman.

hence why i say, i think your problem is more than just her, its your circle of friends.

 

[joekerr31]

by the way, go to pretty much any metro downtown area and you will see at least a half dozen of these kinds of women.

they typically have a bruiser boyfriend (roided up criminal type). they are loud, obnoxious and in everyones face - and the boyfriend is there to keep everyone from saying anything (and often is more than happy to engage in a fight).

really all you can do is take solice in knowing that their lives are sh*t, that one or both of them will probably end up in jail, and that at least we live in a free society where you can get up and go have a drink somewhere else.

i know some peopel will say you should lay in to her and then kick the crap out of the boyfriend. but even if you are physically strong enough to beat hte boyfriend up, its still not a smart idea. crazy people do crazy things, and the last thing you need is some dude walking up to a week later and putting a bullet in your head.

golden rule #315: stay as far away from self destructive crazy people as you can. they generally have nothing to lose cuz their lives are a train wreck and have no problem spending a night in jail.

 

[Bible_Belt]

fwiw, check the laws in your state, but in Illinois it is a felony to record the conversation of another party without their consent. Corrupt politicians love that law.

The girl is bipolar. Don't hate her for it; it's not easy being her, nor is it easy for anyone in her life. I bet her bf is sick of her sh!t already. It sounds like he is not looking for a fight. As long as you do not imply to him that you want to fight - don't square up and try to look tough - then the will leave you alone. Just laughing it off is the best way. Hell, laugh at her with him, in a good natured way, like you would laugh at a little girl throwing a cute tantrum.

 

[joekerr31]

oh one last thing...

take solice in the fact that at some point the bruiser boyfriend will eventually run into some crazy ex-military MMA expert that will break his nose and teach him a lesson.

and she will probably run in to some chic who is crazier than her who will give her a black eye.

given enough time everyone gets whats coming to them. people who go looking for trouble eventually find more of it than they bargained for.

 

[woods]

Woods, I'm curious at why she said you were a 'false friend".
Are you absolutely positive you were NOT trying to 'get with ' this chick?
Are you sure you haven't done favors for her or implied that you would?
Any emotional intimacy there between you two?

Like I said, she was a bartender at the place I frequent. We've never had each others phone numbers, never been to each others houses, never hung out, outside of this bar. I wouldn't call us real friends, so to speak.When she started working at some other place, she changed, and everyone saw it. Everyone I know thinks she's ****ed up now. It's not just me.

No, I was not trying to get with her. I always considered her off limits, cuz she dated this guy I know for 6 years on and off. I think he fvcked her up the most, actually. I had a little crush on her when I first met her, as did every guy, but I never went for it.

Emotional intimacy? I dunno. Not on my part anyway. She used to be a sweetheart, and we talked to each other, but thats it.

She refuses to tell me what exactly I supposedly said or did. I very rarely see her, actually.

Everyone in my scene knows each other, I dont think its my circle of friends that's the problem, aside from a few bad apples here and there, and I dont consider those ones, my friends anyway.

 

[woods]

I think the next time I see her BF without her, I will try to bro down with him. That sounds like I good move on my part. I have had good luck in the past by befriending my enemies friends. They always seem to go to my side in the end

 

[Interceptor]

OK, cool, Woods.
Thanks for answering my questions.

Basically, then this could jst be some imagined offense on her part, she might be on some kind of drugs, and /or is mentally unstable.

(I still feel something is 'off', but I'll take your word.)


However, having said that, I do see a problem with you believing that somehow you think you're a 'chump' by not being aggressive with her, and somehow you think she will 'win".

It's not a good place to be when someone can get at you this much, dude.
She is pretty much insignificant, and should not have such a strong hold on you this way.

She will 'win' nothing, only if you really believe there is some sort of competition, or battle.
it is somewhat immature and self defeating to put this situation in that particular perspective.

She cannot get to you, if you don't want her to.
She cannot break your confidence and self esteem, and steal your masculinity if you don't want that to happen.
It's all under your control.


Part of being a Man is being independent, and self assured, and having the resources to stand on your own two feet.
Also, recognizing value, and good quality in your relationships, and what are win/win and win/lose situations.


Anxiety and suffering come from not realizing that you cannot control those people.

One can't just 'analyze' this and it will go away.
One has to act.

Simply go on about your business, and let the belief take hold that this woman has no power over you. Make that realization for yourself.

And do the things you like to do, even in the face of her actions.

Now, here's the thing.
I am still concerned to just how much emotional investment you put in her and this situation.
This bothers me.

How fragile is your Ego, man?
How hard do you really have to try to protect it?
And your masculinity and honor?
This woman is really tearing you apart isn't she?
Dude, this should not be this way.

Do not put so much value in some insignificant, and negative person so that they can actually 'live inside your head' like this.

Stop worrying about these people who have little honor, self respect, and manners, and start placing your focus on yourself and accomplishing your Mission as a Man.

If you feel you MUST resolve this, then perhaps 'broing down' with the BF may not be a bad idea. I'm not sure what you'll accomplish with it though. He may think you are too fragile and may have an ulterior motive, and feelings for his girl. IDK.
Seriously, what reason would he have to have a 'talk' with her about you?

No one likes to be disrespected.
I understand that perhaps you would like the BF to do something about it, but you also have to realize that you can't control him either, and prepare to receive an attitude of indifference form the guy.
If you can't expect honor and respect form the female, what makes you think the BF will have that?




But I don't know how good your people skills are to make this work for you.
Whatever you do, remember your worth and value, and make sure you reflect your honor and respect in your interaction.

Good luck.

And yeah, consider the 'source'. Think about the kinds of people you hang out with, and make sure that you are being fully yourself, and aligned with what YOU want, and WHO YOU are.

 

[the_absolute]

Stay away from her. Take precautions.

There is really very little in this world as dangerous as pvzzy when it's evil, violent and intelligent. It's like a jihadi with a nuke.

Pray she crashes and burns (or gets crashed and burned by thug BF, or drunk driving etc.) somewhere away from you.

And yes, she is BPD or Borderline, and probably ADD or PTSD leading to sociopath personality and she probably has a high IQ for a woman.

Oh, and no don't call the cops. Cops are men, usually violent men, who really like pvzzy and in addition to this, members of organized crime outfits regularly take out "snitches" and if her BF is rolling with a real chapter they'll clip your wings before you can fly.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Stay away from her. Take precautions.
..
members of organized crime outfits regularly take out "snitches" and if her BF is rolling with a real chapter they'll clip your wings before you can fly.

I hesitate to post this, but feel obligated to. Be careful around HA's, if this gal is engaged to one, it would be best to swallow your pride and let things slide a little, ie..don't put an ego investment in this chick. HA's generally treat their women very badly, but I doubt they would tolerate an "outsider" doing the same.

What I would do? Here's a thought, every time she insults you, compliment her. She yells at you and calls you a faggot, you calmly tell her she has a beautiful smile..she screams your a loser, tell her her shoes look nice.

Eventually she will get tired of the 'compliments', get flustered, and focus her negative energy on some other poor sap that will get sucked right into it. Plus, it says you are a bigger person. Insults and negativity do NOT get to you.

Also, have you thought, maybe, she gets treated like complete dogsh!t by her fiance, and his crew? If he is an HA, I'll bet she has some 'build up anger' inside.

Be wary of your social group..

 

[MightyMate]

Maybe theres some misunderstanding. Try talkin to her.